Brushing off my likely bruised butt, and definitely bruised ego i give a reluctant grin at the jubilant crowd around me and try to holster Belle before I think about how fast I could be the one laughing if only a loud pop would ring out and echo through these reverberating halls, and how easily said pop could be supplied.

Not like i’ve never been laughed at before, i work in a warehouse and guys laugh at guys fuck ups; we’re all the FNG at some point of other. Still, it's not really a feeling to get used to, and certainly not one I enjoy.

After what feels like more time than would be strictly polite, the chuckles die down and the employees, store owners, and monk-types regain a semblance of professionalism, but the overall effect is still ruined by the mirth dappled among the group, disappearing and resurfacing like litter bobbing in the middle of an ocean. The only face that remains rather emotionless is the mask of the asshole wearing the lizard costume. fuck, that looks expensive. There has to be some sort of automation in there or maybe just clever puppeteering, but wow, A plus for effort and attention to detail, looks like a movie prop. Still, the body language on this guys gives away that he had a good chuckle in, even through the suit he's wearing.

The man in the lizard suit composes himself and once again reaches out to hand me the bottle he's been holding so i go ahead and take it, open, and empty it, throwing caution to the wind to speed this process as quickly as I can. This one tastes different, spring water and popsicle sticks, and has a mouthwash burn down my throat. Lizy-liz approves judging by his nod, a sentiment echoed through the room, and honestly it makes me a bit unnerved; Vema didn't react like that when I drank her weird ass concoction, now i'm getting some ‘good, he drank the kool-aid’ vibe, guess the good times just keep on rolling.

Lizard guy starts chatting with the blanket party, and Dane does the same with the guys he brought, occasionally someone will give me a quick scan, at first i assumed to see if i dropped dead, but it's soon apparent they’re just recalling my fall as i see the grins surging onto their faces. god, that was like, three minutes ago, just forget about it already. The two groups… well three if you count the ‘guards’ who followed us from the gate, are sort of keeping to themselves, but talking loud enough the other group could listen in if they wanted, no hushed whispers or shifty glances, so I guess these people have good familiarity with each other, not that i'm really surprised about that.

As time slips by i notice slivers of the garbled gurgling these folks call a language start sounding understandable; snippets, bits and pieces, like looking at a picture of a rabbit then seeing a duck, the comprehension slips before i can even really catch it. Soon more and more starts to makes sense until it sounds like they are just placing nonsense words in normal conversation. God these people can talk, i get like a minute into a conversation then have to just sit in awkward silence because I could really give a damn about how their day went, and im sure the same goes for the other person so they don't say anything either. Fake it till you make it? Nop, i will stay a jackass as long as it's not inconvenient to do so.

One of the people who was routinely scanning me noticed I was actually paying attention to the talks happening right in front of me, and gets the attention of the ‘leader’ of his group, Dane. Dane promptly does the exact same thing, and gets the attention of lizard boi, and both man and reptilian guy turn and walk up to me, both once again looking suspiciously eager.

“Got your balance there son? Want me to find that stick you brought with you to lean on? Haha, oh don’t look so sour, never seen a Germa before? Don't worry, I’ve seen people do worse meeting our scaly friend here, still you could’ve been more grateful with your greeting haha eh, ehem, anyway, this is… well i can't really pronounce his full name still, but ever since we’ve met he's gone by Jerum Pakeus, it's more convenient you see? Now listen here Vascah you did something awful impressive not only with your bravery, but your capability, truly stunning. well, at least until that Fashea Couue knocked you on your keister, haha, but even then ya still came out atop, and not everyone who's been put in a similar situation can say the same,” Dane leans forward, “mostly ‘cause they’re dead.

So, my friend, you impressed me, and anyone who donates valuable materials without so much as batting an eye is someone i can appreciate, and while keeping someone with your potential around would normally be my goal, I hold some gratitude toward ya, and Vema mentioned you had the peculiar notion of making it to the other side of them Greenpool Forests; lunacy to go through, yet still i gotta say a small part of me can’t help but admire ya tried. If you want to get most anywhere in the continent, you ask me, i know this land better than most anyone, still, I don't know everything, so for the things I don't i have Jerum here, now I want you to take to heart what he says now, he's not gotten where he is with just a passing knowledge, hes what you'd call an expert.

Now Jerum, would you tell this young man there's no way through that green hell and he should just take one of my caravans around, save us all a bit of time, and more likely than not, a life.”

Well it's good to know Dane still sounds like he stores marbles in his throat even when i can understand him, just a very rough voice, like a heavy smoker, though I’ve yet to see or smell a cancer stick, or pipe on the guy.

Jerum takes a couple steps forward, the sound of his ‘claws’ on his feet clanking on the polished floor and he stops beside Dane, giving him a meaningful look, i think, then turns to me, once more opening his massive maw, revealing the dozens of dozens of sharp teeth, and saliva? How the fuck did they get saliva in a costume, god this dude better pray the suit doesnt leak.

“Child, I can only echo sentiments you must have heard already, if you see going through Greenpool as something you must do, i cant say its impossible, but I would not be surprised if our paths only were to cross once more in the next plain of existence, nevermore in this one. Do you believe I can dissuade you from making such a perilous crossing with my words alone? Young ones can often have such thick skulls they forget the rest of them are still just flesh, meat, and sinew; a meal by any other name.”

God, it's getting tiring hearing people say that. I just shrug and nod, it seems to be the only thing I can do. Neither Dane nor Liz seem convinced they got through my ‘thick skull’ but both seem to understand im just not into this conversation. The groupies behind them seem to have the same conclusion but don't take the information with the same grace, going off the look of general disapproval shadowing their faces. Sorry guys, I got bigger concerns than ‘spooky forest: beware’ stuff like ‘i don't know where i am and might’ve just been drugged’ seem more pressing

Dane tactfully starts, “Well, our letters sent, it's up to you to open the gates for the messenger. For now you look like you could use a minute to clean up. Me an Jerum ‘ere have some catching up to do, if you’d like there’re some heated baths here, some of the best you’ll find outside the rulers own bathing quarters, after that we’ll have a good chat about the future and have ourselves an early dinner. How's that sound?”

As much as I'd like a shower, I'll be damned if I take one here, i just met these weirdies. i’d rather have a rag bath at my truck, id feel a lot more secure. Actually i do still feel really gross so i think i'll do just that, no sense in letting these cuts fester any longer anyway. I wave away the offer, hopefully in a way that says ‘thanks, but no thanks fam,’ then mimic my car starting, “burcurcur-growow” and mime wiping myself down. All I get are some weird looks, so after a few seconds I give a little wave and turn, heading for the entrance. No-one stops me but i hear the sound of Dane and Jerum saying something echo off the walls, then a couple sets of footsteps pittering behind me. It's one of Danes and Ferums guys respectively, both doing a little jog to catch up to me. Seems im destined to be followed by peoples lackeys till i finally jump ship.

Ok what am i gonna do? Disinfect cuts, bandage what i need to… probably not i hate band-aids and i don't think any of my cuts are actually that deep. Next, wipe down; i might need to put up curtains or something in my truck windows, i dunno. Maybe I can use Danes house? Then... i dunno a nap or something, i'm on vacation, fuck it.

Listening to the inane chatter of my two tails i spot my truck in the distance with a small group of people who seem to be just looking at it like tourists gawking at a monument. I get it. My truck's pretty sexy but typically I'm the only one who just stares in appreciation, i don't know if i like this very much… am i getting jealous over my truck? Yea, i'm starting to weird myself out, lets ignore this for now, bigger fish to fry. The people in the small gathering look the same as anyone else I've seen in this village, just now they’re more… not creepy, i dunno, unwelcome i guess, now that they’re watching the place i'm trying to get to i feel really self conscious, afterall i don't really look my sunday best you know?

As expected the onlookers interest in my truck, and by extension, myself peaks as i work my way once again to the back and open the rear hatch and tailgate. Once more i try to phase out the collective awe as i look through my toiletries for sanitary wipes, soap, and a rag, then my first aid for antiseptic alcohol, neosporin, and a couple band-aids, just in case. Next i grab the first tightly rolled set of clothes out of my personal bag; the contents are a t-shirt with ‘Pop Culture Reference’ printed on the front, cotton cargo pants, white tank top, boxer-briefs, two pairs of socks, and a plaid flannel. I'm still a little impressed at how tightly i could roll this outfit so i could fit a few changes of clothes and then some, with a little bit of room for extra stuff in my bag. the whole getup isn't really out of the realm of what i normally wear outside of my work uniform, i cant say im the most fashionable guy around, but by god it’s a functional outfit, and i don't really have to give a damn if i spill BBQ sauce all over myself, so that's a plus. ‘Course… I'll admit, it can get hot wearing all those layers, sooo there's that I guess. Better than bug bites in my opinion… not like the pants im wearing really helped with fending bugs.

After a couple attempts gathering all my items in one go i decide the awkward way of carrying this stuff led to a strong possibility of dropping something in front of a crowd watching the back of my head, and were that to happen, it would haunt my lonely thoughts for a long time. Like when someone asks ‘how's it going?’ and i reply ‘thanks you too.’ so, the obvious conclusion is; the whole situation would be best avoided altogether. With that line of thought i turn to my two satellites and quirk my finger at the cleaner looking one in a ‘come hither’ fashion, it happens to be the one in the robe, one of Jerum’s guys, and try to get him to hold some of this stuff for me. It's the least they can do if they’re just gonna follow me around.

The guy has a confused, then incredulous look as i foist most of my burdens into his arms, i do my best to remind myself there is no harm in relying on the people around you, turns out it's actually decent advice. Hehe. As I make my way to Danes house I hear the guy behind me try to get my attention.

“sir, sir, you don't expect me to ferry your luggage like a common porter do you? Are you ignoring me?” then in a much quieter voice, “Just my luck, already placed beneath my station having to keep an eye on some muck covered philistine, now i have to carry his… what is this?”

As the bellhop gets acquainted with his new burden i make my way to Danes home and knock on the door, i don't expect an answer right away because how big the place seemed when i last went inside, but i wasn't expecting no answer at all. So while fighting off that feeling of awkwardness of being witnessed by a large group of people while caught in an avoidable blunder, the feeling i already have taken steps to avoid but apparently failed, i knock once more just in case, wait a short while, then decide i guess i don't really need to disinfect my cuts, or clean myself up a bit, or change my cloths, or really feel like a person right now do i? So i walk back to my truck, take my things back from the bellhop, and place everything on top of the organized bags since i can't be bothered putting everything back right now. I guess now's as good a time for a nap as any other, so i go to the passenger seat leave the door open and pull the lounge lever, leaning way back to stare at my trucks light grey roof until i notice how hard it is to keep my eyes open.

… I got a cat nap in, im sure i did, but after what feels like having my eyes shut for just a moment, the sound of a crowds cacophony quickly dissipates my grogginess and curiosity puts my fatigue to the wayside. Sitting up i don't see anything unusual around me, aside from the two people who were trailing me sitting under a parasol on chairs that i'm certain weren't around earlier. I get up, shut and lock my truck, and make my way towards the noise, unsure of what the hell would cause so many boring people to get so worked up. It doesn't take long to find the gathering of people crowding around a stage put up in an open courtyard, i'm honestly surprised at the amount of people gathered here, I didn't think there would be such a population density in a place like this. There's someone on the stage talking about… politics i think, i can hear him surprisingly well considering how far away i am and how many people there are, but i guess the magic of acoustics has always been a bit of a mystery to me, seems i'm just catching the end of what he has to say. I’d like to ask someone what's going on but i don't think they’d understand me either so i just try to observe.

The speaker wraps up what he has to say, and I finally get an idea of what's going on.

“So, fair city of PakeCrest, with your support through volunteer work or the purchase of militant shares there's no doubt our great community can thoroughly- nay will completely stomp out anyone who might try to threaten all who live in this beautiful land.-”

Someone nearby grumbles, “and what the hell are we paying taxes for, eh? What's our leader doing, begging for support for the military in this time of peace? Peh.”

“-then. Ahem. Now, for the vile criminals charged and judged with crimes deserving of capital punishment, as well as their sentences carried out by one of the Capitols prestegious Omimo Thaumaturges, Ven Mause Ottiva, take note, for this demonstration will show a mere iota of the power wielded by such potent personages. Now without further ado-”

Someone else near me starts up, “See, I told you it wouldn't be a waste to come out for the aggregation this time, we get to see an Omimo in action and live to gab about it afterward, not everyone can say the same… well i guess now they could too, but we get to see it ourselves instead of hearing about it from Gregor at the-”

“- and lastly… loitering and for these crimes he will be put to death, may the heavens bear a heart strong enough to forgive him, as we ostensibly, do not. By your mark Ven Mause.”

The stage now holds four more people, one by the speaker, and two holding a third in place on the other end of the stage. The one being held looks like ‘The Thing’ from Fantastic Four and seems decidedly unrepentant of whatever crimes he supposedly did. This kinda just proves this whole thing some weird set up to me though, i mean how ridiculous could this whole thing be? But whatever, might as well see where this is going.

Ven stands there staring at The Thing when suddenly the rock man starts screaming bloody murder, i cant hear the scrams as well as i could hear the orator but its verry apperent, as the croud hushes to an eary quiet, and abruptly the screaming is cut off. The man still looks like he’s trying to yell but no sound escapes as the two people who were holding him in place both take an alert step back, and the Thing thrashes in place, obviously in some sort of agony. Ven starts making some gesture with his hand in front of his face and abruptly, like a car in a compactor, the man crushes into himself, bluish liquid seeps out of cracks in his ‘skin’ and the full grown man is crumpled into the size of a basketball before my eyes.

What the fuck!?