《Living Selfishly While Working Towards A Peaceful Life》Chapter 9
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The door to his room opened. As if sleeping, he lay still in bed. It was just a little after 2 in the morning. What did he expect?
She wouldn’t want to be a decent person even once. Who would wake their child at this time?
As if on cue, the sound of crying started. Shaking him hard he heard her choked and gasping sobs.
She was quiet as a mouse two seconds ago. Where did this heartbreaking sorrow come from?
He flew awake or did the best imitation he could. “Mother?” He asked, his voice laced with concern.
“My baby…” Ping An reached out and stroked her fingers down his cheek.
Bai Li’s heart clenched. Even though he knew this was an act, it still affected him. It was hard on him to realize he would always have expectations of his mother.
More than Bai Tao or Bai Wei, his greatest attachment was to his mother's love and approval.
In the dark moments when he was alone, he thought about forgetting what she did to him. He thought about continuing to live as her pawn.
Bai Li took hold of the conversation. It wouldn’t work in his favor if he gave her too much leeway.
“Mom, I’m sorry.” His voice trembled. He didn’t want to think about what exactly he was apologizing for. “I don’t know why he is sending me away.”
Ping An cried harder. “Since you were a baby...I don’t know why he doesn’t like you.” Her hands shook.
She continued after drawing in a deep, shaky breath. “It is not your fault. No matter what you do, you will always disappoint him. That doesn’t matter, okay. All our family needs are you, me, and Wei Wei.”
Holding his head down, he hid his expression. “What should I do at school?” It seemed she wasn't going to mention the reason Bai Tao gave to her for sending him away.
“Didn’t I tell you to watch your grades? They have been increasing recently.” Dabbing at wet eyes, she reached out her other hand to grab him firmly. “Your father has a lot of friends whose children go to that school. Make sure to watch the people around you.”
Her hand trembled. Tears started to leak out of her eyes, rolling down her cheeks unattended. “You can’t trust anyone there. He doesn’t want you to be happy, now that he won’t be at home as often as before.”
Did this woman have no shame? First, his grades were too bad, and now they were too good. Did she think he wouldn’t notice? This reasoning would only work on hormonal teenagers.
He was incredulous at her ability to rewrite the truth. In his last life, she arranged people by his side. Now, she was accusing his father? Then again. Could he say for sure that his father didn’t or wouldn’t do that?
A face he would rather forget flashed through his mind. He didn’t have to fake the annoyance he felt. Grinding his teeth, he spoke. “What is he trying to do?”
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“I don’t know. Mommy is sorry. We would not be in this state if your dad did not have control of the company. Would I let this happen to you?” She bent over, sobbing into a handkerchief.
Grey hairs were showing at the crown of her head.
It was an odd thing to notice. Unless it was there deliberately? His mother was religious about her appearance. Would she let grey hairs grow out?
“I am getting older. Your father probably has another woman. I won’t let him force you out! He will have to go over my dead body,” she said with conviction.
That was all the confirmation he needed. It was a deliberate action by his mother. “Mom,” the word tasted weird on his tongue. “Don’t worry. I can’t help you right now, but it won’t be like this forever.”
Using different words, she repeated her message a few times. When she felt satisfied, she left the room.
Looking at the ceiling, he wondered just how different they were from each other. He and his mother used the same methods. From what he could see, the only things that differed between them were their motivations and where they drew their bottom line.
It was a depressing thought.
There was a gummy feeling in his mouth, accompanied by the beginnings of a headache. He couldn’t sleep.
He spent the night pondering the repercussions of his actions.
He spent another portion of the night analyzing some of his past and present relationships.
For a moment, he thought of allowing his mother room to redeem herself, but he changed his mind again. If she wanted to be a decent human being, it would be a welcome change. However, Bai Li realized he could not be involved in his mother’s life. She had a negative impact on his mental health and his overall well-being could never be erased.
When he wasn’t looking, he became a gambler. He made high-risk decisions. It might have been a consequence of his job or a winner’s high from being reborn.
Why did he approach Bai Tao like that, especially when he thought his father didn't like him.
Did he want someone to recognize he was different? To figure out his secret?
He dismissed the thought, but it had crossed his mind more than once.
His actions were reckless.
He won the lottery of life and was about to burn through his winning. It was something he was doing unconsciously. He would have to keep an eye out for it.
There was a knock at his door. “Young master!” A sweet voice called. The door opened to reveal a pretty maid walking in.
He watched her with a wary eye. She was already working in the mansion when he was this age? Wasn’t this the woman who said he raped her in his last life?
“You are?” he asked. “I don’t think I have ever seen you before.”
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He had seen her before. It was just in the future.
Was the world trying to have him sort out all the problems from his last life? It looked like he would have to work hard for a while before relaxing.
She blushed. “The madam hired me recently.” Everything about her behavior hinted at an invitation.
Wouldn’t he have to be young and stupid to fall for this honey trap? Well, could he really say that? He couldn’t be all that smart since he fell for this trap in his last life.
He couldn’t decide which hurt more, Bai Wei’s physical knives or his mother’s emotional ones.
When his mother sent this woman to his side, she nearly sent him to prison, broke up his relationship, and almost cost him the company.
He thought this woman was sent to him by Bai Fang. How much of the scummy things that he attributed to Bai Fang were actually him?
“Why did you come in?” There was the feeling of a noose around his neck.
Enlightenment was a scary thing. You could exist happily without knowing, but once you looked behind the veil, you had to be prepared for what you learned.
“Madam asked me to tell you not to come down for breakfast. She knew you wouldn’t be feeling well and said she would have it sent up.” She twisted from side to side. Her breast swayed with her movement. It was alluring.
“Thank mother for me. Can you ask Aunt Nora to bring it up? I would like to speak with her,” he said.
Her movements stilled. It was clear she didn’t know what to do next. “Is there a reason, young master, doesn’t want me to bring it? I was assigned to serve you.” Her words were suggestive and loaded with coquetry.
This was painful to watch. If he was a hormone-ridden teenager, how would this meeting have gone? It was a blessing that his mother underestimated his intelligence.
This was a trap that greater men than him had fallen into. Again that face flashed past his mind.
“Is that something you should be asking me? I gave you an order, and you disobeyed it. Then you claim to be here to serve me.” His voice came out harsher than he intended.
When he looked up, he realized that he should have saved his pity. There were tears in her eyes. Her breasts jiggled as she gasped for air. His words weren’t harsh enough to warrant this reaction.
She was useless as a maid, but she was well trained in other areas.
“Cry after you tell Nora to bring my meal. Now get out.” This time his voice was cold. It allowed no room for argument.
Something in his expression must have frightened her. She stopped crying instantly and leaned back as if to put as much distance as possible between them. “Ye...Ye...Yes! Youn...Young...MASTER!”
A combination of exhaustion and anger at being sent to boarding school should be a good enough excuse for his behavior should his mother ask.
Aunt Nora came not even 10 minutes later. He just got out of the shower when she came in.
Her eyes looked at him with censure. “Young master. Your breakfast.”
She placed the tray heavily on the table. Some of the porridge spilled out of the bowl.
Was he expected to appease her?
Was this his mother’s carrot and stick approach? “Is there something wrong?”
Her eyes were cold as she answered him. “Young master. The maid assigned to you is young. This is so because madam thought you would be more comfortable with someone closer to your age. This does not mean you can behave inappropriately towards her.”
He shouldn’t have asked. Were they going to continue the play without him acting his part?
Looking over Nora’s shoulder, he saw a shadow by the door.
Was this play directed at his father? If they were at odds with each other, wouldn’t this be a death sentence? Did his mother want him in reform school instead?
“Aunt Nora. I respect you, and I have known you since I was a child, but that is a serious accusation. I won’t be able to let it pass.” It wasn’t time to break all civilities. He wondered if he was too naive before. Playing to his mother’s tune might be the wrong move.
At this rate, he wouldn’t even know how he died.
Crossing her arms over her stomach, she did a small bow. “The young master should be clear in your heart about your actions. I know you are that age, but such wild behavior...your mother would be sad.”
“I recorded the entire conversation with the maid from before.” Rubbing the towel on his head, he dried his hair.
“There are consequen...what did you say?” She asked. Raising her head, her eyes were wide with shock.
His father peeked his head through the door and nodded. Bai Li dipped his head in acknowledgment.
They presented him with a better excuse. “I recorded the conversation. She behaved strangely. I thought it best to be on guard, so I recorded the conversation.”
Sitting down, he started with the porridge. “Mother warned me about the people around me. Since that maid immediately reported me to you. Falsely accusing me. I think father put her at my side.”
“That is very serious. I will let the madam know at once! She will sort it out for you!” She was burning with righteous indignation. “I can’t believe that master would go this far.”
Nora was another one who would have done well as an actress.
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