《KINGDOM RISE, CASTING CROWNS: Your Way Called Peace (ACT I)》~CHAPTER XXXII: The Hard Truth~
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When they arrived at the entrance of the willow garden that led to Jinhai’s study, Xiu Juan marveled at the old swaying branches that swept the walkway. Through the screen doors, Xiu Juan saw Hui Zhong walk out. She stopped in her steps and stared at him. When he reached the entrance way, he walked past the concubines and only acknowledged Xiu Juan.
“Why, Empress,” he bowed his head and greeted in his low voice. “What brings you here to this side of the palace?”
“Unit Commander Hui Zhong,” Xiu Juan addressed, staring at him coldly. “I only wanted to visit the emperor for a brief moment.”
“Oh?” Hui Zhong raised his eyebrow. “Well, he does not want to be bothered right now. Perhaps if you come later.” He waved his hand to the concubines. Ngo Kwang obligingly bowed and backed away.
Dandan approached them with a tea set and Hui Zhong nodded at her.
“I’ve waited long enough to speak to this man I am to address as my husband by your arrangement,” Xiu Juan stood her ground and rejected. “I will go see him now and you WILL pardon my way. If I am not mistaken by your high reputation, I trust that you will not disobey the Empress’s wish.”
Hui Zhong turned his eyes to Xiu Juan and glared at her but her eyes pierced through his cold stare. Being too prideful to refuse the order of the Zhao empress and soil his good name, he backed down and lowered his head.
“Your highness,” he reluctantly obeyed.
Xiu Juan, her heart pounding fast, continued to hold her head high and looked down at him. “A wise decision,” she returned his words to him.
Hui Zhong raised his eyes to her realizing she turned the table against him. Xiu Juan turned to Dandan and extended her arms out to take the tray holding the tea set. She dismissed Dandan and turned to the entrance way to carry on while the concubines stared wide-eyed at her wits against Hui Zhong.
Before she proceeded through the threshold, Hui Zhong raised his head and straightened himself. Standing side by side and facing opposite directions, Hui Zhong commented to Xiu Juan, “You possess a dangerous tongue, your highness. A threat or a gift to us, I am not sure. But you will be on my closest watch.”
“Be calm, Unit Commander Hui Zhong. It’s only tea,” Xiu Juan simply stated and advanced forward, clutching tightly onto the tray with the tea set.
Inside the garden, the long layers of her gown joined the drooping willow branches and swept the walkway as she rippled through. She slid the door to the study and made her way in. Shutting the door quietly behind her, she slid through the hallway.
Jinhai heard fabric brushing against the hardwood floor and assumed it was Hui Zhong returning.
“Hui Zhong, I thought you left,” Jinhai said, not lifting his eyes from his books.
Hearing Jinhai’s voice, Xiu Juan paused and held her breath.
“You grabbed me the wrong book,” Jinhai continued as he rolled the book up and fastened it with a rope. “Return this to Gen and retrieve me the Book of Analects.”
Still not looking up from his books, Xiu Juan cleared her throat to catch his attention. He lifted his head and his eyes met with Xiu Juan’s. He slowly lowered his book and forwarded his attention toward her, his expression relaxed and his eyes focused.
“I’ve brought you tea,” Xiu Juan said softly.
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“Where’s Dandan?” He asked.
“I offered to bring it in for her,” Xiu Juan replied.
“Is that so?” Jinhai turned his eyes to the steam escaping from kettle’s snout. He picked his book back up and continued to read.
Xiu Juan poured him a cup and set it to the side. She could smell the bitterness from the brew.
“I take it that you prefer your tea bitter?”
“I just drink whatever,” Jinhai responded blankly. “I’ve had it no other way.”
Xiu Juan took a sample and flinched at the bitterness. She put her sleeve up to her lips. She looked at Jinhai who was still reading.
“I…Back at home I used to brew tea often. I guess you can say that I can make a rather nice kettle of tea. If you like, I can make you some,” Xiu Juan suggested softly.
Jinhai turned his eyes to her. “You make me tea?” He asked.
Xiu Juan smiled, “I can show you how Qin drinks their tea!”
Jinhai went back to reading and chuckled. “What day and age it is to have someone from Qin share tea with me,” he scoffed.
Xiu Juan softened her smile and furrowed her brows lightly. She glared away and then stood up to leave after she could no longer bear sitting in the same room with him. Before stepping out, she turned to him to say something but decided to leave with things unsaid.
The next morning, Xiu Juan dressed herself in the plainest clothing and fumbled her way through the palace to find the kitchen. Many people were puzzled when she asked for directions there. They raised their brows at her while others snickered. Others stared at her thinking she acted too different. When she arrived, she flipped through the cabinets for herbs and took out the ones she wanted. She borrowed some pots and began her fire on the stovetop. When Dandan found her, she gasped and rushed toward her.
“Empress! What do you think you are doing?”
Xiu Juan coughed as the smoke rose from fanning the flame. She turned her head to the voice and smiled.
“Ah, Dandan! Good morning.”
Dandan’s eyes were wide and stunned. “Why are you out here doing this? Is there no one you can call upon to retrieve your needs?” She shrieked. “Maids! Maids! How could you just stand there? Come here and take over!”
“No, no! Don’t yell at them. I wanted to do this,” Xiu Juan stood up.
Dandan raised her eyebrow. She didn’t quite understand Xiu Juan. “What do you mean you wanted to do this?”
“I wanted to brew some of my own tea,” Xiu Juan clarified with Dandan.
“You? Brew tea?”
“Yes,” Xiu Juan said as she returned to her fire.
“Well, I don’t understand! This is not proper for you, Empress! You mustn’t come out dressed like that and do these kinds of deeds!” Dandan interjected. She huffed and crossed her arms. “This is wrong. I knew we should’ve never married outside of Zhao! Do the people of Qin enslave their royalties?”
Xiu Juan stopped and stood to face Dandan. She pierced a glare deep into Dandan’s eyes. Unappreciated by her remark, Xiu Juan stopped her from ranting any further.
“I will make myself clear, Dandan,” Xiu Juan began, “that even the sovereigns of Qin do not enslave their people. We make good example to those below us because we hope that in this way they can lead a greater generation than those before us. Therefore, this makes your conjecture far from fact.”
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Dandan stared at Xiu Juan wide-eyed and froze. Xiu Juan turned from Dandan and continued with her tea.
“I am a strong believer that just because someone is privileged it doesn’t mean they mustn’t learn to do things that will help themselves.”
Dandan breathed heavily. Her heart was beating fast from her empress scolding at her, “You are just full of surprises, Empress.”
“So I’ve heard,” Xiu Juan smiled at Dandan.
Dandan huffed and turned away to leave Xiu Juan be. After Xiu Juan finished brewing, she hurriedly headed to Jinhai’s side of the palace. She met with the concubines again who just got out of the bathhouse.
“Ah, good morning.” She greeted them.
They looked at her and raised their brows. They were appalled at the sight. Xiu Juan, forgetting she was still in her dirty clothes, looked down at her attire.
“Oh, excuse my appearance,” she chuckled; brushing herself with one hand while the other held a cup and a hot kettle.
“What were you doing?” Ngo Kwang asked.
“Oh it was nothing. I was brewing some tea,” she said.
“Learning from Dandan?” Ngo Kwang asked.
“Oh no. I was brewing my own,” Xiu Juan corrected.
“Oh?” Ngo Kwang was surprised. She grabbed the lock of her hand and draped it over her slender shoulders. “Well, don’t get too caught up in it. People will not be able to tell you apart from the servants,” she said as she walked away. The other concubines giggled and followed closely after her.
Xiu Juan frowned and continued on to where Jinhai would be. Almost near to his location, her heart began to sink. What if he doesn’t even drink a sip? What if I never get into his thick skull? Xiu Juan thought. No, no. I will just keep on trying as it is hard to put down someone who never gives up. She lifted her head higher and turned at the corner of the white corridors. She jumped when she saw Nianzu and caught her kettle from burning him.
“Sir Nianzu!” She lowered her head and excused herself. “I apologize. I did not watch my steps and almost burnt you!”
Nianzu chuckled, “Oh dear Empress, why are you apologizing? It is I that got in your way. Ah, these old eyes of mine cannot guide my way around here anymore,” he lifted up his glasses to his eyes, “Ah, there we go,” he smiled. He saw the kettle in her left hand and his eyes lit up. “Oh? What is that, may I ask?”
Xiu Juan smiled brightly in return, “I brewed some tea for the emperor!”
“Oh ho ho ho! The empress brews her own tea! Isn’t that something?”
Xiu Juan nodded, getting a little happier.
Nianzu looked at her outfit, “You are wearing that to see him?”
Xiu Juan looked down at her attire again. “Ah, yes. I didn’t want to change and have this get cold.”
Nianzu laughed. “You are perhaps the only woman I know that will not doll herself up before meeting with Jinhai!”
Xiu Juan, caring about the kind Nianzu’s opinions, began to get self conscious. “Should I hurry and go change first?”
Nianzu shook his head. “No, no, no. Go on like that. Deliver the tea. As you said, that is what’s important to you. Besides,” he looked at Xiu Juan and raised his hands to pat her shoulders, “grace does not need to be complimented with jewels and other mere things as such.”
Reminding her of Sir Guozhi, she sighed and smiled warmly at Nianzu and lowered her head to thank him.
“I’ll take my leave now, Sir Nianzu,” she said politely.
“Ah, yes, yes. Go before your kettle cools.”
Xiu Juan, with her spirits being lifted a little, rushed to Jinhai’s study and left the tea kettle on the warmer by his table. She smiled with confidence and left.
That afternoon, Jinhai came into his study and saw the warm kettle of tea waiting for him. He only stared at it coldly and left it sitting on the table. He continued to read his books without even glancing at Xiu Juan’s tea.
That evening, Xiu Juan went back to the study and lifted the kettle. She dropped her shoulders when she felt that it was still heavy.
Maybe it got cold when he came in? Maybe he did drink some but only a little? Maybe he didn’t like it? Her thoughts were running around inside her head. She just sighed, picked it up and emptied it.
In her chamber that night, Luli noticed Xiu Juan’s solemn face while combing her hair.
“Xiu Juan, what’s the matter?” Luli asked.
“He didn’t even touch it,” Xiu Juan muttered.
“What? Touch what?” Luli wondered.
“I brewed him some tea. But he didn’t even touch it,” Xiu Juan repeated. “I was hoping it would ease things between us a bit.”
“Hmmm,” Luli sighed, “Don’t let that put you down. Keep trying. Or find something else you both relate to. Umm…like…just something. I know you will think of it. You always do.”
“You’re right. It was the first day. I will keep trying to change his mind about Qin,” Xiu Juan straightened her posture.
Luli smiled and nodded.
Xiu Juan smiled back at Luli and readied herself for the next day.
Day after day, Xiu Juan convinced Dandan to let her brew Jinhai’s tea and continued to do so every morning and set it inside his study. He reacted the same way each time he entered the room and every evening when Xiu Juan returned for the kettle, it would be heavy. Still, she delivered her tea for the continuing weeks.
One evening, she returned to pick up the kettle but Jinhai was still inside. Startled, she lowered her head to him.
“Excuse my intrusion. I thought you’d be gone by now,” Xiu Juan apologized.
Jinhai placed his eyes on her from behind his lamp.
“You’ve been placing the tea kettle on my table every morning?” Jinhai spoke in a low voice as he organized his books into a pile.
“Yes,” Xiu Juan answered quickly.
“Why would you continue to do such thing?” Jinhai stood up and stared at her, the light from lamp drawing off from his well defined features.
Xiu Juan clenched onto the sleeves of her silver gown, “Why not?” She raised her eyes to his. “I thought it would probably make things more comfortable between us.”
He looked away and blew out the light in his lamp. He walked past her and toward the door. He paused, “Shouldn’t the first or second time be a hint for you to quit?”
“If everyone quit as soon as the first or second time, they would never what they could have achieved if they kept on trying,” Xiu Juan argued.
After a small moment of silence, Jinhai turned to her. “Come with me. I want to show you something,” he said as he slid open the door and lead the way out.
She followed him out the doors of the palace and saw her white horse, Shan, waiting with Jinhai’s dark horse.
Jinhai collected two cloaks from a guard and handed one to Xiu Juan.
“Put it on,” he ordered her.
She wrapped it around her and placed the hood over her head. Jinhai lit two lamps and handed the other to Xiu Juan. She took it from his hand and stared at him.
“Where are you planning to take me?” She asked him sternly.
He turned his eyes to her while he was adjusting his saddle. “You don’t trust me?” He guessed.
Xiu Juan kept her unyielding eyes on Jinhai who climbed onto his horse.
“Hurry,” he ordered her again.
She reluctantly climbed onto Shan and rode after Jinhai under the red sky.
When they reached a clearing at the top of the mountain, Jinhai got off his horse and stood by the edge. Xiu Juan followed and approached Jinhai while clinging onto her cloak tightly as the wind tried to whip through her layers.
“Standing on this peak, you could see all sides of Zhao. The North. The South. The East.”
Xiu Juan looked and was in awe at the sight of the sun setting behind the mountains. Unsure of his true intent, she turned her head to Jinhai. He was looking at the Western side of Zhao.
“There’s the West,” he spoke lowly.
He pointed to a large patch of land that had countless stones standing on top of it.
Xiu Juan widened her eyes. Tombs? She gasped. Her stomach twisted at the strong guess of what it was.
“Do you know what that is?” He asked Xiu Juan.
She stared at him painfully. She knew from the many books she had read before.
“That is the memorial site of the notorious Battle of Changping. That is where my people were buried alive by your people,” he pierced his furious eyes into Xiu Juan’s. “All four hundred thousand murdered by your own grandfather!”
“Your highness,” she only exhaled, not being able to say anything else in return at the moment.
“I want you to understand that some things cannot be fixed no matter how much you will try, Xiu Juan of Qin. I will never be able to see you as anyone other than someone I must loathe,” he said coldly and turned his back to her, crossing his arms behind him as he breathed heavily. “Tell me how one can heal from such loss?”
She watched his dark silver and black attire dance in the wind as though they were battle flags waving to their soldiers. Though Jinhai stood tall and poised,—making his shoulders appear broader than they really were—she could feel his raging aura waltzing around him. She looked passed Jinhai’s shoulders and placed her eyes to the memorial site. Unable to bear the sight and the unimaginable number of dead men, her eyes began to well at the thought of such fear all of the men who have ever fought must have felt. The whole reality of the world began to tumble down and crush her, making her feel small and helpless. Hatred was real. Wickedness continued to lurk. What was left for one person to hold onto in such a world?
Loosening her grip on her cloak, it blew open and her layers fluttered in the air around her. She was yanked out of her haze from the sound of a jingling noise and looked down to see Ying-tai’s charm swaying in the wind. Her eyes became livelier as she touched it. Of course. She snapped out of her negativity.
“Hope,” she said calmly, cradling her charm and looking at it warmly. The redness of the sky was now turning into a dusk blue.
Jinhai turned to her. Xiu Juan raised her head and stared into Jinhai’s eyes that were once intimidating to her. He saw determination and strength in her eyes and was taken aback by this.
“You took me up here and tried to show me pain when all I ever wanted to do was befriend you. Yes, I see that hatred is real, a great thanks to this. And pain? Everyone feels it every day. We are constantly fighting. Parting. Yearning. That’s why in a world like this, we cannot allow ourselves to compare our pain to another’s! If anything, we must share the one thing we have—even if it may only be sorrow—and make something good out of it.” Xiu Juan approached closer to Jinhai, “Things will only be unfixable if you refuse to let go of what’s weighing you down.”
Xiu Juan turned around and walked toward her horse. Before mounting, she turned her head to the side to say one last thing, “I know you hate me. I especially see that now and I understand. But there are still people suffering out there so I will not let you falter me from hoping for a better future for both of our states.” She looked down at her charm, “I will not stop hoping for a better future for those I love.” She climbed onto her white horse and yanked at the reins and rode down the mountain as Jinhai watched her till she disappeared into the day that was surrendering to the drape of darkness that unveiled the full moon.
When Xiu Juan reached her room, she dropped onto her cushion mat and laid herself on top of her table. The doors to her large balcony were opened and the white drapes caressed her while she sat languished.
“Xiu Juan?” She heard a small voice call for her. She raised her head and turned to see Luli looking at her. She knelt down by Xiu Juan and patted her shoulder.
“He loathes me. Entirely,” Xiu Juan spoke in almost a whisper.
Luli shook her head, “We talked about this before, remember?”
“No,” Xiu Juan stopped Luli. “He told me himself. He can’t see me as anyone other than a person he must loathe.”
“Oh dear,” Luli exhaled and looked down. “What are you going to do now?”
“I don’t know. I don’t even feel comfortable being anywhere near his sight anymore,” Xiu Juan grumbled. She continued lay her head down, heavy hearted.
Luli sighed and took an effort to comfort her. “Well, you are his wife. Whether you or he likes it or not, you’re both stuck here together,” Luli looked at Xiu Juan. “For now that is. Best if you make something out of it during this time, right? I mean, if you don’t, the longer we’ll have to stay here.”
Xiu Juan stared back at Luli and lightly grinned. “You’re right.”
Luli patted her back and stood back up to grab Xiu Juan’s night gown, “Ahhh, he’s just an angry little boy!” She groaned.
Indeed he is. Xiu Juan agreed. “Oh, Luli?” She called to her. “Do you know Ngo Kwang?”
Luli turned around and thought for a moment. “Ngo Kwang, Ngo Kwang, Ngo Kwang,” she repeated out loud, “Oh yes! Bo told me she was the first-rank concubine.”
“Bo? He told you that?” Xiu Juan was a little worried for Bo being near women like that. “What is a first-rank concubine anyway?”
“Well, Bo said they are numbered in the order to marry the emperor. If you were first-rank, you were first picked. Remember when Guang told you about the late empress calling for girls from all of Zhao?”
Xiu Juan nodded.
“Well, yeah, she was one of them. Ngo Kwang was the one considered most beautiful, talented, and whatnot,” Luli continued. “But that’s what Bo told me so…don’t cite me if I end up giving wrong information,” she chuckled.
“No, I think Bo got it right,” Xiu Juan analyzed.
“You’ve met her?” Luli said as she brought Xiu Juan’s white gown over.
“Yes,” Xiu Juan said.
“Really? I think she puts on too much make up. All of them do,” Luli scrunched her nose.
“I think she’s quite lovely,” Xiu Juan thought as she slid her arms out of her silk sleeves.
“Meh,” Luli shrugged as she folded the garments Xiu Juan took off.
“I haven’t seen Bo in a long while,” Xiu Juan mentioned.
“He’s usually just running all around Zhao,” Luli informed.
“He must know it pretty well by now, as it is what I expect from him,” Xiu Juan believed.
“I’d say, for the most part, yes,” Luli agreed.
“Since that’s so, tell him I want to see him tomorrow morning. I want him to take me to the village and show me Zhao.”
Luli’s eyes widened, “You want to go out there?”
“Yes. As Empress of Zhao, I ought to know my people,” Xiu Juan said as she untwined her jeweled chain and let her hair fall over her shoulders.
“I’ll let him know,” Luli obeyed Xiu Juan’s wishes and left.
At the other side of the palace, Jinhai walked through his white corridors and stopped when he heard footsteps coming from around the corner. Recognizing the footsteps, he called out to the person.
“Hui Zhong,” he addressed clearly, not even seeing his face yet.
Hearing Jinhai’s voice, Hui Zhong rushed his pace and bowed before him as soon as he was in sight.
“Your majesty,” he exasperated. “We were looking all over for you! You had us worried! Where were you?”
Jinhai continued to his stride. “You mustn’t worry too much, Hui Zhong. You’ll cut your lifespan in half. Why were you looking for me in such a frantic manner? This better be important.”
“We got news that Qin has successfully conquered the capital of Chu. They stormed inside and captured the last king of Chu,” Hui Zhong announced.
“And what happened to the king?” Jinhai asked as they maintained their pace.
“They exiled him,” Hui Zhong answered.
Jinhai turned his eyes to Hui Zhong. “Usually one would execute the last living person of the monarch family. Why just let him go?”
“I’m afraid I don’t have an answer for that,” Hui Zhong lowered his head.
Jinhai furrowed his brows. “Hmph. Emperor Fuchu was a callous man who drained the blood of his own brother just so he can sit on a decorated seat. For one to believe that power is simply achieved just by holding a title that some people claim as high-worthy is pitiable. That is cowardly.”
Opening the door to his great chamber, he took off his cloak and hung it. He sat at his desk and Hui Zhong lit a large lamp for him. Jinhai rolled up his dark sleeves and pulled out paper, ink, and a brush.
“I expect you know their next move?” Jinhai hinted Hui Zhong to continue with further information as he continued to write.
“Of course. They will head south to secure control of the lands resided by barbarians. If things follow according to their plan, Qin will most likely pull their troops to head to Qi,” Hui Zhong forecasted.
“Mm,” Jinhai was thinking. “Hui Zhong, distribute our men to the remaining Qin troops we aren’t positioned by already. Have this Commandment of Succor delivered to all of the head officials at the camp they’re assigned to. By now everyone should know we are no longer fighting against each other and Qin will have to consent to our considerate support. With our men positioned by all posts of their crimson military, we can keep watch and keep them under control if things happen to turn out of line.”
Hui Zhong smiled at the idea. “Yes, your majesty!” He bowed.
“I would like to stall them from taking Qi, though,” Jinhai contemplated. “If Qin takes over Qi, it would only be one more thing for us to take care of later if they end up turning their back on us.”
“I was thinking the same thing,” Hui Zhong furrowed his brows.
“Perhaps we could send an envoy to convince them to stay idle,” Jinhai pressed his back against his chair. “Who leads that faction heading toward Qi?” Jinhai raised his eyes and looked at Hui Zhong.
“Your majesty, I am as much concerned as you are in regards to Qin sieging Qi, but I have to say that detaining them from such objective will not work,” he lowered his head. He returned his eyes to Jinhai. “The person who leads that faction is Qin’s Unit Commander: Ying-tai.”
The expression in Jinhai’s eyes changed.
“If we send some of our men there to try to display good intent, he will only reject the offer and force them back,” Hui Zhong warned.
“He lives like a true man of Qin, but Qin blood does not even run in his veins,” Jinhai recalled the information Jiao Long shared. He finished his letter of commandment and stamped it with his seal. He held it up and handed it to Hui Zhong.
“Send some men anyway. If they want Qi, have our men go ahead and allow Qin fight for it,” Jinhai said.
“Of course,” Hui Zhong tucked the letter under his armor. Before turning around to leave, he asked Jinhai again, “Forgive me for asking again—where did you go earlier?”
Jinhai looked up from his desk, one of his eyebrows raised at Hui Zhong.
“I went for a ride with that girl,” Jinhai told him.
“Xiu Juan?” Hui Zhong’s eyes widened. “Your majesty, you must be careful around her—”
“There’s nothing to fear, Hui Zhong,” Jinhai stopped him. “I wanted to show her that things between us would be unchanged.” He paused. “I took her to the Battle of Changping memorial site.”
“You didn’t!” Hui Zhong let out a laugh, surprised and pleased. He hoped the experience scarred Xiu Juan. He believed it was deserving for her. “How was it?”
Jinhai thought back to the look in her eyes. It gave him an uneasy feeling. He was unsure what it was. Could it be because he suspected that he was probably dealing with someone more dangerous than he estimated? Did he carelessly place threat into his palace? Or perhaps the thought of a challenging person was thrilling to him?
“I think I got the point across,” was all Jinhai said.
“Ah, excellent then,” Hui Zhong relaxed his shoulders. “I’ll leave you now, your highness.”
Jinhai nodded slightly and Hui Zhong exited. After the sound of the door shut, Jinhai opened the door to his balcony and walked out. With his hands crossed behind him, he furrowed his brows as he thought of Xiu Juan.
“Who do you think you are, Xiu Juan of Qin?” He said softly into the night and closed his eyes.
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