Jumping back in time, in the last English class Raymond had during his first week of school, he and Miss Interpretation had a conversation about where and when they were going to have what Raymond called his “date”.

The conversation started with Miss Interpretation saying, “So on what days are you available? I’d like to meetup at the start of next week to get this project done quickly.”

Raymond wanted to do the typical nice guy thing to do and say yes to his crush’s every whim, but Raymond knew he needed all the time he could get in order to prepare for his date. So Raymond decided to tell Miss Interpretation that he couldn’t meetup with her at her preferred time.

Fortunately for Raymond between his mental breakdown on the first day of school and group work he had done with Miss Interpretation throughout that first week, he had gotten slightly less nervous when talking to her. He was starting to build some strong nerves. Making up an excuse as to why he couldn't meetup with her at her preferred time was a non-issue.

Raymond responded, “We can’t meet up at the start of next week because something happened.”

“Oh, what happened?” Miss Interpretation responded in a concerned voice.

Raymond’s strong nerves instantly collapsed.

Oh shit, if I avoid her question she’s going to find out I’m bullshitting hard. I need to make up a good excuse.

“Oh ummmm….. You see I can’t go because ummm…”

What's a story I can make up to convince her that I have a reason for not wanting to meetup with her on her requested date? Oh, I know! Girls love cute dogs, so I'll just make up a story involving me and a cute dog! And better yet, she thinks I have a dog because of that self-introduction of mine!

Raymond went on to say, “So you see, last night I decided to take my dog out for a walk. So I got out a plastic bag, put on my shoes, and tried to get my dog. But my dog was tired and didn’t want to move a muscle. Though I still wanted to take him out on a walk because my mom told me it’s good for his health. So then I got out his water and his dog cookies and after a nice meal he decided he wanted to go out on a walk. But then I remembered that I don’t own a leash. This is because my little brother lost it. This lead me to go to the leash store and there I bought a really expensive fancy le-”

Raymond stopped speaking when he noticed that Miss Interpretation was looking at him with a blank stare. Clearly she was wondering how the hell what Raymond was saying had anything to do with why he couldn’t make it to their meetup.

So far Raymond had just been making up his story as he went along and hadn’t thought up an ending. But now that Miss Interpretation’s attention was drifting, he knew that he had to end his story fast or else she would find him boring or weird.

Raymond went on to say, “What I’m trying to say is that my dog wasn’t moving initially because he is dying, or at least my family thinks he might be. I currently have to drive my dog to the vet everyday after school so the vet can treat and check-up on him, and I’ll be doing this until my vet tells me whether or not my dog is going to die anytime soon. He should give me the info at 4:00pm on Friday next week. Because of this I can’t meetup with you anytime before then. Let’s meetup at 5:00pm on Friday next week.”

Miss Interpretation looked very worried.

“Oh, that sounds really troubling. Though I have an appointment I have to attend to on Friday at around 5:00pm. It’s not a problem at all if I have to reschedule it, but is it possible for us to meetup at a different time?”

“I guess we could meet up later but then I think we’d be getting this project done too close to the deadline. I think it would be best if you could reschedule your appointment.”

“Ok, I’ll be sure to go do that. So now that that’s been decided, do you have any suggestions on where we should meet?”

Raymond wanted their meeting place to be either in her bedroom or in his bed, but of course he knew he couldn’t ask her to go to either of those places. So he began thinking of another place for them to go.

What’s someplace romantic we can meetup in? Well, dinner dates are pretty romantic. Though they’re way too expensive.

Raymond kept pondering about places to go to, and finally came up with a solution.

The local McDonald's!

Wait, no, that’s stupid. I need to think of a cheap dining establishment that isn’t stupid. Oh, I got another idea.

Raymond opened his mouth and said, “Let’s do our project and eat in the school cafeteria.”

“That sounds like a good idea. I’ll be sure to reschedule my appointment and take good care in being punctual.”

And with that their conversation ended. Raymond was relieved that it didn’t end up as a complete disaster. Though Miss Interpretation’s mention of her “appointment” made him very curious. Of course he could have just asked her what her appointment was about, but Raymond was too shy to do that.

Well, maybe she’s talking about a doctor’s appointment. Or an appointment with some teachers. Or with a tutor. Though Friday nights are known as a time where people my age have parties, get drunk, and have……. no, Miss Interpretation can’t be doing that. She’s too sweet and pure be going to see some big strong “doctors” and have a “special examination” where they’d tell her to lift up her skirt and give her a “shot”.

***

From that day onwards Raymond mostly lived his ordinary everyday life. Raymond’s ordinary life consisted of him going to school, almost getting late each time. Then he would go to his boring classes. The only class that really mattered to him was his English class where he’d see Miss Interpretation every weekday except Friday. After he got done with all of his classes he went home as fast as possible. When he would get home he would enact his new-found hobby of having a date with his Sonic plushie. Then he would be a good little boy and spend the necessary amount of time half-assing his homework. After that he’d stay up late every night playing video games, watching youtube videos and anime, and choking his chicken.

However as I said before, Raymond’s life was only mostly back to the way it used to be. Since Miss Interpretation had entered his life he started feeling both a great joy and a great sadness. Everyday when he would see her in class, he would be happy. His English class had a lot of partner discussions and Miss Interpretation was a very sweet girl and would always participate and talk to Raymond and listen to what he had to say. These conversations were especially important to Raymond because they were the only conversations he’d have in school. Raymond had no friends at his local college and he spent his days like he spent half of his years in grade school: a loner.

When Raymond talked to Miss Interpretation he felt as if she was his only friend on his college campus. Suffice to say, Raymond felt lonely. And the lonelier Raymond felt the more he would think about Miss Interpretation. More specifically he would think about how much he wanted to be with her. And these thoughts hurt. It made the three day break from Friday to Sunday where he didn’t see her feel like an eternity. They do say separation makes the heart grow fonder, but Raymond felt like his fondness for Miss Interpretation was killing him.

Though despite feeling like his love for her was killing him, Raymond knew very little about Miss Interpretation. All he knew about her from observing her in class was that she was a sweet and elegant beautiful young woman. He had no clue what her hobbies were and he didn’t even know what her name was because he was too shy to ask her about it, and too dumb to remember it whenever he heard it uttered. But her good looks, sweet personality, and a handful of fantasies was all Raymond needed to see her as “the one”. Knowing how little he was around the girl he considered to be “the one” only made him feel lonelier, and his loneliness soon became hatred.

More specifically, he began to hate two certain groups of people. The rowdy, tall, and handsome jock-like men Raymond liked to call “Chads” and the dimwitted usually blond stereotypical pretty girls Raymond liked to call "Stacys”. These people always seemed to have a harem of the opposite sex circling around them. It made Raymond bitter watching them have such fulfilling social lives while he was a friendless loner. Raymond grew very jealous but also very hateful towards these people because they’d never share their fun with him. And he hated how others just let them hog all the fun. And Raymond was sure that his hatred of the Chads and Stacys was mutual, as he was certain that the Chads and Stacys were mocking him behind his back.

Raymond’s hatred towards Chads and Stacys culminated during his Thursday English class in the second week of school.

Halfway through the class the teacher started the class’s daily ten minute break. During this brake Raymond heard a bunch of Chads and Stacys talking in the back of the classroom.

One Chad said to another one of his Chad brethren, “Dude last weekend was such a blast. I went on a date with Mary and we made out.”

He looked so happy.

Go stick your dick in a beehive.

Raymond heard another Chad respond by saying, “Cool. I have an awesome story to tell you about how my weekend was too. Me and a group of friends went to James’ party and it was some sick stuff. We started the night by….”

He looked as if he was enveloped in bliss.

How about you tell ten stories and jump off!

Raymond then heard a Stacy say to the two Chads, “That’s nothing compared to my weekend. Me, my boyfriend, and a couple of my girlfriends went to the beach for my birthday. It started with my boyfriend driving me and my friends in his lambo. His lambo was so shiny and cool. While we were driving to the beach in my boyfriend’s lambo we….”

She sounded like a cheerful bunny rabbit hopping through a meadow of flowers completely blind to the melancholy of the world.

If I hear lambo one more time I’m gonna to lambo burn this school to the ground!!

Goddammit why do you people get to have such fulfilling weekends and not me! Do they know how it’s like to sit home alone all day thinking about how much you WISH you were with the one you love? Do they know how it’s like to sit home alone with your only interaction with a female being with an Asian cartoon girl on a computer screen? You Chads and Stacys suck! And I mean that literally!

Fortunately Miss Interpretation didn’t seem to be a Stacy. She dressed very formally with a nice high cut dress, was sweet, seemed diligent in her school work, and rarely ever hung out with any of those meathead Chads. In fact, Miss Interpretation rarely hung around guys at all, and when she did, she didn’t look like she was lubby dubby with them. She mostly just hung out with other girls. And the girl she seemed to like hanging out the most with was Miss Take. In fact she was talking to Miss Take this very break. Miss Take was a girl who who was always glued to either her Iphone or 3DS playing games. When Miss Interpretation wasn’t around, Miss Take wouldn’t talk to anyone and would just retreat back into her games like a total loner. Of course this gave Raymonnd an oppurtunity to talk to someone like him, but he was too shy to do that. Plus, while Raymond did like nerdy girls, he was repulsed by turbo nerds. On top of that, Miss Take was the polar opposite of Miss Interpretation looks wise. Miss Interpretation was a very pretty girl who always looked very neat and regal. Miss Take on the other-hand was a very disheveled-looking girl with very messy hair, didn’t put on any make-up, and her dress didn’t look nearly as fashionable. Also while Miss Interpretation was taller and much more curvaceous than your average girl, Miss Take on the other hand was very short and flat.

Going back to talking about Miss Interpretation, while it was a relief that Miss Interpretation wasn’t a part of that crummy Chad and Stacy crowd, Raymond still wasn’t happy with the fact that no one talked to him during break time. Raymond told himself that he wanted nothing to do with Chads and Stacys, but deep down he knew he wanted nothing more than to be like them. He wished one of them would invite him into their group and let him talk to them. Actually, Raymond didn’t need a Chad or a Stacy to talk to him in order to be happy. He thought he would be overjoyed if a girl, any girl, showed some concern or pity for him and went out of her way to talk to him. He felt that if that could happen it would not just make his day, but his month, or possibly even his year.

But a girl going out her way to talk to him anytime soon seemed like an impossibility.

Tired and depressed, Raymond sunk his head down onto his desk.

“Hey that table partner of yours told me that your dog is dying. If that’s really true then I feel so sorry for you. I hope your dog makes a recovery and still has a long and happy life ahead of him!”

Raymond heard a scratchy chain-smoker-like voice speaking to him. He picked his head up to see who was talking to him. It was Miss Take. Anxiety and terror soon consumed him.

Goddammit not this dying dog bullshit again. And here I am starting to feel nervous again now that I have to talk to and lie to someone new.

Raymond responded, “Y-yea it’s true. My dog has been quite sick. It’s a real American tragedy heh heh heh. But don’t worry, I’m almost certain that he’ll make a quick and expedient recovery.”

“Oh, that’s good to hear.”

“Yea I know right.”

"By the way, I'm curious, how exactly does your dog look like?"

"Well, he's a Chiwawa..."

Raymond's and Miss Take's conversation continued and as it did Raymond's fear quickly turned into boredom. Raymond liked talking about video games and Anime. Not imaginary dying dogs. Raymond wanted to end this conversation quickly and prevent anymore conversations like it.

He said in a quiet voice, "And by the way, I'm not particularly fond of talking about my sick dog. It's a bit of a depressing subject. Also I'd like you to not to tell anyone else about my little situation. I'm not fond of people knowing about it."

"Oh, I'm so sorry for bothering you. I guess it would be troubling if people knew about your dying dog." Miss Take responded in a loud concerned voice.

The group of Chads and Stacys heard Miss Take and one of the Chads said, "Wow that's terrible man. Be sure to tell your family that I wish your dog the best of luck and I hope he makes a quick recovery."

Raymond’s anxiety spiked up again.

Oh no they’re multiplying! Goddammit what was I thinking when I told her to keep a secret. I know better than anyone that a loner will figure out a way to fuck anything up. And because of her I have to keep up my imagery dog dying lie in front of a group of new people! Better figure out a way to talk my way out of this one.

Raymond responded, “Yea…. It’s uh- it’s very-like making trouble an- oh look at the time. It’s time for me to take my Thursday walk. See ya later!”

Raymond got out of his seat and bolted out of the room.

Why did you guys have to make me do this? How dare you idiots show some concern!

As Raymond was leaving the classroom he heard Miss Take yell to him, “Oopsie! Sorry, I didn’t mean to be so loud when talking about dying dog.”

At this point the whole class probably knew about Raymond's dying dog fiasco.

But fortunately all of that was all literally behind Raymond, and after the break people didn’t talk to him about his dog and the rest of the school day went as it normally did.

***

That night Raymond continued to practice for his big day that was right around the corner. In addition to talking to his plushie he also made a plan that involved a list of steps that he would enact on his big day, and Raymond was confident that this plan would woo over Miss Interpretation. He named his plan “How to Fix a Moronic Incel”. However Raymond didn’t fully believe he was an “Incel”. To first define what an Incel is, an Incel can most simply be defined as someone (typically a man) with a deep hatred for society and the opposite sex because of their inability to “score”. These people typically believe they can’t “score” because they’re ugly and not because of the whole, you know, hating women thing. Often times these people aren't socially well-tuned and are failures in many other areas of life.

And upon thinking about what it means to be an Incel Raymond thought,

fortunately for me I DEFINITELY don’t have any feelings of hatred towards the opposite sex, I DEFINITELY don’t have any harsh feelings towards society, and I DEFINITELY have a great personality! I’m DEFINITELY not an Incel.

Raymond merely named his plan what he did because he felt like a “Moronic Incel” because of that embarrassing first day where he had a hard time speaking to his crush, but he knew FOR SURE that he was not an Incel.

Though the whole Incel thing did make him curious. In fact, he felt maybe if he read up on this Incel nonsense he could get more ideas for his plan. So he typed into google “How to Fix a Moronic Incel”.After some searching he found himself on an Incel forum that called itself “The Incel Haven”. It seemed to be a smaller offshoot of their main forum. Raymond scrolled down the page and saw threads with titles like,

“She is NOT your friend. She IS a Stacy. She WILL betray you for Chad.”,

“Normie cucks need to be blackpilled about how women have no respect for short men.”,

and “If you use Linux: IT’S OVER!”.

Raymond bursted out into laughter when he read that last thread title.

Raymond scrolled back up to the top of the page and noticed that at the top of the page there was a line of text that read,

“Make an account today. Together we can help each other out.”

How can a bunch of socially inept idiots help each other attract women? Could it be that since they’re Incels they know what not to do?

Either way Raymond felt it wouldn’t hurt to at least make an account on the site. In the account making process he gave his profile the name of “Dora_de_Destroya” and gave his profile the description of “Just a guy trying to cure that ‘tfw no gf’ feeling”.

At this point it was getting pretty late, so Raymond decided to be like a bear after a long season of hunting and go into hibernation.

He hopped onto his bed and dozed off.

***

Before long the next day came. And here Raymond was, walking towards his school’s cafeteria. As he made his way to the meetup location, he pointed his head down. While Raymond pointed his head down partially from the nervousness he felt, he also did it for another reason. Raymond was pointing his head down to avoid seeing any reflections of himself from nearby windows and metallic surfaces, and this was no uncommon practice for Raymond. In fact, Raymond had not gotten a good look at his face in about a year and a half. Because of this Raymond honestly only had a rough idea about what he looked liked, and he wanted it to stay this way. He avoided all reflections because he was terrified about whether or not he was ugly and without seeing his face he could just think to himself,

I’m sure I’m a really cute boy and I just don’t know it!

And Raymond especially didn’t want to lose this delusion and destroy his confidence on the day he thought he was going to woo over the illustrious Miss Interpretation. Though deep down Raymond knew he didn’t really believe he was cute. He just hoped it.

Raymond walked up to the glass doors of the cafeteria and stood beside them. He had come ten minutes early and wanted to wait for Miss Interpretation to walk into the Cafeteria so he could execute the first step of his plan.

Step 1: If You Greet a Woman at the Door, She’ll Open Her “Door” For You

This step was very simple. If he waited for her and greeted her at the door first, she would definitely see him as a very nice guy. Hell, he could even present her with the good news that his imaginary dog simply had the dog version of the flu and was now in good health. And so Raymond waited.

And waited.

And waited.

And waited for Miss Interpretation to come.

Next thing Raymond knew he had been waiting for 35 minutes, or 25 minutes past his requested meetup time.

Raymond began to panic.

What if she isn’t coming at all? Like, the project honestly doesn't need to be done with two people. Maybe she ditched me and went to her little appointment instead.

Raymond’s mind was starting to fall apart. He starting asking himself an onslaught of questions.

What if she doesn't have a special place in her heart for me in the slightest?

What if she isn't so sweet?

What if she isn't my friend?

Before long Raymond's mind was in shambles. But then, he came to an epiphany.

Wait, I know exactly what she’s doing right now. She’s “having a blast” with one of those lousy scum sucking moronic Chads. Those Incels were right. She really is nothing more than typical good for nothing stacy scum. Yea, I can picture what Chad is saying to her right now,

“Hey I got a little snack for you.

Get on your knees.

Open wide.

Here comes the airplane!”

And she’d respond, “Wait, that’s unlike any airplane I’ve ever seen. It’s so much bigger!”

In-between “portions” of her little “snack” Miss Interpretation would say, “Wow, *Heavy Breathing* Subway has really been killing it with their new double foot long sandwich.

Kya! *Heavy Breathing* I got mayonnaise stains all over my dress!”

And then Chad would say, “Don’t worry, I know a way to get it off.”

And then he would whistle and a hoard of rowdy Chads would come seemingly out of nowhere and squirt their “mayonnaise” all over her.

And the first Chad would say, “If your entire dress is the color of mayonnaise, then that means it no longer has a mayonnaise stain on it, right?”

And Miss Interpretation would say, “Yea, *Heavy Breathing* I have to thank you guys so much for *Heavy Breathing* covering me with your great personality.”

After Miss Interpretation and her hoard of Chads “had a blast”, one Chad would be left and say to her, “Hey, weren’t you supposed to meet with that partner of yours today?”

And Miss Interpretation would be like, “Fufufufu he’s nothing more than a lousy beta bux loser who doesn’t deserve my time. I’ll just use him to get a good score on the project while I use you to really score. LOL, right now I bet he’s standing outside of our school’s cafeteria thinking to himself,

“Raymond, why have you been waiting out here for so long?”

Chad had a confused look on his face, “Shouldn’t he be thinking ‘Why have I been waiting out here for so long?’”

“Raymond, are you okay?”

Raymond snapped out of his fantasies when he heard a familiar soft voice.

He soon heard the voice again, “Raymond, please respond!”

Raymond turned to his side and saw Miss Interpretation.

Raymond was dazed and said, “Um, when did you get here?”

“I’ve been waiting in the cafeteria for the past 40 minutes (5 minutes before Raymond got there). I actually saw you walk up to the doors about 35 minutes ago. I thought you didn’t come inside because you had something urgent to do, but after getting impatient I came out here and I see you just standing here, staring off into the distance. What exactly have you been doing all of this time?”

Raymond didn’t want to tell her that he had been standing outside just to greet her but ended up waiting outside for a long time because he didn’t think that she would make it into the cafeteria before he did. He needed to make up an excuse.

“Well ummm… you see, I just got done texting with my parents about whether or not my dog is dying.”

“You and your parents know whether or not your dog is dying. You said you were going to get the results for that earlier today.”

“You’re right. I know my dog isn’t dying. He’s dead. It’s traumatized me so much that It’s caused me to stare off into the distance and become retarded. And ummm… look at the time! It’s getting late! We better start our project soon!”

Raymond bolted into the cafeteria with Miss Interpretation soon following him.

Raymond felt like such an idiot. He was so determined to enact the first step of his plan that he didn’t consider the possibility that Miss Interpretation could have gotten into to the cafeteria before he did. And pointing his head down wasn’t a smart idea either, as that was to blame for him not seeing Miss Interpretation through the glass doors of the cafeteria. But Raymond hated to admit to himself that he had been a fool, so he argued with himself about whether or not he was an idiot.

Wait, I’m no idiot. I used the time waiting for her to good use. I used it to ponder about intelligent things like a bukkake of mayonnai-

And that’s when Raymond realized that he really was a manchild.