《Chaos Of The New Era》Trivial and insane
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‘That goddamn idiot.’ Was what I thought as I hurriedly left the forest clearing.
Viran seems like an uneducated idiot- but he still had some talent to him. Back during Sir Renault’s stay I had seen Viran’s swordsmanship and it definitely did not fit someone who had just learned, of course I could beat him even without the use of magic the rate he had improved throughout the week still was monstrous. I could only do one thing in response.
Since I began staying in the Idicium estate with Lord Idicium, it was as clear as night and day to the different treatments Viran and I both received. I inquired about many things with the servants and tried to talk to Lord Idicium concerning Viran, and I learned about the order to keep your distance from Viran. It was simple, all I had to do was make a servant follow me towards the training grounds where Viran was being taught and they immediately told the Lord.
I could feel a slight smile rise on my face thinking about what I had done. When I first saw Viran, I thought he was a naive and stupid kid compared to me. After getting to know Viran a bit I realized I had overestimated him, and also learned another designation from him. He was a seriously naive and stupid child, but one with potential to serve under me once I become Lord. We may even become friends if he became accustomed to his position.
The smile that had begun to tug at his lips immediately fell into a hideous frown, distorting his childish and graceful looks.
… I always won against anyone in my family and the surrounding Noble Heirs. But Viran of all people, won against me?
It was the second most embarrassing thing I have ever had to go through, losing to a child like that. My own blood is boiling from just remembering my loss against that Viran, simply regrettable. A friendly relationship with Viran would be easy enough, but ever since I had lost against him, concealing the mockery I held towards him became harder and harder. It’s all Viran’s fault, it’s unforgivable. He doesn't understand his place and even thinks he can best me, it is infuriating.
He beat me at chess and now he is trying to learn magic as well. I know I shouldn’t sacrifice a good subordinate because of a grudge, but my own head becomes fuzzy and unreasonable whenever I see him try achieving anything.
Because I know he will eventually become better than me.
I had brought Sir Renault’s actions towards Lord Idicium’s ears strictly because Viran isn’t suited for becoming a swordsman. I don’t need someone like him to be better than me. Being the Lord of House Idicium means that I need to have a powerful martial prowess, yet it is clear Viran holds the talent and perseverance needed to become a powerful swordsman. More powerful than I could ever be.
A life was lost when I was born, my Mothers life. I had better talents than my siblings and I was also born with an innate gift making me the heir-apparent of the Barony. Regarded as a genius among the family I was showered in praises and I was the best among the surrounding Nobles. I felt guilty for being the cause of my mothers death, and I needed to repay my family and the fiefdom. I needed to repay my family for taking away my Mother, or so I thought at the time.
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The embarrassment of being a bastard was already shameful enough for me. When Lord Idicium visited my family at the Barony, the family that I thought was whole was in reality fragile. My Father had loved my Mother to death and hadn’t ever remarried after her death but upon realizing that his once beloved wife hadn’t been faithful, and his son was not really his, he broke. He tried to kill me, the me who had been his son for eight entire years. Of course he had failed in killing me, my older siblings could not handle seeing me killed before their eyes and stopped him thankfully. But that was as far as their consideration went. On the day I left, there was no one to see me off.
My surroundings were pure and happy and back then everyone still had a reverence for my Mother. It… Hurts to know that I am partly responsible for ruining the peace my family had.
Now, I wonder if I still feel gratitude to my own Mother for giving me life even if it was through an affair. She had given me life, though through that action she caused pain to everyone around me; especially me. Maybe what I feel now isn’t gratitude, but abhorrence towards my Mother. The Mother that destroyed my family eight years after she had already passed away.
I was born through sin, and my reputation will forever be stigmatized by the bastard blood flowing through me.
While walking through the estate a flurry of people enter my eyesight. While listening to my surroundings it would seem that Lord Idicium had suddenly ordered messengers to leave as fast as possible. Not to mention the servants are also in a rush to finish their tasks and everything else. What is happening?
Horses were constantly leaving and entering the estate again which was a constant annoyance for the guards at the gates. Looking further down the road I can see dust clouds filling the road as far as my eyes can see, multiple wagons were on their way to the estate.
My attention to the scene fades away and I walk towards a distant, yet familiar, figure. The pale face of Spion enters my vision and words begin to leave before I can even notice.
"Help me hurt Viran."
The words spilled out effortlessly and with a toxicity unbefitting of a child. These words had come from the very bottom of my gut and they were words I would have never spoken were it some months ago. These very words were spoken with a clarity and truth to it, that I couldn't help but wonder what I was truly feeling. I was afraid of Viran's talent, I hated the naivety he showed, I disliked the childish reason he had to learn swordsmanship. I hated him for beating me at chess, the burning anger almost stifling my breathing.
The anger I felt over a lost game of chess was clearly not something to be this angry over. But a simple thought of the boy would only fan the scorching anger dwelling within me. A simple glance at the boy, would make my brain tremble. My actions would become harsher, the madness growing inside of me acts without threshold.
Is this anger really only over my loss, or something more?
The realization of my own dark thoughts shocked me to the core. I felt the anger inside of me was simply too harsh, I mean it was all over a game of chess. So why do I feel like this? My mind wanders and forgets the mistake I had just committed, to speak of hurting Viran would not bode well. Even if Lord Idicium does not care for the brat.
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"Hurt him? I guess I could do that."
The lazy, growling words made my mind shudder. The visage of Spion was calm and relaxed. He showed no surprise to my words and slowly I could even see a smirk tugging at the ends of his lips. The faint smell of cheap liquor was still lingering on Spion, but that didn’t matter. My hands tremble, my eyes tremble, my mouth begins to show a smile.
I know this is wrong. I shouldn’t act like this towards Viran. After being rejected by the family I once had I was given the chance of a lifetime. A chance to start over, and I know Viran would be glad for this too. Viran himself had been devoid of warmth for years, and years. I know what is right, but I cannot stop myself. I stand on the cusp of a life altering decision, and I step over the line.
Making a pact with the Devil in front of me, I stare directly into his eyes. My head feels light, but I shake it asking once more. The Devil stares back at me and beckons me to enter this home on the Estate.
The residence itself looks meek and the door is seen barely able to keep itself together on the frame. Before entering I look off to the right and the figure of a thin old man enters my vision. He had a very tall frame and his every movement exuded a gentleness unlike any other, his eyes though showed a deep indignation.
The name of the old man clicks in my mind and I realize that he was the magic teacher of Viran, who had come along with Sir Renault. I had heard that they’ve known each other for years, but in a more hating relationship. A smirk lingers on my lips as I think about how the old man must feel having a colleague taken away from him.
My feet briskly step into the house and a sour smell assaults my nostrils. Looking around I can see bottles of empty liquor around and clothes littered all around. I walk forward and sit on a sofa opposite of Spion. The sofa wasn’t high quality at all and was stiff as a log. I look up and my eyes directly meet Spion. A small cackle entered my ears and my hands stiffen.
“So why do you want me to hurt the boy?” A growl leaves Spion, freezing me.
The question startles me for a moment, and suddenly my brain trembles once more. The truth spills out.
“He…. He beat me at chess.” I pause at my own words.
I didn’t want to completely believe it, but my gut tells me this is how I really feel. His talent does have a factor in the hatred I felt, but I could tell from the deep honesty my words exuded that this was the main reason. Why do I hate him so much over such a trivial thing, I wish I knew. I felt deeply ashamed, but I cannot quell the deep insane anger I hold.
My answer breaks the cool look off of Spion’s face, and he is stunned. He awkwardly scratches his head and breaks the silence.
“Is that really all? Though I suppose I cannot be completely surprised, people would usually believe that children are too pure for something like this. I guess that is the line separating a child and an adult, what would seem small to an adult may be an enormous matter for children.”
I look taken aback at Spion, his response was simply out of the ordinary. The reason I wanted to hurt Viran was insane and no normal person would oblige me, but Spion easily brushes it off. The reason was truly insane, but the Devil in front of me cares not for the insanity my reasons are. The Devil instead looks at the deep emotions I hold within.
Spion fishes a bottle from out of nowhere and uncorks the bottle before taking a deep swig of it. His Adam's apple bobs up and down repeatedly before a satisfied sigh echoes across the alcohol-ridden room, a slurred voice enters my ears once again.
“I-er. I suppose I can help you, though I can’t do it for free. I’ll need your help with some side projects here and there, some involving magic and some not. You agree?” His eyes show a dark light and I eagerly nod my head. “Well good. Well I suppose we need to talk about that Viran boy. I heard he’s also a talent for the sword haha and he can even beat you at chess huh... “
Spion’s eyes begin to stare directly at the floor as he focuses intently. His eyes show a deep and firm determination as minutes soon turn to hours until he finally lifts his head back up to meet my eyes. His eyes were frightening to me.
“I can’t kill him here at the estate.” He pauses before his eyes pass to the knife I carry at my waist. “But, if I have your help I can get him out of the estate. Maybe I can even get others to rough up the boy for us too.”
My eyes quiver and my head trembles. I fear what I am becoming, and I fear what I hold inside. But I cannot keep it concealed, my head raises towards the roof of the building and a light childish laughter rings out. The laugh has the quality of a small boy, but the emotion of a monster. A monster I was becoming, and feared. Alongside the laughter of the monster, rang out the grizzled and deep voice of the Devil. An insanity and madness had linked them together. The link between the two was not over some large scheme to control the Lord or a deathly vengeance that would put their anger to rest. A trivial game of chess was the reason for the maddening anger, an insanity had gripped upon my heart.
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