Fortunately, the apartment would only have to be shared by all six former lovers until classes let out for the semester. Which, in this case, was about two and a half months. In that time, Star and Sky shared a sofa bed in the living room while the couples retained their regular sleeping quarters. Though listening to them in those sleeping quarters each night was more than a bit difficult for the two sexually traumatized teens. So they were more than thankful when May ended and Lucien and Saul graduated, while Kali and Astrid went home for the summer before having to come back in the fall for their final year.

Of course, this also meant that for the first time in seventeen years, Sky and Star would actually have only one another for company, every hour of the day and the night. There wasn’t even a single camera pointed at them for once either, which was something that would also be a rather new experience, and something they would have reveled in; if they had still been the people they used to be, or even felt like people at all anymore.

That first night of finally being alone together, after all that had turned them into the ghosts of their former selves; it was less than easy. Even though the two could have easily moved into Kali’s or Astrid’s temporarily empty bedrooms, they simply stayed in the living room all evening, trying to pretend anything on the TV screen even meant anything to them anymore.

Sky was propped up on their pillows at the head of the bed, smoking his cigarette and staring blankly at that TV screen. Star was lying on her stomach, propped up on a pillow at the foot of the bed, sharing the same blank stare at whatever happened to be on the screen right then.

Both of them were startlingly quiet outwardly, despite the fact that nothing inside either of them was ever anywhere near quiet. He took another drag as he sat there, in a simple black t-shirt and pants, finally daring to let his eyes move to Star, which he normally avoided doing.

She was also dressed rather plainly in a black tank and some velvet shorts as her hair spilled loosely over her back while she just continued to stare at the screen. His eyes moved up her bare legs, and over the curve of her behind in the rather clinging velvet. His breath caught slightly as he felt the briefest stir in his loins. Though he couldn’t for the life of him decide whether it was desire or fear of that desire, which had become almost constant since the two of them had used that desire one last time to end the lives of all of those who had victimized them for so long.

He swallowed again, trying to will away the feeling, but to no avail. So he gave in, and turned his eyes back to her body. After all, it was only looking, and at least if that’s all it was, hopefully no one else would die because of it.

When Star finally pushed herself up to reach for a sip of soda which had been left on the stand next to where he sat, her eyes immediately noted his on her. She swallowed a bit then too, as he averted them then, and took another sad drag off of his cigarette.

“Haven’t seen you look at me like that in a long time” she managed in a whisper, which only caused him to sniffle slightly as he kept his eyes averted.

“I try not to...look at you at all” he admitted the truth she already knew and felt herself as well.

“Will we ever be able to move on from any of this?” she asked him again, despite knowing that neither of them had that answer.

“Should we?” he repeated his answer.

Star then took a brave breath before speaking, “we can control it though. Things only happen when we want them to now.”

“Does that make what we did any better?” he asked pointedly.

“Would staying there and giving them our children to torture instead have been the better plan?” she reminded him with another sniffle.

“I told you about the plan I had” he whispered, raising his scarred wrist again to accent the statement.

“And I reminded you of your promise” she stated pointedly.

“I made that promise a long, long time ago Star. And things only got worse after I wasn’t allowed to die” he whispered hoarsely.

She just shook her head sadly, “we’re free now though. Doesn’t that count for anything?”

“Do you really feel free?” he scoffed, though with barely any volume.

“Maybe we could finally feel free if we agreed to actually take our freedom back, for real. We’re the only ones who can do that” she added in the same sad whisper.

“Take our freedom back?” another scoff, “what does that even mean?” Sky asked her as he finally looked back at her face at last.

“The only prison we’re in now, is the one we’ve made for ourselves. The only torture now, is what we’re inflicting on ourselves. They made us this way. Whatever way this even is. And we defended ourselves the only way we could. How does that not give us the right to at least try to live again, now that we don’t have any of them trying to control us?”

“But how do we even do that, Star? Every time we touch, even accidentally, it all just comes flooding back. They destroyed what we had. And what we had was all we had, all we even were. And it’s just tied up with all that pain forever now. How can you not want it all to just end too?” he asked as the tears emerged at last.

“Because then they really win. If we let them destroy us like that, permanently, and we never come back from any of this...then they fucking win” she told him through her own sob then.

“Haven’t they already?” he whispered back.

“They’re dead. All of them. And we’re not. Not yet. We’re still alive. So let’s please just, be alive.”

After several more unbearably long nights in that apartment alone together, it was painfully obvious that Sky was still in a state where he seemed to be longing for his own death with every breath. Star honestly did not know how much longer she really could keep him from falling into that abyss, never to come back. Just pleading with him to keep his promise and trying to justify away the deaths they had caused, it clearly was not working. So Star decided she would need to jolt him back into wanting to live again.

Sky was just finishing his shower late that summer night and slowly returned to the living room clad in nothing but a loose pair of black silk pants as he discarded the towel he had been drying his still rather wet long black locks with. When his eyes came up from the floor to make his way to their bed, he was more than a bit thrown.

Star was laying there, across their bed, hugging one of their many pillows to her body; though she had not a scrap of clothing on.

“What are you doing, Star?” Sky greeted her, with shaky breath.

“It’s hot tonight, isn’t it?” she asked him innocently as she turned to her side, pushing the pillow away and letting him take in all of her pale, bare skin once more.

“You know we can’t” he told her, his breath still shallow, though he was still unable to pull his eyes away either.

“Then we won’t” she stated simply.

Sky just scoffed, “then maybe you should put your clothes back on.”

“You don’t even have to come to bed, but you can if you want to” she told him in the same soft, gentle tone as she slid back against the pillows, her eyes still locked on him, still making no move to hide any of her nakedness from him.

“I can’t do this” he whispered again.

“You don’t have to do anything. I won’t make you. But I...I’m sick of being numb. I wanna feel again, Sky. But you don’t have to help me do that, unless you really want to.”

And with that she slowly moved her hands to her breasts with a breath of anticipation. She let them linger there for several seconds, at least until her nipples hardened beneath her fingertips. Sky just looked on, terrified to keep letting himself watch, but unable to stop himself either.

Star than slowly moved her hands from her breasts, over her stomach and lower. Slightly parting her legs, she moved them lower still. Finding the wetness she was almost amazed she even still could feel, she began pleasuring herself, staring into his eyes across the room, and trying to desperately remember a time that the two of them could give one another all that pleasure too. Before they were so badly broken for being what they were and feeling what they felt, and doing what they could do.

As she began bringing herself to that first climax, Sky found himself letting in those memories too, as painful as it was that things were so different for them now. But he gave in and let himself remember, and found his body responding to her pleasure the way it used to, even if he wasn’t the one making her feel it himself anymore.

Leaning back against the wall, his hands made their way inside his clothing as he began finally letting himself feel too; staring back into her eyes as that first orgasm shook her, and amazingly starting to let himself feel some of that pleasure of his own again at last.

When that climax finally hit him, Sky slid down to the floor, spent, his eyes still locked tightly to Star’s as she sat upon the bed, trying to recover from her own pleasure, staring right back at him. It was a moment that was so reminiscent of the first time the two had ever been to this place, all those years ago, back when they were first trying to fight their longing for each other; just as they were trying to do again now.

They then spent the next several nights laying at opposite sides of the bed, both naked, pleasuring themselves to sleep; all the while they were always staring into one another’s dark, troubled eyes, but not actually touching each other. Never actually touching each other.

It was the second half of July now, and once again the two had fallen asleep touching themselves and trying to imagine it was them touching each other, back before everything had taken such a dark, devastating turn for them. That morning, the two of them still lay atop the covers without a stitch of clothing after their previous night’s activity. Sky actually awoke first and rolled to his side to look down at where Star still lay there, every inch of her pale skin still completely bared before him, eyes still closed against the morning sun that barely made it past the black curtains.

She lay upon her back, pretty lashes resting contently above her pale cheeks, her bare breasts rising and falling with each breath. One knee was bent to the side, leaving her legs parted and herself completely open to be so easily taken by him, had he wanted to slide himself inside her that very second. And he did want to, so badly his body immediately reacted to the thought, causing his breath to catch as he continued to move his eyes over her.

Sky did try to compose himself, as futile as that was. But instead, he finally gave in and moved closer to her sleeping form. He moved closer still, til their bodies touched, reveling in the feel of her skin against his again as he lay there on his side next to her, his hardness throbbing against her outer thigh.

As she stirred only slightly in her sleep, he took the moment to continue looking down at her, so close now, his long locks tickled her breast. Another deep breath before he then finally allowed himself to lean down, and place the gentlest kiss upon her nipple, his breath short with desire then.

As she still only stirred again, not waking, he moved to continue kissing her breasts, with more passion, more fervor, remembering how much he had always loved the feel of her skin against his lips. Her breath changed as his kisses then did wake her, but he continued them nonetheless. His hand had now even dared to move to rest upon her stomach, still holding her against him, still tasting her flesh.

Star couldn’t help another small gasp as a tiny tear escaped her eyes and she moved to weave her fingers through his hair, arching her back to allow her breasts to eagerly meet each flick of his tongue over her nipples. Just that much tenderness between them was enough to finally give Star the hope that maybe they could survive all that had happened to them after all. But she was even more amazed when she finally felt his hand move down from her stomach, and lower.

When his fingers entered her, she allowed another louder gasp as she arched against him again, praying desperately that this wasn’t just a dream, and maybe the nightmare that was their life was finally ending, just maybe.