Despite what humans may think, most cats have 99 lives, although some richer ones have 999 and some poorer ones have 9. This is because taxes are calculated based on the number of digits the numbers have. Taxes are also the reason that cats love balls. Balls have a lot of volume, yet almost none of the surface area touches the ground. Balls of yarn are especially enticing.

-Unknown source

* * *

David woke to the dogs' barking once again.

It was probably going to have to become a part of his morning routine.

He was surprisingly calm today because not being calm would result in more harm than good. No, he wasn't thinking rationally for once; It was just that not thinking about it at all was easier than losing some brain cells thinking about it. It was just a coincidence that not stressing over it at all was rational.

After all, Sunday was his second favorite day of the week, with Saturday being the first. The rest of the days of the week, those cursed workdays, went Friday, Wednesday, Tuesday, Thursday, and, finally, the cursed piece of shit that was known as Monday.

Having realized that it would be rational to not give too much thought to the fact that Sunday was, in fact, going to repeat itself over and over like those time-loop books he read before, David suddenly started screaming and slapping himself.

When that didn't help, he started banging his head against the table, after which he then proceeded to curl into a fetal position and cry in his room, something he, admittedly, did very often.

When that didn't help either, he went to make some coffee.

* * *

As David gulped down his cup of coffee, he reprimanded himself for trying to think without drinking coffee, and also just trying to think in general. He had no talent for thinking; He was made to apologize for things he didn't do.

And with that in mind, David started thinking about the time loop, ignoring the fact that the sun suddenly went out and people were screaming outside.

Every morning, he woke up and started his morning routine.

Every morning, the sun went out when he started drinking his coffee.

Even though he started drinking his coffee at different times.

This...

So it was his fault that the sun went out?

No, it couldn't be.

He was only made to apologize for things that weren't his fault, not things that were.

But why did his mom only call once?

...Forget it. He wasn't one of those detectives, or one of those protagonists in the mystery books, or even a wannabe detective.

He was a freaking normal person; He wasn't just going to start thinking rationally when the sun went out, even if he got past panicking.

Instead, he would do the one thing anyone in his position would do: Read web fiction and watch movies on Netflix.

* * *

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* * *

We are sorry. Due to the laziness and unwillingness to continue the plot of the protagonist test subject, this chapter has been cut short. We will now give you an info dump little explanation of the recent events.

Humans have stolen our mythical ancient texts from ancient times around 600 years ago. We have allowed them to keep it as they seem only to use it as "filler text" and do not know the magical properties of it, nor how to use it. However, a while ago, they have accidentally created a program that can generate an infinite amount of it, something we have not managed for millennia. We are now in the process of extracting said code, which should take infinity divided by infinity (21) days. We have used part of our incomplete texts to generate a spell that will make the same day, the day of doom, repeat over and over. This will then be passed off in the future as a freak solar eclipse resulting from the alignment of planets. Most humans will not notice a thing. There is, however, one that will be our "test subject"-- The one that the spell will be based around.