“What the fuck?!” Kavon yelped when he looked down at his bonded Gnome in all of its dead looking glory. “Seriously?! I bonded a fucking dead person? I can’t believe…”

“Excuse me! Loud stupid person, I believe you’re looking in the wrong direction.” Tom piped up, wearing the vision of Stuffy, well, the healthy vision of Stuffy anyway.

“Holy Crap!! Wait…why does this dead man look just like you? Are you twins? What happened here?”

“No, we are not twins, he is a creation of mine. I am trying to build an animate doll that looks just like me. It’s a hassle to leave my shop and deal with these airheads around here. I’d prefer not to do it since it takes both time away from my work and a great deal of effort to not just kill them all. Security always requires a blood scan when the flags are red. So, naturally I put some of my own blood in his oil and gears. Perfectly reasonable excuse.” Tom said in his most monotone and scholarly impression. With enough pomp, anything could come off as fact. I think.

Kavon had to think through this quickly, he had no idea how long Sariah could keep The Way open for him to finalize the agreements and FINALLY form the bond.

“Okay, I suppose that makes sense. I am Kavon. I come from the Human Realm with the assistance of the first Bonded I have ever seen. This travel may not last long, so I ask of you, will you form an agreement and seal a bond with me? I am a tinkerer and hope to gain a mutually beneficial relationship with you. I am intelligent, physically strong and fast, a member of the mage order and currently have no negative dispositions with law nor country. Mixing science and magic is my dream, I have no real regard for the costs of fulfilling this dream. I would offer the full soul bond to you as well of a pledge of non-violence towards each other. After 100 years, the location of our physical bodies will be your choice. The first 100 years I want to remain on the Human Realm. Do you…” the voice muffled out.

Kavon’s image blurred out, like the way your vision blurred when having your bell rung by a blunt object. Slowly he began to become clearer but his voice still sounded distant. His eyes were huge and pleading for an answer.

Fucking humans! Oh well, he’s bound to be tastier than these dimwit Gnomes. Knowing full well that the auditory portion of this conversation was pretty much trash, Tom made the best deal that a bonded could possibly make.

Kavon impatiently waited as the Gnome began to speak to him. He couldn’t make out any of the words that the Gnome was saying due to the link weakening and began to feel the terror of failure approaching. Suddenly he heard a faint question from the Gnome, “DO YOU ACCEPT MY TERMS?”. Shit, he modified the agreement, but, to what extent. I couldn’t hear a single word that he spoke.

His view was suddenly replaced with an image of Srit hitting Sariah in the face with…Is that a bag full of dicks? Sariah snatched up Srit by the throat and seemed to throw Kavon back into the astral body and the image of the Gnome stood before him again. Desperate to make the Bond, Kavon quickly opened his astral forms being to the Gnome and said the terrible words, “I accept your terms.” as they both began the Bond Chant.

By these words I bond my life to yours

By these actions I accept your oaths

Shall we rise, we rise together

Should we…

Kavon woke up in a heaping mess of pain and torment, a pretty blue woman healing his body and screaming at an imp tied up on the wall.

“You jackass! Where did you even get a bag of dicks?!?! You couldn’t have waited for 5 whole minutes?!”

“I was boooooored. I may or may not have fucked that dog to death, and I needed something else to do!!” Whined the imp.

Kavon blacked out, in complete bewilderment of who he was or what he was doing.

Kavon didn’t know it, but he was totally and completely fucked. Tom was ecstatic.