《Hero Status: Revoked》Arc 1 - 06 - Better Than Nothing

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POV: Kyle Mercer

Having graduated from the mix of mashed up indescribable food they feed babies in this world, I have graduated onto the more substantial food. This took me quite a long time to realize though, because it is all basically the same.

The major vegetables consist of corn, potatoes, peas, onions, and kale. I really expected the vegetables to be back to the point it was at before the demon invasion, but I guess the farmland has not been repaired yet.

We have meat fairly often, however it is the worst meat I have ever tasted. I know a lot of farmland was lost to the demonic armies, but that shouldn't have made the animals actually taste worse! I can only imagine what they feed these creatures to make them taste like this.

When I traveled the kingdom, the majority of herded farm animals were bovine. They had huge bodies and enormous horns, but if the horns were cut off, the bovine would become self-conscious or something and not attack. The meat I have tasted in this new life taste nothing like bovine.

Food is meant to be separated into groups and eaten sequentially, but much like the language, most food is just thrown into a pot and pulled out in whatever way people feel like. It might just be because I don't currently have the most developed teeth, but that is not a reason to forgive these people for not having a single steak the entire time I have lived with them.

Mother, father, what are you thinking? You cannot simply eat soup every breakfast lunch and dinner, it just doesn't work like that. You need a variety of solid and semisolid foods. I won't get jealous, promise.

From my minimal investigations, there are less than half of the vegetables available here than we had before the war, and don't get me started on fruit.

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Alright, fruit. Apples, oranges, lemons, and grapes. That's it. I know what you are asking, where are the bananas? I'll tell you; bananas are gone. Apples, oranges, lemons and grapes. Those are the only 4 fruits I have seen so far, and they suck.

It's almost as if after we pushed back the demonic army, the farmers just threw seeds all over the place and used wind magic to spread them.

Second topic: Utilities. I have a bed. My parents have a bed. We have a table and 4 chairs. We have a three seat couch. That is the end of our seating and lying arrangements. For the final few years of my life I was always on the move with the other 4 heroes, and the beds weren't even this bad. That's right, the beds prepared for us when we got to a camp a few miles from a battlefield was better than the bed I have been sleeping in for over a year.

For cooking, we have two tools for that. A big pot on the ground that everything is thrown into, or a pan that everything is thrown into before later being put in the pot. Something strange that I have found with the cooking methods of this house is the use of magic. They don't use it.

Elena retrieves some wood from outside the back of the house and lights it on fire to heat the pot or the pan. This method is downright primitive. Elena and Fred act like mana is some precious thing to not be spent, and I hardly ever see them use spells except when lighting the initial fire.

Once a spell is cast, it can be maintained by supplying it with minimal mana, so if Elena or Fred would cook by using Flame spells, there wouldn't be so much smoke and we wouldn't need so much wood.

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Third topic: The house. From my limited movement, which peak performance consist of rocking my body, I think I have seen every room in the house. From the living room facing inside the house, there is the front door that I have never been out of to the rear. To the immediate right is my room and a little forward from that is Elena and Fred's room. Directly ahead is the bathroom, and a little on the left of that is the kitchen.

I am quite shocked that we have a bathroom in the house, because in my past life only businesses and the king's palace had those. It really makes me unsure if we are poor or just idiots.

The house is made from wood, like a log cabin, but the house was in the middle of a large town which made it completely out of place. The houses one each side of ours are also made like log cabins, but the ones on the other side of the street are made from normal cob. Strange as it might sound, I have not left the house yet, but I know the roof is wood too. The homes across the street have thatched roofs.

Judging from the materials possessions we have, I would say we are poor. Judging from how happy Elena and Fred are with this life and each other, I think they're just idiots.

POV: Fred Mercer

Every day is a challenge, but I am a champion. My father told me I would never be able to raise a family of my own with a job as a city guard, and only drunks and degenerates were good for that. I sure showed him though.

Got myself a beautiful wife at the age of 18 and had my first child with her just two years later. It might not be the best of houses, but at 19 when I bought my home, it was all I could ever ask for. A place for just me and Elena. Plenty of the other guards say I should have just spent the money on booze and prostitutes, but I know I made the right choice.

Elena makes delicious soup with the best ingredients every day, and then at night I go to sleep in the most comfortable bed in the human empire. Here with my wife and child, it is... a truly blessed life.

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