《Day of Doom》Chapter 5
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Hector Estisiextremelylonglastnamebecausewhynotoefi is the only human so far who has figured out why the sun went out. He knows that the spell is active, and has agreed not to tell anyone about it. He is the smartest human alive and may one day become an honorary mouse. He is currently researching a way to combine the ancient magical Lorem Ipsum texts with present-day technology to create some simple magitech. The experiments have been deemed harmless and may be continued. He may be the key to getting the time loop right and having zero glitches by basing it around something else, a beacon, instead of a random and rather imbecilic human. We approve of his pursuit of knowledge.
-Unknown source
* * *
David woke once again to the dogs' barking.
This time, he quickly got up to go get his coffee; After reading some nonsensical web fiction with bad grammar involving some guy dying, reincarnating, and randomly beating up anyone who came his way and said anything in the name of "honor", he finally figured out what to do.
He would call Hector, that geek who did calculez...Calcooles? Calcules! No... Whatever it was called in sixth grade who knew the answer to anything and everything. This was the first rational thought that he had ever thought of, though how it had anything to do with the Xianxia he read yesterday was anyone's guess. After all, it didn't really do anything to increase his intellectual capacity. The only thing it did was give him a headache and make him question his genius decision to read web fiction with an average rating of 1.3 stars.
But first, coffee.
* * *
As he put his cup under the coffee maker for his...Fifth cup? No...his sixth cup of coffee, David sighed and called Hector.
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Hector answered 21 seconds after he called.
"Hey, Hector, do you have any idea-"
"It was an oddity sunlight-based obscuration."
"...What?"
"It was an oddity sunlight-based obscuration."
"In English, please?"
"A freak solar eclipse, you imbecile!"
"...Oh. I didn't mean that, I mean do you know why the same day keeps repeating over and over?"
"What?"
"So, like, the same day keeps repeating o-"
"Is it true or not that you are mentally ill?"
"...What? No, I don't think I'm insane if that's what you mean?"
"Would you care to repeat what you just said?"
"I don't think I'm insane?"
"No, before that."
"The same day keeps repeating over and over?"
"Yes! That! And you are claiming that you are not mentally ill?"
"Look, I know that this sounds crazy, but it's true, and I-"
"Do you have any idea how imbecilic you sound at the present time?"
David sighed.
"Could you at least speak in English?"
"But I am!"
"...Present-day English?"
"I am!"
"Okay, so say if I weren't insane, and the same day was actually repeating over and over, what do you think would be happening?"
"Rodents, creatures far superior in intelligence to humans, are making the day of destruction rehash precisely multiple times to separate a boundless measure of their old texts."
"...In English that I can understand?"
"Mice, which are far smarter than humans, could take over the world but they don't because they don't want to offend cats, are making the day of doom repeat multiple times in a time loop to-"
"Okay, okay, forget it, fine, I won't bother you anymore! You shouldn't joke when I'm asking a serious question! I get that it sounds crazy, but-"
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Hector hung up.
* * *
"Why did you tell him the truth?
"Since the fact of the matter is reality; It is the thing that he is to the least extent liable to accept. Assuming he discovers himself, he won't fault me for lying and will realize that I was not kidding near. Assuming he doesn't discover, then, at that point, he will come to accept that I am kidding and he will not learn anything. It is simpler to cause him to accept that I am a disappointing individual with an awful funny bone than it is to deceive him."
"You do not disappoint. I apologize for any inconvenience that may be caused by my not being able to use the finer language that well here in this form."
"I am sorry. I will use the rougher, human version of the language instead, in case you do not understand. It is the following: 'Because the truth is the truth; It is what he is least likely to believe. If he finds out himself, he will not blame me for lying and will know that I was not joking around. If he does not find out, then he will believe that I am joking and he will not learn anything. It is easier to make him believe that I am a frustrating person with a bad sense of humour than it is to lie to him.'"
"It is acceptable. Please refrain from using the finer language with other humans if you would like them to be able to understand what you are saying. They do not speak it. They will label you as 'weird', which you are; Far too human for our taste. At this rate, though, you may very well become an honorary mouse before you die, ensuring that you do not."
"Thank you. I know."
"Good. I will be leaving for now. Please do go back to experimenting with magitech. Your priority is to finish with the beacon. It is best if you finish before a deadline of roughly 12 years from now."
"The deadline is acceptable and I should be finished by then."
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