《Life as a mercenary (Abandoned)》Ch 11 - Me versus me
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“I name you, Saya.”
I waited for Ember and Wayne’s approval of the contract, spirits already contracted to someone have a certain degree of power over later contracts and may weaken them if they do not agree. I waited for several moments but they did not respond, only darkness filled my mind as not even Saya’s voice made it through. Now that I think about it though…I can’t even feel my body anymore, everything is just a void as my consciousness seemingly floats inside it. “He’s here” a cold detached voice rang out, piercing into my thoughts but seemingly directing their words to someone or something else. “Finally…to give us such an opening…we’d be fools to not make use of it!” a second voice makes itself heard, attempting to consume my mind and solicit my soul into a burning rage. “For years we’ve waited, for years we have been caged and have endured. Your weakness strengthens us, your fall will be our rise…”. Suddenly the darkness began to gain colour and swirls, somehow I was engulfed in nausea as within moments my vision returned completely although it took me a bit to adjust it. When the sickening feeling and nausea left, I looked up and opened my eyes. “This isn’t possible…Why here…” I stood up as I stared at my surroundings, I was standing in my old home town and it was exactly as I left it. Rubble that were once buildings grew in a pattern as wide paths of concrete divided them, I stared with mouth agape at what simply couldn’t be possible. My home…My house…lay perfectly standing amidst the surrounding destruction, a perfectly normal two storey building with a triangular roof. I was shaking uncontrollably, who wouldn’t be? I began walking towards the house, every step echoing in my mind.
When I reached the door I could hear laughter inside, nothing sinister but the childish innocent kind of laughter. I forgot breathing somewhere in between standing outside and opening the door, as I entered the familiar home a warm feeling came flooding my way that might as well have been a cold chill up my spine. “Pa! We’ll be late for school!” a young red haired child runs down the stairs to my left, he notices me and gives me a smile worthy of an angel. “I’m coming! Calm down!...Oh you’re here?” a man looking around his thirties with similar features to the child walks into the corridor and down towards the entrance where I stood, he turned around for a moment “Babe! Liana! He’s here!” he then turns back and faces me with a warm smile. Behind him two others walked out of the side room which I knew to be the kitchen, a beautiful woman with long brown hair along green eyes and a young girl having fiery red hair with similar green eyes. “Bro!” the young girl ran up to my side and had to rise to her toes to hug my waist, “Matt…” the woman looked warmly at me as she settled onto her husband’s arm. “My family…How…What…” tears streamed down my wide open eyes, a liquid I had thought to have ran out of long ago. My whole body was shaking, multiple emotions I had kept blocked suddenly began rushing through me all at once. Before my mind could settle on anything I glanced out of the corner of my eye, their forms dissipating and disappearing into dust. Everything seemingly exploded in dust as it changed form, the once standing house was now layers of rubble and smoke. “No…Why…” I turned to look away only to see what I had hoped to never see again, his corpse lying still and half eaten on the side of the road. I looked away and back at the house only to find myself laying on the ground looking under the collapsed roof, two greens stared back at me lifelessly “It’s all…So real…” I stood up almost immediately.
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“Poor broken soul…One moment you had it all and then nothing at all…” the cold and detached voice spoke from behind me making me turn, I stared into the eyes of what looked like me but was someone else…something else…It gave me a cold and empty smile ”You had it all…and then they came and took it all away…but what could you have done? A young and weak child…with nobody to look after you…” he raised an arm as if presenting something, distorted breaths and snorts began echoing into my ears as I turned to look upon the young red headed boy once more. He lay kneeling on the ground with blood trailing down his forehead and a gun in clenched in his small hands, tears and snot plastered on his depressed face. He looked up at the sky and lifted the barrel to his chin, tears falling down the pistol as rain began to buffet the land and him as well. I stood there and watched as he tried to pull on the trigger…pulling as hard as he can while trembling. A bang echoed throughout the town as blood splattered out of the little head and his small body fell backwards, a pool of blood instantly forming under him. I buckled over kneeling trying my hardest to let out what ever beasts rampaged in my stomach only for nothing to come out, I shakily rose to my feet as I stared down at the young corpse. “You have seen it with your own two eyes now…The truth…This body we lay inside…It’s owner has long died.” I turned towards the frigid voice, sadness the only way to explain its expression. I took a step back and summoned fort both Ember and Wayne “What are you…” I raised both aethers at it and it glared back expressionless with eyes wide open. “Your ploy has failed, Despair” the second voice from earlier echoed through the town as if formless, “No!...He! Please Hatred! Give me more time!” the one apparently called Despair began to tremble and walk backwards while glancing all over the place.
“You have lost your use, your visions have caused the damage I needed. It is my turn now” the second voice called Hatred spoke from Despair’s body as it began to instantly bend and shake at impossible angles until it stopped arched back facing the sky “Hello…Other.” It straightened up and stared at me, madness danced in it’s eyes as it’s gaze seemed to pierce through my soul. Hatred’s expression was wide eyed like Despair’s but a glint of insanity shone within them and it’s mouth curved in a devilish grin. “I applaud you Other, you still stand after being shown “That”. Truly you are broken beyond repair! Come now…Let me replace what is unfixable.” Ember and Wayne appeared in its hands and the fight began, a barrage of projectiles and blasts each trying to over step the other or outnumber the other. Not a single projectile went through the other’s barrage as we simultaneously fired away Ember at a rapid rate and Wayne at a calculative rate. I was scared, I was confused, I was depressed but above all… I was enraged that these things would dare mess with my past! “What are you! Why did you show me those things!? Why show me that lie of an ending!? Why are we here!?” we began moving while keeping up our barrages, seemingly never running out of mana. “I guess you are about to disappear anyway…I will humour you. We are your…pent up emotions shall we say! Although Despair is now gone…since I merged with him and all…Year over year we’ve collected and grew within the soul fragments you tore away until we gained our own consciousness! The moment you let down your defences to contract with a third we struck! Despair was supposed to drop you into…despair, to make you give up and make you easy prey for me…The fool underestimated your bluntness! The years you spent tortured…weren’t for naught I guess! We are you! But I have been there since the start! All your pain…All your anger…All your hatred! I sucked it all in! I AM YOU! ” we continued to run faster and faster. “You’re me?...How is that possible…?!” bullet for bullet, shot for shot, I faced off against what was apparently myself. Every step, every shot, every turn, he copied me more than perfectly. He seemed to…think ahead from copying me…as if he knew every step I’d take before I even began taking it!
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I began being pushed back, first it was a stray shot going through my barrage and then it was a scar down my cheek and suddenly we stopped completely as I found out pain was still very real wherever I currently was. We stared each other down, this wasn’t no honourable fight between two warriors, no battle for survival between beasts, but a stare down between two deadly gunmen. The next shot would mean everything, the next shot could be either of our ends, if we could even die in here that is. We began to sway, left to right to back to front as mist covered our bodies and our eyes never leaving each other’s. We walked in a circle, continuously awaiting the other’s move and their misstep. Seven shots fired and only a single one hit its mark. “Tell me Other, why do you keep holding on? I am you and I can tell…The pain you carry is holding you at the edge of insanity. Why do you fight? Why do you strive so hard to keep going on? You have nothing left, no one left and no home to return to. What soldier keeps fighting a war that ended years ago? When the enemy is caged and your allies are already dead? What do you have to gain from fighting beasts of another world while ignoring the ghosts of your past?! Why not just give in…to the anger…to the hatred…” He looked down at me as I lay there kneeling, coughing up blood from the wound in my stomach. I sat my head on the ground while grinding my teeth “THEN WHAT!? MASSACRE THE SURVIVORS OF A BYGONE WAR!? LOSE MYSELF TO MADNESS!? END MY OWN SUFFERING!? YOU SAY YOU’RE ME! YOU SAY YOU HAVE LIVED THROUGH THE SAME SUFFERING I HAVE!...Oh…But you haven’t…” I rose to one knee “You simply watched, you never felt. You never truly lived through what I have, so dare ask me again. Why do I keep fighting? Why do I keep striving to live?!” I forced myself upwards and glared at his empty expression “You say you have taken my hatred…But you are nothing more than a fragment of my rage…” his expressionless façade curved into a mad grin as a drop of sweat fell down his forehead, I take a step forward “Do you know what a bullet feels like?” I dropped both aethers “No but you have taken enough bullets to know…” he answered sincerely and began raising his Ember.
“I knew it…You are nothing more than a fragment.” Multiple shots fired and all hit their target, with inhuman speed I had lowered my posture and gained hold of Ember with both hands. With eyes worthy of a predator I came down on my prey, the mentality forcefully hammered into my brain I couldn’t switch away from. Hatred fell backwards onto the ground, a pool of blood forming around him. I straightened myself and stepped towards the corpse, an expression of surprise plastered on his face. “So this is what I would have ended up like, if I had given in to my hatred…But why was he so…undisciplined…I could see the fear in his eyes…I still can. Ignis, Tempre answer me. Where are you two? Where am I?” I could feel their consciousness, as if I could hear their thoughts within my own. “Show your selves or will you also incur me?!” with that their humanoid forms appeared to my left, Ember stood there with her expression empty while not making eye contact with me and Wayne standing behind her his expression pale as he hid. “We’re here…Matt…Please forgive us…we slipped up…” she seemed to stare off at Hatred’s corpse, grimacing. I stepped toward them causing Wayne to cover himself more behind her “Explain.”, she turned her head and looked at me while never focusing on my glare “Those two were…” she began to whisper “EXPLAIN Clearly!” blood continued to drip from my wound but I ignored it, I made sure to not get hit directly In the stomach or any actual organ using barriers under my flesh. “The soul fragments used in the aether binding…the first time you bound with me all those years ago…One of the fragments began absorbing your anger…your hatred…your negative emotions…I ignored it…I saw it as a way to keep you sane…” she glanced back at Wayne “When they destroyed our old aethers…our contract changed and the soul fragments joined back with the rest of your soul…but we kept the emotions collected in my fragment to keep you from doing something insane…Then Tempre began feeling your despair…the years you spent after the war all alone…researching…creating aether tech… he felt that pain and used his fragment to collect it and stop you from losing yourself in it…Somewhere along the line…somehow…they gained their own consciousness….” She crossed her arms around her chest and looked down at the ground.
“You…” I drop the aether and move forward grabbing both of them and forcing them into my chest as I held the back of their heads to it “I’m sorry…I didn’t mean to…” Ember held on to my shirt while Wayne just stood there his face by my wound, both of them shaking “We are sorry…sorry…it’s our fault…they could have killed you…master…its our fault…” Tears formed on Wayne’s face, “It’s okay now…what you did you did to help me…I told you before didn’t I?...Whatever happens…It will always be us three…until I die…I’ll never leave you behind…” these two had been with me almost from the start, they had been with me through thick and thin. How could I ever blame them for anything? Why was my anger searing me so much right now? Was it because I saw my family dead in front of me again? Was it because I almost literally killed myself? I don’t know…but we stood there for some time…until Ember broke off and spoke “You should go…they are worried sick about you…” she pushed away “They?...Ah…Where are we anyway?” I let go of them. “This is your soul realm…the inside of your soul…a place your consciousness builds up from your experiences and personality…” Wayne answered me although he hadn’t moved away from me and just stood there covering his face with my shirt, I lay my hand on his hair and he slowly stopped trembling. “My soul huh…” I look around the rubble and smoke, the cold stale air filling my lungs as the rain kept plummeting down on us. “What happened here is called soul defragmentation, the soul fragments you tore away are starting to merge back into the main body. Your soul is healing itself but because of that your emotions will be in disarray…be careful…Once the healing is complete… this place will also change.” Ember solemnly looked at me, the empty expression of hers I was used to seeing. “It’s best you go now…” Wayne looked up and into my eyes “Wake up”. My vision instantly went dark as my mind blacked out into a void again.
My senses returned and I began opening my eyes, I was laying on a bed facing the roof. “Finally you’re up, do you know how long you’ve been asleep!?” Anabel glared down at me. “Hours?...” her brows furrowed “Days, four to be exact. What the hell were you thinking!? You entered a soul journey with the Fae!” she was steaming and grinding her teeth, “Ana was very worried!” Ell looked at me from her chair with an oblivious expression. “I..I…WE! We were worried!” Anabel turned burning red as she turned to shout at Ell who stared back at Anabel with very…focused eyes “Hhmmmmm…”. “Don’t look at me like that! And you! Say something!” she glared at the captain who was lazing around on another chair with the others who were playing with some cards. “Well it would be great if you could explain what happened…would make writing my report easier.” The captain sighed and turned his chair to face me, I stood up into a sitting position on the bed and then noticed Saya waking up on my lap. “Ma…Master?...” she wiped her eyes and looked up at me, her expression one of confusion. I sighed and began to explain what I could, being forced into my soul realm after lowering my inner defences to make a contract. Fighting the soul fragments and winning, my soul beginning to heal for some reason and the dungeon’s mana it still was processing and integrating. I told them everything except my conversation with my two oldest friends. “Well that is…disappointing…alright then cry-babies” he looked at Anabel and Saya who really seemed on the verge of tears “Since we’re all up and…” he glances at Ell “Not freaking out…Let’s go check on the situation outside. Oh yeah you probably don’t know…” He got up and yawned “The whole damn area is collapsing into the caverns left behind after the Dungeon died…The Dark Elf’s coalition of mages is trying to take care of it.”
One by one, we walked out of the room and then out of the house which turned out to be the old goblin’s. The scene that presented itself when I walked out of the door was one of insanity, the trees bent at strange angles as the very ground seemed to be falling apart. Green energy passed through the ground keeping it together as Elven mages with dark purple skin chanted together, each standing about twenty meters apart for as far as I could see in each direction. “What are they doing?” I ask the question at Leya who was closest to me, “Continuous earth and enhancement magic to keep the ground together” She sighed and suddenly looked up at the sky, “What’s wrong?” I notice her change and look at the others, both Lia and Ell seemed to notice something in the sky as well as,Ell was staring intently at the sky and Lia was glancing at each direction as if being hunted. I also saw that the Dark Elf mages also seemed to sense something, I tried to follow their gaze and slightly noticed movement in the clouds. Something or rather someone was flying at high speed in our direction, before I could even try and guess at who it was the humanoid form sped up and landed in the forest opening with a crash and forced the Dark Elves to curse and fully focus on their magic. “Kekekeeke!! So where is this Dungeon you’ve told me about, Carl?!” Zeaxar was standing inside a small crater while dusting himself off, a bright smile plastered on his face. “Si….Sir…The Dungeon was…Eliminated days ago…” Jerrald stepped forward and saluted, “Carlos…hasn’t made a full report yet…”. Zeaxar made a complete 180 as his smile immediately turned into a frown “Eliminated? Late reports? I flew here and all I find is disappointment?! And for fucks sake what’s wrong with the ground!?” the earth under him seemed to slightly shift as one of the Dark Elves almost lost his balance due to Zeaxar’s shouting and aura leaking out “Ah right…Sorry about that fella…Kekeke” He chuckled as he noticed what was going on with the mages.
“I guess that is what I get for rushing over a summary report…” He sighs and walks out of the crater and towards us just as we hear some noise behind us, the goblin had come out to see what all the ruckus was about but with one glance at Zeaxar he simply sighed and went back in grumbling something that sounded like “Nope…Never again…Fuck that…”. “Hhmm? Kid what happened to you? You seem…Different.” Turning around I found Zeaxar staring me down, I put on a stern expression “Soul defragmentation…” Saya was the one to answer him though. Zeaxar sighs “You humans mess with dangerous magic…Wait…Who are you?” Zeaxar crosses his arms and bends down to look closer at Saya who was sitting on my shoulder. “She’s….Contracted with me…She was the Dungeon’s Fairy, it seems that Dungeons and Fairies make contracts to benefit each other…This Dungeon though did not respect that contract and broke it to use her as a mana core.” With my answer he seemed to ponder over something for a moment and then sighed again “Interesting…” he then glanced at the Dark Elves and an almost…evil…grin crept up his face. “Well I’m off to do some…business…Carlos I will expect a full report by today.” After the captain nodded in acknowledgment he turned around and walked over to one of the mages, starting a conversation with them while pacing around them. “What’s he doing?…” Anabel seemed worried as each of the mages looked like they were about to collapse and Zeaxar’s earlier expression did not bode well, Lia’s ears perk up “Tsk…He’s making a deal with the mages…Yeap there he goes walking towards the head mage…and the head mage has tears coming down now…Hold on to something….” She quickly turned to hold on to the fence behind us. The ground began to shake as an incredible amount of mana flowed out from Zeaxar who had both hands raised up in front of him, we held on to the fence for our dear lives as the ground seemed to swirl and merge.
The “earthquake” came to a halt and all of the mages fell to their knees or arses breathing heavily, Zeaxar lowered his arms and nodded at the head mage. He then knelt down and seemed to be charging up another magic but “Sir, wait!” Jerrald spoke as loud as he could to get his attention, Zeaxar raised an eye brow and before we knew it he was in front of us “What is it?”. Jerrald turned to me “Kid, the book.” I stare at him for a moment and then it came back to me “The book!” raising my arm I pour mana into my right glove, the Delver’s Guide book appeared in my hand “Sir you should take a look at this…” I hand him the book and he takes it, reading through the pages with abnormal speed he displays multiple expressions “What…How…Son of a…” he closes the book and an enraged expression flows over his face. He glares at the book for a couple moments and then raises his head and looks at us with a mad grin “Pack up ladies…The survey corps is leaving tonight!...” he turns and starts walking away “I’m not letting that bastard stay ahead!” with a sudden flash he disappears and leaves a crater behind. Dumbfounded we stand there glancing at each other until Ell breaks the ice “So no dinner?...” with a genuinely sad face she crosses her arms, Leya raises her hand to her face and sighs “Precenturians…”. “But…the report…Fuck…Lia ready the caravan…We’re leaving…” We follow the Captain and Lia to the ship and sort our things to leave, suddenly I notice something was missing “Anabel? Where’s the staff we got from the Dungeon?” she just stood there staring at the forest “Lost it…” I stared at her not comprehending “Excuse me? What?...” she turns and walks past me “Don’t…I…” she kept walking away red as a tomato, I turn and look at Ell who was helping Lia check the craft for damage due to the quakes “Ana dropped it after falling over a skeleton when we came to find you…I don’t remember the rest…I think I heard screaming…and maybe crying…”. I did not push the conversation further and we all got inside, while readying myself for the craft’s teleportation I starting thinking to myself. I felt strange, after having my emotions so limited for as long as I can remember I could finally express myself like any other of my kind…Annoyance, Anger, Doubt, Regret, Worry and many other things I never really felt all that much of unless pushed to the edge with anger like back in the exams. I then felt the air around us shift as the caravan went through its teleportation magic.
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Somewhere in existence at some point in time
A dark valley of dried land and dead trees lay surrounding a lonely hill, every meter one climbed they could spot bony limbs and weapons lying on the ground. At the very top a figure stood alone staring down the dead landscape “Heh…Sure taking your sweet time… There is still many worlds out there requiring a visit …” a grey eye accompanied by a purple eye kept staring down the hill as his half white and half purple hair seemed to rise upwards, no wind rustled it but only his raw aura effecting every single object in his surroundings including himself. Suddenly reality in front of him seemed to break as a rift opened to another unknown world “Hurry up now you two…can’t leave everyone back “home” waiting…” the rift grew to a hundred times his size as the earth began to quake and the wind picked up, two lumbering beasts climbed the hill. One flew down and its form shifted in darkness till a beautiful black haired woman with fierce red eyes stood next to him, the other ran on four legs and seemed to shrink until a beastly man approached them. “We don’t even know where they will show up first, no point in rushing.” The beast like man spoke as the three entered the rift, it stayed open for a couple moments until dense purple aura flowed out and seemingly forced it to close.
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Author; Mysterious….Remember to rate and maybe comment xD!
Edited by; Birse
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