《Nobody's Way》Chapter 15 - Maere's Hand
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Madrigal couldn't help but be amused by the fix his companion had found herself in. Jian, for all her "Maere this," and "Pathfinding that," and "I don't mind being alone for the rest of my life," had been saddled with a prancing, woo-woo partner-to-be, and she'd looked even more annoyed with Quinn by the end of their first full day together than Madrigal himself felt. In fact, his initial irritation with Quinn had been replaced by a sardonic curiosity. Watching Quinn pine so openly for Jian happened to be the funniest thing Madrigal had seen in a while.
The problem was that Jian made things worse by looking to him for relief from the tense atmosphere their party of three created. She chose to lay out her bedroll between Madrigal and a tree rather than the spot by the fire Quinn swept free of stones and branches, aimed her gaze at Madrigal even when speaking directly to Quinn, and quickly shut down attempts by her partner-to-be to help set up the camp. Madrigal didn't particularly care how Quinn felt, but he'd taken a liking to Jian in the days they'd been travelling together, and he sensed she was on edge. Jian's discomfort affected Madrigal, even as Quinn's irritation amused him, so he'd decided to toss her a vine and take her with him to find a fresh water supply while Quinn prepared their food. After all, Madrigal reasoned, she was the one who'd have to live with the guy someday. Maybe a little time away from her new betrothed would help Jian calm down enough to stop putting him in the middle.
Eyes down, Jian followed Madrigal from the main room to a footpath without a word. "Someone's marked it," he said, more to ease the silence than anything—Jian knew full well that a water source had to be this way. The remains of other camps, used by southbound wanderers from Aspen, all lay close by.
"I saw."
"I haven't been this far south before, but at least the signs are easy to read."
"Yes."
"And I heard beyond Aspen, the towns are closer together, too. The original settlements are all down this way. Fewer villages, more cities. Closer to Homeland."
"Yes, I've heard the same."
"I wonder why they even left." Madrigal kicked a stone from the footpath into the brush. "Weather's nicer here, and more places to trade with in the southlands. Don't know why anyone would choose to go to the frontier in the first place."
Jian didn't say anything.
"Do you want to talk about it?" He tried not to sound too concerned.
"The frontier?"
"No. About him."
She obviously did. Jian's enthusiasm for chatter, and for the interesting plants and signs along their route, had been discernably tempered by Quinn's arrival. "I don't know what to say."
"What's the problem?" Madrigal couldn't understand it at all. "You said you were fine with any Path Maere handed you. You even said you were a bit disappointed not to have a partner, didn't you? This one seems like he isn't a complete idiot, and even if you don't have much in Elsinoor to go by standards-wise, he's top tier. A Laudonian girl would be all over it. He has that 'bare chest, sitting under a waterfall meditating to connect with the Goddess,' sort of look to him."
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Jian seemed to stifle a laugh, but her good cheer only lasted a moment. "It's because of the boy in my visions. I thought he would turn out to be my partner. In every vision I see, that boy and I are so happy together. We're laughing, having fun, connecting in every way. And he obviously cares deeply for me."
The boy in the visions had been a hot topic since they'd left the cave, but Madrigal couldn't see sense in Jian pinning her hopes on a man she'd only managed to dream about, so far. Not that Quinn was much better, having only shown up after he had a dream, but at least he was tangible and real, and right there. "What about you?"
"I don't know." Jian pressed the tips of her fingers to her forehead. "The thing is, this still isn't what a Pathfinding vision is supposed to be like. I feel so much care and affection for him, and look at him the same way he looks at me. Even though in one of the visions, he's talking about leaving me alone, going somewhere, I just know he'll come back. I'd told him I would wait for him."
Madrigal's blood ran cold. Quinn's arrival added new complications to Jian's premonitions, premonitions that hadn't been easy to understand in the first place. Did the appearance of a different suitor in her Pathfinding mean something terrible would befall Quinn? Jian could be widowed at a young age, after all, and still see her mystery man in visions of her future. "You always call him 'the boy.' He's young, in your visions? So you might even meet him soon?"
"He's young," she confirmed. "Even younger than I am right now. He looks as if he has four and ten years, newly Pathed, but of course, those touched by the Goddess always look younger. Aselun's old enough to be an Elder, but at first glance, you would think her Mother's age."
This was new information for Madrigal. He'd heard being touched by the Goddess could make one appear young, but could it truly extend one's life? "Is that how it works?"
"Don't you think it must be? Aselun used to travel between villages, trading her pottery, so she arrived in Elsinoor as an adult. My grandmother herself was a child at the time. She had perhaps twenty years, or even more, over Grandmother, and she's hardly young, but you would never guess Aselun's age. I wonder if the boy in my visions is the same. His eyes seem wiser than his face."
"So it could be the far future." After Quinn, perhaps, though even if he didn't care much for Quinn, Madrigal didn't truly wish ill of him. Or for Jian to experience that kind of loss.
"It could, but I don't think so. I can't see myself in the vision, of course, because I always experience it more like a memory. But surely he and I must be close in age, as Maere maintains the generational cycle. She wouldn't match me with a man who was years and years junior."
In Laudonia, it was very common for men to change to younger partners—never the other way around. Madrigal decided to keep that information to himself. "And in your visions, he acts as if you two are--you're--"
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"On a partner Path together." The words came out a contented sigh. "Madrigal, I can't stop thinking about him. The way he looks at me, the curve of his cheek, the tilt of his head when he's speaking—I'm so drawn to him. I know he's my future. But Quinn says differently."
"Quinn saw you in his own visions," Madrigal reminded her. He himself hardly put stock in Maere's meddling, but Jian did, of course. "Why would your Goddess show Quinn a vision of you, but show you a vision—multiple visions—of a different man?"
He didn't dare suggest Dream Boy might not be a partner at all, considering how lovestruck she seemed. A more likely scenario was Quinn as a partner who simply didn't last. But how? Maere's Humans wanted for nothing and rarely fell ill as long as they lived by Her rules. Back home, Laudonians traded partners as effortlessly as the seasons changed, but living in the Goddess' world, everyone seemed contented with their lots in life. He'd never heard of a matchup where Maere had put two people on a Path together only to have them separate later. Why bother having them partner at all?
If it were Madrigal's own future at stake, he'd do as he wished, and damn Maere and her meddling. She couldn't tell him what to do. If he encouraged Jian to scorn Quinn in favour of her mystery boy, however, there would be no telling what might happen when they arrived at Homeland. Maere might refuse to see them both.
"You don't need to decide anything now," Madrigal found himself saying. "If you actually trust what your Goddess has been throwing at you every night, She'll keep sending you visions. And then you can ask Her for yourself, when we get there."
"But Quinn's already making a nuisance of himself," she said in a small voice. "I hate that he's taking it out on you. And looking at me with that expression on his face, when I'm thinking only about the boy in my visions."
Madrigal held back a snort of amusement. A year ago, he'd have told Jian to have fun with Quinn while she had him there, and think about her mystery boy when he actually showed up in the real world. After all, women without male partners had to lay with men eventually, if they wanted to have children, and he suspected the experience wouldn't be unenjoyable. What was the harm in acting like Quinn's betrothed, as Maere seemed to want, and re-evaluating things with the silver-haired boy when they had their first real meeting?
A year ago, though, Madrigal had been content to cycle through the constant stream of girls vying for his attention back home, and everything was different now. Madrigal himself was different. Had he known Niall would be in his future, he would have done anything in his power to meet her sooner, love her sooner. Keep her with him for as long as he could. He didn't dare give Jian advice that might affect her future with the Goddess-touched boy. Madrigal might not care for Maere's tactics, but Her actions had already swayed Jian's heart. Jian was clearly infatuated with this boy in a way Quinn couldn't hope to compete with.
He raised his chin, grinning. "There's nothing that guy can say that'll have any effect, so he can take it out on me all he wants. Think whatever he likes. If he wants to believe you're crazy about me, who cares? I'm not going to tell him differently. He doesn't get to decide how you think or feel, just because he saw you in a vision. In fact, I think irritating him is actually kind of fun."
She smiled faintly. "Well, I guess that might help, though I don't know what I'll feel if it turns out he's the real thing. The person I'll spend my life with."
Madrigal shrugged. "You don't know, so why worry about it? He doesn't seem so bad, just annoying, really. And like I said, he's easy on the eyes. If it were between him and me, anyone would take him first, for sure."
"That's only because you're always grumpy." Jian offered a tiny smile. "And a bit ragged."
One couldn't help but be ragged, and grumpy, when everyone they counted on screwed them over again and again. Madrigal suspected Quinn didn't have that kind of problem. "I look like a guy who can take care of himself," he corrected.
"You shouldn't need to, though. I know you said they weren't happy because you fell for a Kesmettan girl. But that's all in the past, right? You're not with her, so why hide? Why stay angry all the time?"
"You wouldn't get it."
"Try me."
He let out a controlled breath. Telling Jian what had happened with Niall wouldn't pose any real risks, not like the ones he'd faced as they left the northlands. By the time Jian returned to the frontier, Madrigal would be so far away he'd never lay eyes on his own kin or a Kesmettan ever again. Even if she weren't trustworthy, he'd be out of reach.
They still had a long way to go, though, before they would reach Homeland. His chest grew tight when he imagined Jian reacting to his story with scorn, or worse, another sermon about Maere. She'd barely concealed her disdain for the way things worked in Laudonia. As if she had a right to judge his people, when her precious Goddess went around toying with peoples' lives!
"It's obviously weighing on you."
"No," he said with finality. He couldn't talk about Niall. Not yet.
Jian, bolstered by the conversation's trajectory away from her own problems, pressed harder. "Come on. I told you what was wrong with me. Why won't you do the same?"
"Because we're not the same! Drop it!" He flung his flask away, punctuating the action rather than his words with annoyance. Niall always hated when he'd let anger creep into his voice.
The tin flask hit a large wayfinding stone with a reverberating clank and water exploded out of it, spraying the stone, the path, and Jian's blue boots. She fell silent, looking down at the warped tin with an expression somewhere between indignation and ready-to-cry.
Madrigal's guts churned. Niall, he felt sure, wouldn't have liked that any better than the yelling. He would have thrown it a thousand times, though, if that would have summoned her to show up and give him grief.
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