Consultation 18.

“God, I want to NTR the world, how do I do this?”

“How to do that? Do I need a translator? If not, I must find one”

“Good luck everyone! If you can post more results, or organize them in one place, please do, thanks!”

“Edit: I also posted the question on tumblr as well as reddit. I'll try to give you the results when I have them, hopefully, tomorrow (2/11/12) morning.”

“Huh? God, is something wrong? Did you break?”

“Oh? Uh, well, you see. Sorry, let me try that one more time.”

I typed out the question, ‘I want to NTR the world, how do I do this?’ again on my phone and read the output.

“2 TRACKS "RIDDLE THAT" 1. When done right, it should be everything you've ever wanted or were really excited about! I feel like this contains the most potential in the game as a soundtrack, so don't be afraid to listen to it all the time if you get the chance! (Easy to do in a private meet up or a public webcam…) 1.5 TRACKS "THE LEVITATING EARTH" 1.5 TRACKS "WARPED BLUE" 1.5 TRACKS "RIDE BY NIGHT" 1.5 TRACKS "RUDE PUMPKIN PUSSY" 2 TRACKS "CASSIO" 1.5 TRACKS "HANNAH'S DEMON" 1.5 TRACKS "WILLO”

Signs of life drained from my eyes as I pondered over the profound depth hidden between the lines of the answer I gave her.

“God, can you please take this seriously?”

“Tsk. Okay, okay. I get it. I’ll do it for real this time. I swear.”

I input the question again and got another result.

“Why NTR? I am a Young Gay/Straight man, since early 17's, and would like to have love affairs with hetero men and lesbian women. I want to have an affair that is serious and gay, it would be like a relationship but more. I am a foreigner, and my partner(s) are American, but I am prepared to go to any place to have sex with them. What do you think? And please, what is the best way of following your dreams? Thank you, Esther A.”

“If you are looking for American gay men here are a few that you-”

I threw my phone on the ground in rage.

“Piece of shit AI! I thought I could make my job easier if you worked properly. AI can draw waifus but can’t write a freaking story yet? Tsk. We truly live in a god damn society alright!”

“Uh… what’s going on? Are you okay?”

“Am I okay? AM I OKAY! What do you think! We live in a society where cute pictures are valued over written words.” Like I give a shit about that. I’m all for cute pictures too. I just thought I’d stumbled upon an ingenious way to get my job done with minimal effort, but it was a damn bust. A dead end.

“Haaaah. Sorry, I’ll take this seriously now. You wanted to NTR the world, right? Okay, the way you can achieve this is simple. Become an idol that everyone loves and adores. Once you’ve captured the masses’ hearts, you just need to go on a show broadcasted across the globe and start fucking some random ugly fat pig. If you want to add insult to injury, you can use an actual pig and a lard ass human Pillsbury Doughboy, that should really let the NTR marinate deep into the bones of everyone across the globe.”

“OHH! That’s not a bad plan. I can already picture their faces of agony in my head as I’m being slammed against the ground from the front and back in such a manner.”

“Great, now get lost.”

Stupid AI, what the hell was with those shitty answers? I could hire a team of heavenly monkeys and put him in front of typewriters and one of them would come up with a better answer than that.

Eh? Wait a minute. What sort of answer did I just give that last chick again? I was too distracted by my disappointment in the AI that I wasn’t paying attention to what I was actually saying.

Let’s see, there was something about NTR, the world, becoming an idol, a pig, and... Pillsbury Doughboy? Huh? How does any of that go together into a question and answer? Well, whatever, not my problem. It probably wasn’t anything too bad. I’d remember if it was.