Chen Feiyan III

the Monastery, Heguri Empire

the Shadow and the Spider

The first month at the monastery was straightforward. Chen Feiyan's schedule was simple. She woke at daybreak at the rooster's crow, ate breakfast in the dining hall, and joined her new sisters outside the walls. When Fei arrived at the monastery, the rice paddies on the side of the mountain flooded. Water covered the plants, and the glassy surface reflected her image when she looked into them. Her appearance was familiar. She had high cheekbones and a sharp rather than rounded chin rare for the Daming. Her skin was still white at first, revealing her previous status as Guo Xue's concubine, and her nose and face the slightest bit long. Despite the minor imperfections, even Fei could see she was pretty. It had been the source of trouble in her life.

As the first month passed by, the irrigated glassy terraces gave way to the rich green terraces that lit up the side of the mountain. The rice paddies cut into the mountain face like a jade necklace on an expensive woman's neck.

Even during the summer, a mist covered the monastery at night and in the early morning; it was her favorite hour. If she woke up right when the roosters began to crow, she would be early for breakfast, which gave her time to walk outside the gate into the fields alone. Badger was still sure she would grow tired of the work soon enough, but for now, the work and her surroundings were all she needed. The monastery was like something one of the stories she read to her sister Meifang as a child.

This morning she sat below a twisted pine overlooking the soy fields. The twisted pines were aptly named, their trunks meandered back and forth as they grew up into the air. They were barren for the most part, but the trees held a rich green canopy of needles at the top. They were mountain trees, and Fei had never seen one until she arrived at the monastery. The gnarled old pine she sat under now was thick and robust, and it must have been over twenty meters high. Near the top, the trunk twisted away from the mountain, giving Fei a shaded canopy to sit.

The soy and rice paddies were a brilliant green in the early morning light. She looked back onto the walled portion of the monastery. The small gate was open that led out to the farms from the protected walled monastery grounds. Fei came through it this morning like every morning. The priests opened it at sunrise and closed it at sunset, and it was against the monastery rules to wander outside the gate once the sun set. She grew accustomed to being the first one outside the gate after the sunrise, stealing views of the mountain range and the valley below before breakfast. The monastery was a place she only imagined existed as a child. With views from terraces high on the mountain, down into the valley, she even began to forget about the gluttonous and self-centered Guo Xue, the sharp Tao Fu, the foolish Duan He, the apathetic Zhong Bai, and the pathetic head servant Liu.

Breakfast was steamed egg with a little bit of sweet sauce. Sometimes the kitchens would have plain rice porridge for breakfast, pickled vegetables, boiled radish, or daikon, but the steamed egg seemed to be a staple. Fei made small talk with Hare as they ate. She knew a few simple words in the Heguri tongue now, but it was coming slower than she hoped. Fei could ask for food from the waitresses, and say hello and goodnight. For the moment, all Fei had were Hare, Badger, and Frog. Hare was talkative and friendly, and while Frog was quiet and a bit cold, she was also Daming which gave them some connections. They were starting to get along quite well, she thought.

The small company was enough. Fei wanted to see more of Badger, but she came to learn Badger was a busy person at the monastery. Badger knew not only all the workers but also all the priests. Even though her official responsibilities were specifically only to look after the work, it was clear Badger was an influential figure at the monastery. She set schedules, managed workers, counseled with the priests, told jokes, cleaned the yard, worked in the fields, cooked in the kitchens; it seemed like she was in many places at once. This morning, Fei didn't see her in the breakfast hall.

Maybe for lunch.

She sighed and poked at her half-eaten steamed egg with her chopstick.

New hands like Fei spent rotations throughout the monastery during their first six months. The idea was that they could get a feel for the type of work at the monastery, and Badger and the group heads could get a sense of their aptitude. There was a group head for the farms, animal husbandry, the kitchens, the cleaners, and the medical team. Fei was finishing her first rotation with animal husbandry. It wasn't glamorous work, but neither was her previous profession, and she preferred the pigs to Guo Xue. Importantly it kept her through the small side gate, outside the wall, and in the fields. The scenery of the fields cut into the mountain did not cease to amaze her. Working with the pigs was not so difficult, too. She cleaned the pens, refreshed the water trough, and refilled the food. The monastery kept their pens very clean, and she found the pigs surprisingly intelligent and endearing.

If only you weren't so delicious.

The summer sun was hot, and the air thick and humid even on the mountain. Fei's pale white skin began to brown after she arrived at the monastery. The plain brown wool pants that went to her knee protected her thighs, which gave her legs a funny look when she bathed. From her knee upwards, she maintained her ghostly pale complexion, while from the knee down, her legs had begun to weather and tan. Fei felt more like the woman she knew she was supposed to be. Weather and tan, she would look right at home back in Loghua.

That night at dinner, Fei looked for Badger, but she was missing from the dining hall again. She felt silly for being so needy, but Fei had been isolated for so long that having something that resembled a companion felt nice. Badger was calm and relaxing and reminded her of her father and older brothers. She always listened to what Fei had to say, and Fei liked feeling her strong hands on her shoulders. Badger had a habit of doing that. When she would say hello, she would grab hold of Fei's shoulders and give them a quick rub.

"Hello, my little moth," she pictured Badger saying to her with her big smile.

Fei quietly ate her steamed vegetables and finished her tea.

After dinner, Fei went for a walk outside the wall in the fields again. There was a breeze picking up, the mist was holding off, and she wanted to watch the sunset. She heard the bell to call everyone inside the walls; they would be closing the gate soon. But the sun had not quite set, and Fei sat still. She wanted to watch the sun go down below the horizon.

I'll only be a moment.

The sunset didn't let her down. As the sun fell lower, the twisted pines left gnarled shadows across the green paddies. The breeze made the temperature tolerable and chased away the flies. Fei had everything she needed: peace, scenery, honest labor, and food. And yet, she couldn't shake the nagging feeling. She felt lonely and reflected on her time so far.

I need to work harder at the Heguri tongue.

It had only been a month, she thought. She shouldn't be so hard on herself. There will be plenty of time to make friends. She projected herself forward thirty years to sitting with Hare and Frog as old ladies in the hall with leathery skin and white hair.

Perhaps by that age, we'll all be out of the fields and with the cleaning staff. That seems to be where they put the elderly.

She wondered what Hare might look like as an older woman, chatting with her pigeon-toed gait, with an old Frog rolling her eyes quietly in the corner of the room.

Fei's legs and arms ached from her long day of labor. She smiled. It was a good ache. She liked the sensation of finishing a hard day's work and letting her body relax. It was a new feeling when she arrived at the monastery, but she was growing accustomed to it. In animal husbandry, there were no expectations of work for her after dinner. That was her time. She felt she should study the Heguri tongue but was getting in the habit of finding a place to sit to enjoy the scenery and read one of the monastery texts. She did not miss the long nights sorting through texts at the library at Guo Xue's estate, desperately searching for an escape. Here Fei could read for pleasure again like in Loghua.

Fei felt her eyelids begin to droop as the breeze floated past once more. The sun had set, but the light was still visible over the horizon, leaving the fields in a hazy, dreamlike state. She let herself go and fell into a deep sleep under the twisted pine.

When Fei woke, it was some hours later, but she could not tell how long. It was pitch black except for small oil lanterns on the walls back over to her right. Mist covered the fields making her visibility low.

Shit. The gate must have been closed for hours now.

Fei slowly rose and stretched her arms.

I hope the priests on the wall know my tongue.

She went over the Heguri words for "hello," and "my name is Moth," and "I am a sister of the monastery" in her head. Suddenly Fei felt embarrassed.

Is there some sort of disciplinary hearing for breaking the rules?

She realized she did not know the penalty for staying outside the wall after the bells rang. While the sisters were all friendly, the priests could be cold. Fei oriented herself towards the lantern on the wall and began the walk through the dark to the gate. Luckily she knew where the paddies were, so she avoided stepping in the wet crops in the dark night.

As she walked, she whistled. It was an old tune she learned from her father in Loghua. Fei remembered how she loved to sneak out of her parent's home and sleep under the stars with her little sister Meifang. She would sing to little Meifang and tell her the stories she read in whatever texts she could find in Loghua or repeat the elders' stories. Fei remembered the look of adoration Meifang would give her. She wished that she could do that again tonight. She remembered the story of the captain and sea monster she invented for her younger sister. The creature had many legs, like a squid, and a mouth full of razor-sharp teeth. In the end, the captain tamed the beast and ruled the seas as a pirate lord. She based the creature from her story on the monsters that ruled the seas long ago. Stories told by the seafaring merchants stopping through Loghua often centered around the creatures.

Fei paused; there was a rustle behind her.

More wind?

The hairs rose on the back of her neck. It was very dark. Slowly she turned around to look back out onto the fields. She felt rooted in place.

Nothing.

But perhaps she could only just see nothing. It was pitch black. Suddenly Fei wondered what else might live upon this mountain. She heard of the mountain cats, but they weren't very big. There were wolves, but not here in southeast Heguri. They lived in Hulan regions or western Heguri on the other sides of the mountains. Fei did recall stories of leopards that prowled the cold high mountains.

That could be. But do I even hear anything?

Fei turned back toward the lanterns on the wall and began to walk quickly. Ten meters in, she instinctively began to trot. Fei felt the rocks under her feet and knew it was silly to run over the rough earth in the dark, but the hairs were upon her entire back now, and she was in flight mode.

And then she heard it, clearly this time. There was something else beyond the wall with her. She listened to the movements in the wet green terraces behind her. Fei turned around to look again, but still, there was nothing. It was too dark. Just as she went to continue running, she saw it. Far away, in a paddy perhaps over two hundred yards from her, two bright red eyes emerged from the darkness. How large the creature was, she did not know. It was too far away. But the glowing red eyes did not move.

Is it looking at me?

Fei was rooted in fear.

She stood motionless for what felt like a minute. The bright red eyes were motionless, too. They were so bright in the dark; she wondered what they could be.

Could that be a leopard?

Whatever the creature was, it began to move. Fei watched the eyes get closer and heard it sloshing through the water in the rice paddies. Fei turned and ran. She stumbled over the rocky earth in the dark as she sprinted towards where she hoped the gate stood. Once again, she found herself chased outside the walls. Her mind shot back to her childhood, running through the market in Loghua.

Fei yelled in her best Heguri, "Help! Help! Open the gate! My name is Moth, I am a sister of the monastery!"

There was no answer. Fei approached the wall and looked for a priest on the ramparts but could not make anything out in the dark. There was a small oil lamp next to the gate that led inside the courtyard. She reached for it and turned around to face the eyes in the darkness. They were gone. Fei breathed heavily. She could see nothing but could hear something moving ahead of her in the dark. Water from the paddies sloshed; it could not be far now.

If I call out again, it will hear me. That thing must already know I'm here.

"Help! Sisters! Help!"

The red eyes emerged again from the black, more prominent than before.

That can't be a leopard.

Suddenly the gate swung open from behind her, and a cloaked figure flew through the air. The figure was gliding gracefully like a leaf in the wind, its feet not touching the ground. It reminded Fei of how the priests flew on the first night. Since that night, Fei wondered if she was tired and seeing things or if their movements truly defied reason. On this night, there was no mistaking how otherworldly this figure moved.

That's not even possible.

Slowly the figure landed quietly between Fei and the oncoming bright red eyes. Whoever it was was broad-shouldered and tall. The cloak hid the woman's figure, but Fei didn't remember any of the priestesses being that large. They were small, nimble, and quick, like Fei. But this prominent figure glided just like the two cloaked figures did when she arrived on the first night.

The figure did not turn. The cloaked figure held out a large wooden staff and planted its bottom in the earth to her right.

The figure shouted into the darkness in perfect Daming tongue, "Go! Or I will send you back."

The red eyes stopped and did not move. There was no sound coming from the paddies.

I know that voice.

"Badger?"

The figure held up her left fist without turning, indicating for Fei to quiet, and held its gaze forward on the eyes. Two cloaked priests casually walked up from the now open gate and stood next to Fei, watching the Badger face down whatever creature watched from the dark.

Fei turned to them, "Aren't you going to help her? Do you see those eyes? Help her!"

Fei recognized the closer priest as Mushroom, the young priestess with long flowing hair. She slowly turned her gaze to her, "Quiet, Moth. You've caused enough trouble tonight."

Her voice was calm and authoritative. Fei took the note and turned back to watch Badger stare down the red eyes. The red eyes were not moving, and Badger slowly dropped her cloak to the earth beside her.

"You leave me no choice," Badger gracefully swung the wooden staff around her head and moved her body into a defensive position. She was anticipating an attack.

What came next was a noise so horrible Fei wanted to scream. Whatever the creature let out a cry; no, it was more of a shriek. The shriek was not loud but so piercing at the close distance that her ears felt like they were going to burst, and only slowly did it subside. Badger sat rooted in her spot, as did the priestesses watching on.

Slowly the sloshing water from the paddies began again, and the eyes moved closer. It was moving quickly, but through the night, Fei still could not make out a figure. The Badger stood rooted in the defensive position.

"Badger!" she cried, and Mushroom slapped her across the back of her head.

"Shut up, girl."

Closer and closer, the creature came, but still, no form emerged; only big, bright, red eyes. The sounds of the water sloshing gave way to gravel and rocks displaced underfoot. It must have been within twenty meters now and out of the paddies onto solid ground. Fei began to see the outline of the figure. The creature moved on two feet but was large. Its frame evaded definition and seemed to shift and move as it got closer. Its arms were massive and hung low, almost scraping the ground with clawed paws.

What is this?

Fei felt water trickling down her leg and realized she wet herself in fear. It didn't matter. The creature was almost on Badger.

Badger swung her staff in a flat motion across her body and planted it in the ground. Bolts of light flew out from the staff in all towards the creature. The creature roared and reared back as if allergic to Badger's light. As it raised, the light lit the creature up like a performer on stage, and the sight was horrifying. It was much larger than Badger, almost three meters tall, and the dark shape was indeed shifting and moving in the night. It looked more like smoke than solid flesh. And yet, its feet stood firmly; there must have been something tangible to its body. Its head was broad, with sharp black horns coming down and out the sides, and large pitch-black teeth filled its enormous mouth. It was a shadow in the night, a horrible thing of stories that could not be real.

As the shadow reared, Badger pounced on it, flying through the air as if the forces of the earth could not hold her body down. All the while, the staff stood rooted in its place somehow, illuminating the scene and keeping the shadow reared and at bay. As the Badger flew through the air, she drew a blade, and in a smooth motion, planted it in the neck of the creature. The creature let out the same quiet but penetrating high-pitched shriek, and Fei held her ears to keep the noise from penetrating her skull.

Badger did not stop; she flew past the beast and landed gracefully behind it in a crouch. She did not bother to turn around as the shadow collapsed into the earth. As fast as it had appeared from the darkness, its body began to dissipate into the ground and air. Within seconds, it was gone altogether.

Fei turned and saw more priestesses on the wall. All of them were out now. And yet, there were no workers. Badger turned back to the audience and began to walk towards the walls. She did not look at Fei but picked up her staff and cloak and addressed Mushroom on the way inside, "She's seen them; we need to bring her before Spider."

Mushroom smirked, "Come with me, little Moth."

Spider?

Mushroom and Badger walked Fei through the doorway of the central tower built into the mountain's side. She had seen only priests, not workers, enter the central tower in the month she had been at the monastery. Small oil lamps near the door illuminated only part of the tower in the dark of night. Fei could not see the light blue trim that she knew accented the impressive stone tower. When they entered the tower, the temperature dropped. Fei felt cool, moist air wash over her as they walked down a narrow stone hallway; they were walking into the depths of the mountain itself. The hallway opened up into a room with a high ceiling and staircases that traveled upward.

Those must be how they get to the fortification on the top of the tower.

A twisting staircase heading down stood in the middle of the room at the end of the hallway. Lights lit the stairs and whatever laid beneath glowed where the rest of the room was dark.

Mushroom walked Fei past the staircase and brought her through another archway on the room's far side. They continued walking down another hall for another minute until they reached a wooden door.

How was all this dug into the mountain? Who can carve this deep into stone?

When they opened the door, a modest room met them on the other side. Books filled the room, but they sat piled neatly on a soft floor of woven soft straw. There were tapestries on the wall and a few small paintings. Four oil lanterns lit the corners of the room, and a priestess sat in the middle. Her eyes were shut as she sat cross-legged. Fei did not recognize her from the monastery grounds, but she wore the same dress like all the others. Unlike the others, she was very old. The woman was fit and lean, with a frame like an acrobat and very wrinkled tan skin. Her hair was white with age, and while it was very long, she wore it tightly in a bun. Her posture was immaculate, and she showed no signs of her years.

The woman opened her eyes to address Badger and Mushroom. She looked at Fei and spoke in the Heguri tongue, and Mushroom responded. Fei tried to follow along but could not understand.

Spider closed her eyes again, and they were silent for a moment. It was sometime before she spoke next.

Is she of what to do with me?

"Am I correct to not speak Heguri with her yet?"

This time she spoke in the Daming tongue. Mushroom responded, "She's a slow learner, yes."

Spider waved Mushroom off, "If I ask a yes or no question, I don't need elaboration. As always, I appreciate parsimony when you speak, Mushroom."

She looked at Badger, "What to do with her then? She's seen one of the demons, and yet she can not join us. Look at her. She's too frail. Too fragile, too small. But most importantly, not Heguri."

That response annoyed Fei.

I'm not any shorter than you or any of the others, you old bat.

Spider looked at her as if she had heard the insult. She addressed Fei directly now, "We may be small, but we're strong, and we can fight. Tell me, do you train in the arts?"

Yes or no question, don't elaborate.

"No."

"Tsk," the Spider sighed and shook her head, "Useless. Can you read?"

"Only in my tongue."

Spider nodded her head thoughtfully as if that wasn't a terrible answer. She shut her eyes again. This time the quiet was longer, perhaps for close to five minutes. Badger and Mushroom stood silent as if this was normal.

Finally, Spider spoke, "Badger, you will take her as your protege and train her. You're not Heguri, and you're getting old. Who knows when we'll need to replace you. She can read, so we know she's not stupid."

Badger stepped forward in protest, "I have many responsibilities as it is. As you noticed, she doesn't know how to fight. Training in the arts alone takes years to—"

Spider cut her off with a smooth wave of her hand.

"No matter, you will train her. It will take time. But we have time. It's that, or we will have to do away with her. Your decision."

"Spider, I can't do away with her, she…"

"She what?" the Spider cocked her head at Badger.

"Nothing," Badger stepped back a step, resigned to her fate.

Fei's heart raced.

How did she know how to fly through the air? Or emit light from her staff? Does this mean I can learn these things?

Fei wanted to learn it all; her thirst for knowledge reinvigorated. Fei often thought back on how many hours she poured into the library at Guo Xue's estate or how many stories she read as a child. It never tired her in the moment. Reading was exhilarating when she was working towards a goal.

Spider closed her eyes again and motioned them away. They exited single file, first Mushroom, then Fei, and finally Badger. As Fei took a few steps into the hallway, she heard the Spider call out.

"Badger, you were not on the wall tonight, were you?"

"No."

"And yet, you were there just in time to save our little Moth."

Does she know my name?

It was a moment before Badger responded, "Yes."

"And how, may I ask?"

Badger paused again before she spoke, "I am… I was worried for her. I saw her leave the gate at dusk."

"Interesting. Little Moth, do you know the story of the Moth and the flame?"

She knew it, of course, but it felt like the Spider wanted to tell the story, so she stood quiet.

"There once were two moths; the elder and the younger. They loved each other very much. One day the younger saw a flame in the light. It wanted to know what it was, so it flew close. The elder caught it and told it not to fly so closely that the flame would consume the younger. So the younger listened. But every day, the younger Moth watched the flame. It grew cold to the elder and forgot its love as the flame was all-consuming. One day it could not resist the pull of the light."

Fei cut in, "So it flew into the flame and died. The end."

She had heard stories like these dozens of times as a child in Loghua.

The Spider was quiet, "It flew into the light, yes, but the elder spotted it and told the other moths that they needed to save it. The elder still cared for the younger deeply despite the coldness it had shown the elder. The moths chased the young Moth to the flame, but it reached the flame first. When it touched the light, the light shattered and exploded, killing the younger and the others. Only the elder lived to tell the story so that we know it today and grieve for its losses."

Fei looked back at Spider, her eyes focused. Spider's face looked puzzled.

The moon was bright; between the moon and the various torches and oil lamps at the monastery, the courtyard was lit dimly in the mist. Badger sat next to Fei on a stone bench under one of the massive maple trees. It was a warm night, but the air was gusting on the mountain, which gave them some relief. It must have been late by now, perhaps well past midnight. Fei looked straight ahead, embarrassed by the trouble she had caused Badger.

At the same time, her mind was racing. She imagined herself floating through the air like Badger or harnessing whatever magic these priestesses were concealing that let them expel light. She wanted it all.

Do they all know how to do that? Is it just Badger?

"What were you doing outside the walls after dark little Moth?"

Badger's voice was low and calm. She was looking at Fei now with her forgiving eyes.

"I just… it was nice out. I didn't know why the rules were in place. I didn't fall asleep on purpose."

"Usually, it's ok," she sighed, "But we see them more and more now."

"The shadow?"

The Badger waited for a moment before responding, "Honestly, we don't know what they are. Spider or one of the sisters may tell you otherwise. But we don't know anything for sure."

"They're like the demons, from a children's story."

"They are, yes. In Heguri culture, there are ancient myths of demons that come from the northeast. Many of the lord's castles here face that direction."

"The farms are northeast of here."

Badger nodded, "Does that make these demons the creatures from the myths? I don't know. The creatures from the Heguri legend often wear loincloths or carry clubs. As you can see, our friends are missing those details."

Fei nodded.

"But you know how to defeat them, Badger. You weren't concerned."

"Yes, we do know how to beat them. What I did tonight was no different than what hundreds of others have done over hundreds of years. One on one, they're straightforward. Dumb things are scared of a little light."

Fei let the comment settle.

Hundreds of others. This place has been here for hundreds of years, with the shadows coming all the while.

She wasn't sure she completely understood the implications.

Badger went on, "Fundamentally, it's why we're up here, little Moth. The monastery exists to ward off the shadows. They emerge high up on this mountain in the same spot, northeast of the walls. We don't know why. We don't know what they want. For hundreds of years, generations of priests sat at the monastery. They emerge and attack; we fight them off and keep them away from civilization below."

"Is it always just one?"

"Yes… well, no. It was. We've seen more recently. There were no documented occurrences of more than one appearing until six months ago. We also used to see them in the summer rarely. That doesn't seem to matter anymore, either. They're coming at a faster rate. We do not know why."

Fei was quiet for a moment. It was all so exciting. She should be afraid, she thought, but she was not. Her heart raced again.

"Does anyone below know? Do either of the Empires know?"

"To the best of our knowledge, our cover has held. We pass ourselves off as a monastery devoted to an old unpopular god hoping that we won't be a threat to the Heguri court at Tobe. At the same time, we need to arm ourselves. At the very least, they know we buy weapons," she put her big rough hand on Fei's knee, "listen, little Moth, if you're not up for this, you should run. Fly through the forest before morning comes. They won't track you."

"But Spider said I know too much."

"We talk a hard line to dissuade desertion, but realistically it happens. If you were to start telling people in the towns below that there were women warrior monks fighting monsters on the side of a mountain, would anyone believe you?"

She thought for a moment. It was true; she probably could escape now. But where would she go? She could not return home, and she did not have the Heguri tongue. What would she do to survive? No, Fei did not want to escape. She wanted to learn to fly and harness the light. She wanted to be mentored by Badger.

The Badger went on, "Training will not be easy. And given your starting point, it will take many years of patient work. We will need to be methodical. Are you up for it?"

"I don't want to go anywhere; I want to stay here with you, Badger."