“I may get unwritten just for saying this out loud…but what the hell,” Jack began. “See, before I was thinking…maybe I could write Mother a new ending.”

“Can you do that…??” Dreadlilocks asked.

“I don’t know. I’ve never tried…but if it were possible, it’d be the ideal solution. All this is happening because of the way she feels about her imminent death. So, if I could just…change that, then…we’d be in the clear.”

“Or you could stop her from dying…?”

“No…I don’t think so. I mean, if she can’t stop herself from dying then it’s a safe bet that I can’t. After all, I’m just a small fraction of her…a figment of her imagination, brought to life by a power beyond all understanding…” He pulled out his book again. “Now that is a good line…”

“…Are you going to try writing it now?” asked Dreadli.

“Oh, uh…no, not that. These are just...thoughts…” He scribbled quickly with his quill pen. “Like I said, that’s what I’d do if the Odsplut wasn’t here to stop me. It can see everything I write…and if it caught me writing anything that might directly affect ‘Our Lady’…”

“Yeah, I know…” Dreadli bit her lip. “…Is there any way we can make it…not see? What makes it so powerful, anyway??”

“An excellent question. But the answer is simpler than you think: the Odsplut sees everything because it…is everything.”

“It’s like…the raw material that makes up everything in existence. Like atoms,” he explained. “Do you guys know about atoms; is that a thing in your world yet…?”

Dreadlilocks shook her head.

“Damn. Well…just forget that; think about the first thing I said. Raw material…those of us who write can control that raw material, to create characters and worlds. And the manifestation of that ability is the Odsplut.”

“So…that’s why Gin has one,” said Dreadli, looking at the caramel blob on her shoulder. “But doesn’t that mean you should have one too…??”

“Oh, I’ve got one. We’ve just…been separated…” He narrowed his one visible eye. “As long as I write, it’ll still exist, but Mother’s doing her best to destroy it. It’s very weak right now…and there’s another reason why my ‘plan’ is doomed. I just can’t access enough power to write something of that…magnitude.”

“…Two problems now,” Dreadli muttered. “But maybe they’re actually the same problem. If we could get rid of Mère L’Oye’s Odsplut, she wouldn’t be able to hurt yours, right? Then you’d be able to write the ending…!”

“You’re really seriously thinking about it, aren’t you…? Even though it’s impossible…”

“But I don’t feel like it’s impossible; I feel like there’s still something we could do…! We just have to figure out the solution…”

Suddenly, Jack raised his eyebrows, as if he’d had an epiphany. But instead of saying anything, he quickly shook his head and looked back down at his book.

Dreadli didn’t notice this, but the Caramel Odsplut did. It chirped at him insistently a few times, to no avail.

So with one last determined chirp, it drew itself back, launched off Dreadli’s shoulder, and hit him right in the face.

“…Agh! What the—No! I said no!” he cried, swatting it away. “Just leave me alone, you little…and stop listening to my thoughts; you’re not mine anymore…!”

“…What’s it doing…?” asked Dreadli.

“Nothing! It’s just being ridiculous,” Jack replied, glaring at it. “You know it is the longshot to end all longshots; and besides, neither of you can handle it…” he hissed.

“Are you talking to it? What’s it saying??” Dreadli demanded.

Finally, the Caramel Odsplut let out a long, high-pitched screech, making them both wince. Jack sighed, defeated.

“…Okay, so…to make a long story short…there’s a new plan on the table,” he said, pinching the bridge of his nose. He looked at Dreadli intently. “…How would you like to learn how to write…?”