Consultation 3.

“God, I’ve been recommended to you by a friend of mine. I have a great problem,” said the brown-haired woman with ruby eyes and an unreasonably large rack sitting across from me.

“A great problem you say? No shit, you wouldn’t be here if you didn’t. Get to the point Miss Tits For Brains.”

She ignored my form of address and explained her concerns with an eerie smile, “You see, I can’t stop myself from having sex with every guy I see.”

“And you want to stop?” Could it possibly be someone who actually wants to become a better person sought me out for advice for a change?

“Stop? Are you crazy! Why would I want to stop when it feels so good~!”

The small hope I had for the human race instantly died.

“Stupid whore, where the hell is the problem then?”

“The problem is I want to know how I can satisfy more guys at once when I only have three holes, two hands, and two legs.”

“Please just kill yourself.”

“I obviously can’t do that.”

“Tsk. Why not just go fuck a necromancer, have him resurrect you?”

“How would that help with my problem?”

“You can increase the number of holes in your body to please more guys that way. There are six additional ones on your head, aren’t there? Then you can also open up more holes in your body since you’ll be undead, right?”

“Your advice is effectively necrophilia?”

“Of course not. Don’t take such a stupid suggestion seriously. I was just saying it to scare you. Don’t go and do something stupid like that. It’s honestly disgusting, no guy would want that sort of thing.”

“Stupid suggestion? Why are you calling it a stupid suggestion when it’s the perfect answer I was looking for?”

“Wait! No no no! Stop!”

Slam.

I sat in my seat with trauma stricken eyes. These bitches were crazy, completely out of their fucking minds. Just what the hell is wrong with their heads that they’re this defective?