《INTERGALACTIC BASTARD》Episode 21. Low
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It was approaching zero hour, with the fight on Luna a week and a half away, and Coop couldn’t muster up the energy to pick himself up off of his couch, unplug from the stimnet and hit the gym. Sam had left another message for him, which Coop ignored, just like the last few. The last time he answered one of her calls was four days prior, where he explained he’d be at the gym shortly, just needed some time to himself.
Subconsciously, he knew what he was doing and didn’t want to push her away. After she’d done so much for him, it was wrong and in contrast with what he knew was best for him, but that darkness shrouded his every move. Betrayal never hit him this hard before, especially not with Regis. Expectations with him were always low and an understanding in place between the two men.
While Coop navigated through a hyperspace simulation, droning music in the background with flashing lights that left him lethargic and numb, he accepted his fate. Coop Sabre was washed up. Any attempt to recapture what he had prior was lost in the churn. Even his sleazebag of an uncle knew the writing was on the wall. Sam tried. He appreciated the effort and all, but understood it was hopelessly spent on someone like him and pushed him to tune out and give up. Time slipped away from him inside of the stimnet, the occasional alert to a missed call or message pulling him out. For now, that was all he could bear, though. Life in the outside world came with nothing but pain and sorrow.
“Get up,” a voice echoed around him. “Get up!”
“W-what?” His own voice was thin and distant when spoken aloud. The voice wasn’t coming from inside the stimnet, he didn’t think. “Who’s there?”
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“For fuck’s sake, Coop,” the voice said. “You’re a mess.”
“Wait, no.” In a mild panic, he reached his hands out, wondering if he was hallucinating, realizing it felt like someone was inside his flat. “Wait, don’t—”
Like a flash, the real world returned to him, his stim nodes torn from him. His eyes burned and head ached from the sudden comedown, Coop clutching at his face and curling up into a ball like an embryo lost in his mother’s fluids being torn kicking and screaming into the world. There was a process to coming down after being inside for so long and this sure as shit wasn’t it.
The voice came through, stronger now. “Cooper, this is pathetic. I know you’re upset, but you need to get up and train.”
“What if I don’t want to?” It sounded better in his head. When vocalized, it sounded like a petulant child.
“If you don’t want to fight, just tell me and I’ll cancel it.” Her voice was soothing and calm. “Tell me now so I can scrub it before it’s too late.”
“It doesn’t matter,” he said.
“Fine, it’s your name that they’ll drag through the mud.”
“Wonder what Regis will think,” he mused.
“Who cares what that asshole thinks?” she asked. “Is this what all of this about? I thought you were mad at me or something.”
“You wouldn’t understand,” he murmured.
Still unsteady on his feet, Coop caught himself on the couch, trying to stand up, preventing himself from toppling over and making an even bigger ass of himself. She wouldn’t understand. At least that’s what he kept imagining. Emotions flew through his mind rapid-fire, all a mishmash of past, failed relationships, losing his parents and how Regis was the only person who ever stuck by him before, now distant and off doing his own thing.
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“You and I both know whoever this guy is, that’s not the problem,” she said. “The problem is you, Coop. You think your uncle’s greed is somehow your fault, or that everyone will leave you. I’m still here, though, aren’t I? At least for now. I don’t know what I’m doing. Maybe my sister was right.”
“Right about what?” That wasn’t the kind of statement she could just spill out and leave hanging there. “What was she talking about?”
“That’s the thing, Coop. It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter what anyone thinks. I’m here for you, like I always have been. Do you see that?”
Coop sank back into the couch and folded his arms, unsure of what she was looking for from him. Out of instinct, he reached for the stimnet nodes again, Sam letting out an exasperated sigh before pulling them from his hands. Gripping them in her hand, she dangled them out in front of his face.
“You know, I wouldn’t listen to him when he warned me about this,” she said. “I ignored the signs when you’d disappear after your fights into this and thought ‘maybe he just needs some time.’ This isn’t what you need, Coop. This isn’t what you are. Here, take the stupid things, lose yourself again. Coming or not, I’m going to Luna. Show up or don’t, I don’t care anymore. This is your decision. I’m not the one running away, though.”
“Sam,” he muttered. “It’s not like that.”
“Then what is it, Coop?”
She headed for the door, opening it and standing halfway in and out, something that felt symbolic for that moment in time. Cooper knew he was supposed to feel something and respond. It was lost on him while he mumbled incoherently and reached out for her. Out of anger, she tossed the nodes back to him, Coop catching them and wondering if he could stop himself from his impulses at that moment.
“Yeah, that’s what I thought,” she said. “I’m not your uncle, you know that, right? Whatever you think you are, or I am, or we are, I’m gonna be on Luna getting things ready for your fight. I sure hope you show up, Coop. For your own sake.”
Just like that, the apartment was empty again, the door slamming behind her, leaving Coop alone with his nodes and sorrow.
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