《Reincarnated as the God of Shitty Life Counseling for Defective Washed Up Waifus》Consultation 34.
Advertisement
Consultation 34.

“God, I’d like to steal the souls of men and leave them lifeless husks but I want to save my virginity for marriage. How can I accomplish this?”
“Are you stupid? Just use that stupidly lewd venus fly trap tail of yours. That doesn’t count as popping your cherry, right?”
“No way, for me as a succubus, my tail counts as a sexual organ. There’s no way I can use it.”
“What the hell? Why are you trying to act all innocent when you’re a succubus?”
“I read a manga that moved me to tears and I wanted to be like the succubus in that manga. It’s obviously because it’s romantic. Do you have no taste, God?”
“Romance? A succubus is actually lecturing me on romance? What the hell is wrong with that head of yours? Did you hit it too hard when sucking off a stallion or something? Did they suffocate you resulting in brain damage?”
“Hmmph! You think a succubus can suffocate from their throat being blocked? I’ll have you know, I can breathe through my tail as well.”
Her tail shot up over the desk and lewdly opened up in front of me. There were trails of stringy saliva lining the fleshy inner cavity that gave it the appearance of a second mouth.
“I feel like my eyes are being violated. Please put that disgusting thing away.”
“Disgusting! You dare call it disgusting!”
I pinched my nose and asked, “Do you even clean that thing? Ugh, gross, it smells too. Just how many guys have used that thing?”
“Zero! None!”
“What? That can’t be right. Why does it smell so bad then?”
“Ugh… because I’m not eating enough.”
“Not eating enough?”
“Because I want to find my marriage partner and only use it directly on him. I’ve been using handjobs for the time being and feeding my tail by hand, but when a succubus doesn’t insert the male organ directly for a long time, we get a terrible urge to do it. Our body releases a hormone from our tails that humans find particularly enticing. To them, it smells irresistible to the point they turn into lustful beasts who try to do anything they can to insert directly into it on their own.”
Advertisement
“That nasty pungent smell is supposed to appeal to humans? What the hell is wrong with the guys in your world?”
She glared at me resentfully and asked, “God, you’re being rude. I’m a paying client. Hurry up and give me an answer to my question.”
“Tch. Fine. Ever hear of a fleshlight?”
“A… fleshlight? What about them?” She asked back dumbfoundedly.
“Just put the fleshlight inside your tail then let guys use that. You can think of it as though you’re putting a dildo in to get yourself off. The guy technically isn’t in direct contact with the fleshy portion inside your tail and you can still suck their lifeforce out of them through it like that.”
“That can work?”
“Of course it can. I’m actually more surprised that you’re dumb enough to not realize that.”
“I mean… I never really tried that. For succubi… using a fleshlight is a bit… how do I say… embarrassing? Succubi typically disdain kiddy toys like fleshlights and take pride in our own abilities.”
“Haaaaah. Amateur. Don’t you realize you only have so many methods to satisfy a number of men at once? If you utilize the power of technology, you’d be able to increase productivity and efficiency in the human milking industry. If a succubus executed this properly, they could strike it rich in the succubi world if they just put down that stupid pride of theirs.”
“What do you mean by that?”
“I mean, a succubus can only please so many people at once. But if you really wanted to, you could capture humans and turn them into cattle. Essentially what cows are to humans.”
“Just put them into a barn and attach fleshlights to their cocks with locks on them to prevent them from taking them off. You can automate them to periodically go off after X amount of time. Think about it, this way you’d be able to collect as much food as you want and even more. You could sell it off to other less fortunate succubi that are suffering in semen poverty. No longer would any succubi suffer through the great semen depression. You could build a human milking empire. And the most hilarious thing about it, men would line up in droves to willingly be turned into cattle.”
Advertisement
With each word that left my mouth, her eyes grew brighter and brighter.
“How has no succubus ever done this yet in your world? It honestly makes no sense to me. Why are they so stupid in your world?” I mean, this concept wasn’t anything new. I’d seen a few worlds where this industry had long been blown up out of proportions.
“Well, I guess there are dumbass succubi like you thinking about preserving virginity until marriage. Maybe that’s why.” I guess cultural differences exist even among succubi from one world to the next.
“God, I was blind. That I overlooked such an amazing opportunity is the greatest blunder of my life. No, not just my life, all the lives of the succubi in my world.”
“It’s good that you understand that. Now go. Go and build the cum empire of your dreams. One where no succubi will need to suffer through the cold night without some semen to satiate their appetite.”
“Yes! I will do my best and work hard! Thank you, God.”
Advertisement
- In Serial311 Chapters
The Law of Averages
What young boy doesn't crave adventure? What young man doesn't wish to be a superhero? But time marches on, and life grows dull with responsibility. Is it any wonder that old dreams are forgotten? Welcome to The Law of Averages: In which a man is dragged solidly out of his comfort zone. Be careful what you wish for, you never know when it will come true. This story follows Daniel Newman as he adjusts to a strange new world. One where superpowers are for sale, where heroics are frowned upon, and where life is constantly defying Daniel's expectations. Dan always thought that he was destined to be normal, but one world's normal is another world's special. The Law of Averages now has a Patreon page!
8 136 - In Serial8 Chapters
Wanderlust
After having been given a prophecy at the Imperial Palace in New Tokyo, Sumire decides she's going to do some soul searching on an adventure to fulfill it. Nobody knows where it'll lead to, least of all the people involved. Wanderlust is a fantasy, action / adventure through California after a nearly apocalyptical event shatters the United States into the Divided Territories of America. The new wild west has started filled with guns, mist, swords, armor, and of course magic spellslingers. It has multiple points of view, mainly following two women in a story of connection, revenge, and focuses heavily on character development. I hope you enjoy. - - - A note on tags: as of writing there is currently no sexual content, but that will change later as the story progresses.
8 92 - In Serial20 Chapters
The Forgotten Universe
In a world of where there are supposedly 10 parallel universes, Only nine remain known. The Capital universe is trying to both find this tenth universe to exploit it, and trying to rid the universes of "rebels". One such "rebel" is Drin, a Drowen, - subspecie of the Drow elves - formerly feared as the strongest knight within the Universal Realms (this whole world). Now, as a fugitive, he too, along with his friends and allies (all of whom are also extremely strong), look for the tenth universe. not to exploit it, but to save it. _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Although this series doesn't use the work of other creators, it has plenty of references and homages - both obvious ones and more obscure ones that require you to know the series being referenced. Hope you can find all of them. _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________ And most importantly, I hope that you enjoy this story and that it brightens your day - even a bit.
8 97 - In Serial146 Chapters
Cherry Scent
Scarlett Delmonico is your average teenage girl, she takes dance classes and plays volleyball. She lives with her single dad in Atlanta Georgia where he's a baseball coach, after a few moments of persuading, Scarlett finally agrees to see the team. It doesn't take Scarlett long to decide to try out for the team, her father thinks it's because it gives her something to do but in reality, it's someone on the team that gives her a certain bliss feeling. A Jaden Walton ff Started: March 3rd, 2022 Ended: April 2nd, 2022
8 618 - In Serial34 Chapters
Dracula's new Vampire Bride has arrived at the hotel. How will Mavis react to having a stepmother? How will Dennis react to having a grandmother?
8 212 - In Serial9 Chapters
My Muse // Life Swap AU // A Kagaminette Story
Marinette is the excitable and artistic daughter of the famed swordfighter, Tomoe Tsurugi. Kagami is the lonesome daughter of Paris' best bakers, Tom and Sabine Dupain Cheng. Both teens struggle with pressures only a parent can provide; Mari is expected to be rock hard, durable and unforgiving. Kagami is pushed to get out more, and make friends.They couldn't be more different, but when their paths cross, a miraculous plan to appease their nagging parents is born...
8 128

