Chapter twenty six

Terrans have a very strange culture, or cultures. Indeed, even after every other spacefaring race has adopted one unified culture, humans still retain their diverse cultures, some seemingly made of several different ones combined. One wonders how they manage to make sense of it all. -extract from a speech from the Union Institute of Culture

“What you have done is illegal!” The Grent Ambassador was practically foaming at the mouth as he yelled at the Terran Ambassador, who just chuckled.

“We haven’t violated any laws that I am aware of.”

“Article 20 states that any new species found must be reported immediately to the council.” The Sythren Ambassador cut in. The Terran Ambassador nudged the human in all black standing at his side, before unashamedly hiding behind the Spiril Ambassador

“I call upon my lawyer.”

“You can’t do that!” The Grent Ambassador roared in outrage. The human lawyer cleared his throat and spoke.

“Article 234 states that ambassadors may call upon experts to represent them when discussing a topic outside their knowledge.”

“Fine, the lawyer can stay. Now, can we please get back on topic.” The Spiril Ambassador sighed and shook her head.

“Alright. Article 165 states that all first contact protocols can be delayed at the discretion of the party that initiates contact in case of an emergency. Article 68 defines what is an emergency, and warfare in included as an emergency.”

“But that war ended 3 years ago!”

“Article 249 states that a state of war between two entities is only considered as over if a full cessation of hostilities is agreed upon by both parties. What was signed three years ago was a peace treaty, with one of the clauses explicitly stating that the treaty was temporary. The official cessation of hostilities document was only signed a month ago. Article 48 gives a month for treaties to be finalised before they must be announced.”

“I’ve never heard of half of those articles, and we only use the first hundred articles normally.” The Sythren Ambassador tried to argue but was immediately shut down.

“Ignorance is not an excuse. As long as there are official written records of a law, it is considered to be in effect.”

“But then we might have to arrest a quarter of everyone if all those laws were strictly followed!”

The human shrugged. “Not my problem. Now, does anyone else want to resist?” As he let out a predatory smile, all the other ambassadors shivered. It was as if the lawyer’s smile lengthened unnaturally, and he revealed a mouthful of sharp teeth. As the lawyer strode out of the room, the Spiril Ambassador turned around and quietly asked the Terran Ambassador a question.

“W-W-What was that?”

“A lawyer. The scariest being ever to exist. Trust me, you Do Not want to get on their bad side. I once saw a minister literally get buried under lawsuits after he insulted a lawyer.”

The Spiril Ambassador thought about the creepy smile and gulped. He decided that he was never going anywhere a human lawyer ever again.