Chen Feiyan IV

the Monastery, Heguri Empire

a Sparring Partner

The roosters called, and Chen Feiyan rolled off her small straw mattress and onto the stone floor. She laid there with her back on the ground, arms and legs splayed wide, staring at the ceiling for a minute before dragging herself to her feet. The stone was hard but smooth enough and cool against her back. She wanted to sleep but knew that wasn’t going to be happening. Fei’s mornings weren’t her own anymore. No more quick breakfasts and walks outside the gates, and no more sitting under the twisted pines, alone with her thoughts, watching the rise over the valley below.

She was tired. Badger hadn’t lied when she said the training was going to be difficult. Fei thought back on her first month at the monastery. It had all been so simple and quaint until the night she fell asleep outside the walls: waking up early, eating breakfast, watching the sunrise, working with the animals, getting lots of sleep; all that was gone. Fei’s steady life was gone as fast as it began, and yet she wouldn’t change a thing.

Fei pulled herself up off the stone floor and sat cross-legged. She placed her hands on her knees like Badger taught her and closed her eyes. Fei breathed in and out deeply, focusing on her breath and only her breath. Or at least, she tried to. Her mind was racing ahead through the rest of her day. She would eat breakfast with Badger and head out into the fields. She was Badger’s official protege now, but that did not exempt her from her rotations. Badger knew how to do everything at the monastery, which meant Fei needed to, too. If anything, the rotations were all the more serious now. There was no time to waste during the day.

Fei’s mind wandered as she thought. She was supposed to stop herself when this happened, but she did not put in much effort. She thought of Badger’s warm smile and her strong hands on her shoulders and let her mind drift away.

Summer turned into autumn, and Fei finished animal husbandry. She moved out into the fields with the Hare and Frog and the rest of the farm workers. The terraces faded from their brilliant green to a muddled green-yellow. The grains were on their way to the golden color that meant that they would be ready to be harvested. Hare, Frog, Fei, and the other workers spent the previous week diverting the water that flowed into the terraces back into the river and down the mountain. They were waiting for the water level to drop to a few more inches in the terraces before removing the terrace dams and letting the remaining water run back into the river.

Rat was the group head for the farms. She was an older woman of close to fifty years. Rat was short and stocky, with wide hips and weathered skin. The head of the farms wore cloth tied around her head to soak up the sweat from her days in the field, which gave her a distinctive look from the rest of the farmworkers. Rat didn’t speak often, but Fei noticed when she did, all those around her stopped and listened.

Rat earned her respect. She doesn’t raise her voice or make demands, yet they all follow her lead obediently as school children.

Fei’s mind continued to wander as she thought more about her day ahead. After the fields, Fei would hurry through dinner and then train with Badger in the courtyard before finishing with more meditation. Sleep followed meditation, and then the same wheel rolled over again the following day.

Fei wasn’t paying attention to her breath any longer. Fei knew she should stop her thoughts and focus on her breathing again, but she let them run. Her mind drifted further from Badger’s hands, past her daily schedule, and to Badger’s staff and the light she expelled. Fei had not seen any more magic since the night outside the walls. The memory of the creature was always on her mind.

That’s what I should be learning, not how to farm fields or parry blows.

There was a knock at the door.

Fei heard Badger call through the door in the Heguri tongue, “Ready for breakfast, little Moth?”

Badger forbade her to speak the Daming tongue anymore. While it had been difficult at first, her comprehension and speech were improving quickly.

Fei jumped up unconcerned about another failed round of meditation, “Coming!”

When Fei reached her doorway that led out into the courtyard, Badger was already ten meters ahead. Her smooth long strides took her towards the eating hall tucked into the mountainside. Fei watched her strong frame as she strode away. Smoke rose from the kitchens. The wind blew, and the maples about them rustled. Fei smiled.

Fei ran to catch up, and Badger continued in Heguri, “How was your morning meditation?”

“Fine.”

“Just fine?”

Fei smiled at her, “You know.”

“No, I don’t know. Use your words.”

Fei had developed a familiarity with Badger. She spoke freely with her mentor but hid some details, “My mind was racing again. It’s harder than you think. It might be easy for you, but my mind is racing. There’s so much to learn.”

Well, I didn’t try that hard to stop my mind from wandering.

“Oh it’s more difficult for you than everyone else?”

Fei replied sourly, “You know what I mean.”

The Badger paused her stride and smiled down at Fei, “Look, I know it’s not the most exciting part of all this, but I promise you, you won’t get to where you want to go without it. There will come a time when meditation will be the most rewarding part of all of this. Do you trust me?”

Fei looked up at the Badger, “Yes.”

“Ok. We’ll do better tonight, then. Let’s eat.”

Breakfast was plain vegetable broth with rice, a boiled egg, and tea. Fei sat the Badger for breakfast, and they went over the Heguri farming vocabulary while eating. The Badger tested her with some new vocabulary specific to the terrace draining and harvesting that would come next in the fields. Fei enjoyed the little progress she was making with the language and even grew to appreciate some of the differences between the Heguri tongue and her mother tongue. She looked up for a moment to spot Hare and Frog passing by their table on the way to grabbing their seats. Hare’s short pigeon-toed strides complimented Frog’s languid, slouched walk.

“See you out there today, Moth,” Hare said in her friendly tone.

“We would join you, but it looks like you have important business,” Frog said, in her usual deadpan.

Badger waved them off, “Move along, we’re trying to teach this one to speak so she can help you today.”

“Bless you, Badger,” Frog replied, “I’m tired of carrying her weight. You know she’s much heavier than she looks, that frail little thing.”

If Fei didn’t know Frog by now, she would think she was serious. Fei smiled, and Hare hit Frog on the shoulder with her sinewy arm like a mother correcting a child. The pair continued on their way to sit down on the other end of the table. A cart rolled by, and Fei watched as they both grabbed a warm bowl of broth.

“Look at you, little Moth, making friends.”

“Very funny, Badger,” Fei smiled, “More words, let’s go. You’re right. I can barely speak while I’m out there.”

It was autumn, and the humid heat began to give way to cooler mornings and nights. The middle of the day was still hot, and the mud from the terraces caked Fei’s hands and forearms. Today she took measurements on the water levels in the rice terraces that cut through the mountain. Rat instructed the women to spread out and measure from specific points between them. Rat would tally up the numbers and decide whether or not to remove the small dams on the side of the terraces that afternoon. Fei drove her stake down into the earth again and tallied how far up the stake the water rose.

The terrace Fei was working in was consistent today. At almost every point in the terrace, the water level had fallen to the same level. Fei wondered if that would be enough for Rat. She was ready to try out the scythes as the sharp blades reminded her of the priests’ swords.

That’s the closest I’ll get to one for a while. Does Badger use a sword?

It was now late afternoon, and Fei had only one more point to tally in her terrace. The autumn sun was beginning to fall, and the gnarled pines left twisted shadows across the farms. Fei stood for a moment, wondering if she would see it again tonight if she stayed outside the wall. It should scare her, she knew, but it did not. When Fei stood in the dark and watched Badger fly through the air and light up the creature, she felt alive. Fei felt unlike she had in years. Pangs of nostalgia came and went for a week after that night as she remembered what it was like to run through the dirt roads and fields of Loghua as a child with little Mei at her heels. She wished they could lie under the stars again. Her days were busy now, but her mind was alive again.

“What are you doing?”

Fei heard Frog’s empty tone coming from the terrace above her. She looked up and could almost spot a grin on Frog’s face.

Frog continued in her monotone voice, “Are you done or something? You’re just standing there.”

Fei laughed, “Almost. One more mark.”

“You’re strange. I’m done. I’ll see you back there.”

“Sounds good.”

“Hurry up, Moth.”

Fei could see the grin now.

Fei walked fifty meters down the terrace before stooping low to drive her stake into the mud again. She felt the thick mud squishing between her toes as she stood. Slowly her feet sank into a resting place between rows of stalks, and when the water calmed, she took the measurement.

The same.

Fei strolled back towards the meeting spot, stealing glimpses down the mountainside and into the valley below. It had been a while now since she wasted time out here, sitting beneath a twisted pine. For now, Fei could only steal views of the beautiful scenery as she worked. Her next rotation would be the kitchens which would keep her inside the walls entirely.

Enjoy the next couple of hours. It’ll be lesson time soon enough.

Fei hoped Badger might let her do something other than parry blows from an imaginary target tonight. The workouts left her exhausted and slightly frustrated.

How does anyone learn to fly through the air and kill a demon if all they do is defend themselves against the air for three hours? Did all of these women spend a month pretending to block imaginary punches? Do all of them mediate?

Fei stomped out of the muddy terrace and reached solid mountainside ground again. She wandered over to the water trough and washed her mud-caked feet, legs, hands, and forearms. Fei looked at the dirt that packed her fingernails. She was one of the last few in from the terraces, and she could see Rat already beginning to tally up the measurements near the barns. Hare was already there, predictably. She was a hard worker and always finished before the majority of the other women. The rumor was that Rat was grooming Hare to take over for her someday. Fei could see her short figure with its pigeon-toed legs standing against the barns. Frog was an average worker on her best day. She finished too and leaned against the barn next to Hare.

“Moth, your numbers, please.”

Fei saw Rat looking at her with her soft old eyes and snapped to attention. Sweat soaked Rat’s cloth on her brow, and her arms caked in mud.

“Of course,” Fei handed Rat her tally marks.

Rat looked over the marks and nodded, “Thank you, Moth.”

Fei bowed slightly and walked over to Hare and Frog. She spoke to them in Daming, “How did it go? It’s hot out.”

Frog shook her head, and Hare wagged her finger at Fei with a smile, “No, no, no. Badger told us no mother tongue with you little Moth.”

Fei rolled her eyes and continued in the Daming tongue, “Please, I miss it. No one is going to tell.”

The women stood there against the swine barn, looking unimpressed.

“Come on, I’m tired,” Fei went on, “I have all day out here in the farms, and then at night, I work more with the Badger. And I can’t even speak Daming.”

“Don’t be a baby,” Frog said, “Hare is so old. Do you hear her complaining about her work?”

Hare ground her teeth together and pretended to pound her fists on Frog’s shoulder, “I am not that old! How dare you!”

She turned to Fei, “None the less, Frog is right; you need your practice. You’ve come so far. Your Heguri is great.”

“I appreciate your kind words. You’re a good friend,” Fei looked sarcastically at Frog, “You too, Frog.”

Frog rolled her eyes and smirked.

“Any idea what you’ll work on with Badger tonight?” Hare asked in earnest.

“It’s still just fundamental stuff. It’s boring; Badger has a lot of administrative work to do,” Fei lied, “She said she has twenty years to teach me her work. Lots of documents and tabulating. Lots of organizing things.”

Hare looked legitimately interested in the lies Fei told, “She’s such a hard worker. We’re so lucky to have her.”

Frog raised her eyes, “I bet you’re thrilled about that.”

Fei gave Frog a look of acknowledgement.

Hare and Frog did not know what Fei was up to with Badger during their night sessions; none of the workers did. Fei and Badger worked in the small enclosed courtyard adjacent to the central tower. The enclosure protected them from the main courtyard’s view. During the day, the priests used the enclosure to spar out of sight from the rest of the population.

The three women stood against the barn in silence for a minute or two before Rat called.

“Alright, tomorrow, we open the dams. It’s time.”

The women cheered. Fei looked around at the faces of the workers and saw legitimate enthusiasm on their faces. Hare’s face lit in excitement.

They’re proud of their work.

Frog was more reserved, and Fei didn’t feel the excitement shared by the rest of the women. Fei wondered where Frog was from and how she ended up here.

When did you become so cynical? Why are you protecting yourself?

Frog reminded her of Zhong Bai. Fei realized she still didn’t know anyone’s story from before the monastery. She wondered if Hare knew Frog’s, and vise versa. Fei looked over to the small entrance between the walls and the farms, and suddenly her mind was back to the light and the flight. Fei remembered that night all over again. She was back in the dark, running from the red eyes, and Badger was flying past her with the staff.

“Coming?”

Fei looked up and saw Frog beckoning her towards the gate for dinner. Fei feigned a smile and ran to catch up with the others.

My training is moving too slow.

When Fei walked into the courtyard later that evening, Badger wasn’t alone. Standing next to her was the youngest priest, Mushroom, with her long shiny black hair.

Her hair always looks so healthy; how does she do that?

Mushroom had been one of the priests outside the wall with them the night Badger killed the creature. Tonight, she stood in her light blue silk priestess robes, with her arms crossed and one hip out slightly to the side. Mushroom looked unimpressed and frowned at Fei. She said nothing.

Fei looked to Badger, “What’s she doing here?”

“Good evening to you too, little Moth. It’s nice to see you,” Badger replied, “Tonight, we have company. It looked like you were growing tired of your lessons, so I thought we’d move on to some real hand-to-hand combat.”

Badger gestured towards Mushroom, who gave Fei an insincere grin and cocked her head to the side.

“Mushroom is the youngest priest at the monastery and the least experienced in the arts. She’ll be your sparring partner from now on. There is a big difference between you two now, but over the years, you will catch up little Moth.”

“I’m not the worst, just the least experienced,” replied Mushroom, “I can beat Deer, probably Willow, and Phesant.”

“I didn’t say you couldn’t.”

Mushroom sighed and then looked at Fei before announcing sarcastically, “I’m very excited about this if you were wondering.”

Badger’s big paw swung down and hit Mushroom across the back of the head before she could say anymore. Mushroom looked back at Badger and glared at her.

“Spider’s orders,” Badger shrugged.

Badger looked back towards Fei, “Now, Mushroom may be the youngest priest, but she’s still much stronger than you. I will control all hand-to-hand combat for the time being.”

Fei nodded. She could feel the weight of Mushroom’s frustration bearing down on her.

I wonder if Mushroom had any choice in this.

“I’ve told her what we’ve worked on. We’ll do one-minute rounds. Mushroom will throw simple punches, right then left. All you have to do is parry them away as we’ve practiced.”

“She asked me to hold back, Moth. She’s too afraid I’d hurt you. Must be nice to have your father here with you.”

Badger hit Mushroom again, but Mushroom just smiled and tossed her long black hair back over her shoulder. Fei hated her but couldn’t help but admire her character all the same. Mushroom was short, like the other priests. She was thin, but her muscles were strong and lean. She looked like an acrobat, like Spider. Her hair was impossibly long, black, and shiny, and it always looked like she had it falling just so. Mushroom’s face was symmetrical, and her eyes were a dark brown. Like everyone else at the monastery, her skin was tanned from the sun. Instead of weathered, Mushroom’s skin looked healthy and glowed even at night.

I wonder if she knows how to emit the light. I wonder how far ahead she is than me. We must move faster. I can’t be this far behind a brat like this.

Fei stood with her feet shoulder-width apart, face to face with Mushroom ten meters apart. Her arms were braced and ready to parry. Mushroom spread her legs wide, and stood in a defensive shape, waiting for Badger to signal.

Really?

“Begin.”

Mushroom rushed at Fei and threw a punch with her right hand. Fei blocked it to the side like Badger taught her. The impact stung Fei’s forearm. There was no time to worry about the pain as Mushroom was already throwing her next strike, this time with her left hand. Fei blocked it off again. By the fifth blow, Fei began to tire, and her forearms hurt. The sixth punch penetrated through Fei’s parry and struck Fei in the stomach. Fei jumped back and looked up at Mushroom, who stood laughing.

“I didn’t think it would be that quick. Come on; I wasn’t even throwing hard.”

“Again.”

Mushroom rushed at Fei before she could catch her breath. This time she was ready for her and held off for ten strikes before the eleventh found its mark, knocking Fei back again. Fei was tired already. She looked up at Badger.

“How long did I last?”

“About fifteen seconds.”

Fuck.

Fei improved more in the third round. The pain in her forearms was an afterthought at this point. By the twentieth strike, things felt like they were slowing down for Fei. Instead of focusing on parrying each blow, she began watching the next punch formed as she blocked. She watched Mushroom’s form closely. Mushroom was unsurprisingly elegant. She would start a strike with her forearm and palm facing up toward the sky, with her elbow at her hip. As she struck upwards, her arm would roll over, and by the time her fist reached impact, her palm and forearm were facing back down towards the earth. Mushroom used whichever arm she wasn’t striking with to shelter herself from a counter strike.

Fei watched as Mushroom brought her guard hand down slightly as she followed through.

An opening.

She let Mushroom’s next strike pass through her block and hit her in the upper abdomen. Fei jumped back in part due to the blow’s force but also adding a bit of embellishment.

I need her to let her guard down.

“Very good little Moth,” Badger clapped.

Mushroom grinned at Badger, “Not bad. Can I speed it up?”

“Not tonight,” Badger responded.

Mushroom rolled her eyes.

“Again.”

I’ll wait for twenty strikes before countering.

Fei was ready for Mushroom this time. She parried the predictable blows, one by one, counting upwards as she went. Fei felt slightly bad for breaking the exercise rules, but she needed to get better, faster. Fei wanted to learn, and doing was the only way.

Mushroom threw her twentieth strike, and Fei parried it away. Predictably, her guard hand lowered as she followed through. Fei had her right arm cocked low, with her palm to the sky emulating Mushroom’s form. Before Mushroom could react, Fei struck upwards, rolling over her arm as she went. Fei’s fist passed through the gap left by Mushroom’s dropping guard hand and hit the priest in the upper lip.

Mushroom didn’t step back. She touched her upper lip and nose, looking for blood. There was none; Mushroom simply laughed.

“Moth! What are you doing!” Badger yelled as she ran over to them.

Fei scowled, “Trying to learn.”

“You are learning already; that is not the exercise. Mushroom is your sparring partner; you must trust each other if you are both to grow. How can she trust you if you betray her like this?”

Badger looked upset, but Mushroom was still laughing, “It’s ok, I don’t mind. I’m happy to see she has a bit of fight in her.”

Badger stood in silence, staring at Fei. The eye contact she was making was aggressive and overbearing. Fei looked down to avoid it.

“Mushroom,” Badger turned to the beautiful priestess.

“Yes?”

“No rules this round. Our little Moth seems to want the shackles off.”

Fei looked up at Badger, “What?”

“This is your doing,” Badger walked back to her position at a distance, “Again.”

Mushroom rushed towards Fei, but two steps in, she lifted off the ground and flew through the air towards her. Fei moved to dodge off the attack, but Mushroom flashed a burst of light at her from her hands, blinding her for a moment. When she looked up, Mushroom was spinning in the air and kicked Fei with her back heel. Fei fell to the ground, but Mushroom was already on her. She was kicking Fei in the ribs, and Fei couldn’t get up. Over and over again, she kicked at her until Fei had no more energy to defend herself. Mushroom grabbed Fei’s collar and slapped her across the face so hard that her nose started to bleed down her face.

“Enough!” the Badger bellowed.

Mushroom held onto Fei’s shirt as she looked back to address the Badger, “I still have another thirty seconds at least!”

“Enough!”

Mushroom threw Fei down to the ground.

“You’re excused, Mushroom,” Badger said.

“It was a pleasure as always, Badger,” Mushroom grinned, “I look forward to our next session, little Moth.”

Fei watched from the ground as Mushroom scampered onto the ramparts that would lead her back to the central courtyard. She rolled over onto her back. She wanted to cry, but she held back the tears.

Not here. Not in front of Badger.

Fei could feel the blood trickling out of her nose and down her face but did nothing about it.

“Is that what you want? Is that the learning you want? Are we moving quickly enough for you?”

Fei did not respond. She began to choke up, and tears started to roll down her cheeks and onto the earth.

“Do you see how much you have to learn? Do you see how much more she knows already? And she’s young. She knows nothing. I understand you want to learn; I understand you’re hungry. But you must trust my judgment.”

Fei got up off the ground and sat cross-legged. She looked at Badger. Badger’s face was concerned and caring, not angry. Fei rubbed away the tears and looked away.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered.

Badger strode over and squatted next to Fei, her large frame enveloping her.

Badger grabbed her closest shoulder with a firm but caring hand, “That’s ok little Moth.”

“You threw me to a wolf Badger; she wanted to kill me. That was too much.”

They sat in silence for a long moment.

“I’m sorry, you’re right. That was too harsh,” Badger touched Fei’s chin and positioned it to force her to look at her, “But out there, outside that wall, those things don’t know right and wrong, or morals. They will be harsh. A wolf is nothing next to a shadow.”

Fei locked eyes with the Badger and spoke silently, “I know what harsh is. You don’t know what I’ve been through.”

“We’re all here because we ran from something. Each of those women, Mushroom, Hare, Frog, that western ghost Gourd, even Spider has a story. They’re stories that began before they arrived here and that ended when they took their name. One day you can tell me your story if you want to, little Moth, but having a difficult past doesn’t exempt you from hard work.”

Fei was exhausted. She knew the Badger was right. Instinctively Fei hugged her, and as she wrapped her arms around the Badger’s frame, she began to cry again. She thought of her family in Loghua.

Are you still alive? Do you wonder where I am?

Badger was initially motionless; it felt like she was withholding. Fei wanted Badger to hold her in return, and after a moment, she did. Her grasp was firm and her shoulders broad. Fei realized it was the first time she enjoyed another person’s embrace since hugging her family as a child.

Badger pulled back slowly and smiled at Fei, “I want to show you something.”

The two women walked up onto the ramparts and then back down into the courtyard. The night was cold as winds gusted high up on the mountain. The maple leaves had turned a brilliant red, and a few leaves even began to fall. It was a clear night, and the stars were out. There was no mist. The moon and stars lit the way, and Fei watched as red leaves danced in the wind. Fei could tell Badger was leading her back to the front of the tower. She had not been back inside since the night she met the Spider. Fei had not even seen the Spider since that night.

I wonder if she ever leaves the tower.

Oil lamps lit the outside of the imposing tower giving it a striking look against the mountainside. Light shone through the open doorway that led to the tunnel that took one into the depths of the mountain.

Fei felt the moist, cool air again as they entered the stone hallway that led to the twisting staircase. The hallway was not wide enough for them to walk side by side, so Fei followed the Badger now. As they entered the room at the end of the hallway, the Badger did not head for Spider’s quarters. Instead, the Badger walked to the top of the staircase and beckoned Fei to follow her down. Fei could barely contain her excitement as she quickly followed Badger down the twisting stone staircase.

They walked for a long while down the stairs. It took almost a minute. Fei looked to the sides of the staircase and realized it had not been the flame of an oil lamp that lit the stairs; instead, it was the same light Fei had seen Badger emit. It was just sitting there suspended in the air, dancing slowly in the still air of the tower.

That can’t be.

Finally, they reached a room. The room was stone and empty, aside from a small column in the center. The column was shorter than Fei, and something was resting on top.

A stone tablet?

Fei saw that the staircase continued downward even further into the mountain on the far side of the room.

“Take a look,” the Badger pointed towards the column and the tablet.

Fei’s heart was beating quickly. She wasted no time in running to the column in the center of the room. She had been correct. It was a stone tablet sitting on top of the pillar. Someone had carved symbols in varying positions into the stone. The symbols were foreign; she did not know how to read them. They were entirely different from Daming or Heguri characters.

Are these characters from the western continent?

Fei ran her fingers over the cold stone and looked back at the Badger.

“What is this?”

“It’s a language. It’s instructions.”

“Instructions? How can I read it? Can you read it?”

Badger chucked, “Slow down. I read it once; I can not now.”

Fei was puzzled, “How were you able to read it but not now? Did you used to speak this tongue when you were young?”

Badger shook her head, “Don’t assume. Think before you talk, little Moth.”

Badger walked over and joined her in front of the column.

“There is great power in this language. We don’t know where it comes from or who writes it. Over the years, priests found small fragments of the language that revealed themselves. Seven instructions have been memorized and captured in stone tablets like the tablets that lie here in this mountain.”

Thoughts raced through Fei’s head.

What does she mean by the word revealed?

“Seven tablets?”

“If you were to continue below, you’d find six more, just like this.”

“How is any of that… How is that possible?”

“Did you think it possible to float through the air or emit light from a staff? Did you think it possible for small beads of light to sway suspended in the air? Did you think it possible for shadow creatures to roam the mountains?”

Fei nodded, realizing there was still much she did not know about the Badger and the priests.

“But then, how did you read it?”

“That you will learn in time. Be patient little Moth, and trust me. For now, what you need to understand is that these characters are what we’re working towards. Little Moth, if you want the power to emit the light, glide through the air, fight demons in the night, and ultimately to defend yourself -- if you want all that, these tablets have the answers. Just be patient.”