Kevin POV:

When I said that that fucking bitch was a demonic maid sent to ruin my day, I had been gravely mistaken. They sent the bitch to ruin the entirety of my second childhood. Ever since Jamal learned how to walk, she’s been whisking him away every single day. What do they do after they leave me all alone in the room? I don’t fucking know; the bastard wouldn’t give me shit.

Was I sad and lonely most of the time? No, of course not! There were plenty of ways to have fun in a massive and spacious bedroom, all by myself. I could jump around, I could run around, I could jump and run around. I had plenty of things to do but noooooo, the bitch also had to take away my freedom!

“Look what I got, and it’s just for you!” She skipped with a blue tie in hand. “Now you have something that matches your eyes! Isn’t that lovely?” She asked with a sweet and innocent smile. Don’t let that smile fool you though, this girl was evil! “I said isn’t that lovely! What kind of servant is unable to answer their master’s question?!”

Just gotta smile and nod, just gotta smile and nod. I’ve learned how to deal with her. After all, it’s been five months of this bullshit, and there was no end in sight.

“Now put it on.” She tossed the tie my way before turning around, walking to her pink, short, and portable table. “We have much to do today.”

How the hell do I put on a tie? I turned to the maid that would always stand beside the door, staring at me as if I was some kind of vicious monster. Probably was a bad idea to seek her help. Guess it’s time for me to improvise by tucking it into my collar.

With tie tucked in, it was now time to get into character. Kevin was no more, for Sebastian had entered the fray. Why Sebastian? Because all great butlers were named Sebastian.

I began the act by approaching the brat that I was to dutifully serve, each step far more graceful than the last, and an elegant bow once I came to a full stop. I received an enthusiastic cheer for my excellent performance.

“Amazing, as always. And I expect you to be at your very best. We have a very special guest with us here today.” She directed my gaze with an open hand towards a bear that wore a cape and a crown. “Before you stands his highness Tibbers, from the magical kingdom of ahh… Uhm… ti-tiba…” She stood there like an idiot for some time before blurting out “Tibberland!” Tibbers my ass, that’s just sir Teddy with a crown!

“Now go on and bring forth our snacks. I have much to discuss with his highness over tea.” She took her seat next to the crowned sir Teddy, talking about something stupid like trading, peace treaties, and whatnot. Sebastian was nothing more than a dutiful servant, so he would definitely bring it to her immediately. Without wasting a second, I rushed towards the cart, the maid giving me the usual stink-eye once I stood before her. Woman, what was your problem?! I remember my victims and you ain’t one of them. Get a life, you sad, pathetic sack of shit. Stop wasting it on bullying the weak.

Just as I was about to go on my merry way, the door was opened. In came the demon, dropping off Jamal and then leaving in an instant to whatever hell she came from.

[What are you doing here? Weren’t you supposed to goof off till sundown?]

[I have no idea what you’re talking about. And also, why wouldn’t I be here? This is our room.] Of course, why did I even bother asking? It’s always the same shit.

“What a pleasant surprise, if it isn’t the duke of Weluton. Come join us.” She called for Jamal. He seemed more than happy to join in, skipping along the way with his blanket in tow.

I quickly followed after him then started placing the tableware. Four teacups with tea plates, maybe teacup holders, and four small plates. I then poured the milk, because children weren’t allowed to drink tea for some reason, and gave everyone three pieces of the amazing and mouth-watering cookies. I made sure to give myself the largest piece, of course. Privileges of being a servant.

Just as I was about to take my seat, I was brought to a halt. “What do you think you’re doing?” She asked with her arms crossed. “You, are a servant! You don’t get a seat at the table.” What do you mean ‘I don’t get to seat at the table’? I always got to sit with you. What changed?

Ah, fuck it. Sebastian would never question the lady. Guess I’m just gonna have to be on standby like that maid over there. Just as I was about to leave, I was once again brought to a halt. “Where do you think you’re going?” Oh my god, what do you want?! “You have to taste a biscuit and check for poison. What kind of servant are you to not even think about your own master’s wellbeing?”

Who the fuck would poison a cookie?! Ugh, the things I do to stay in character.

You have resisted the ‘Poisoned’ status effect.

Well, I’ll be damned. It actually was poisoned. Maybe I should just keep that to myself.

-

“Here you go, master Kevin.” This was new. “I brought you something to drink before you retire.” I stared at the glass of milk she held in her hand, the same milk that she’d always give to Jamal.

It’s been over five months since she came into our lives, and she decided that now was the time to give me the same treatment? Nope, I ain’t drinking it. Fuck that shit. I raised my arm to smack it away, but she caught it, picked me up, then forced it down my throat. I hate being a baby.

You have resisted the ‘Poisoned’ status effect.

...

Did she just give me poisoned milk?! What kind of logic would lead you to poison a child?! This fucking bitch!