《Life Without Memory》Chapter 7: Dreaming of Infinity
Advertisement
"How long has it been?" I ask, fed up with my helplessness.
He scowls at me. "Twenty-nine days."
He's been in a bad mood since he helped me straighten the one leg. Of course I don't think either of us is in a great mood.
I hate depending on him for everything, and he won't let me move my leg for thirty days. Apparently it takes thirty days for a bone to heal. He won't tell me how he knows this, just that we have to wait thirty days before I am even allowed to look at my legs.
"What is wrong with removing the bandage one day early? One day can't make that much of a difference."
"Thirty days. Every day makes a difference." He shrugs and continues his pacing back and forth.
He's been doing this for a little while now. Whenever he stands up he starts to pace back and forth. Its like how I make time pass by letting the world go blank, but he does this while pacing. He started it to keep warm, but now it seems to be something more. He can't seem to function anymore without the pacing.
I hear the chattering of his teeth again, and realize that he is shivering again. "Do you want to borrow-"
"No," he interrupted me, "I told you already that I won't take your shirt."
They hadn't given him another shirt. I guess they didn't care if he died because of freezing conditions, and he refused to remove his shirt from my leg. It was as if he was afraid of what he would see.
"You don't need to worry about me, I've gotten used to the chilly air.” He pauses, looking down at me, at my leg wrapped in his shirt, “I'm just afraid they will come for me before your leg has finished healing."
He turned toward the door, his eyes staring at that door. I knew of it only as a portal of light, but he imagined some world beyond it.
“I won’t let them take you.”
He made a strange scratchy breathy sound, and I realized he was laughing, a mocking laugh. “You? Hope, you can’t even walk. You can do nothing to stop them.”
I shook my head. I’d grown attached to him. Somewhere, in the back of my mind, something was telling me that this was wrong, that he would be taken away like everyone else, and I would forget him again. That I should go ahead and forget him.
Stubbornly I clung to my desires, “I won’t let them take you.”
He turned back to me, his face showing pity, “You will probably continue to sit in this cell, meeting people dumped in your cell, and forgetting them for the rest of your life.”
Advertisement
I look over at you for support against his claim, but you solemnly nod, your own face showing pity at my condition. I don’t need your pity! This wasn’t to be the rest of my life. This couldn’t be the rest of my life.
“No! I won’t let this be who I am. I won’t let them take you!”
Stop looking at me like I’m crazy! I know I can stop them, and I will this time. I don’t want to forget again!
“Hope, how do you plan to stop them?” Nathan’s voice breaks through my inner struggle
“I… I don’t know, but I know I can stop them.” Why does no one believe me?
“Hope, I’m sorry, but I won’t hold out for your miraculous ability to stop trained guards from taking me out of this cell. It’s going to happen, and there is nothing either of us can do about.” He looks down at my leg sitting straight out in front of me. “If the resetting of this leg worked, I will reset the other leg, so that maybe, one day, with a different cell mate, you will be able to escape. I,” he pauses, staring at me. “Just promise me you will try to escape. Promise me that you will remember your promise to me, and I can leave you with peace of mind.”
“I promise that both of us will escape.” I glare at him, daring him to deny me.
He laughs again, “I guess that will have to do for now.”
He walks back toward me and sits down next to me. When I grab his arm I feel the cold of his skin stabbing through my hands, and wrap my arms around him. It’s habit by now to try and stay warm in the cold cell. It didn’t used to be this cold. It used to be a comfortable temperature, and it still seemed fairly comfortable, until I touched his skin and felt the cold invading my warmth.
His breathing slows, and I can tell he’s sleeping again, his head leaning against my shoulder. He sleeps more to pass time, and I struggle to sleep watching time slowly crawl by in mind numbing hours. I feel as if I am waiting for something.
You looked bored, tired of watching me sit here, awake and staring into the nothingness that is my future, and your future. This can’t be my story. There has to be more. I look down at my legs, one wrapped near the ankle in a black shirt, the other bent at a ninety degree angle. Tomorrow we will remove the wrap. Tomorrow we will reset my other leg, and after that, I will stand.
Two bowls are pushed into the cell, but I don’t want to wake Nathan. He looks less troubled, lying there against my shoulder.
Advertisement
My stomach growls and I can feel my hunger gnawing at me. I shake him awake for fear of losing even a meager meal.
***
The next morning he is waiting for me with a bowl of food in his hands. I reach out to take the bowl, and realize my hands are shaking. They fall back down uselessly. Food isn’t what I want right now.
“Could I… Can I look at my leg?” Why is my voice so unsteady? What am I afraid of? It can’t be worse than it was.
He nods, not saying a word, and puts the morning porridge on the ground next to me. He carefully unties the shirt, and peels it away from my leg. Dried red blood is smeared all over my leg, but it chips away to show a wide was scar, and a straight looking leg.
He holds the shirt, hovering over my leg, his eyes wide with disbelief.
“It… it worked. How?” He whispers to himself.
I want to test it, to stand on this straight leg.
“Will you help me stand?”
He nods, and it seems as if words are evading him. He lifts me up by my shoulder, until my straight leg is under me, and he holds me, letting me wobble on my one leg, so close to the ceiling. The ground is so far down! I feel as if the cell shrunk in the moments since he lifted me up. I reach one hand toward the top of the cell, feeling as if I could touch it if I stretch just a little more.
The muscles in my leg holding me up give out, and his hold is the only thing keeping me upright. Gently, he lowers me back toward the ground.
I feel as if the world is new, as if there is nothing holding me back, my lips turn up, and I realize that I am smiling, and he is smiling back at me.
“I stood,” I whisper.
He nods. “Its possible Hope, it’s possible that one day you will walk again, and one day you will leave this cell.”
One day. One day didn’t feel like such an impossible future anymore.
His shirt is in a ball next to me, so I pick it up. It is stiff, and seems to want to hold the shape it’s been holding. The fabric is stuck together in some areas, so I pull it apart until I held a wrinkly and stiff shirt.
I hold it out to him, and he holds it, staring out it with mild disgust.
“Why are you not putting it on?”
He looks at me like I am crazy, which I might be, but why is he giving me that look over a shirt?
“It’s covered in your dried blood.”
“And?”
He shakes his head. “Sometimes I forget, you don’t remember the outside world and you don’t understand some inhibitions. In the world outside this cell, you try to touch other people’s blood as little as possible because blood carries disease.”
Disease? Another of those words he says that doesn’t make much sense. I just shrug. He is willing to touch other people, but he is afraid of their blood. Such a contradictory way of life.
“Eat your porridge; then we will reset your other leg.”
I grab the bowl still sitting next to me, and gulp down the meal the fastest I’ve ever eaten. I want to reset the leg. I want to walk out of here with him.
When he pushes down on the second bone, I hear the snap when it gives. I stare at the leg; focusing on it being straight. I want to walk again!
I feel the bone grinding, and I feel as if the desire for my leg to be straight is being pushed out of my eyes like little fingers, pulling the bone straight. My head feels strange, as if everything is floating and nothing is tethering me down. Nathan wavers in front of my eyes, his form blurry.
Then everything focuses, and I can see him clearly again. He is crouched over my le, just staring at it. He looks back at me with a puzzled look, and then back at my leg. He wraps his shirt tightly around the ankle we just straightened, and ties it on.
He looks back at me with that puzzled look.
“What’s wrong?” Did something go wrong? Was he worried about those moments when I felt like I was floating.
“Ummm,” He pauses, looks back at my leg, and then back toward me. “No, I was just surprised. Your leg… It straightened easily. It didn’t puncture your skin this time.”
“Then why did you wrap your shirt around it this time?” If it wasn’t necessary he should be wearing it.
“I’m using the shirt to hopefully stabilize it so that it won’t heal misaligned again.”
He moved over to sit down next to me. “One day Hope. One day I will introduce you to the world beyond this cell.”
You are staring at the door. Do you know what is out there? Or are you like me? Do you only know this cell? Will you be able to leave this cell with me?
Advertisement
- In Serial23 Chapters
Deal Breaker
Deal Maker (book 2) The power of a contract is absolute. For a witch, breaking it means death and eternal torment. For a Witch Hunter, it means to be cast from the light and shun by the spirits. Irene has had many names before, but her real one and who she was remains a mystery. In her world, the line between good and evil does not exist. There is only self-interest and hers is to be done with the demon residing in her and finally be able to die. For that, she needs the freedom of a Witch Hunter and she is surprisingly good at being one. However, getting in the middle of a conflict that is as old as the world, is something she could do without. Then again, being hunted by the Spirit King and the Infernal Lords might be a good way to break the monotony of immortality. Cover art by Jun Rao. Thank you!
8 73 - In Serial35 Chapters
Post-Living
In the year 207xxxx, Humanity cannot die. Nyx Krývoun only has one wish, that is, to die. And finally, after 10700 years, he finally did! But, he didn't get to sleep. He now has to deal with it again. Another life as a reincarnated human in a world that parallels the one he lives in, a world that has been in so many comics that he read. A world full of magic. Another world that he must endure to find a way to finally find everlasting sleep. ___________________ Chapters are uploaded per 1-2 days. Probably. Credits to: -Trolarch- for the sketches The cover is from WeHeartIt . com
8 344 - In Serial9 Chapters
A WORLD TRAVELLER
Qin after goign to other worlds has finally ended up in the one piece universe. Can White beard stoop his OPness ? " NO " Can the world government stop his OPness ? " NO " Is the world of One piece ready for QIN ? " NOOO OO " Follow Qin on his journey to show people his OPness.
8 232 - In Serial27 Chapters
My neighbor is a ditto
In a new age of Pokemon, new surprises are always right around the corner! Or maybe even right around the bend as a little girl starts her journey accompanied by the worlds strongest Ditto! Follow this extravagant Pokemon and his pet-human as they soon realize that to continue their future, they must first battle against the sins of the past. Ranked number one in ditto. *Note: I do not own pokemon in any way shape or form at all however my creative liberations are still mine and mine alone. *
8 140 - In Serial6 Chapters
The Eye of Demun
As a full-time college professor and a single father of three unruly girls, Thomas Ullian has little time to indulge the fantasies and mythology of Simius’ past. Until a youthful, pestering, and determined colleague enters the scene. Orokio Musoxee is convinced that, though Thomas does not exhibit personalities, he was born with them. Orokio presents an idea to Thomas that some people have had their personalities stolen and transferred to another. He also tells him the legend of The Eye of Demun and how it is the key to ending personality theft. Thomas aggressively rejects Orokio’s claims until his oldest daughter is brutally assaulted by a man and his personalities. Mirroring a crime that happened years ago. Leaving his girls in the care of a friend, Thomas joins Orokio on a voyage deep into the Junglei jungles hoping to put an end to personality theft and discover the truth governing personalities. Who knows what other truths he might find? Truths within himself. Truths that only Orokio could have awakened. Please read Note to Reader.
8 70 - In Serial19 Chapters
A Warrior's Love (BL)
"Your mind is dark, your eyes are dull, your life is bleaker than feces, and your heart is covered in ash." She removed one hand to keep her veils on her head as the topmost shawl slipped down her neck. She continued to speak, "Your blood is cold. If you remain this way, you will die before you can find your love." The Krasean lowered his veil, revealing his face to us. He tipped his head upward so I can see his honey coloured eyes that were duller than his peoples'. Black eyeliner outlined the rim of his eyes, drawing attention to his enchanting eyes. "Whoever your lover is, they are your other half. You will endure hardships and pain because of them. You will also make them feel the same." She looked conflicted like she did not know whether to tell me this was good or bad. "In their eyes, you are the evilest and the godliest. How contradicting this is!" "Did you slap me?" I held the helmet between the pit of my elbow and my waist. One hand slowly reached up to rub my numb cheek. It has been forever since someone last slapped me. Now, no one who knew my identity would dare to hit me directly. "The blood coursing through your veins, it's hot and dangerous. You cannot be tamed easily and this may be the cause of your downfall." A strange grimace graced her wrinkled face. I swear to the gods she is ageing each second! "I see your fall. Someone with too much power automatically becomes a threat. You're no longer seen as an ally, but a monster."
8 182

