《Life Without Memory》Chapter 8: Visions of Power
Advertisement
Time seems to slow own and drag the more I have to sit her and not move. I have all the time in the world to do nothing. To let Nathan wait on me. To think.
I test those strange blocks in my mind that I’ve been trying to ignore. I’ve been feeling strange since Nathan reset my legs and I had that light headed moment. It’s as if there is a strange buzzing behind my eyes, something waiting to be used.
Does this have something to do with the blocks?
The more I focus on the blocks, the more I realize a couple things. One of those things is that some things are constantly flowing behind those blocks. I can feel the floor under my hand, but if I dig on of my nails into my arm, all I feel is the gentle touch of a nail against my skin, and there is some other feeling being immediately forgotten behind those blocks in my mind. I think I should feel something else, in fact I am certain I should be feeling something else.
I can feel it, a thread like the threads that bind my clothing, flowing away behind that block. I pull my finger away from the skin of my arm, and notice a red mark in the shape of my nail.
The thread becomes thinner, almost invisible. I rub my finger against the mark, and for a second it gets thicker again.
I go to try again, and Nathan grabs my hand. “Hope, why are you inflicting pain on yourself?” He looks worried, as if I am doing something wrong.
“Pain? Is that what this mark is called?”
He frowns. “Pain is… It’s that intense feeling of – of…” He drifts off. He seems to be struggling to explain this word. “It’s – It’s the feeling you get when you make the mark on your skin. It’s a burning feeling.”
“A burning feeling?” Maybe this is the feeling that is being immediately forgotten. Should I have felt this when you reset my legs?”
Advertisement
His eyebrows furrow. “Yes. You should have felt this sensation when I reset your legs. In fact, it should have been so bad that you screamed of passed out.”
I nod. That makes sense then. I had noticed in the back of my mind that a very large thread was going behind the block when he reset my leg. Maybe that was the reason that I had gotten that strange feeling. I was probably overfilling the area behind these blocks.
“Hope?” Nathan’s voice breaks through my thoughts.
“Hmm?”
“Did you hear what I just asked?” He is still holding my hand, preventing my from testing my theory again.
“No, what did you just say?”
“I asked, can you not feel pain?”
I nod. “I think so. I was testing this. I thought that maybe I was missing something. There was a ghost of a thought that I should have felt something.”
“Please, stop testing this. Let’s just assume that for some reason you can’t feel it, and you can be grateful that you can’t feel it. Even if you can’t feel it it’s not good for your body.”
I shrug, “Ok, I’ll stop.” I’ll stop while he’s awake. I will continue testing my blocks later, when he is asleep and I can’t sleep. He sleeps so much now, and I struggle to sleep now. I’m not sure why, but now I feel more alive than I used to. Everything seems to be in more focus, and yet time drags immeasurably slowly.
And yet it continues. The light goes on, food comes three times while the lights are on, and then the lights go off.
Each time porridge comes, Nathan makes a mark on the floor on the other side of the cell.
But he seems to be losing focus. He moves around the cell with a noticeable lethargy. He moves as if by wrote, barely even speaking to me anymore. Even now, he is walking back and forward across the cell in front of me. He seems to notice nothing as he walks. The chill of the cell doesn’t even seem to bother him anymore.
Advertisement
I’m surprised he even noticed my experiments.
Bread tumbles through the door, and he picks it up throws me a piece, and chows down on it. Why can’t I be in that state of non-existence anymore? I used to be a master of passing time by just letting it flow by, but I can’t do that anymore. I’m fully aware, fully awake now.
I gnaw on the bread because it is habit to chew the tasteless stuff.
He is pacing again, back and forward in front of me. You seem sad. Do you pity him? You should feel happy for him. He probably barely notices the days anymore. I think he keeps track more out of habit than out of any care for the time passing.
It’s been twenty porridges since he broke my leg. I know this even though I can’t see his marks. I’ve been keeping track.
That feeling behind my eyes. The buzzing behind my eyes bothers me. It’s as if something wants to be released from behind my eyes.
When he reset my legs, that feeling of reaching out…
I imagine reaching out to him, and I imagine little hands, reaching out to ward him, and the buzzing is soothed, though my head feels tight and pinched. Gently, I tap his should with one of the little hand I can see reaching out, and he jumps.
I snatch back to myself, and the hands disappear. The buzzing is less, but I feel that strange light sensation for a moment.
Nathan is looking wildly around the cell. Did I actually just touch him with my hands, or is this a dream and it is all my imagination.
I laugh, unable to help myself, and Nathan glares at me. “Why are you laughing, I swear someone just tapped my shoulder.”
I shake my head, “You looked funny, looking all around like that. So you are imaging things now…”
I couldn’t tell him about my visions, about the hands I had seen and manipulated.
He shakes his head, “No, I swear, I wasn’t imagining it. Someone…” He shakes his head again, “No, Something touched my shoulder.”
He shudders and I look down at the floor. I can’t explain what had just happened. I shouldn’t have laughed though. I think – I think I caused what he felt.
He looks around, as if he expects to see something else around him, “Did you see anything or anymore, a wispy shape, maybe a ghost?”
I shake my head and stare at my feet. What had I done? What am I? This ability. It wasn’t – I don’t know.
The pressure in my head is making it hard to think. I hold my head in my hands; my head feels too heavy to hold itself up.
Nathan’s hands are on my shoulders. I look up enough to see him sitting next to me, holding my shoulders, his face lined with worry.
“Am I worthy of such a look,” I laugh but it adds to the strange pressure, so I stop.
“Hope, what’s wrong? You never feel pain, right?”
I try to shake my head, but it’s too heavy, so I revert to words, “Pressure, I feel like my skull is too small, like my brain is pushing against my skull.”
“Is there anything… I think if you just lie down and sleep it should help.”
“Mmm,” I can’t say more. Sleep sounds good. I feel myself falling, but something is holding me up, gently lowering me to the floor. Him.
Advertisement
Misadventures Incorporated
The greatest of adventures are never planned, nor do they necessarily start on the best of terms. But that does not mean that every sporadic escapade is sure to be good—a lesson that Claire Augustus, aristocrat, tomboy, and unwilling sacrifice, is forced to learn the hard way. Thrown in a dungeon she failed to anticipate, she has little choice but to kill her way out or fall in the process. All while coming to terms with a certain close contact's betrayal.Updates every Wednesday and Sunday.Cover by Shiuwo.Join the Discord.
8 172The First Nightmare
The First Nightmare.... a terrifying being of malformed flesh and bone, a twisted being of immense power and dark wrath, a being that should not exist. The story begins in a world called Shalen, a world of old gods and a world rushing towards ruin, one where magic and strength rule, where dangerous creatures are in every part of the land, a place where you better not tread alone. What happens when a mage is betrayed, cut down in the cruelest of ways by those who are supposed to be your friends, left for dead in a forsaken pit of a cave, surrounded by the rotting corpses of slain enemies. Well.... you better make sure you burn him, cause death is not going to stop whats coming, a mages wrath is deadly, a Nightmare is cataclysmic, woe be the betrayers, for he comes.
8 113Modern Magic
After the gates of reality are shattered - mayhem encompassed the modern world. Several organizations, hidden in the shadows, must come together to defend the realm using magic that had long since been denied to the world.
8 222Leo of Island of Transylvania meet the Thundercats
The Island of Transylvania meets a place known as 3rd Earth. citizens of Island of Transylvania who have been kidnap and Force to do manual labor for Mutants if not stop could end in war. Meet the people and have the fun reading story. Hello all, this is my first novel, so no haters and yes constructive criticism is welcomed.There is only going 1- 11 Chapters os I hope you like it. May start a new one called Griffin meets the Thundercats which is a prequel to Leo of Island of Transylvania meets the Thundercats. I will decide later bye for now.I discontinued this story because I my Computer had to be rebooted And I lost what I have writing. It take over where I stop go Up for adoption.
8 96The Darkened Dove (SCP-049 x reader)
You had recently accepted a new job after being a scientist for a little over year. You were brought to a new facility, where they call themselves the SCP Foundation and though this is a huge opportunity that opens many doors the job has it's drawbacks and dangers. After you get assigned to research and interview a SCP they call SCP-049 everything changes. Then your new life truly starts.DISCLAIMER!- I do NOT own SCP 049, or anything to do with SCP.Also!! This story has violence and very mild language so viewer digression is advised!!! So 13+ for this story please!!!I originally posted this story on Quotev so if any of you are interested you can also find it there.
8 202The Arrangement
Worldwide superstar V had it all. He was young, rich, and famous - he got everything and anyone he wanted. But living the life of a high-profile playboy was starting to hurt his reputation as a legendary musician. Things needed to change, but he had no motivation to leave his current lifestyle behind.Jeon Jungkook, on the other hand, had a very unenviable life. Studying his way through his last year of college in a field he wasn't interested in, Jungkook rarely had time for himself or to do the things he truly loved. Things needed to change, but he did not have the time or means to rebuild his boring life.When an opportunity brings V and Jungkook together, they each find ways they could benefit from each other's company. The two enter into an arrangement that would help rebuild both of their lives, unaware they would start to create a life together. But when secrets and fame threaten the newfound partnership, Jungkook and V discover that only time will tell if they have the power to make it through the storm.𝗔 𝗧𝗔𝗘𝗞𝗢𝗢𝗞 𝘀𝘁𝗼𝗿𝘆!Contains:✔ Angst✔ Fluff✔ Mature content and language✔ SWITCH TAE & SWITCH KOOK
8 199