Sorry about the time skip for anyone that wanted to see the fights, but I would rather keep my new friends’ abilities a secret from snoopers like you. Yeah, I know you’re reading this, whoever you are. I have no idea how you made it into my room, but I would hope you would not be so criminal in the future. Just an FYI. If you can even read this, anyway. I hope the new passcode on my teleporter works better than before.

Hmmm…and if you still manage to get a hold of this, just keep in mind not all of the Skills and Spells are 100% true! Ha! I am not letting some asshole get the better of me! Once that month deadline comes around, don’t even think about coming in here!

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Oh man…It took us over two weeks to get here! But we made it! All 24 of us. The Seven Squadrons made up the meat of our new company, Torwächter, or Gatekeeper. Lester was the unofficial leader as the official part was played by the Stooges. Since I love the number 13, when people want to join, we will stop making Squadrons at 13 and just increase the size of each one. Then those Squadrons will become Branches. I am dreaming big.

Thanks to all the ore and corpses I brought from our little adventure, I netted somewhere around 50 Gold. Add that to the 10 Gold I already had and you get about $60,000! In two weeks! This is easier than I thought. Maybe I won’t have to be a Blacksmith.

It’s a good thing a pickaxe somehow counts as a Two Handed Blunt Weapon. Yeah, I don’t know how either. I decided to splurge a little, letting the group of rowdy drunks continue having fun. But Lester seemed to not want anything to drink after I said it was fine. Can he read my mind now? Whatever, I’m still going to put everyone through the ringer tomorrow.

I upgraded my outfit to some Onyx Scaled Armor and an Onyx Pickaxe. Made from the fangs of the snake. It looks really nice and somehow stronger than what the fang used to be. Must be a Blacksmith Skill. I finally managed to convince Nara to wear more girlish clothes. Now she looks incredibly adorable!

Although if anybody stares for too long they get a good glare. She hasn’t grown any during that time, no matter how many stones she ate. She must need some more powerful ones. Well, we can find those in the Tower.

Speaking of the Tower, the Seven Squadrons are planning on making an excursion sometime next week. Lester decided to go to the Coliseum and Nara and I are just looking around. Thanks to my little boot camp, I mean summer camp, I don’t have to worry about the other guys. The Stooges are decent enough to handle most occasions. And no need to even keep an eye on Lester as he has been a one man army.

He even created a new Job! Apparently, the specialized training he went through to understand his powers gave him a boost. The Career Exchange Office is pretty cool and rewarded him for his effort. I decided not to change my Job for now, but I did sign Nara up. She became a Magic Assassin. Her Speed, Dexterity, and Wisdom are super high. This is good since I don’t have to keep protecting her in battle. She can just jump away. She has two Skills and all five Spells. We hunted down a lot of Beasts, after all.

A LOT.

She had Jump and Water Lover. Jump was obvious, while Water Lover allowed her to swim, breathe, and move under water really well. Only gaining Breathe kind of ticked me off.

Her Spells consisted of Water Blast, her normal attack, Icy Domain, Frozen Strike, Rain of Spikes, and Catastrophic Chill. Some downright eerie names. Icy Domain freezes all within the area of effect, Frozen Strike hits the target using one of her appendages, like a punch or kick, Rain of Spikes summons a hail of ice spikes onto an area, and Catastrophic Chill is a one hit kill technique. She walks up to the opponent because she has to focus really hard so as to not screw up, reaches out to poke them, and when she comes into contact, the target instantly freezes solid then shatters into pieces.

Too bad she’ll collapse for three days afterwards.

Ooh, a fancy armored dude. He must be a Player. He is one big flying lizard guy. Oh wait, he’s one of the Dragonkin. Good thing I didn’t say that out loud. He stood there in front of the huge crowd with a full golden set of armor, shining brightly for all to see. He had some small horns on the top of his head and a large sword at his side.

“Look Papa, that looks like a golden turd!”

I swear child, how in good gravy did you learn the word turd when all I say is shit or poop?

“That’s not nice, Nara. Just because he has a bad sense of fashion doesn’t mean you can point it out.”

“Oops, sorry.”

She couldn’t be any louder, could she? A couple of the Dragonkin guards looked our way and noticed I was human. One came over.

“You there, keep that thing under”

“Fuck you.”

Oops. I reacted without thinking. Not only did I curse him out, I even socked him in the chin. He doesn’t look the least bit happy. Maybe next time he shouldn’t talk badly about Nara.

Luckily, the golden turd intervened.

“Look, calm down, what did he do wrong? You didn’t have to start a scene.”

Wait…shouldn’t you be saying that to the other guy? It seems like the golden turd understood my facial expression and just shut up…and pulled out his sword…and pointed it at me…

“Look, I don’t want to say something as cliché as ‘You don’t want to do this,’ but you really don’t.”

“Fight me, you have dishonored me.”

“And your costume has dishonored me and my eyes. Scram.”

The onlookers seem to be enjoying the scene much more than before, I guess this guy was trying to promote himself. I guess I’ll play along.

“Hop along, Nara. I’ll be there shortly.”

“Okay, Papa!”

She’s so cute.

“Okay, golden bucket, you wanted to do something?”

“Draw your weapon. If you are so willing to sharpen your tongue with your words, you must be ready to do the same with your actions.”

“Ooh, nice. Did you steal that line from somewhere? Maybe a movie? Naw, I don’t think I need a weapon.”

“It’s your funeral.”

“Naw, I ain’t dying here. You might want to ready a call to your mommy so she can baby you some more.”

Oops, that must’ve hit a nerve. He charges right at me while lifting his weapon up high. Let’s not break his shiny stuff, instead, let’s use…

“Rush!”

And there he goes. You might be heavy with all those metal add ons, but I trained this Skill quite well. He flew quite a ways. Must be a block over. Man he was light. An Onyx Snake would have only flown a couple feet backwards. Is this guy actually weak?

It seems like his guards are upset. They end up surrounding me with their weapons drawn.

“Not even going to check on him? You guys are heartless. Good men are hard to find these days.”

Heh, got one. He snarls as he charges at me, leaving many openings. I don’t even have to dodge as I merely say,

“Crush.”

And off with his armor! He looks a little bewildered. Another guy begins to think about attacking me when a scream calls out from behind me.

“Papa!”

I’m gone. The Dragonkin who blinked must have thought I disappeared as I rushed towards Nara only to find her there holding onto the golden turd by his collar as he just hung there like a marionette with its strings cut.

“Oh, you got the golden turd.”

“Yep, he landed in front of me. I thought I would bring him back.”

“Oh how kind of you, sweetie. You are too nice to these morons. Here, let’s just go home. We can explore tomorrow.”

Hahaha! The faces of all these people! Anger, puzzlement, laughter, these faces have all the reactions! Such a good crowd! I couldn’t help but add a little something to the fallen golden turd.

“Have a good day, Merry-Go-Roundabout! Don’t be a stranger!”