Chapter Twenty-One—Barbeque Block Party

Kyle’s jaw dropped.

The Landfill Lich hit John and he flew through the air and grunted as he landed next to Kyle.

Kyle raised his pistol—“WHAT! THE! FUCK!”—and put five rounds into its barrel chest. The lich slowed, cried out, but then stamped forward, its blood dribbling all over the tiles.

Kyle backed away, his hands shaking as he tried to unstrap another clip from his vest while his heart beat so fast and so hard he could barely hear anything.

Come on! Come on! Come on!

Too damn slow!

He managed to get the clip out, but then he fumbled it against the pistol. “Fuckfuckfuck!”

The creature reached out with knives for claws.

Kyle almost jumped out of his skin, his feet wobbling across the floor as he turned and ran, bent over and picked John’s pistol up off the floor and rolled forward.

“Aim for its vitals!” Lexa suddenly exclaimed over his wristlet.

When he came back up, Kyle lifted the pistol and emptied the silenced rounds into the creature, but the bullets seemed to have little effect.

“Kyle,” Lexa said happily. “The vitals?”

Unable to think, or listen, he snarled instead. “Fuck!”

Still backing away toward the elevator, the lich began to follow.

Oh no…

Styne screamed as he came up short on his hands and knees because Kyle was blocking his path to the elevator.

Kyle fumbled with him, barely able to look down at the panicked mage. The creature was a living horror, but what made it even more hideous and blood curdling was its almost human visage. It looked at him with intelligent eyes—murder and rage clearly distinguishable in its motives.

As it moved, red boils the size of sports balls quivered like they might burst. It bent, its arms going out and its claws spreading. Then it lunged up and arched its back while it howled at the ceiling.

“What is this abomination?” Kyle breathed. Styne, his face a mask of terror, whined and attempted to climb over him. “No you don’t, douche!”

He put his boot against Styne’s shoulder and the man’s eyes widened.

“Snack time, big guy!”

“NO!”

Kyle kicked him back.

Styne cried out as he fell back right into the mutant’s path. He screamed as it went at him with its claws, his death cries high pitched and almost as blood curdling as the monster’s own howl.

Kyle didn’t watch to see what happened. He turned to John who was just getting up off the floor, his mouth hanging open and his eyes wide.

“Back to the lift!” Kyle ordered and ran past John, then turned as he entered.

He slammed another clip into the psitol as the mutant howled. It stamped forward past the mess of gore and limbs on the floor and reached into the elevator.

“FUCK!” John screamed and hunched back toward the wall.

As he pulled the trigger, putting ballistic rounds into the lich, Kyle screamed. The gun cracking with each shot that went into that massive clawed hand.

The mutant cried out and pulled back.

“The lift!” Lexa screamed.

John cried and lunged forward, slamming his knuckles into the button. Already recovering, the monster came back to kill them.

Kyle’s heart lurched. “Oh shit! It’s coming—It’s coming back!”

The lich lunged just as the elevator doors shut, an audible ping sounding over the intercom.

The doors bent inward as terrible bony claws slashed through the metal, tearing jagged rents through them.

The lift went up, and the monster howled, a muffled scream of fury and hatred.

“Holly shit!” John breathed. “Did you see that—“

“Yeah I fuckin’ saw it, man!”

The lift doors opened with another ping and two guards standing in with their pistols drawn met their gazes. Kyle shot the first one in the face.

John moved behind Kyle as he shunted left behind cover. The big guy grabbed at something on his vest as shots cracked into the back of the elevator.

“Shit!” he exclaimed.

Kyle heard his combat Bowie as John yanked it out of his sheath with a crisp metallic hiss. Kyle couldn’t lean out to shoot the guard, or else he would get shot in the face.

“Kyle!” John called. “Cover me!”

“Yeah!” Kyle said, reaching his wrist out of the elevator and firing blindly. As he put down successive fire, he leaned out.

John moved past him and threw Kyle’s knife. It hit the guard in the chest and he grunted, momentarily stunned.

Kyle pulled the trigger and got nothing but a click in return. “JOHN! YOU LOSER!” he called as he jumped out of the elevator and assaulted the guard.

Knuckles came up at his jaw and Kyle’s vision shook and he struggled with the guard, his hand getting stepped on by John as he moved up and helped out by punched the guard in the forehead.

He went out cold.

“Agh!” Kyle hissed as he shook his hand. You stepped on me!”

“Sorry!”

“Fuck!”

“Oh gods,” John called, his heart hammering in his chest. “I think I’m going to have a heart attack! Let’s get the hells out of here!”

Hells no! Not when we have unfinished business!

“Not yet!”

Kyle got up and ran upstairs.

“Where are you going?” John called.

Once he was upstairs, Kyle proceeded to activate all of the stoves and the ovens, making sure not to light them as gas came rushing through.

“This will do it,” he said. “We can have a fuckin’ barbeque block party!”

“People still use gas stoves?” John breathed.

“It’s better for cooking,” Kyle said quickly.

“He’s right,” Lexa chimed in. “Professional chefs do indeed prefer gas stoves, John.”

“Well aren’t you the pro,” John said. “You just signed yourself up to be our personal chef.”

“Come on!” Kyle exclaimed as he bolted out the front door. There was no way they were going to leave this place—and all of Styne’s research intact. It was simply too dangerous and too evil.

Unstrapping a timed explosive from his vest, he glanced at John, then tossed it into the house and closed the door.

“Wait,” John said. “What about Mrs. Styne. Isn’t she innocent?”

“Hells no!” Kyle said. “I’ll tell you later.”

“All right,” John said and passed him up, ran through the back yard and then through the gate.

Kyle followed. With the adrenaline pumping through him right now, he couldn’t even feel the wind or the cold rain.

“Where the hells is the car?” John asked.

“Over here!” Kyle said as he ran toward the Corvo’s position. He hadn’t parked it too close just in case anyone caught the sound of her thrusters.

Kyle opened the front door and got in. As soon as john closed his door, Kyle started her engines and lifted off.

“I would welcome you back,” Lexa said, “but I’ve been with you this whole time. That lich was quite the sight, wasn’t it?”

“Gods,” John breathed. “I wish I had your cool demeanor, Lexa.”

“Thank you, John,” Lexa said cheerfully.

“In the fuckin’ sub-basement!” Kyle exclaimed. “I can’t believe it! Freaky-freak-Styne has a whole godsdamned sideshow down there.”

“Quite unexpected,” Lexa said.

Kyle pulled back on the steering and they ascended through the storm, the rain pattering strongly against the windows.

“You fuckin’ think, Lexa?”

Suddenly he house blew up in a ball of fire and flame. Secondary explosions went off and black smoke rose into the stormy sky.

“It’s done,” Kyle said. “Too bad my message on the missus’ vanity got blown up.”

“Did we record all that?” John asked.

“Hells yes,” Kyle said, then tapped his wristlet. “Gonna be sending this baby to all the news outlets.”

“May might want it too.”

“Yeah,” Kyle said. “Let’s get out of here.”

“You don’t have to tell me twice.”

Moments later Kyle was connecting a line with May.

It chimed.

And chimed.

“She’s not picking up.”

“Probably busy,” John said. “Just leave it. This was our gig today.”

“Okay. Maybe later.”

“Now let’s get home. You have cooking to do.”

“To the hells with that!”

“You signed up for it when you demonstrated your superior knowledge of cooking,” John said. “And that was a pretty good move back there.”

“Thanks.”

“Yes, Kyle,” Lexa added. “I’m very impressed.”

“Well thanks, Lexa. It’s about damn time you gave me some praise.”

“You are quite welcome.”

“So what’s for dinner?” John asked.

“Pizza,” Kyle said.

“Do you mean the leftover pizza in the trunk of the car?” Lexa asked.

“Yep!”

John glanced out the window. Kyle did the same, but the Isle of Frenn was no longer visible through the storm and neither was the explosion.

He steered them back over Life City.

“Well damn,” John finally said. “I wish we could have had some time to look at Styne’s computers—find out what this experiment was really all about.”

“Yeah,” Kyle said. “But it doesn’t matter, because Strogaus is next!”

“Hells, yes he is!”

Kyle’s wristlet pinged. “Oh,” he said. “It’s May.” He opened the line. “Yes yes—it’s ‘secure’ as it always is.”

“Um…” a man’s voice said on the other end. “I—uh, don’t know what to say here.”

For the first time ever, the person on the other end was not May.

What the fuck?

John frowned. “What the hells?! Who are you?”

The man chuckled nervously. “Well, I’m—I’m not May! That’s for sure.”

“No shit!” Kyle said.

The two Anarchos glanced at one another in completely shock and confusion.

“Shit,” Kyle muttered. Then he turned back to his wristlet. “What’s wrong?”