As I kept making a path forward through the monsters and traps I kept thinking. I have changed a lot since I came to this world. For starters now I had a weird crystal or whatever inside my chest known as a magic-core. My body has also suffered many changes. I can tell the miasma from before changed me once again. The changes may not be perceptible with the naked eye but I can tell my body is no longer the same. My mind has also changed. Rather, it has been the thing that has changed the most about me. I was a normal highschool girl before I came here. Now, I am an adventurer with no qualms about killing people. No, that is not it, I don’t feel anything about the intrinsic worth of life. For me who cherished sentient life like any other human from earth its value has become null.

When did it start? when did I change? When I killed Lizz? No, this happened before that. Now that I think about it I have ignored it since then, since the very beginning. It wasn’t in the dungeon either, even before that I had already started to change. It all began with that wolf monster in the forest. That time when I almost died for the first time in this world. I changed, I could tell even then that I had. However, I ignored the change. I was afraid of what had changed in me. Now I have become something else. Can I still be considered a human? Moreover what makes a human precisely that, a human? Their genetics? Their beliefs? Or perhaps the contents of their soul?

I kept pacing myself through the floors of the dungeon while thinking. While trying to get an answer. I have changed a lot since I came to this world. I have killed many and chances are I will kill many more in the future. I feel no remorse for what I have done, and I doubt I will feel remorse in the future. But that brings the question of my humanity and my sanity. I have thought about it, about what makes someone human. There are other sentient species in this world too. So what differentiates humans from them. My answer is simple: nothing. At most one could argue their genetics are different but what of it? When I say human I am not referring to the species but to the conception, we have of being superior as human beings.

Maybe trying to analyze and understand this from the perspective of an earthling is wrong but that’s all I can do. That is all I know and that brings another problem to the table. Even though I have lived in this world for around eight years I know nothing of it. Well, there isn’t much I can do about that. There isn’t anything as convenient as the internet here. However, that doesn’t mean I can alienate myself from this place. I live here now, and as much as I might hate to admit it this world is my new home.

Going back to my thoughts about being a human or not I think I am still a human if barely. What makes a human being is a combination of factors, isn’t it? Morals, Genetics, believes but most importantly the interaction with others. I am human because I have these things. Well, my morals have gone to hell lately and I don’t know if my genetics are still those of a human. My beliefs haven’t changed that much though. After all, I never had any strong conviction or believe in anything so that is that. However, I have gone back to society. I have started interacting with others once again. Because of this, I can still be considered human, right?

As I kept walking I began seeing adventurers here and there. They avoided me like the plague though. It might have something to do with the fact I am carrying five headless corpses around. Looking at those adventurers I can tell they fear me. I can’t blame them though. If my previous self were to meet someone like my current self she would be terrified and disgusted. This brings me back to my thoughts about how I have changed. Is it bad that I have changed? I don’t think so but I should fix myself tool. I don’t want to continue like this. I don’t want to see others how I do now. Like mere bags of meat with no worth other than their strength.

I want to go back. I want to have friends again. I want to laugh and have fun. I want my world to recover the lustre it has lost. Because of this selfish desires of mine, I have taken a decision. I will search for a way to live a calmer life from now on. A way to stop shedding blood. A way to live happily in a worry-free environment. Even if it means working hard I think its a fair exchange. Maybe moving to a village and becoming a farmer or something of the sort. How about blacksmithing? that sounds interesting as well, or even learn how to sew and go for a seamstress job.

“Halt! By the order of knights of the valencia Amelia Bellevie, you are under arrest. It is believed that you are cooperating or might be directly involved in the kidnapping of the people from Olandel. For this reason, you shall be brought to court”

I was yanked out of my pleasant thoughts by a rough voice that came from an old-looking man in full plate armour with many decorations. Around him were another ten people in a similar armour but with fewer decorations. In the chest area of the armour I could see the coat of arms of Olandel, they are the real deal.

“Well, I am not. I am in a quest of the guild to track and dispose of the kidnappers. These people here are said, kidnappers or rather, they were. There were around twenty in total but you can’t expect me to drag twenty corpses by myself. If you don’t believe me go around eight floors deeper. There should be a passage that had been dug by this people on the dungeon wall”

I pointed at the beheaded corpses and then at the passage on my back. However, those soldiers kept their guards up at all times. From their behaviour, I could tell they did not believe a single word I was saying. It’s not like I care, I can just push my way through them. No, wait, I said I would try to fix myself. In that case, I won’t kill them. I will just leave them with a few broken bones, that should do just fine.

“Miss Amelia, do not resist or we will be forced to use force to subdue you”

“Oh is that so? I am guessing you do not believe me. Well, I have been down here for a while so excuse me if I don’t feel like being arrested as of now. Because of this, I will have to resist. Don’t worry I won’t kill you. After all, that would bring more trouble my way. Now if you shall excuse me I will continue on my way”

As I finished I began walking at a leisurely pace towards the soldiers as they unsheathed their swords. The man in fancy armour began talking once more however I completely ignored him. I could tell they were afraid. After a few more steps I was already in front of a young-looking soldier. He lost his calm and swung his sword vertically. I simply sidestepped while grabbing his chest piece with my right hand. Smiling I flung him towards my back with such force he slammed against a wall with a loud thud.

“Anyone else wants to try their luck?”

I looked back to see the rest of the soldiers with determined yet fearful expressions. They were waiting for their commander to give the order to attack, however, said order never came. The commander stood rooted in place as he looked at me with a worried expression. Unlike his soldiers, it was obvious he could tell I had contained myself quite a lot.

“M-miss Amelia, I can’t let you roam around freely. however, I would rather avoid a direct confrontation. How about, instead of apprehending you we escort you back to the guild while we verify your claims”

“Do whatever you want as long as you don’t get in my way”

Crap, that condescending tone of mine escaped without me wanting to. Looks like my socialising skill decayed a lot. How come only now do I become aware of this. I sighed internally while resuming my walk towards the exit. Behind me, two sturdy-looking soldiers followed. The rest of their platoon went god know where it’s not like I care anyway.

We continued walking for a long time. Those two fellas grew to fear me even more as we kept going. This dungeon is meant to be a challenge and by their expressions, I could tell they were horrified by my relax strolling through the place. Any monster that approached us would be easily killed by me in a matter of seconds. The first few times a monster appeared the two reacted by going into a combat stance. However, after two to three encounters they became calmer and let their guards down. At least towards their surroundings that is. Instead the entirety of their attention was directed towards me.

After an hour or so we finally left the dungeon. It was very dark outside with only the starlight illuminating the sky. This dungeon is in the middle of a forest at a four-hour walk from Olandel. Without stopping I began walking once more, this time towards olandel. After an two hours, we finally left the forest. In front of me there lied a prairie painted orange by the light of dawn.

“Its beautiful isn’t it”

I unconsciously said that as I saw the sun slowly rising on the horizon. A show of warm colours painted my view as a cold breeze blew by. The long grass gently danced as if celebrating the return of the sun. The warm rays of light giving new life to this place after a cold night. Somehow this scenery spoke to me. Perhaps it was nothing more but a coincidence but I felt as if the world itself was encouraging me. I took a deep breath and smiled while burning this image into my memory. After a while, we resumed walking towards olandel.