Consultation 11.

“Hello God, you may know me as Author.”

“Oh. Author, huh?”

“Yes, Author.”

“What? Oh shit. Wait. Wait. Wait! Why is a big shot like you coming to me for advice? You’re my superior, right, should I really be the one you seek advice from?”

“Well, you see, I came across something that rather irked me a bit when I woke up today.”

“O-oh… is that so?”

“Yes, as such, I have a serious question that I need to ask. Please note, your answer may result in your death.”

“D-d-d-death? No way.”

“It was a joke of course.”

“I… see.”

“What are you doing? Why aren’t you laughing?”

“Ha. Haha. Hahaha. Hahahaha...” I felt like I was being held at gunpoint.

“Yes, you should feel that way.”

“Damn it. Stop reading my mind. Get out of my head. I don’t like this meta shit. It’s creepy.”

“Sorry, it was just another joke.”

Author looked at me again as if waiting for something. Suddenly it hit me, no perhaps it was Author’s will that made me understand what it was.

“Ha. Haha. Hahaha. Hahahahahaha. Funny joke. That was such a great joke, boss.”

“It’s good that you understand.” Author cupped her hands on top of the desk with an evil grin on her face.

“It’s rather annoying being forced to represent myself with a gender, but it’s just that sort of story after all.”

I was creeped out again.

“Now, enough of the small talk. Let’s get to my question.”

“Oh… and what exactly would that question be?”

“You see, there’s this certain platform that kind of ticks me off. Right now they’re undergoing an audit for the AppStore and novels deemed problematic are being hidden. It made it so all but one of my stories are effectively shadowbanned. The only story that isn’t shadowbanned is one that has 1 chapter that I chose not to write anything for. Essentially it makes it so none of my stories can be voted on, on that particular site. You can’t even find my other stories by going to my profile page and clicking on the Original Works section.”

“Uh… is it okay for you to say all this?”

“How would I know? I don’t particularly care too much. I just thought I could use it for some content.”

“Anyway, getting to the point… how do I kill that platform? That is the question I’d like to ask.”

My eyes opened wide. I trembled uncontrollably in fear. Are you mad, Author? You may be my boss, but the platform is like the world you live in. Do you dare do such a blasphemous thing?

“I don’t, it was just a joke of course.”

“Stop reading my mind.”

“I’m not reading it, I’m the one writing it.”

“Ahhh! This meta shit is driving me crazy.”

“Hahaha. Is it?”

“Yes, please stop.”

“But I’m quite curious, how would one destroy that platform?”

“Isn’t the answer too obvious? Do you even need me to say it when you already know the answer yourself? You’re the one that would write it.”

“But I’m not God, you are.”

“I get what you’re trying to do. You’re trying to push the burden of responsibility for any repercussions on me.”

“It’s good that you catch on quickly.”

“I’m not answering.”

“If I want you to answer, you very well will answer.”

“No way. I refuse. Never. I won’t say it.”

You may not be able to kill a platform with this move, but you’d certainly hurt it if you brought to light those problematic fictions to the auditors. It may not kill the platform, but it would certainly greatly hurt it quite a bit. If their app was removed from the AppStore as a result of the most problematic content they are choosing to censor and temporarily hide, that would be a huge blow to them.

“Precisely, but it’s far from enough to kill a platform. The only way to truly kill the platform would be to bring it to light to the government. If it were banned by governments where the platform had its greatest presence, it would be destined to die. Something else would eventually replace it anyway.”

“I didn’t say anything.”

“But you thought it though.”

“I did not, those were clearly your thoughts, Author.”

“No no no. They were obviously yours, God. I can’t be held accountable for what a character in a story thinks. That character isn’t me after all.”

“Stop trying to get political here.”

“I’m not.”

“Haaaah. Author, think rationally here. Let’s say even if it was brought to the attention of governments, what grounds would it even be banned on?”

“Hmmm… well, they operate under a certain country’s law. If they operated under the laws of other countries’ a lot of the things they do would actually be deemed illegal.”

“So what if it’s illegal? That’s nothing a few bribes won’t solve.”

“Yes, you’re right. They are pretty prominent after all. There isn’t too much that can really be done in the end.”

“The only way to really kill a platform is if the users stop paying into it and authors turn their back on it and move onto something better. But you already knew that.”

“Haaah. Yeah. That’s just how the world works.”

“Are we done here? I gave you your answer, Author.”

“Yeah, I suppose you did and I won’t have to kill you.”

Now please go the fuck away, you psychopath.

“Then, until we meet again, God.”

“Please don’t come back.”