"Could you stop practicing for a few hours while I figure this out?" Morgan yelled. She'd worked on their initial summoning ritual for the last six hours. In that time, he tried the exorcise 30 times. Each try tore open his hands which transferred over their link. The pain didn't matter to him, not when success was so close. After the last ten failures, his skill had improved.

Golden ichor covered his hands, but the wounds weren't terrible. His hands had toughened up from the repeated injuries. Still, the sudden explosive pain distracted Morgan. Lex didn't care if it bothered her. So, he strived to act like it did. Morgan expected him to care about her feelings and he took that as a hint.

He found the technique improved his toughness only after he healed from an injury and only in the spot healed. When he healed, the technique pulled qi from his meridians to hasten the healing process. The technique was expensive and only skin deep. While his skin hardened, it did nothing for his muscles and bones. It was the nature of the technique.

Demonic techniques were emotionally based and instinctual. Morgan had become the source of the emotion. She wasn't adept at handling sudden pain. Her fear of the sudden unexpected pain helped fuel his technique.

"I could but I don't want to. Do you have anything else for me to do while you plan?" Lex said.

"I don't care if you're bored, I need to concentrate on the ritual." She reached into her bag and pulled out a text. "This book contains all you need to know about necromancy. A half assed reanimated corpse is better than nothing."

She tossed him the book. It was a hand thick and wrapped in horse leather. Thousands of thin pages filled the book sectioned between anatomy, acupuncture, qi manipulation, and techniques. It was complicated to a point. While the descriptions and rites within were complex, they were understandable. The tome was intimidating to the extreme, but its purpose was clear. By using this reference even, a layman like himself could perform necromancy.

He started reading it immediately and pulled insights from Morgan as he threw himself into the read. They settled into silence and he explored the basics of an art he'd only heard stories about. By the time he reached his first exercise several hours had passed.

With his qi he slowly shaped lines of qi in the air into the Tiet, an ancient symbol of the tomb lords. Since ancient times, before Iskandar conquered the land of Kemet and renamed the land's capitol city Iskandaria, necromancers used the Tiet symbol as the keystone for necromantic spells. Forming a static symbol didn't come with the danger of his other practice. The exorcise challenged his memory and concentration.

In this area his lack of talent showed itself. He could make his qi visible but that was inadvisable in a fight. Most wizards could see the patterns in spells at a glance. Their acuity was often great enough to see qi hidden by fade techniques. Lex couldn't see any qi but his own and only when compacted. He couldn't control the symbol more than a single meter from his body. The tome claimed even a mediocre necromantic talent could extend their symbols tens of meters. Lex's singular meter of control was pathetic. All spells needed to be formed in his hands and that was dangerous.

Morgan wasn't wrong when she said he'd be a shit necromancer. Still, a mediocre necromancer was a necromancer. Tiet looked like a vagina headed stick figure. It was a symbol that traveled from Kemet, to Iskandaria, to Constantinople, and eventually to the duchy of Goth. Many prominent figures wielded the Tiet in their necromancy including Soter Caligula an infamous Invictus emperor and fallen god. The symbol is thought to have come from a goddess in Kemet.

Lex held the symbol, let is dissipate, and summoned it again. It was the foundation of modern necromancy. No other symbol was quite as robust or adaptive. There was a reason why its the first exorcise in the book.

The more he studied the tome the more questions he had. Within the pages were the history of necromancy and the symbols used. He needed to learn convoluted techniques like spirit binding and potion craft to enhance results. Spirit binding was originally a basic skill for controlling the undead. Just raising a corpse wouldn't make him its master. Corpses could be soaked in certain solutions to improve its qi retention. He learned quickly but it would take weeks to prepare for one summoning. They didn't have that time.

"I'm ready." Morgan yelled. She bolted the door shut and began writing on the floor with chalk. He recognized one symbol for a confederate call to Hel a goddess of the dead. Well, if anyone could help them, it would be a goddess of death.

She walked over to the table, plucked a heart from the corpse, and laid the very dead heart in the circle. After a series of symbols gathered from Morgan's outstretched hands and flowed into the circle, the heart vanished.

Powerful energies poured into the circle threatening to shatter it. A chill poured into the room covering the floor in frost. From the circle mist shot out blinding them to the circle's new contents. A strange buzzing sound filled the room. Worse, he felt a mighty heat from the circle unlike anything he'd ever felt. Whatever was making the buzzing sound was powerful.

Lex waved his hands blasting the mist with spiraling qi. The swirling vortex soon gathered the mist, contained it, and clearing their vision. Even with the mist gone they still heard a terrible buzzing sound.

With the mist gone and their vision clear they saw the fruit of their summoning. Buzzing and rolling around in a circle was a pink phallic object covered in runes. It buzzed and spun but never left the circle. On the side of the massive object in confederate runes was a passage.

"Morrigan, can you translate the writing." Lex asked. She remained stunned for a moment. After nearly 14 hours of preparations, she had summoned a dildo. After he saw the images for such items from her mind the pieces began to fit together. The more he stared at the object the less he wanted to touch it.

He saw yellow stains on the artefact. The head of the artefact was blunt and covered in tiny spinning filaments.

Qi unlike anything he'd ever felt radiated from the dildo. It had been heavily enchanted. Spirits bound to piece were masterfully merged to the object. The artefact was as dangerous as it was embarrassing.

Morgan's face was scarlet.

As he stared at the phallic object, he started noticing peculiarities that weren't normal. He decided to practice his empathy again by asking important questions. "Hey Morgan, why is the head of the dildo flat like a horse's cock?"

Morgan seemed to be in a trance as she stared at the flared head of the impressively phallic instrument. Perhaps, she needed a little more help taking it in or another slap. He felt at his stomach. Maybe, he'd save shaking her for a last resort. Perhaps more empathy would get a reaction.

"Is that a dog's knot at the base of it?" Lex held both fists together to properly express the size of it. The buzzing continued as the dildo made another circle. It was too long, thick, and customized.

The blush never left Morrigan's face. She stared at the nearly two-foot-long weapon of mass lady orgasms in horror, and he sensed admiration for the craftsmanship.

While the dildo held many extravagant additions, he had a real burning question. "Do you think its still warm?" A green spell slammed into his shoulder quickly eating away at his robe before melting through flesh. His entire shoulder quickly became a golden amber hard lump.

He turned and kicked her in the gut. She slammed hard into the bronze table denting it with her body. Morgan grunted as their mutual pain traveled between their link. She clutched at her shoulder even as he felt his gut ache. Compared to her flesh-eating curse, she got off easy.

They glared at each other. He couldn't help but wonder what killing her would do to their link. Her thoughts weren't very different. She looked away and calmed down.

"That was our best chance to get help and I may have ruined that avenue of summoning." Lex walked over to the circle and grasped the flared head. His hand couldn't wrap all the way around it. Not only was it warm, but it also smelled of feminine use, and felt slick to the touch. 20 kilos of floppy heavily enchanted vibrating horse dick wobbled in his hands. Worse, it came from a living horse before it was modified. The warmth from it was especially disturbing. He realized then that the writing had been a tattoo.

"What does the writing mean?" Lex asked.

"Essentially, it's the property of Hel. She's the Norse goddess of the dead and the daughter of a trickster deity and a man-eating giantess." She chose that moment to make an inquiry of her own. "Did you notice how stained the knot is? Do you think that's her favorite part?" Morgan asked. Lex felt his own face heat up at the thought.

For an hour they spoke about what meal they'd have later that day and potential avenues for summoning. Lex suggested they try one more summoning. Hel might not be able to tell if they stole the dildo from her. If she does, maybe returning the dildo in good faith could earn them some help. Honestly, who would intentionally steal a goddess's alone time toys? Lex didn't think logic would matter much to a pissed off goddess denied her jollies. Morgan would know better than him.

Morgan made a much larger circle and began the chant for the next ritual. The runes were both very close with only a few minor tweaks. She offered her hand. "Summoning a goddess is going to take a lot of power, more than I have." Lex sucked in a breath and held it.

He fed her power as she worked the ritual. This time they'd succeed, he knew they would. Power rushed into the circle funneled into the runes by Morgan excellent control. A much larger explosion of cold air rushed in than before. This time there wasn't any sound which was a good sign.

Lex brushed away the mist and stumbled.

In the center of the circle was a spiraling ring of iron beads they were sized from a man's head to the width of Lex's pinky. Steam radiated from the clearly well used beads. They smelled like shit and he could imagine their purpose. Like the phallic artefact, these enchanted beads shared a similarly powerful set of enchantments. On the largest bead in red the same runic message on the dildo could be seen.

Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. Once was a coincidence twice was a pattern. "She can't have many more toys left. But do we really want to summon her now?" Lex asked. He turned to see Morgan frozen with her mouth wide open. This was a trying time for her. She claimed that rituals were one of her strengths.

"Do you really want to steal from a goddess of death?" Morgan asked.

"Maybe we should summon her father and give these enchanted artefacts to him." Lex smiled he had a wonderful idea. "If she's angry, we could blame Loki. He might have had a hand in it. These items might be his and he just put Hel's name on them." Lex said.

"No, I focused my summoning on Helheim. He'd have to already be there with the items. But he is a shapeshifter." Morgan turned green at the thought.

Lex scooted the table to the other end of the room to give Morrigan room to draw a larger circle. This time she added several layers of runes around the circle. One of them he recognized for tiet but it wasn't playing as the key stone this time. No, there were many more symbols some of them were confederate runes, Iskandaria texts, and cuneiform.

"Can a goddess really be summoned so, easily?" Lex asked.

"We have artefacts of hers or Loki's either way one of them should show up. If we use enough power and they're willing, we can summon them." Morgan said but there was some doubt in her tone. Their goal had been to summon a spirit to guide them in exchange for parts from their corpse. This time, they placed the whole corpse in the circle and began the ritual.

A crown of bones bounced off the ground. They performed the ritual again and a great dresser made of bone smashed into the ground. One more attempt added a freshly worn dress to the summoned circle. Posters, chairs, a large bed, and a few romance novels written in confederate runes tumbled to the ground.

Lex felt his qi pour into the latest ritual. It was tens of times more than he'd invested in the one before but not half of his reserves. The corpse exploded in blue flames quickly turning to ash. As power poured into the chalk circle, a tiny black speck appeared in space before expanding. Suddenly, it blasted open, and a naked woman plopped out. The ground froze around her as she struggled on the ground.

She spasmed and groaned before crawling her way up to her feet. Heat radiated from her in waves greater than any being he'd ever known. Hel was taller than 3m but not quite 4. She glared at them with contempt marring her beautiful face. Her hair was long and luscious, a blonde color that bordered on white on her left side and raven black on her right. Along with the dual hair colors her skin tones held their own duality. Her right side was pale like a Goth's or a confederates while her left was the dark color of an exotic Mughal's. Lex saw that duality reach all the way to her twitching plump lips; she was truly symmetrical.

From their summoned goddess a cold front moved in. Parts of the room froze over, and liquid filled glass beakers shattered around them. From Morgan's mind he felt despair at revenue lost. Lex walked over to a table and picked up a heavy package.

Before he took two steps the thin linen bag ripped open, and a line of foul smelling iron balls smashed onto the frost covered ground. He looked up to see only half of the goddess blush.