Twas the night before Christmas and all through the fleet,

All the officers were stirring including Lieutenant Gupreet.

He was on the command deck when he heard such a clatter

Running over to the Admiral he asked “Sir what’s the matter?”

“A new enemy is here, it is such a threat.

Everyone make ready, this enemy will be met.”

Across the fleet, people ran and did their duty

With this new threat humans had found new unity.

Telescopes and scanners looked to the ring,

That was built by eldritch beings for just this thing.

Through the ring instead of a planet did they spy,

Instead it was an unfamiliar sky.

Through the gap in time and space,

Crossed a new threat to the whole human race.

It was 10 feet tall, with a bulbous red head,

And impossibly in space he rode on a sled.

All across Sol people woke right quick,

Because of the psionic presence of Saint Nick.

Its sled was pulled by monstrous creatures,

They had blood red eyes and other terrible features.

The Demon Deer of Santa were impossibly quick

And they were slaves to old Saint Nick.

As the creatures raced towards the Rushmore

The crew and humanity worried they were done for.

Weaker minds shattered there in an instant

But the defenders of humanity were strong and resistant.

“Make ready our weapons, prepare for boarders

Brace yourselves and follow my orders.”

The weapons of the fleet spoke right quick

Thousands of slugs sped to old Saint Nick.

The creature dodged, dove and evaded

This left the crews far from elated.

“He’s going to ram us! Stay on your feet!”

Yelled Lieutenant Gurpeet.

There was an impact, oh such a crash,

As Santa and the Demon Deer into the ship did smash.

“Send the Security teams, send them right quick,

We must cut off the decks that hold Saint Nick.”

In power armor security team one and team two,

Were sent to the crash sight, they new what to do.

The lights in the hall were not bright,

But power armor was designed to see, even at night.

Advancing by team, one and then two

They cleared hallways and rooms as soldiers do.

Until they came to a terrible sight,

It was nine Demon Deer and they were ready to fight.

“Light em up boys, hit em with all you got,”

But the Demon Deer ran forwards like a shot.

In the hallways arose such a clatter,

As blood and brains liberally did splatter.

The well disciplined troops could have held the line

If not for the appearance of elves numbering nine.

Although they were small and simply armed

The Candy Canes they wielded could do much harm

Piercing the armor of the soldiers quick,

Soon the elves surged forwards for old Saint Nick.

“Fall back and regroup!” shouted the Master At Arms

“We’re too disorganized to do to much harm.”

So the Navy men turned around right quick,

Running as if pursued by old Saint Nick.

On the bridge soldiers were redeployed,

Traps were laid for dear to be annoyed.

“Bring me 2 more teams to the bridge right quick.

I have a feeling we almost fell for a trick.”

Just as the Admiral had finished his orders

From a vent arose sounds announcing new horrors.

A grate popped off with such a clatter

The entire crew looked up to see what was the matter.

Emerging from a vent that should have been to small

Was a being who evoked fear in all.

It looked at the crew with a terrible grin

And said “Ahh I smell such sin.

You have all been naughty, not one of you nice.

Now it is up to me to put you on ice.

Greed is in your hearts, no feelings of love

Now make ready it shall be death from above.

All of you have stained your immortal soul,

So I will replace your heart with a spider as black as coal.”

From his beard bushy and long,

Came dozens of coal black spiders, all a little wrong.

Their legs too numerous, teeth too sharp

They all wanted to feast on a human heart.

With too sharp teeth they attacked the crew

Those poor officers new not what to do.

Those infected rose to attack their old friends,

Oh what horror could this be the end?

The security team soon lay dead

And Admiral Jacobs felt only dread.

As Father Christmas grasped his lapels

And pulled the Admiral up to eye level.

“You are defeated don’t you see?

Humanity can never stand against me.”

“You think we are beaten? You think we are done?

Your arrogance will soon have you come undone.

Humanity is stronger than you think,

Strong enough to kill old Saint Nick.”

With that the door to the Command Deck burst wide

And Father Christmas heard the Master at Arms Cry,

“On teams five, six, seven and eight!

Don’t be slow or we’ll be too late!

Check your corners! Storm the room with a flash

Like the Demon Dear and Elves we will turn Santa into ash.”

Into the room the reinforcements came,

Many of the bullets had Kris Kringle’s name.

Their aim was true, the bullets had a small spread,

And very soon even Father Christmas was dead.

“Master at Arms, how is my ship?

Should we self destruct it?”

“Sir the Elves are no more, the Demon Deer are dead

We simply had to remember to double tap their head.

The Ship is secure, although we are running a check,

We will search one by one every single deck.”

“Excellent work to all of the crew,

When trouble started you new what to do

Now someone find Lieutenant Gupreet,

He must send a message to the rest of my fleet.

Use all weapons both atomic and gun,

Fire them all until the threat is undone.”

And so the fleets shot and shot

Until the ring had finally been got.

“Sir, is this the end? What do you think?

Should we prepare again for old Saint Nick?”

“Although The spirit of Christmas is stronger

Now we need not worry any longer.

Let us celebrate and not feel fear,

For Santa can only come once a year.

Let this warning be remembered for all time

And next year we’ll be ready with nuclear mines.”

For now all I can say is that we are all done

Merry Christmas to all I hope you had fun.