《MaoTensei!》A battle. [I]
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(Months without Yuuno : 6)
"I would like to thank everyone who took their time to come today." Mrs.Pologroin announced in front of the class. "I hope everyone present could make themselves comfortable!"
Today, the 'everyone' did not just include the students. It also included the row of people behind us. Attendants, relatives, and parents. And in my case, Rune.
It was regrettable but he was the only member of the family available for today's open day.
Mom and Dad were out for the military check for the upcoming brigade and Hime-nee was in Korea to meet Risa's parents. The only other decent option I had left was Alez, but he was participating he was attending the throne room since the Sadou couple were out.
Hence, I got left with Rune.
Evidently, he wasn't the happiest about this situation either. I turned around to catch him giggling on his phone completely uninterested in the proceedings of the class.
'Who in their right mind thought that sending 18-year-olds on an open day would have been a good idea?' I would have much rather had no one come than him.
Well, it would be more accurate to say that I would have much rather taken the day off than attend the sort of silly event Pologroin planned for today's meet. I can only imagine what was going on in that mind of h-
"For today's class, we'll have a guardian-student bout!" And here we go with her first absurd remarks.
Needless to say, a round of murmurs started circulating the room.
"As in a fight?" One of the maids towards the back asked. To put it simply, while there were some relatives mixed in the group, most of everybody here were maids and butlers. And it wasn't ethical for maids and butlers to fight off against their masters.
Hell! It was not ethical for any adult to fight against a 6-year-old. Not every 6-year-old is as powerful as Yuu-chan. She was just an anomaly!
"Not exactly…" Pologroin grinned in response to the question. "What you'll be competing on is… THIS!" She pulled down the screen and written there in bold text were two words- Rap Battle.
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"Yo Yo. Let's go. Yo!" Pologroin howled.
'Someone, please take this boomer out of the room.'
I turned around to see who the first guardian to retaliate would be. Someone who would say in the most stern of tones- 'Sorry, but this seems inappropriate.' But no one spoke up. Rather everyone had a rather sinister grin on their face.
The attendants especially. It was as if they finally found the golden opportunity to diss their employers on their face. Of course, the employers themselves were kids so they could do so without any repercussions.
This was basically the perfect opportunity for them to curb their frustrations.
"Without any further ado, let's get this party started!" That was the first time I heard someone use 'without any further ado' and 'let's get this party started.' In all honesty, my ears were about to fall off listening to this b.s. at this rate.
When her intro ended. The desks that we were sitting on started to mechanically move towards one side and the centre of the lavish hall got cleared up for usage.
The carpet that covered the floor rolled up to reveal a circular mosaic of some classical looking figures. We got off and surrounded the circle as Pologroin stood at the centre.
"Let's rap baby!" She picked out a mic from her pocket and threw it straight towards a kid right behind me. "Johnny and his guardian you're up first!"
"If you insist." The butler grabbed the mic enthusiastically.
She swung her hand down and the surround speakers around the classroom dropped the beat.
The chandelier turned to a focusing theatre light above. One that focused directly on the butler. The curtains cut off all the light and all that drew attention was the figure of a Butler who slowly walked into the mosaic circle.
The groove was 4/4.
"Eyy eyy eyy eyy." He tried to feel the tempo out.
"There's a little tiny pain in the bottom of my a**,
d*ck's name's Johnny and his Dad's lass.
Now I know that I might be a little hot…
But the reason your Mom sleeps with me is cuz she's a thot..
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Hot hot.
It's last time,
She would always swear,
'It's for revenge',
Because her husband dared.
To mess around, with a chick from his ranch,
But I bet she enjoys it, our little dance."
The words somehow censored themselves. NO! That's not the problem! How was this little rap battle fine in the first place?! I thought they would stop right after the first time he said ass.
Nonetheless, the chandelier focused on the other party. A lone fat boy. How would he ever counter that?
"Listen here, Marcus, you might be my butler,
But I hope you know that's just a glorified slave,
This might go off the record you should still try to behave.
As far as my mother's game…
At least she took responsibility,
And didn't leave me in a drain.
Like your's did,
On that one tragic day,
When she mistook a child for trash,
Sorry, can't relate." Switch.
Ouch.
"Ouch ouch, that might have left a scar,
Listen here you kid, your skin's a little dark.
Which is weird, cuz both your parents are white.
White as the moon, you can only doubt that night.
You were born… 9 months later,
With the blood of a prostitute, attendant or a waiter."
"Oh damn damn, how are you so calm,
Is it because you found a target to hit your qualm.
My mother, isn't my favourite girl in this land.
So get your mind of her… and look after your sister instead.
For a while now, I've only been on playdates with her,
It's only a matter of time before I rendezvous with her.
Of course, with marriage in mind, cuz unlike my daddy,
I have my own pride.
Naturally, you can't retaliate,
Mr.Glorified slave your hands are tied.
Watch your sister and she becomes mine,
Brother-in-law you should get your suit ready already."
Wait, did the little dude just propose in the middle of a rap battle.
"What did you say you litt-" Marcus got heated.
"AAANND WE'RE DONE!!" Mrs. Pologroin stepped in and the beat stopped. A round of applause around the room and hooting a lot.
{a/n: I should stop now. Also, the father was the one who instigated the cheating.}
"That was something…" Mrs. Pologroin said while taking the centre of the room. "But it was a valient, effort. Let's move on!"
Wait we're still continuing? Even after that?
No one even seemed to be questioning this!
Rune was too busy playing his game.
The rest of the crowd was busy hyping the rest of the event up. This place was batshit crazy.
In the background, Marcus the butler was wiping the sweat off Johnny's face. What is said in the ring stays in the ring I suppose.
"Next it's your turn Emeria!" She handed her mic to a silver-haired girl. From the other side, her black haired butler came in.
The beat dropped yet again.
This time the quiet, and composed looking girl was the one to go first.
"Oof. Oof. Oof. Oof.
Emeria-tan, Emeria-tan,
Is that all you say?
Am I god?
Am I that pretty?
Can't you just like Rum instead?
I don't like you,
And your ugly stupid head.
The way you cry out of nowhere,
And pretend to be dead.
It's no fun.
You're slow, you're old,
Your eyes belong to a toad.
A loser, a wimp,
And worst of all a simp.
UUUGHH!"
She really got into it, huh? That last 'ugh' had so much exasperation behind it I could feel it in my chest.
The spotlight switched to the other party.
"I love you, Emeria-tan."
"For f*ck's sake!!!"
Emeria threw the mic on the floor before walking off. Clearly, she didn't want none of that shit. Wait, why am I starting to sound coloured? I'm a white boy.
Anyhow that was how the rap battles continued. It was rough. Some were brutal, some were tame. Some were good, some were lame. I ended up enjoying this a lot more than I'd expected.
I also realised that just because our house was stably happy, it didn't mean that every other house was like that. There was a lot of entertaining drama going around the city.
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