《Pink Mage》114, It's a lie there is no pie!
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After looting the bandit’s hideout there was some troubling news. Micky currently held an insignia in his fingers. It was honestly a blatantly stupid move, yet here it was, the proof in between his fingers.
Micky pondered his next actions as he followed along at the back of the pack. He was the trailing centurion this time. He didn’t have to wait long before he found the head of the pack though. This was because he was sitting there, in front of the baronet they were currently in, looking at the closed gates.
Micky looked at the signet that he had found, yup it was the same. Micky sighed at the stupidity and audacity of the baronet holding up more then 30,000 solders. There were three centurions in this group alone, who knew how many rankers mixed in. A literal army off to war with nations. Who did this dumbass think he was?
Micky walked up to the other centurion standing outside the gate, with bows drawn at him, standing outside of arrow range for obvious reasons. Micky had also chosen to wear full centurion gear as well since the outfit itself was a form of address. Nobody mistook a centurion for a common soldier.
Micky walked up to the other centurion and patted him on the shoulder. “What’s up? Why’d we stop?” Asked Micky.
The centurion in question spit on the ground. “This asshole won’t let us through. His little dung pile of nowhere is the only passible spot in the road. If we go around we will have to backtrack for days before we can even lose a week of travel time.” He replied.
Micky turned to him. “And why would we go around? Hey, mind if I come up there for a little chat?!” Micky yelled up to the noble.
“You’ll not be passing through our land until we receive our taxes, as is right and just! We are right our due and there is nothing you can do to stop us!” Said the oblivious noble. And he might have been rightish had Micky not had blatant proof in his hands.
“I see, so you’re stopping and army of the king in your lands from fulfilling it’s duty?” Micky nodded his head at the noble. “Siege ladders!” Micky called.
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“Wha, WHaT aRe YUo DoING!” The nobles voice broke in a terrified scream.
The other centurion leaned over to whisper into Micky’s ear. “Yes, what are you doing? That is a court mashable offense.”
“I’m just going to go have a long chat with this poor noble. So poor is he that he cannot have his broken gate fixed. Now if he were to misunderstand my request and attack any of the kings men, well, that would be just terrible!” Micky yelled, in a whisper, not subtly directed at the noble in question. The point was clear enough though, go ahead and attack the 30,000 soldiers surrounding you with your pittly 300 farmers. There were probably more soldiers here then peasants inside that small fort of his.
The siege ladders were placed on the walls without issue. Scratch that, there was an issue, because there were so many ladders that space on the wall itself was an issue. So some ladders had to double up on space. The soldiers had weapons drawn but were too afriad to attack. They knew that they wouldn’t be able to survive if they attacked first, and while the ladders were offensive, they weren’t technically an attack. At least if Micky’s lie was the blatant truth and the ‘gate was broken’.
Micky climbed up the ladder with an honor guard of Prin and several other group leaders and rankers under his command. However, he only took those that could take a hint from him on how things were going to go.
Micky had a bit of an awkward time getting off of the ladder itself as the ladder was a bit tall for these short walls. The ladders that the army kept as standard gear, for ‘situations’ that at the time nobody figured they would need for a friendly march through there own territory was not meant for a dinky little fort like this.
The noble started to go on a rant. “What are you doing! How dare you trespass on this haloed ground! I demand my rights as a sovereign founder of this land to...” Micky couldn’t be bothered to listen.
Micky pulled out the insignia with his clan crest on it. A common practice among the nobility for their particular brand on thieves in their territory. While not well known amongst the commoners, it was well known by Micky and his entourage by now.
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It didn’t take long for the noble to recognize the insignia and scream. “Where did you get that! How dare you attack my knights! I demand you give it back to me at once!” His face now purple from all the screaming.
“So you admit they were your knights?” Micky ask yelled.
At this point the noble spoke before his advisor could stop him from stepping into the trap. “Of course they were my knights! Only my knights could have that badge and you killed them! How dare you scum! I’ll have you hanged!”
“Well, it’s understandable then that I must confiscate your entire lands in the king’s name, since I was held up and attempted to be robbed by your knights in your territory. Your knights seemed to think it was their solemn duty to rob innocents and give to the filthy leeches of society.” Stated Micky.
Now the noble realized what was happening. And he realized how royaly screwed he was. His face now turning pale with sweat coming down his face, he knew that he could only listen to this man’s demands. “I… I don’t understand what your saying sir! Please, if there is anything I could do to change this misunderstanding I will. I, I don’t understand how this is possible.” He said.
Micky nodded his head and securely put the insignia back into his poach. “I thought so. Well I believe that this noble is generous and now that he knows we aren’t some common bandits will dign to allow us into his hold, free of charge. And since he is so becoming he will also resupply us, and any other of the kings army after us, free of charge.” Said Micky.
The noble held out his hand and asked meekly, “Now, if you would so kindly give back that insignia we can forget this whole endeaver and put it all behind us!”
Completely ignored the noble’s kind offer. Then Micky quietly walked up to the noble, wrapped his hands around the noble’s shoulders and started walking away. “Oh, and while we are at it there are several other new things, and agreements you’ll be needing to administer, since your hold is apparently to rife with bandits it’s is only just that we help you out as best we can!” Micky whispered as he walked.
Micky looked out from the top balcony of the baronet’s mansion. He was in the guest room, not because he couldn’t have had the baronet’s room, but because he seeded that to another centurion for favor. Said centurion walked up behind him and patted him on the back. He said “You sure you don’t want the head honcho’s room. I can still give it back you know.”
Micky replied “Nah, I’m good. Besides you really want that? I mean you must realise with that smell what he has been doing in there. You would need to demolish the entire mansion to get that smell out.”
“Ha! No, I’ve smelled worse. And besides, the room comes with it’s own bedwarmers. I can’t believe you are making the soldiers pay for it out there!” Said the centurion.
Micky replied “They are working class too. And besides the baronet is paying for it. The soldiers just have to subsidize things if they go a little too far. The baronet owes me quite a bit after I performed that impromptu audit. Now I have several things stashed away as ‘back taxs’ for what he owes.”
“You realize that is highly… dishonorable and should they find out what’s going on...” Replied the centurion as he chewed on the words.
“And who is going to tattle on me eh? Besides, the people in the know are the ones getting said back taxes. The baron’s happy, the count’s happy, even the king’s happy. I’m the only one that isn’t getting anything out of it. And if they find out, what are they going to do? Do you think the king is going to say, ‘Sorry, you’ve paid me too much, here is your money back’? Hay, and pie will rain from the sky across the land!” said Micky.
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