《Reincarnated as the God of Shitty Life Counseling for Defective Washed Up Waifus》Consultation 36.
Advertisement
Consultation 36.
“God, how do I confess to a slime?”
“Prepare it its favorite type of food. If you mix in a lot of love with your cooking when preparing their favorite food, the slime will be able to understand your intentions..”
“Slimes have a favorite food?”
“Yes, they do. What color is the slime you want to confess to?”
“Red.”
“Uh, just to make sure, is it a bright vibrant red or a deep crimson red?”
“Is there a difference?”
“Yes. There is a very big difference in their diets. Bright red ones eat lava.”
“Oh, I see. And what about the deep crimson ones?”
“That would be… the blood of human infants.”
“I see.”
“So, which one is it?”
“Well, now that I think about it, I think he’s actually half bright red and half crimson red.”
“Ugh.” This was the worst case.
“So how would I prepare its favorite food in this case?”
“Are you sure you want to know? To be honest I think you should just find a better slime. This slime is a bad boy who’s only going to break your heart one day.”
“I absolutely want to know, there is nothing that can stop my love for this slime. No slime could possibly replace him.”
“Then… the method is simple. You just need to combine its favorite foods. You will need to gather a bunch of infants and toss them into lava. I’ve heard the louder the infants scream, the tastier the food for the slime. Once all the infant’s screams die out, the lava infant stew is fully cooked and you can feed it to the slime.”
“That’s all I have to do to gain the affection of my dream slime?”
Advertisement
“What do you mean that’s all? You do realize the act you have to commit, right?”
“Yeah, just toss some annoying crying brats into lava and listen to the melodic screams of anguish as their skin melts and their bones are vaporized inside the lava, right?”
“... yeah… that.”
“I understand what I need to do god. Thank you very much for your guidance.”
How many babies are going to die because of this? Do I try to stop her? No, I can’t intervene. I can only guide them to the answer they are seeking out and turn a blind eye to whatever they do after acquiring that answer. What her twisted love toward a slime results in has nothing to do with me.
Advertisement
- In Serial15 Chapters
Dice of Infinite Fates
Every hundred years, the interplanetery council will start the World Survival Games and out of the millions of inhabited planets, one will be chosen to be the participant of this game. Billions of unwilling participants will participate in this glorious game and only a thousand will survive in this cruel game. What happens when Earth becomes the next participant? Before humanity is thrown into the meat grinder, everyone is given a chance to fight for their chance to survive. Some received powerful skills while others receives tyrannical weapons. For me, I receive the most powerful weapon of all. The ability to change fate! For many,this game is hell. For me this is paradise. Watch as I manipulate and scheme my way to the top. I will be updating this novel at minimum of at least 3 times a week.
8 733 - In Serial42 Chapters
Sparrow and Bright
When the stubborn barbarian Brunhilde meets the arrogant princess Hope they find themselves locked together by destiny. Exiled from their homelands, one by curse and one by choice, they struggle to find respect and meaning in lands filled with magic, horror and wonder. Their struggle forges friendship and shatters illusions, wakes ancient horrors and will one day break the sky in two. Come, sit by the fire and listen to the tale of Hope the Bright Princess and Brunhilde the Red Sparrow. [participant in the Royal Road Writathon challenge]
8 141 - In Serial7 Chapters
Silver Dragon Syndicate
A new type of Virtual Reality technology is released. This one takes reality to new levels. A fantasy game by the name of Celestial Realms takes the world by storm. Many people walk the path of warriors and mages. But seven adventurers will turn the world upside down with their journey. Join the Silver Dragon Syndicate and prepare for a...relaxing journey. Maybe.
8 188 - In Serial44 Chapters
Gamer
This story is abandoned and has not been authorized for distribution on any sites but RoyalRoad. Given the Gamer ability after shattering a crystal inside a game, Jon's world is upturned as he is thrown into a life he considered fantasy. Making new enemies and encountering a god, he cannot escape the quest which is forced on him. Different worlds and different situations, can he come out on top? He's neither perfect nor a saint, he is Jon. Welcome to Gamer. This has been dropped, I didn't like the way I forced a few plotpoints and I lost my notes on the story itself. Read below if you want to be spoilered. As far as I recall, he would change race into a higher human after using a spell to overload his mana repeatably until his body forcibly adapts, he would train up his rift usage spell with some better targets than God's Realm because he keeps hitting his stats limit until the cost lowers enough that he can actually grind it. His world is being invaded by multiple worlds, so the god had many backup plans where a lot of people went into their own fantasy settings and came back to defend Earth. Jon never is the strongest one out there, he has to keep grinding and grinding before he gets stronger than the other heroes, and at that point the invasion is nearing the final stretch. Jon's two biggest advantages is that he can keep grinding without hitting a cap he can't evolve, and that even when he is eventually killed. He would have respawned in the nearest 'Safe Zone' after dropping a level and everything he did to gain that level. I also had a bunch of ideas for mini-arcs where he would play in multiple worlds in multiple situations, not that great of an idea in retrospect.
8 96 - In Serial39 Chapters
Odyssey
The Year is 2020... An experiment decades in the making known as Project: Blue Monday rears its head. A Portal opens in Fort Lauderdale, and the government keeps it a secret from everyone. Immediately, it sends forces through the portal to secure it, and to escape from a dying planet Earth. Staff Sergeant Hezekiah Brooks is among them. He finds himself in a world of magic, elves, demi-humans, and dragons. As he fights against the ruling Iscariot Empire in the new world, he is forced to adapt to his new circumstances to survive. He finds a new family among his allies and a new enemy of his own making. Carefully, he must find a way back home... alive, keeping his ragtag squad of five soldiers - Unity - alive and safe. All while playing as a puppet for a creature of mysterious origin, who seemingly knows all and controls everything. He finds himself at the head of a revolution that will burn everything to the ground, just to build it all again... Hezekiah embarks on his Odyssey, to protect his family and to fight against the evils of both the worlds of New and Old...
8 150 - In Serial15 Chapters
Maze of Beasts
The Maze of Beasts a vast and dangerous realm. Seemingly endless in size, and containing a dizzying variety of monsters, it's the source of death and ruin but also riches and prosperity. Uncountable numbers of wannabe adventurers/hunters come to plunder anything of value, their corpses nourishing the very monsters they hoped to slay.Follow the journey of one man who escapes into the wilds of the Maze to free himself from enslavement and stumbles upon the power to command the Maze itself. *shameless sales pitch*Are you tired of your dungeonmasters leaving the dungeon, whining about things like 'peace is best,' being a hypocrite, acting like a retard, braking the tension for sake of a stupid joke, jumping to insane power levels or the story not finishing.Then come on down to Maze of Beasts emporium and gore manufacturer LLCHere we promise to maintain a modicum logic to the plot and worldbuilding.That the magic system has consistent rules and limitations.There will be an actual ending( no seriously I have a plan on where to take the story and how to end it.) Also on Scribblehub.
8 101
Prev Chap
Next Chap
Chap List
Boy
Girl
