“Fucking loser!”

It has always been like this: they start to pick on me, calling me names and demanding for my already empty wallet, then they’ll shove me and push me to the ground.

The bigger one will be throwing a few punches at my face, in which I’ll block. If they’re feeling up to it, they’ll pull down my pants and throw my pants over the wall, forcing me to go back to school with only my checkered boxers.

“This is the 2nd time you’ve forgotten to give us the money, Sung Jae,” the big one says. His gorilla-like face is pissing me off—not that I can do anything about it though.

I lie against the wall, feeling for a wound on my lips. I’m probably bleeding somewhere. Heck, I ought to check my head for swelling after all the times I had the back of my head colliding against the wall… Maybe I’ve got some kind of brick-head kungfu talent?

“Stop spacing out, you fuck face!”

Oh boy.

The big one pulls me up by the collar, dragging me up against the wall. His other hand comes flying, hitting me square in the nose.

Fuck. Did I just hear a pop?

“That’ll teach you to pay attention to your elders when they’re speaking!” He continues, guffawing. “Look, just go back to your mom and tell her you need some money. Then, come back here, give it back to us, so we can all live happily. Alright?”

I wish these people would die. Sincerely. God, if you’re seeing this, smite them for me. Somehow. Come on, man, it’s like, just a little bit of your power!

“Sorry,” I say, giving the usual apology speech, “I’ll try my best to get it again. Please don’t hit me anymore. I’m in pain.”

“Good boy!” The big one says, his triumphant look replicated by his goons.

“I’ll be back in—“

I quickly grab the wall, holding it to support myself. The violent tremor shakes up the goons as well. Some of them fall on their behinds while others are on all fours. The big one comes over to the wall, leaning against it.

“Fuck is going on?” He says. “We haven’t had an earthquake since forever…”

The hell. I hope you will die in an earthquake. May the tectonic plates split just right where you’re standing, so you can fall into the burning abyss.

I look around as the tremor continues, trying to calculate the damage this might cause—wait, why are people just walking around as if nothing’s happening? The buildings are fine… no, if there really was an earthquake, this wall would’ve collapsed anyways! Our school is not built to withstand an earthquake since we never had earthquake problems here.

Then, what is this? Some super tiny-scale tremor? That’s ridiculous.

I turn to the floor, noticing a crack in the concrete. A bright, blue light emerges from the crack, slowly growing in size. It glows brighter and brighter each second.

Soon, I realise I’m enveloped in that light.

***

“…heroes of Elgia. Welcome…”

Damn. I’m groggy as fuck. I want to vomit. I want to pop a few aspirins and sleep. Is there an aspirin here? Where am I? Why is it so bright? It’s so white…and blue. Blue! Blue like the light that enveloped me. Where am I? This isn’t South Korea…

“Your companion has woke up.”

I can faintly hear a gentle lulling female voice. It seems that ‘your companion’ refers to me.

I try to get up. My hearing seems to have come back and so is my sight. I look in front of me, noticing the goons standing in their usual haughty poses and a white-robed, fair-skinned woman, levitating over the ground—wait, levitating?

“What the fuck…” I mutter.

“You must be confused,” she says, “No worries, I have already briefed your companions. Once you’re in Elgia, they’ll tell you everything. For now, let me just briefly explain.”

I decide to shut up.

“Elgia is in deep trouble. Their country is in turmoil. The demons are trying to take over the world again. You, are going into Elgia as esteemed heroes. You will save the country from the disaster and save the world!”

How fucking cliche. Demons taking over the world? Some sort of transmigration? That’s like, several light novels I have at home. So, I’m going to be a character in those stories now?

“Oi, do you get it?” The big one pipes up. “Fucking idiot.”

“Yeah! Don’t ask for another explanation again, dimwit. We’re not going to stay here and let her babysit your dumb ass.”

I nod. Please kill me so I can go another world now. There must be another world that needs saving, right?

The woman raises her hands, floating upwards.

“Go forth, esteemed heroes! Go forth, and save the world!”

A huge portal—I’m not even surprised anymore. Yeah, it’s a huge portal, it’s blue, shimmering. It’s nice. It’s a portal. Where the fuck is this place? Is this ‘Elgia’? Or is this some sort of heaven-hell area in that ‘Elgia’?

The goons are all eager to step through the portal, racing with one another to the portal. Soon, I am left alone. I stand before the portal, observing the waves of blue. The woman floats over to the portal, gently touching my arm.

“Are you not going to step through the portal?”

I wonder if this is going to be a change in my life. I want to go back home and play some computer games. I want to read stories on my phone. I want to eat instant noodles in the dead of the night, binge-watching a great anime series that I chanced upon. I don’t want this. I don’t want responsibility.

I don’t want to be a hero.

But I know whining and complaining aren’t going to get me anywhere.

“If Elgia is saved, will I get to return to my world?”

On a closer look, I see that her eyes are covered by a thin, white veil, similar to the one on a wedding gown. Her lips a deep, dark shade of purple, somehow looking out of place.

“I am not allowed to comment on anything on that matter.”

“Why so?”

“Please step through the portal, Sung Jae,” the woman says.

I sigh. “I don’t want to be a hero.”

“You don’t want to be a hero?”

Well, of course. That goes without saying. “That’s right.”

“Then don’t.”