《Reincarnated as the God of Shitty Life Counseling for Defective Washed Up Waifus》Consultation 4. (CENSORED)
Advertisement
Consultation 4.
“God, how do I have sex with a CENSORED?” Those dreadful words that could only come from a monster actually came from a pair of earnest eyes filled with innocence and boundless curiosity.
“Hah? Sorry, I think I misunderstood your problem. Can you please repeat that?”
“How do I have sex with a CENSORED?” Once again, I was confused as I couldn’t detect an ounce of malice in her question.
“What the hell do you mean how do you have sex with a CENSORED? Why do you even want to know that?”
“Well, you see I recently got CENSORED because I wanted to find out this very question. What does it feel like to have sex with a CENSORED? Ever since the question entered my head I just couldn’t stop thinking about it.”
What the fuck is wrong with you? This bitch is for real? You’ve got to be shitting me.
“Well, God? You’re the only one I believe can answer this question. Every other person I’ve asked immediately throws up, but I can tell you’re different.”
“I’m different? How?”
“You didn’t throw up immediately like the rest of those little pussys who shied away from my question in disgust.”
Who the fuck is reccomending these bitches with these sorts of fucked up problems to me?
“God, please answer me. I need to know,” she implored with such earnesty that I couldn’t find it in myself to not answer.
“Take a CENSOR BAR…”
“Yes. And what?”
“Shove it up CENSORED PLACE… then stir around until all that’s left inside your CENSORED REGION is mush.”
“That’s not a good enough answer, that’s just using a CENSOR BAR, not the CENSORED.”
“I’m… not done.”
“Sorry, please continue.”
Advertisement
“Hold a CENSORED ITEM stretched out beneath and drain the contents out into it. Once you’re done... you can use the filled up CENSORED ITEM to… you know.”
“That’s…”
“Too much, right? You can’t really go and do something like that, right? That’s just too fucked up even for you, right?”
“Fucked up? In what way? You’ve shown me the light. I never considered such a unique method before. I was only thinking of using the CENSORED whole. To think there was such a degenerate way to use it that surpassed my degeneracy. They were right… you really are an amazing god.”
I wanted to cry. I bit my lip and blood trickled down the side.
“Then… I’ll be taking my leave now. Thank you very much for this very enlightening life consultation.”
“Huh? Uh… yeah, sure. Get lost now and never come back, you hear?” I somehow scarred myself. I can never unthink what I thought of and conveyed to her just a now.
“Don’t worry I’ll be sure to come back if I have another problem, it’s a promise.”
“Wait-“
Slam.
She was gone.
Advertisement
- In Serial12 Chapters
The Navigator
I'm a navigator. This essentially means it's my job to ferry goods and/or people from point A to point B. I know, shocking, but here's the thing. I don't navigate the seas or stars. Hell, I don't even have a ship, craft, vessel or vehicle of any description. 'What is it you navigate, then?' you may ask. The chaotic nonsensical void between neighboring realities. That's what. [Participant in the 2018 NaNoWriMo RoyalRoad challenge.]
8 149 - In Serial12 Chapters
Arcane Engines: Alchemist’s Scheme
A seemingly chance encounter with an ancient machine and an assassination attempt threaten to disrupt Veil’s education at the premier mage academy of Ithalaan. The bombings and terrorist actions that follow throw the entire region into chaos and draw him inexorably deeper into a mystery involving cults, gods, and ancient mysterious races. These events threaten Veil’s carefully crafted plans, but there are few limits on his ambition. He is willing to do whatever it takes to advance his schemes to become a Magus, including pursuing the illegal discipline of soul magic. While Veil isn’t a powerful mage yet, his spell wrought guns and illicit abilities will help even the playing field. The need to face down his enemies and fulfill his ambitions will send him desperately searching from Forerunner ruins in the Great Northern Forest to ancient abyssal cities within the depths of the planet. _________________________________________________________________ The book is primarily fantasy with a steampunk background. Science fiction elements won't be introduced for quite some time. I currently update my work at a rate of one chapter per week. I'm also in the process of editing chapters 1 - 7, changing the format to make it more readable, and introducing more show and less tell. The reworked chapters will have (edited) after the title. All chapters after 8 have already been written in the new style. I have a Patreon page if you wish to donate. Also, there will be intense situations, some explicit violence, and although it is not an erotic work, one or two sex scenes.
8 154 - In Serial13 Chapters
Kitsune in Rockford
Kit is an anomaly. The only male kitsune around. I mean sure there's beastkin with some fox traits around but nothing like him. How does having a power above your class affect your thinking? where do you go if you are the only one who thinks differently? (Some notes: will update irregularly, sugestions welcome, and I appologize now for deplorable grammar. ) Also I have the first two arcs planned in general, but sugestions welcome. (Please be civil about it though) Mature tag considering negative culture traits and ideas. No sex in this series. Light swearing. Violence. picture from: Kouan Kitsune by Claparo-Sans on deviantART
8 133 - In Serial13 Chapters
The Ginsu Mage
Currently in queue: Episode 13 in progress. Set in the Aurora: Apocalypse universe.Updated every Friday. If it's not updating, I'm working on my other fictions.If nothing's updating, I ran out of whiskey. Be patient. The Gunsu Mage is a hot mess of garbage that should not be taken seriously by anyone. It’s a vaguely-GameLit spoof of Isekai wa Smartphone to Tomoni (In Another World With My Smartphone) where the MC ends up in another world and fused with his kitchen applicances, mashed up with fantasy western elements. Dungeons & Dragons meets the Wild West in an alternate high-fantasy timeline. Guns & Goblins. Cowboys & Wizards. Locomotives & Dwarves. Don’t expect great writing, accurate numbers, or common sense. Hell, don’t expect anything — just relax and let it happen.
8 209 - In Serial75 Chapters
Water and Ice | Shoto Todoroki
⌜ Y/n is finally on her way to the school she's wanted to attend since she was a child. Surrounded by powerful classmates at UA, she's immediately thrown into the whirlwind of making friends, enemies, and training to become a hero. However, it's a little hard to focus when a red and white haired boy is constantly occupying your thoughts. 」__________➳ credit for bnha world components to kohei horikoshi➳ credit to original artists for pics at the top of chapters➳ loosely based on bnha timeline➳ some events and almost all interactions are stuff i come up with➳ slow burn even tho it looks rly fast at first lol__________➳ all rights reserved➳ not mature➳ rly cringe➳ completed➳ unedited
8 59 - In Serial12 Chapters
This is a My Hero Academia fan fiction. This character is not in the anime she is of my own creation. I wanted to create something original so I came up with this. A girl, not knowing what here past wakes up in a unfamiliar place. A brother who she never has met and a world she never knew Existed. With many twist and turns she finds out the truth about her forgotten past that she never would have thought of. Also there is a little abuse and drinking involved with the plot so be aware of that and also there is a death too. Little Manga Spoilers if MHA too. ☺️
8 143
Prev Chap
Next Chap
Chap List
Boy
Girl
