The interior of the limousine is really tacky, but because it's bathed in aqua light, it reminds me of the ocean so much I feel a pang of longing. The blue leather seats have a wave design stitched into them, and there is a shallow elongated fish tank on the ceiling of the limo. On closer inspection, I notice the fish are actually jagged-toothed piranha, their malignant red eyes like tiny pools of blood. Darkins also had a fish tank in his office, not to mention the hideous holding tank where he's keeping the merfolk. Why does this guy seem to have such a weird obsession with fish?

"Do you like my limousine, Miss Spring? I had it custom made." He pours us each a glass of champagne from that bottle and hands one to me and inches closer. Holy crab! My heart races, and I suppress a gag that is threatening to gurgle from my throat. I scoot away from him as far as I can until I'm scrunched up against the window. "I'm glad we have this time alone. We can get to know one another better. Much better." His mouth contorts into a grin as slimy as mozuku seaweed. The creep creeps closer to me. I now press my cheek against the cool glass window.

The car unexpectedly screeches to a stop. Champagne sloshes over the edge of the glass onto his tuxedo and my dress.

"Hades!" he says, pulling his hand away. He pulls a cloth from his pocket and dabs his suit.

The champagne that spilled on the thin fabric of my dress clings to my skin. Oh, no, the dress! What if Aphrodite gets angry with me for ruining her gown and turns me into a shellfish the way she did with poor Nerites? You never know how a goddess will react.

Darkins presses a button on a panel, and the darkly tinted privacy glass lowers a few inches. "Driver!" Darkins' face is flushed as a red tide. "Do that again, and you'll be out of a job."

The driver doesn't turn from the road. He grunts what must be an apology. I'm sure he must be annoyed, but I can't see his face.

Darkins raises the privacy screen. Once again, I'm alone with this jerk. I shiver.

"May I refill your champagne?" he says, topping off our glasses. "I apologize for my driver, Miss Spring. Or shall I call you Kelly? It's so hard to find good servants these days." Servants? This guy is an utter snob besides being a horrific polluting creep! He grabs some napkins from the bar, and it looks like he's planning to use them to wipe my dress.

Urgh! I take the wad of napkins. "I'll do that!" I say, perhaps a little too emphatically. "I mean, uh, thank you."

"Of course, Kelly," he says, frowning.

He looks at me as if he expects me to say something. What had he asked me before? I really need to pay attention! Oh, I remember, he asked whether I liked his gaudy car. "It's the first limousine I've ever been in," I say. "I've nothing to compare it to." I am being so tactful!

Mr. Darkins raises an eyebrow. My neck prickles. I've made a mistake. I can tell.

"You are a party planner, and you've never been in a limousine? Odd." He stares into my eyes.

For an excuse to look away, I take a huge gulp of the champagne. It burns my mouth and throat, and I spew what I haven't yet swallowed on Mr. Darkins' lap. "I'm so sorry!"

Mr. Darkins yanks more napkins from the bar and blots the liquid from his pants. "I guess you don't care for my champagne? It's Dom Perignon."

I know better than to admit I don't know who Dom Perignon is or that I've never had champagne before. I assume drinking champagne, like driving in a limousine, must be part of a party planner's job. Why didn't I read up on this beforehand? Note to self: in the future, do research before getting into a car alone with a deranged criminal. I brace myself; now I know what to expect and pretend to take a sip. "It's delicious," I lie. "Thank you."

"Hmmm." His eyes search mine.

He suspects something. Eel's meals! I have to change the subject.

"So, tell me more about the product you are announcing tonight," I say. "You seem ... uh ... very excited about it." I am proud of myself for thinking of this. Perhaps I can find out something useful while I'm trapped in this stupid limo with this villain.

Finally, he flashes me a real smile. "It's revolutionary. I will change the entire beauty industry," he says, his chest swelling like a pufferfish.

"Really?" I say, widening my eyes and trying my best to sound all impressed and not disgusted. "How does it work?"

"Oh, you'll find out soon, Kelly. Right now, I don't want to talk about business. I'd like to learn more about you."

He scoots even closer to me on the leather seat until his leg presses against mine. I try to slide away, but the only way to escape would be to open the door and jump out. "There is something about you, Kelly. I don't know what it is, but you are unlike any other woman I've ever been with." He puts his index finger on my cheek and traces it down to my jaw. He's so close I can smell something fermented and sour on his upper lip. I am clenching my fists and holding my breath. What would happen if I deck him? I mean, other than it giving me great satisfaction. I imagine him unconscious on the floor of the limousine, and my lips curl into a smile. Bullies must be put in their place, after all. But the driver will surely report me, and I cannot in good conscience take him out as well. Can I? I guess I will if I have to.

I think Darkins completely misreads the smile that crossed my lips. He reaches up and traces his pasty finger over my lip. I am so close to biting it, but I refrain from violence just now. Instead, I take his hand off my face and try to put it back in his lap. He winces, and I realize I must be squeezing rather hard. Oops!

"You're a strong one, Kelly," he says. His jaw is tense. I can tell he thinks I've threatened his masculinity.

"I am pretty strong. I ... uh ... work out ..." We learned in school that humans say this when they brag about their physical prowess. The car is speeding up. We're getting onto a road with multiple lanes. The vehicles are hurtling along as if they're in turboswim.

"Where do you work out?"

"Uh ... workout places." I am totally messing this up. Dirk is looking at me like I'm a two-headed eel. Does he know what I am? Pierce, where are you?

"Well, I see you have strong legs." He reaches toward the skin that is exposed through a long slit in the dress that extends all the way to my thigh. "Hey!" I slap his hand away before he can touch me. I had not noticed the dress even had a slit. Or did Aphrodite somehow magically add one just now out of spite? I flip the bottom of the dress over the top to cover my leg. "Hands off, buddy!" I can feel my hair sparking under the wig.

The car swerves to the side, then back again. Loud, angry noises, like agitated geese, blare from all directions. I dig my stiletto heels into the carpet and grip the door handle to keep myself from falling into Darkins.

"What in Hades?" Darkins growls, cracking open the privacy screen again. "You idiot! Where did you learn how to drive? One more move like that and I'll throw you out of the car and run you over. Am I clear?"

Darkins turns to me. His face contorted, his eyes crazed and unfocussed. He is seriously creeping me out.

He grabs my wig, and I yelp, pushing him away. As he falls backwards, my wig comes off in his hands. Dirk's eyes widen as my real hair falls loosely over my shoulders and sparks purple, red, and orange. Poseidon's spear!

"What in Hades?" Darkins yells, backing away from me. His face is as red as the eyes of the piranha sloshing around in the ceiling tank. "Your hair!"

The look of fear on Darkins' face makes me love my hair problem for the first time.

There are more loud noises, squealing brakes, and shouting. The sounds are muted, but I can tell that whatever the driver is doing is making a lot of people really mad. We're going down a ramp, and the car screeches as it makes a hard right turn onto another road.

"What are you doing, you moron?" Darkins screams.

The car brakes, speeds up, jerks, and I hear more screeching. It's hard to stay in my seat. Glasses in the bar clang together. The limo swerves, and I fall off the seat, landing hard on my side. My hair is still sparking, but somehow seeing me on the floor gives Darkins a boost of confidence. He licks his lips and rips my wig in two as if it is made of paper. "I guess I was right," he says, his voice low and menacing. "You are different from other women, mainly because you are not a woman; you're a mermaid. And let me guess, the other two 'party planners' aren't human either, are they?"

"I don't know what you mean," I lie.

"Oh, I think you do, Miss Spring. Is that even your real name?"

"It's real enough," I say.

He laughs. "Oh, you are a feisty one. You will be a wonderful addition to my merfolk collection. I might even give you your own tank."

"I will not be in your collection, Mr. Darkins."

"Oh, I think you will be! I need your tears. My product, well, it's made from a very special ingredient. From the tears of freaks like you. And I have invented a tear-extracting machine. It can be quite painful, from what I hear from the other freaks I kidnapped. But the product is a miracle. It reverses the aging of human skin. I will be the richest, most famous mogul on the planet."

"I've already experienced your lovely machine," I say.

"What?"

I love that I've caught him off guard. "Yes. I guess your compound isn't as secure as you thought."

"The hole in the barn?"

"Yes, that was me. Sorry about that. No, that's a lie. I'm not really sorry about your barn, Mr. Darkins. I know all about what you're doing. How you're making Elixir of the Sea. How the manufacturing of that beauty cream produces horrible toxic waste. And I know you're storing it in a cave, and it's leaking into Tomales Bay. Why would you want to obliterate an entire ecosystem? Kill innocent creatures? You're a monster, Dirk Darkins!"

He laughs. Laughs! As if he thinks he can continue getting away with this!

"Oh, my dear Miss Spring. I take your assessment of me as a compliment. I am actually far worse than any monster. Born that way, I'm afraid. And as far as dumping the toxic waste in the ocean, well, it has to go somewhere. Can't have government inspectors finding the stuff at my production site. I'm sure the bay will recover. In a couple of hundred years, give or take." He laughs again.

"But, you're destroying lives."

"They're only fish. No one will care. The press is going to go wild. The only thing they'll care about is that they get to break the story about how my product will revolutionize the beauty industry. They won't give a rat's ass about a few fish."

"I care!"

"Well, as you are now my prisoner, you won't be able to do a thing about it. So, I'm assuming that you and your little accomplices are planning something that I won't like. Well, I can't have anything go wrong with my big night, now can I? So I'm going to have to make a quick call to Igor. He'll have my guards take care of Mr. Gibbons and Mr. Molar or whoever they really are, and of course, your other friends setting up the party too. Now, where is my cell phone?" He pats his pants pockets.

"What do you mean, 'take care of?'"

"Oh, now you're beginning to bore me, Miss Spring. Certainly, you know that nothing and no one can stand in my way. Never mind, I'll use the speakerphone in the car."

Oh, no! What is he going to do? I can't have him hurting my friends! That's when I realize Igor wasn't among the guards that went into the haunted house. Why didn't I notice this earlier? What if Igor gets the guards free from the haunted house maze?

Dirk presses a button, and I hear a ringing sound. After a moment, there is a click.

"Igor? There's been a bit of a snag, and I need your help. The operation has been infiltrated ..."

Before Dirk Darkins utters another word, I do the first thing I can think of: I swing and wallop him so hard in the jaw that he crashes against the window, shattering it. Glass flies everywhere. My knuckles are on fire and may be broken, but I savor the pain. It was my best punch ever.

"Boss? Boss? Everything okay?"

I press the same button Darkins used to start the call. The line goes dead. And speaking of dead, Darkins is lying unconscious on the floor of the limo, bleeding. I presume if he's bleeding; it means he's still alive. I have mixed feelings about whether that is a good thing or a bad thing.

The car screeches to a stop. The privacy screen was down enough that I'm sure the driver has heard everything. What am I going to do? The driver's door opens and slams shut. My heart is hammering in my chest, and my hair is still sparking. I crouch on the seat next to the passenger door, ready to attack. The door swings open. The driver rushes in at me. I propel myself at him, but he pushes me down onto the seat and lands on top of me, compressing his body onto mine and grabbing my wrists. I'm trying to get away, but this guy is really strong.

"Wave? Wave? Are you okay?"

"Pierce?" I am so confused. What is he doing here?

He lifts his head and chest off of me. "Wave, I'm so sorry. I couldn't get off the freeway fast enough. I am a terrible driver. I wanted to get that slime away from you. It was killing me up there."

"You ... you were in the car the whole time?"

"I said I would watch over you."

"I thought you were going to fly above us. I was so worried about where you'd gone."

"I'm sorry, Wave. But it wasn't possible to say anything to you without blowing our cover. I had to get inside the limo once I heard Darkins bragging to Igor about exactly what he was going to do to you once he had you alone. No way was I leaving you in the car with no protection. So I hypnotized the driver and took his uniform. It all happened at the last minute. There was no time to tell you about the change in plan."

"I understand."

Pierce kisses my cheeks, my eyes, my jaw, my lips. He sits and pulls me onto his lap. He kisses my hands. "You've hurt your hand, Wave!" He kisses each knuckle separately, and despite the pain, a jolt of that special Pierce electricity courses through my body.

"I'm okay. I'm a mermaid. I think I will heal a lot faster than Darkins."

"Uh, Wave?"

"Yeah?"

"Is Mr. Darkins down there?"

"Mhmm?"

"His blood smells delicious. Not as good as yours, but better than normal human blood."

"Urgh! And so what?"

"I think Darkins is part mer. And I think he is plenty strong."

"Part mer? But why would he be hurting the bay if he's a mer?"

"Sharkweather did."

"But Darkins had Sharkweather's wife. He was being blackmailed."

"I don't really know why. I suspect we shall find out when he's more ... talkative."

"We have to get back to the ranch right away, Pierce. Darkins called Igor. He didn't get to tell him everything, but Igor heard the crash before I disconnected the call. He must know something is up."

"Come in front with me, Wave. Let's get back!"

"Agreed. But Patty Cary will be furious."

"Here's Darkins' cell phone. He dropped it in the dirt when he was getting into the car. You can call ahead and order her another limo while I'm driving. I'll explain how to do it. We still have that unlimited budget Darkins' gave us."

"Right."

We leave Darkins knocked out and bleeding in the back. Pierce and I get into the front. He spins the car around, and we race back towards the ranch. What is going on there? Is everyone safe? Did Igor hear enough to cause problems? And then there's the matter of my appearance. I'm a mess. Aphrodite's dress is wet and wrinkled, my wig is ruined, my hair is like seaweed that's been mangled in an outboard motor, and I have to go up in front of hundreds of people. Billions, really, when I remember that I'll be on human TV all over the world when we expose Darkins.

"It'll be fine, Wave," says Pierce, taking my hand and kissing it. "You are Amphitrite, Queen of the Sea."

Apparently, love really is blind.

"My vision is just fine, mermaid."

He kisses the top of my head, and the car moves so fast, we're almost airborne.