And it has begun. What has you ask? Well, slime golf of course. Right now I'm placed upon a raised section of the floor. In this game, it's pretty much the golf tee. Towering above me is the golfer, Captain Shi with his giant broadsword in his hands. Behind the golfer sat the dog emperor on his throne, the entourage, and the old master who's now got cold sweat running down his face is standing not far behind the golfer.

Why does he got cold sweat you ask? Well, it's probably because he believed his idiot of a son too much (the "young" master) and somehow forgot to actually test if I actually was immune to physical damage. So, now he's sweating rivers hoping nothing goes wrong, but sorry old man, can't guarantee anything over here either. Although madman back then had tested impact damage on me, but it was with a machine which probably does not exist the damage that this muscle head golfer would do.

When the dog emperor gave the signal with a nod, Captain Shi slashed at me with the golfing motion and weeeee~ *splat*

You thought I died again didn't you? Unfortunately, there's the saying that ba- *cough* good guys live thousands of years, so obviously I would live. The splat was just me flattening against the palace walls due to the force that I was flying at, but my shape recovered once I fell to the ground as everyone in room went "Oh~" with awe while old master breathes a sigh in relief. Thank you, thank you, that was a wonderful performance if I say so myself. So, can I go to the vault now?

"Oh? Seems like you are not lying to this Emperor. Very good, but let's see if it truly can last against all physical damage. Captain Shi, continue," the dog emperor of course decides to continue the show while the old master tensed up again.

Honestly, I think it's because the old master is so tense that the dog emperor wants to continue testing. What happened to the experienced politician within you old master? Were you also as useless as that dog emperor?

Anyways, now I'm playing all sorts of new enhanced sports with Captain Shi. We played baseball with Captain Shi toss then bat, basketball with Captain Shi repetitively smashing me onto the ground then into a container that was brought in, tennis with old master as the second player, football with the foot, then finally hit the mole, with me being the mole while Captain Shi used his broadsword as a hammer.

While all that was happening, I got bored halfway through because these noobs couldn't beat me at such easy games, I'm a Pro at these sports. So, I took at look at my items that I collected while playing with them using my other- no, using no hands. How? Slimes got no hands. Oh! Beat that!

First, there was a old-fashioned looking pistol, kind of like the Pir***s of the Car*****n pistols.

[Qi Spike Gun] (Green - Lower) 21/25

Can insert 5 Qi to fire a Qi spike at 2000 feet per second at the direction that the gun head is pointed towards. The Qi spike will explode in a small radius of 6 inches on impact. Costs 1 durability per use.

Although, it doesn't say how much damage it does, but you can imagine it seeing how it is shot at 2000 feet per second while the average bullet in modern day travels at 2500 feet per second. It's a lower green grade and it's already pretty decently strong, but a low durability of 21.

Then, there's the talisman with a golden glint on it. It's got some weird symbols that I don't understand inscribed on it as well.

[Random Teleportation Talisman] (Red - Lower)

Can be used in any situation where space is not locked to teleport to a random location at least 300 meter away from host's current location, but within 1000 meter. One time use.

Basically a life saving talisman, kind of. It's random and I don't think that bodes well if I have bad luck.

Then there's the pair of normal looking brown boots and brown cloak with a wolf skin head as the hood.

[Wind Wolf's Boots] (Blue - Lower) 77/100

A normal, but more durable boot. Host can insert 10 Qi to instantly gain the blessings of the wind for a 200% increase in speed for 5 minutes. When equipped with {Wind Wolf's Cloak}, will grant 300% increase in speed for 5 minutes instead. Costs 1 durability per use.

[Wind Wolf's Cloak] (Blue - Mid) 117/125

A durable cloak that can reduce physical damage by 5% and wind damage by 10%. Durability will reduce depending on damage taken.

Pretty decent, seems there are higher durability for blue grades. Now for the one that actually has a cool name, it looks like a normal black Kukri dagger.

[Earth Dragon's Fang] (Orange - Upper) 230/275

A sharp, durable dagger crafted with an Earth Dragon's Fang, granting it the ability to gain weight when Qi is inserted, 1 Qi per pound up to 100 Qi. The dagger only loses durability when using a weighted attack, and durability lost is equal to the amount of Qi inserted divided by 10, with no durability lost if less than 10 Qi inserted.

Interesting. Increasing dagger wait can increase attack speed and damage if used correctly, providing I'm strong enough to hold the dagger when it gets heavier. Now for the last one, my most treasured, cool looking mask.

[Ghost Emperor's Mask] (Rainbow - Upper) 478/500

A mask that reduces the presence of the one who wears it. Wearing the mask allows user to activate the ability {Ghost Steps} at the cost of 1 Qi per second. While using {Ghost Steps}, user can insert an additional 5 Qi to activate {Ghost Form} for 3 seconds. This mask cannot be destroyed and will not lose durability unless used with Qi.

{Ghost Steps} - Fade out and become invisible while moving. All signs of user's existence will be hidden and user will not be discovered by anyone cyan level or lower. Skill will be automatically canceled once user initiates an attack, but can be used again after 1 second of not attacking, even whilst in battle.

{Ghost Form} - Allows user to become the void, float so user does not pass through ground, and pass through any physical objects. Attacks below cyan level will pass through user if user is in this form.

Ohhhh! There it is! OP equipment perfect for being the god of thief- *cough* janitors! I decided that I would save all these equipment for myself to wear after I reform my body into a human's because it's not guaranteed that I get all those OP abilities if I absorb it. Before, I looked for the Soul Gathering Pill for an extra life, but now I believe that it is the key for me to activate {Protagonist's Rebirth} again!

Oh, and we're finally done with the "games". The dog emperor nodded his head and had a eunuch pass the old master a pill. The old master took a deep bow before leaving with his entourage. Now, it's time for me to go to the vault right? Eh? Why is the dog emperor not giving the command to bring me to the vault yet? I watch the dog emperor command the eunuch to pick me up, and then the emperor said, "To my bedchamber."

Son of a b****.