《Reincarnated as the God of Shitty Life Counseling for Defective Washed Up Waifus》Consultation 4. (CENSORED)
Advertisement
Consultation 4.

“God, how do I have sex with a CENSORED?” Those dreadful words that could only come from a monster actually came from a pair of earnest eyes filled with innocence and boundless curiosity.
“Hah? Sorry, I think I misunderstood your problem. Can you please repeat that?”
“How do I have sex with a CENSORED?” Once again, I was confused as I couldn’t detect an ounce of malice in her question.
“What the hell do you mean how do you have sex with a CENSORED? Why do you even want to know that?”
“Well, you see I recently got CENSORED because I wanted to find out this very question. What does it feel like to have sex with a CENSORED? Ever since the question entered my head I just couldn’t stop thinking about it.”
What the fuck is wrong with you? This bitch is for real? You’ve got to be shitting me.
“Well, God? You’re the only one I believe can answer this question. Every other person I’ve asked immediately throws up, but I can tell you’re different.”
“I’m different? How?”
“You didn’t throw up immediately like the rest of those little pussys who shied away from my question in disgust.”
Who the fuck is reccomending these bitches with these sorts of fucked up problems to me?
“God, please answer me. I need to know,” she implored with such earnesty that I couldn’t find it in myself to not answer.
“Take a CENSOR BAR…”
“Yes. And what?”
“Shove it up CENSORED PLACE… then stir around until all that’s left inside your CENSORED REGION is mush.”
“That’s not a good enough answer, that’s just using a CENSOR BAR, not the CENSORED.”
“I’m… not done.”
“Sorry, please continue.”
Advertisement
“Hold a CENSORED ITEM stretched out beneath and drain the contents out into it. Once you’re done... you can use the filled up CENSORED ITEM to… you know.”
“That’s…”
“Too much, right? You can’t really go and do something like that, right? That’s just too fucked up even for you, right?”
“Fucked up? In what way? You’ve shown me the light. I never considered such a unique method before. I was only thinking of using the CENSORED whole. To think there was such a degenerate way to use it that surpassed my degeneracy. They were right… you really are an amazing god.”
I wanted to cry. I bit my lip and blood trickled down the side.
“Then… I’ll be taking my leave now. Thank you very much for this very enlightening life consultation.”
“Huh? Uh… yeah, sure. Get lost now and never come back, you hear?” I somehow scarred myself. I can never unthink what I thought of and conveyed to her just a now.
“Don’t worry I’ll be sure to come back if I have another problem, it’s a promise.”
“Wait-“
Slam.
She was gone.
Advertisement
- In Serial63 Chapters
Strangers in the West [COMPLETE]
Athshin, the Western Continent, is often called a dying land. it is a wasteland of rocks, dust, and ruins. The people there cling to the past as they tell stories of the old empire and fantasize of how it could be revived. But not all who seek to restore Athshin have the purest methods in mind. It is in this land that five travelers, strangers to eachother and Athshin itself, find themselves lost and stripped of their belongings. Although they initially unite under the common goal of survival, they slowly find themselves uncovering a tangled web of zealotry and deception that could endanger the soul of the Western Continent. This is a high fantasy story set in a land inspired by the folklore and cultures of Central and South America. There will be four POV characters that will be switched between as needed. Expect new chapters on the weekend. Thank you for your time.
8 210 - In Serial6 Chapters
Immortal
In the world of Etheria there exist magic. All types of races you can imagine and in this world, the strong dominate the weak.In this world only five known people achieved the Immortality. Immortality makes them young forever and allows them to never die from age. But they can die, if they are killed.Most of the immortals are known mostly as powerful Elders, even if they don't look old, and stay inside their houses or clan's improving every second they can to achieve what they want. The God Realm.The story follows the First Immortal, and the youngest one achieving immortality, who can't die even if she tries. She's the first to reach the peak of cultivation, the God Realm.It's not because she reached the God Realm, that she can't die, it's just that she was blessed with a great power. Her body heals right away when it's damaged. Sometimes it doesn't even show the wound. And let's just say that she is a women full of secrets and surprises.""" I've been stabbed in the heart before. I've been shot by magic, multiple times. I'm fine now, but I wouldn't recommend it."""" ~ AthaliaFollow Athalia Vélios, two hundred year old Immortal/Goddess, as she has fun in the world she actually didn't know as much as she thought.- Still don't know if I will add the mature tag- I don't own the photo, don't mind that thingy she has on her eyebrows. Ignore it xD
8 86 - In Serial14 Chapters
Little Beirut
Walter is a tanuki in a fictional version of Portland inhabited by animals. Nearing middle age, Walter has a comfortable career in TV news, which allows him to indulge his more expensive tastes. He has a big house, a big car, and a big reputation. After a spat with his girlfriend ends with injury and a trip to the emergency room, Walter finds himself nearing a mid-life crisis. While his professional life has never been better, his private life begins to race out of control. Impulse purchases, rebound relationships, a renewed sense of youthful recklessness all begin to quickly threaten his peaceful life of solitude.
8 82 - In Serial11 Chapters
The Sanctuary of Dust
Luca hates angels, hates the Underworld and hates being bossed around more than anything. When the ruler of the Underworld asks him to go find the Seer's heir in the human world, he knows it's only a question of time until he gets involved in some epic trouble. As he is dragged in a power game between Heaven and the Underworld, he might find the strength to mend a broken friendship, get over his troubled past, and even to defy the angels.
8 79 - In Serial23 Chapters
The Fight We Chose
"No one starts a war—or rather, no one in his senses ought to do so—without first being clear in his mind what he intends to achieve by that war and how he intends to conduct it."- Harold G. Moore November 22nd, 1963: The eyes of the world turn to the American city of Dallas, Texas, where normality has been forever shattered. An attack the likes of which the world has never seen before has turned the Cold War on its head as the new factor in the silent conflict threatens the balance. The world already teetering on the brink of war, the United States and those that lead it now have to balance a new threat, fantastical in origin, alongside the many others that come with the turbulent era of the 1960s. Eras collide. Values clash. The nature of war remains unchanged.
8 133 - In Serial13 Chapters
Queen of Poetry: Trials of Pain
A series of poems relating to relationship experiences and expressions of love, relationships, friendships, deception, and growth.
8 106

