《Reincarnated as the God of Shitty Life Counseling for Defective Washed Up Waifus》Consultation 8.
Advertisement
Consultation 8.

“How does one fuck an orphanage?”
“Hah? Sorry, what?” I pinched my forehead trying my utmost to process what sort of fucked up request this was.
“I want to fuck an orphanage, how do I do it?”
“So I didn’t mishear that? I see. I see.” Yep, another twisted bitch as per the usual.
“When you say you want to fuck an orphanage, what exactly do you mean by fuck?”
“It’s entirely up to your interpretation.”
“Oh? I can pick?”
“Yeah.”
“Hmm… then… if you really want to fuck an orphanage… I’d suggest first cutting off their food supply. They’d be pretty fucked if you do that. Once that has been accomplished, the next step would be to show up at their front door with hot dogs dangling out your snatch. Tell the orphans they can have your food, but they can only use their mouths and not hands. Repeat this process every day until the orphans are fully dependent on eating you out. Eventually, they will become your brainwashed little sex slaves who will do anything you ask of them as the snatch that feeds them.”
No one could possibly go through with this sort of outrageous plan, right?
… Why am I even questioning it? I already know the answer deep down. The bright light in her eyes was more than enough to tell me the cold-hearted reality.
We exchanged no further words. She stood up from her seat then bowed in my direction before she left in silence with a merry skip in her step and a wide satisfied smile on her face.
I’d already accepted that trying to tell them not to do it did nothing to deter these broken women. These bitches were all crazy and devoid of any sort of decency. Oh well, what my clients do after receiving my life consultation has nothing to do with me. I’m just doing my job trying to make a living here.
Advertisement
- In Serial10 Chapters
Four idiots in a shed
Now available on dead tree or good old new-fangled e-ink - https://books2read.com/u/b5lLGp The first world war never stopped, almost seventy years later the fighting is at a stalemate. Germany control most of Europe whilst Japan rules most of the world. Guy runs a scrap merchant in what used to be the UK, profiting from decommissioning old military hardware, his friends Rich and Nik work with him, closely monitored by the Jackbooted militia whose job it is to control the civilians. Colin wants to do his bit to help free the people from oppression, he has ideas and a laboratory but no real plan. Perhaps together they can work something out, especially once Colin hears there might be time travel involved. All characters and events in this story --even those based on real people-- are entirely fictional.
8 94 - In Serial6 Chapters
Tangent Villainy
We all know the cycle, good beats evil, people will get reincarnated into another world, only good guys get another chance. But what if someone who didn't have the best track record got reincarnated into another world? And they totally screwed up. And now the heroes are knocking at their castle door. Maybe they'll get another, another shot.
8 151 - In Serial35 Chapters
diagnosed
my lil online journal! hehe its a sneak peek into my life u whoresin all seriousness this is very personal and even though i joke around these are my actual thoughts so id really like if you could at least read the most recent parts :)theres no need to respond but i wish someone is reading what i wrote lol hella typos sry, when i write in this theres always to many thoughts to worry abt writing like an actual educated teenim trash dont be surprised at first i thought i didn't want any interaction or commenting on this whatever you want to call it, but honestly feel free. i want to know what people think, so im encouraging it. but do fucking not, try to convince me otherwise. it doesn't do jack shit but make someone feel worse. ive heard the basic "theres more to live for" and "think of others" crap way to many times so don't piss me off more. but beyond that, please communicate if you want! i love hearing other people's thoughts!this is maybe one of the most embarrassing and out there thing i have ever written or revealed to anyone. these have my most intimate thoughts and experiences which im sorry if they seem overdramatic. i only have it here bc i was using it as a collective online journal that was easy to hide from people but i decided to publish it as a cry for help yay. (its been 2 hours and i unpublished the really embarrassing parts bc im a wimp)names can either be changed, modified, or just shortened bc im lazy but im a complete stranger so you'll never knowif the errors bother you suck it up if you want to keep reading ig but im not going to change anyhting if i dont feel like it oops
8 81 - In Serial12 Chapters
Becoming Itachi Uchiha in a Different world!
Good bit of your time. (maybe...not) Based off of Naruto and IDWWNS. Warning : Contains profanity usage, a bit of sexual content, and gore. Introduction: 37 year old, Charlton Triston was a huge fan of Naruto. At first, he thought it was some random anime his colleagues wanted to torture him with, but as he watched episode after episode, he became addicted to the fighting secenes, justus, but most of all, The Sharingan. (Most thought he was too old for something so childish. However he didn't mind.) His favorite character was Itachi Uchiha, because of his tranquility and intellegence. He even admired Itachi for planning the future for Sasuke. On one saturday morning, Charlton Triston was driving to the store where popular manga was sold, he was caught up in an accident (truck-san), so in order to keep his childern safe, he sacrifced himself... ........ "Welcome Charlton, atlthough it feels rushed, but you shall be reincarnated into a world that will be similar to the anime you will choose." Happily said the odd voice. Ranks for Different World: -G,G, -F,F, -E,E, -C,C, -D,D -B,B, -A, A, -S, S Academy Student, Genin, Chuunin, Jounin, Special(SS) Jounin, Kage, Other : Medical-ninja, S-class, Missing-ninja, Hunter-ninja, Courier-ninja, Disclaimer : I do not own Naruto nor anything associated to it. As it is owned by Kishimoto. Any images or quotes are owned by their respective owners. I'm not accurate with my naruto knowledge, so please, deal with it.
8 114 - In Serial17 Chapters
A Cleric's Life for me.
This is a casually written story loosely based on TTRPG games like DnD and Pathfinder. The attempt of the story is to have a slow growth in power and comical set of characters who eventually grow close and set off for more serious adventures. There will be plenty of familiars and funny tales that don't involve combat. The intention is not to be a goody-two-shoes cleric story where nothing bad happens. The intention for this story was a slow paced grungy story where everything seemed great at first and things just kept getting worse. I learned how shitty of a story that is to write and honestly I am just not good enough to get the idea down. I plan on revisiting it later.
8 202 - In Serial56 Chapters
Love Poems ♥
Stephen Chbosky once said, "We accept the love we think we deserve." This is not just a collection of poems but my feelings compiled together ♥ Enjoy!
8 59

