Entering Reality…

I’m just distracting myself all day. That’s my life. Other people online and off have told me lots of things they wanted to do, and I have a few vague ideas myself.

“I want money, a job that makes a lot of money.”

“Being a famous singer would be nice. It seems like they are having fun.”

“Whatever, so long as I don’t have to do something boring or physical… I’m in terrible shape.”

“I grew up with a brain chip, isn’t it too late? I’ll just keep playing games. The government’s supporting me after all, why do I need to work?”

It was a lot of questions swirling in my mind and none of them seemed satisfying. So I found things to do. I’ve got the time, there’s no pressure after all. I have fun playing games like Mental World Online. Some people make money doing that, not as much anymore though. I longed for those days. Some people do lots of art. I call them arties, I think it’s funny. It’s great that they have something they like. That seems nice. When I read or watch them online, they seem really satisfied with life. I’m not.

I didn’t think I’d end up at Wellness Central. No way was I ever that bad. I had read their site online, and just thought, “That’s not me, I’m fine. There’s just nothing else I want to do.” This world can be a bit boring if you ask me. I read about how things were in the past before they had brain chips, before they had universal financial support systems, Wellness Central, mental effectiveness laws.

It seemed dangerous and exciting, like the streets at night still are. If you had to ask if I wish I was born then, that’s a no. I love living in this time. It’s really easy. You don’t have to work if you don’t want to, but then you’re limited on resources you can get. It’s just that simple really. Wasn’t so much different back then, you had programs like that back as far as 1956 in the United States, as it was called back then. They called it disability back then. It was for people who couldn’t work.

Now it’s for everyone, especially the people who don’t want to work. That’s great. What’s the problem with not working? Work isn’t for everyone. Historically, mind you, there were plenty of times where there were people who had the option to not work. That was always true in human history. It’s just that applies to everyone now, thanks to the smarties.

I think I hate them. Smarties are just what I call anyone who’s into some sort of complex design theory or technology or coding or making brain chips or being smart.

Thank you very much. Without you, I couldn’t lay around.

I hate you guys. With you, what’s left to accomplish?

I hate them. Now, I’m surrounded by their type physically with my brain chip disabled. That’s what they do if you’re taken to Wellness Central. Not that I blame them. They were helping. It’s nice of them. I’m just wasting your time though, smarties.

“So, how are you doing today? Your room looks nice.”

What else am I going to do, without a active brain chip?

This girl is my glorified handler, the type who deals with the smarties upstairs. She is a slim figure, the most boring possible person in the world. She probably enjoys this, this smartie bastard. Helping people, I mean she enjoys helping people. I don’t hate her specifically, but something about her pisses me off.

“It was okay I guess. It was hard running around. I probably should have got more exercise at home, I know,” I lied.

“Do you feel better?”

“Yes. There’s no reason to keep me here. I’m not trying to be mean, but I think I could have left a long time ago.”

I can see your answer easily. You’re so annoying. I’d take building my Rat Kingdom in Eirnir over this anyday, even if some mysterious explosion wipes out all my stuff on the surface again at least I’ll have something to do.

“They ran your tests again, you’re doing fine in the activities. We’re just worried about a few factors, that’s all. So, we’ve actually decided to move you along to integration stage. I’m sorry it took so long, I know you’ve been doing well for awhile.”

Well, I didn’t expect that one. Thank you, smarties upstairs, for seeing the light.

I sighed. I knew this wasn’t the end, but it was the start of the end. After all, this place was better than home. I can say I didn’t like it here, but I also can say I didn’t like home either.

“Ok. That’s great. I’ll head to the next group then.”

“You don’t seem excited.”

Why would I be?

“I’m not. There’s nothing exciting.”

She just stayed silent and then said a goodbye. She knew me by now, we had that conversation before groups many times about this test, that test, meeting with doctors, it went on and on. I didn’t get their point.

Aren’t I just the result of what happens when you give people a brain chip? I think I’m average, maybe a little above, but definitely passionless. If you were to ask me, “What do you want to do with your life?”, I’d say “I don’t know.” They had lots of fancy words for this, but I don’t think it’s strange at all. I’m just not like the smarties, not like the arties either.

At least I’m honest. The other people here are just liars, dumb, insane, inscrutable, or a mix of the above.

Now, if you read my file, you might bring up a few things. I won’t recite them here, I didn’t like them either. If you had to ask why I’m in Wellness Central, it’s those things that got me here. It’s the only thing I can think of, the rest are so much worse off than me.

“I cleaned my room today, and took a shower. It was hard focusing, and I didn’t want to do it, but I finally set aside the time and did it on the spur of the moment. I could never do that at home. I was outside for ten minutes today. It’s a new record,” said a person in the group.

There were people like that here. This group was about sharing your progress. We went around, sharing the things we were working on to get through this. You had to be at least able to function this well to be at this stage.

Back when I passed near the sealed ward, there were people who really should be in here. That was scary. Exciting too, but too exciting. If I wanted experiences like that, I could just go out again at night in the city when things got scary really fast.

There were dark parts of this bright future. I secretly loved that. I wouldn’t admit it though, to anyone. I wouldn’t saw what I saw then, what the smarties are holding at bay.

That sealed ward, I love that it’s sealed. Don’t get me wrong. It’s not burning the world I’m after, just a little singe to it.

“It’s your turn Maimou.”

My name was called by the head smartie, I was spacing out like usual. I gave a cough.

“I’m doing fine. Just got the news I’m entering integration.”

There was clapping. This is nothing to be excited about, you’re just embarrassing me.

“That’s great. Most people don’t get into integration so quickly. You’ve made great progress over the last month. Anything you want to share with the group?”

“I did what people told me to do.”