《Living Selfishly While Working Towards A Peaceful Life》Chapter 5
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The room was quiet. The clock beside the bed flashed the time, 10:15 am. By this point, someone usually would have been in to wake him up. He was grateful that they hadn't. He didn’t want to get out of bed and face the day.
A growl came from his stomach. Despite being hungry, he rolled over ignoring it. When he remembered why his dinner was left in his father’s wastebasket last night he couldn’t work up the energy to get out of bed.
When was the last time he slept in late?
Just after being reborn, he couldn’t sleep. The shock and stress of not knowing what happened kept him on edge. He spent most of his time remembering and making notes of market trends and world events.
Not to mention when he was an adult. He lived at work. All his achievements amounted to little in his eyes.
Why did he work so hard? Being introspective was annoying. He was a child. He could make allowances for himself. There was no reason to be so strict on himself.
Dragging himself out of bed, he padded into the bathroom.
Bai Li came out feeling refreshed. Thinking about the past wouldn’t help him. Didn’t he have the opportunity to change the course of his life? He was alive so he would live to the best of his ability.
Walking downstairs he heard voices in the kitchen and living room. They must have been told not to wake him. “Aunty Nora, where is my mother?”
“Young master, Madam went with Master to bring the young miss to see the old master," she said, keeping her tone respectful.
He sent a prayer for his father and thanked him for his sacrifice. It bought Bai Li a few moments of peace.
"Is that so?" Bai Li kept his tone hovering between neutral and uninterested. His memory of the past may be unreliable but it was an undeniable fact that Nora Redding was his mother’s faithful servant.
"What is for breakfast?" He asked. She gave him a strange look. In the past, he was much more respectful and courteous to the servants. He could understand why his change in behavior was being noticed.
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"Master said you woke up late and missed breakfast so nothing extra was to be prepared. Madam was concerned and ordered me to hide away some porridge and dumplings. The madam said you shouldn't be upset with your father, he just wants what is best for you." Aunt Nora delivered her lines with a sincere smile on her face. She moved in the direction of the kitchen leaving him to follow.
How wordy. Bai Li stared at his feet for a moment. If he hadn't spoken with his father last night how would he have taken that?
He needed to find a psychologist to talk to. He would need someone that wouldn't require that they meet face to face. He would do his best to speak generally without mentioning specific names.
It wasn't ideal but it was best he got help in case there were any lingering psychological shadows.
Pausing for a beat he looked in the direction of his mother’s portrait before following Nora. He needed to eat. There was nothing immediate that he needed to do. His next move would be decided by his father.
At the table, there was a bowl of watery porridge and 4 dumplings. In the past, he would have burned with indignation.
Sitting he stared at his meal, his mind unable to focus. Picking up his chopstick he ate all of it. In his last life, he thought he had his mother’s love and care. He thought he deserved her anger for his mistakes. Yet, it seemed like she had been grooming him from the start.
Placing down his chopsticks he wiped his mouth. Good. His emotions were no longer as volatile as yesterday. Seeing Ping An again would be the real determinant as to whether he could pretend that nothing major had changed.
Going back upstairs he rifled through his closet taking note of what he wanted to pack and bring with him. What he would leave behind.
He couldn't start packing. Nora would notice then it would make it back to his mother. While he was prepared to break all pretenses he didn't see the point in making his remaining days any more difficult than they needed to be.
Inadvertently his mind drifted to last night. Inconsistencies in his father's words stood out in his mind. Bai Tao genuinely thought that Ping An was saving Wen Shi for him.
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That meant his mother would have stated that. His father though doubting his capabilities didn't seem to care if he took over the business or not. So what triggered the fight for Wen Shi in his last life?
After doing well on his college entrance exams and Bai Tao's alleged attack, he had stopped hiding and holding back his intellect. He graduated from university, Cumme Laude. The top of his year group.
He started as a successful manager before going on to be vice president. He achieved this by the time Bai Feng was just graduating from university. At that point in life, he had little to no contact with his father outside of work.
Bai Feng had started his own business. It was successful and he progressed fast with the support of Bai Tao.
There hadn't been a successor announced and Ping Zen while aged was still healthy. His grandfather favored him. He had always thought that his grandfather's favor was what made Bai Feng impatient, and why he started to attack him.
He would never get the answer to his questions but his instincts said something was off.
Lying on his bed he searched for his phone. It was a flip model. He missed his Dapple smartphone.
Opening the picture he scrolled through the photos. Half of the people he stopped talking to by the time he left high school. They were wastes and degenerates.
If he stopped spending money they wouldn't even bother with him. His school was a class three school public school. There was no logical reason why he should attend it.
At that point, he didn't know if it was his father’s or his mother’s arrangements but it was decided that since his passing grade was only suitable for this level of school then he should accept it and attend instead of spending money to get him into a better school.
He had done just as mediocre on his high school entrance exam at his mother’s advice. They had spent money this time, this time he got into a grade 1 private high school. He didn’t know how it got out, but everyone knew he got in through the back door.
He could have been top of his class but he coasted through as an average student. If he hadn't gotten fed up and excelled on his college entrance exams his scholastic record would have been dismal at best.
Looking back at his phone he started blocking and deleting all the numbers. They called multiple times since his rebirth but he never answered. He didn't remember any of them and was unsure how to interact with them. He had fun when he was with them. They got him through his parents' breakup.
Not by being helpful or supportive, just by dragging him around and making sure he didn't have time to think. In his last life, he had financially supported their excursions. In this life, he would end their relationship cleanly.
Moving onto the picture he tried to remember the people in them and the time they were taken. Then he deleted each one. The last picture was a candid photo of Ava. He didn't remember her last name but for all of middle school, he had been sure he was in love with her.
She was the class bell. The B+ he'd gotten was for her. She had tutored him and he didn't want to seem like an idiot in front of her. He laughed at his own naivete.
Love wasn't such a pure and beautiful feeling. It lightened his heart that he still remembered the floaty feeling he got any time he was too close to her.
Another beautiful face surfaced in his mind and he ruthlessly suppressed it. That was something he was not prepared to examine. He managed to stabilize his emotions. Thinking about her would set him right back to being an emotionally wrecked mess.
Standing he went and changed his clothes. He put on a tracksuit and made his way downstairs. Taking care of each movement no matter how minute was the best way to keep his mind focused.
Reaching outside he set off on a light jog around the property. He used to do this in his past life. It wouldn't ring any major warning bells.
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