No, not a moon. Sunlight.

“Erebus.”

Thu’lain’s whisper jolted the rest of the group out of their trance as they all turned to stare at him in disbelief.

“The magic is coming from Erebus?” Tin’lo’s voice was confused and he looked like he’d been knocked over the head.

“It must have drawn Il’tan here.” Hret began walking towards Il’tan, concern plainly plastered across his face. She seemed to notice his approach, and across her face was an expression of serenity.

“It’s beautiful, Dad,” Il’tan murmured quietly, in the way that she could have been mistaken for being intoxicated and indeed, she was in a way. The feeling of the warmth of the sun and basking in the waves of essence as it poured through the tear soaked deeply into her, as it did for all elves. Only, it was her first time feeling it, and the sensations left her feeling as if she was floating in a warm cloud.

Hret gently placed a hand on her shoulder and she smiled at him. He looked up into the tear hovering in the sky and the warm sunlight that beamed down on him.

“It is beautiful. Come here now, Il’tan.” Hret carefully nudged her further away from the tear and she wandered with him at a leisurely pace.

While Hret pulled Il’tan aside, Thu’lain hurriedly searched for a way to reach the tear.

It’s too high up. These trees can’t reach.

Still, his next actions were to try and climb the closest tree to the tear and he rose quickly to the top, heedless of the sounds he made while he rose.

“Thu’lain, what are you doing?” Tin’lo nearly moved to try and reign in Thu’lain, until he saw the frenzied look on his face that made him feel uneasy. He would not interfere with whatever Thu’lain was trying to accomplish.

Thu’lain balanced high in the closest tree to the tear, paying no attention to what anyone else was saying - to him it was all background noise. He looked from where he was to the tear and part of him wanted to attempt the leap.

It’s still too far. Even if there were trees growing directly under it, I doubt I could get high enough to reach it. There’s no telling how high up the tear could be in Erebus, either. I could have jumped through only to find that I would die from the fall.

Thu’lain sulked queitly in the tree, far from content as he watched the tear oh so slowly sealing itself. It was much larger than the portal the fairies had darted through; this one would comfortably fit an elephant. He started feeling that same sinking dread he had before: it was so close again, but just out of reach. It was torment. It wouldn’t be so bad if he could just know if his people were alright. But they’d had to survive without him.

He suppressed the resurging feeling of guilt - he’d had plenty of practice with it over the years. He shook his head, a grimace on his face; logically he knew he wasn’t guilty because he didn’t abandon them.

There was nothing I could do. Erebus expelled all of the elves when the seal was completed.

He stole a glance to Tin’lo, and then back at the camp as he thought of Trat’catha and how he’d prepared to defend Anosora, the suffering Anar’dea had encountered in the aftermath. Raj’ken may have had it the best, if not for how she was always told - indirectly or directly - of what she missed out on: at least she had lived well and learned to thrive without the weight of so much lost.

I wasn’t there for them, either. I wasn’t anywhere where I should have been.

He looked up to the tear once more, this time taking in the warmth of the light. He could feel the essence surging through him and saturating the air around him. He could feel his body surge with vigor - it wasn’t the same as the last tear that merely trickled essence into the world. Even the gnawing despair he’d started to feel was being pushed out of him with the torrent of power.

I will return in time.

Thu’lain closed his eyes as he soaked up the essence as it poured forth - he felt like a dry lake being fed by a massive torrent of rain.

Tin’lo wondered still what Thu’lain had planned, climbing up high into the tree like he had. He was sure that the surging essence would be just as strong at ground level. He heard Trat’catha approach from behind, whispering reverently.

“Spirits, I forgot what it felt like to be… ” Trat’catha trailed off as he considered what he meant to say, “... whole again.” Trat’catha stopped near Tin’lo, his eyes open to the sky and he noticed Thu’lain up in the tree and frowned sadly.

“Thu’lain’s fine. I don’t know why he’s up there, but he’s been there for a minute now,” Tin’lo offered. He wasn’t sure what was making Trat’catha react the way he was, but he figured a little assurance would be appreciated. Trat’catha nodded and pretended to be mollified.

He must miss Erebus and all that he was forced to leave behind.

Trat’catha shook himself from his thoughts, determined to enjoy this moment, and steeled his resolve - this was proof enough that the seal between worlds was collapsing and reclaiming Anosora was more than just a distant hope.

Trat’catha smiled; he knew the armor and the weapons could absorb the essence as well, since the tear wasn’t knitting itself closed very quickly.

“We can’t waste this opportunity. Go gather our equipment,” Trat’catha ordered as he took off at a sprint.

“Oh, this is gonna be sweet!” Raj’ken eagerly chased after Trat’catha, waving Anar’dea afterher.

“Wait for me!” Il’tan cried out; Hret had more or less gotten her focused back in the moment, though he still didn’t grasp the significance of the event. He left with Il’tan to help grab equipment that they could carry quickly back.

They left the clearing with excited energy mixed with happiness. Tin’lo, too, left Thu’lain in the tree and decided he would grab his armor for him, since he still carried his weapons.

Thu’lain slowly climbed down from the tree after they left the clearing, alone with himself and his regrets, to which he could add one more.

If I could have reached the tear, I would have passed through without a second thought. Trat’catha, Tin’lo, Anar’dea, Raj’ken, Tu’lar and Il’tan would have been left without my aid.

I’d have abandoned them to whatever fate they had.

Thu’lain took a heavy breath, letting it build in his chest and released it slowly.

I’ll see them to Anosora; if my kingdom still stands in Erebus, it will stand for another few weeks without me.

He heard the sound of light footsteps coming back into the clearing and turned to see Raj’ken.

“Thu? You gonna stay up there all night?” Raj'ken asked from the edge of the clearing, her eyes shifting from the sunlit portal to him, carrying an echo of concern.

“You doin okay?” She stepped up to Thu’lain and grabbed his arm.

“I abandoned Anosora. I had my own kingdom to protect. But it doesn’t change the fact. I could have made a difference.” He breathed deeply and thought about how to explain what he meant.

“What makes you think you could’ve made a difference? You're one person, so it’s hardly your fault. Besides, the council dragging their feet had more to do with everything, hearing Trat’catha explain things.” Raj'ken reassured him. He shook his head.

“I could have. Did you know that the council had a level of authority above them?”

“I didn’t, but what’s that got to do with-” Confusion was clear on her face.

“They are called Everlight Guides. The oldest of our kind. They weren’t well-known because most of them decided to explore the deepest reaches of the world.”

“During the fall of Anosora, there was only one Everlight Guide conscious and even remotely near Anosora.” He looked back up at the beacon of light in the sky.

“And he was busy taking care of humans in Erebus. He put them in more danger by staying, no doubt. He couldn’t bear the thought of leaving them on their own. He could have come back to Anosora and urged the council to do more than defend against the apex, he could have been there to strike against them definitively.”

“You’re talking about yourself, right?” Raj'ken quirked her brow and shook Thu'lain's arm.. “You think you're somehow responsible for all of this? I’m sorry, Everlight Guide or not, that’s just too much to expect any one person to carry. I swear Thu, maybe I preferred you when you were sullen and quiet.” Raj'ken smirked and gave him a light tap on the arm.

“You’re here now with us. If you are an Everlight Guide, then guide us. We’re not dead yet, and neither is Anosora.” Raj'ken placed her hand on her waist while she spoke. “So you were worried about a whole kingdom of people and tried to help them. That doesn’t mean you abandoned Anosora. Just like my mom choosing to stay in the springs to make sure she could give birth to me instead of joining the other healers doesn't mean she abandoned her people.”

“I would have left just now if I could have reached the portal.”

“Yeah, but you didn’t. I don’t believe for one second that you could have just left us. You’d have gotten close and guilted yourself last second, I guarantee it.” Raj’ken smiled and this time she grabbed Thu’lain by the wrist and gave him a good tug. He couldn’t help but smile and laugh.

“You’re terrible at comforting someone.”

“Yeah, and you have no sense in that skull of yours. Explains some things, though,” she jabbed back with a twinkle in her eye as she began to walk back toward camp.

“Like what?”

“Why, you go after the apex all the time. Seems to me you go after them to alleviate your guilt or something.” She didn’t look back for a confirmation.

“It’s also fun.”

“There’s the psycho. Good to have you back,” Raj’ken chuckled. Thu’lain rolled his eyes, then caught himself, surprised - he hadn’t been comfortable with someone like this since, well, a very long time.

“Thank you.”

Raj’ken noticed the warmth in his voice and smiled to herself. She kept holding onto Thu’lain as she pulled him to the camp, but let her hand slide down to his. He didn’t pull away.

Score, me!

She was smiling happily as they strode into camp, letting go of Thu’lain as she made a beeline to her gear.

“Hey Thu! Catch!” Tin’lo lobbed Thu’lain’s bundled armor at him, and he caught it smoothly.

“Thanks Tin.” Thu’lain realized he had already been smiling, so he kept it going. He noticed Trat’catha start running through the camp with armfuls of equipment, taking off past Thu’lain.

“Hey Thu, bye Thu,” Trat’catha rattled as he sped off toward the portal, quite intent on milking the essence for all it was worth.

That’s right. Time to get to work.

Thu’lain helped grab up all the equipment he could carry and raced back with Raj’ken, everyone else having grabbed all they could. Even the gaur were helping. The guliks started chasing after Thu’lain’s heels.

They all arrived at the clearing, some laughing, others heaving deep breaths from carrying too much too fast. Thu’lain arrived behind them and walked directly under the portal. He looked down to the guliks tugging his pant leg.

“What is it?”

“Throw us in. We want to go,” The gulik growled; it had been the first time they’d spoken in days, most of their interactions being no more than mischief.

Thu’lain considered it for a moment and Trat’catha looked like he wanted to deny them, but remained silent.

“Fine, but under one condition.”

“What you want?” The gulik tilted its oversized head and eyed him suspiciously.

“If you can, find a gulik named Garrow and deliver a message.”

“What message?” The gulik was gesturing for him to spit it out. Thu’lain picked up the gulik in one hand, already tensing his muscles and changing his stance.

“Thu’lain is coming home. Be ready.”

With that, he lobbed the gulik, screaming, into the air. The sound of his arm snapping forward made it seem like he’d broken a bone. His arm was dislocated from the force of the throw, but by the time he’d pulled it back it was as if nothing was wrong.

Feels good to have essence again.

He smiled and the next gulik chortled and hopped on its small legs.

“Me next!”

Raj’ken shook her head as she watched him lob gulik after gulik into the tear.

Yep, right back to crazy Thu as soon as he’s done sulking.