After having affirmed what I will be forced to be doing for the next infinity, I slunk back into my mind, away from the control screens.

From a sickly and dying human on Earth to a machine slave of another race from space…

Ladies and gentlemen; Monday…

(in case you didn’t notice, Author hates mondays with a passion that blots out the sun)

According to the data available to me, there are currently about 50 A.I. remaining throughout the entire Kretin empire. Of those, 34, 35 if you include me, are deployed in production facilities, producing ships to maintain the Kretins ever-expanding empire, and basic supplies for their population. Food is produced by slave-power, though most also goes through a production facility for processing.

Btw, guess i never said how large the Kretin empire is exactly. Well, first of all, LARGE. They are from the Milky Way galaxy, though not from the same “tentacle” as us humans. They originate from somewhere near the middle of the galaxy. This also fostered the belief that they are above all else, because the flippin’ galaxy was rotating around ‘em.

Over the years, they managed to conquer most of the middle, and then started spreading out the “tentacles”. They already have 1 full tentacle under their command, mostly due to it being immensely underpopulated and space being unusually “firm” around there. That led to them being able to “jump” further than usual and they managed to take it in about a 1200 years.

Colonies of Kretins exist here and there throughout that arm, but they are quite small, mostly due to a lack of supplies. Those are mostly powered and run by slaves.

Interesting fact, the number of slaves pr. Kretin is a stunning 5. The reason why they haven’t rebelled yet is a mixture of binding technology, blackmail and brute force exerted through a horde of simple robotic guards. Not A.I.s, simple stuff.

Other than that tentacle, they Kretins are fighting on the 3 out of 4 known fronts. There may be more, as the Kretins have not explored the entire galaxy yet. The fourth front where the Kretins are not fighting is actually situated deep inside the Kretin empire. A “small” kingdom consisting of about 500 stars populated by a race called the Luxo.

Its situated somewhere near the middle of the galaxy. Apparently, the Kretins once tried conquering that kingdom. They sent a fleet of 30000 ships, and not a single one returned. The Kretins state: “The Luxo, are a race worthy of our friendship”.

Or, in normal-speak, “They scare the piss out of us and we'd rather spend our ships on something else”.

The other 3 fronts which the Kretins are fighting on, are against a federation called “Molah”, another Empire called “Isk”, and finally a coalition of many different races named “The Shuskark alliance”.

The Molah are effectively Goblins with an addiction for shiny stuff. Their reason for fighting the Kretins are that they will take all the shinies.

The Isk can be described as Faceless. No defining features what-so-ever, very tall, towering even. Can communicate through telepathy.

The Shuskark alliance is too diverse to accurately describe. Though they are some of the most tenacious enemies facing the Kretins, they are actually currently losing the war against the Kretins, which is rather sad.

Earth actually happened to be on the outskirts Explored Kretin space (more accurately, one of the tentacles, not currently embroiled in war) and our existence was picked up by accident. We have been sending out radio waves into space for well over a century, and they were bound to hit something.

Well, while I was off explaining the current situation of galactic politics, we arrived at our destination.

A small frigate…

What? You thought a small fleet of about 100 ships would bring one of the most vital and crucial facilities know to the Kretins off on an exploration to unknown territory? Moreover, an unmanned and uncontrolled facility, which is about as usefull as a pile of rock and metal? You are a funny man, you know that!?

Well, off on a fun interspatial trip i go.

After docking on the frigate, it immediately began starting up its warp-drive. Within minutes we were farther away from the solar system than any human or human-made object had ever travelled. I originally felt melancholic about leaving my home behind, but remembering what had happened turned the sadness into a dull ache and a burning hatred against the Kretins for what they had done.

Within a few days of travelling, we finally reached our true destination. a massive, planet-shaped space station covered in dust orbiting a Kretin-controlled planet called Monx.

Btw. you might wonder why there was no further tests or examinations on me? Well, currentday Kretins are all retards, and are too arrogant to even bother.

Morons, all of ‘em.

Well, describing the station:

1): HUGE, about ⅛ of the moon.

2): Spherical, planet-shaped. Looks a bit like Jupiter or Saturn, except for the rings being massive docking platforms, which even extend into the station.

3): Seems to be made entirely out of some sort of metal, though that might not even be entirely true. I can honestly imagine the ancient Kretins taking a small moon and turning it into a ship.

Other than, imagine a slighly smaller version of a Death Star. Speckled with cannon towers, lasers, drone-bays, docking ports for small frigates and mining vessels, etc. Effectively a moving fortress. Originally, before also being used for producing civilian goods, these stations were used to minimize the length of supply lines and thus had to be able to defend themselves.

But with a sharp decrease in Kretin intelligence, they were slowly converted for multi-purpose. They can no longer produce massive warships, which honestly kinda sucks. The blueprints of them look absolutely awesome.

Inside many of the docking bays lay fleets of mining vessels, defence drones, and some Ore carriers. Most is covered in dust though. The Kretins basically let these things rust away while they are looking for A.I. to man them, which again, is f*cking stupid of 'em.

Time for thinking and explaining is over though, as the ship I was on began preparing to land.