The Harold of justice prepared for his routine show. Of course, anybody that has done a rescue op knows that there is no such thing as routine, and the plan?! Forget the plan! The enemy is before us!

This of course means that the Harold of justice left his number 0, or is it number infinity?, sidekick to watch over his brother Timmy because “I can not allow another villain to take over my turf! My demon army (Of one) will obliterate this menace with the ultimate supre omega holy beam of death (Which isn’t a beam at all but a small, barely warm infernal fireball. It’s great on cold days because the clinging fire warms up your hands!).” As one Might expect today The Harold, Jarold, left the incompetence and even fledgling competence to man the perimeter with the guards.

When Jarold broke the news to, I want to say Jimmy?... maybe it was Sammy? Something with a my because parents are always so imaginative at the first bell of midnight in the morning after spending most of the day and night giving birth to a child or standing around waiting for it and then braking your hand because she wanted something to hold onto… Anyway, when he broke the news to Whatshisnamemmy he seemed so happy to watch over his younger brother and threatened The Harold to go to his father and complain. The Harold was of course, oh so tempted to take the offer. But The Harold was justice and couldn’t be mean to the moderately sized inept animal. It just wouldn’t be fair to tease it. So he placated it by asking if he wanted another villain to break into the epic battle of The Harold and bring harm to the Civis. This caused him to cave when he thought he was fending off another ‘villain’.

Of course the competent one of the duo was being left behind as well. While The Harold wanted to bring her along to show her what some actual heroing looked like she just wasn’t up to the level of [Skill] or her skill. She even had an impressive level of [Profficiency] to go with that skill. But The Harold wouldn’t power level her as her growth was moving at an exceptionally good pace. Actually, it was her partner that he was thinking of switching out. Of course the first time he tried Whashisnamemmy through a hissy fit and actually got his father involved. This caused The Harold to cave as it was causing Samantha too much problems.

No, the problem was that Whatshisnamemmy had made Samantha thank him for keeping her on the ‘A+ team’ as his sidekick. Jarold almost threw a fit and tossed Whatshisnamemmy out the window with his father. Then as he looked down on his pretious star child, she gave them the most beautiful smile she never gave him and… and… she thanked them! The Harold cried that day and got [Dead] drunk with his secratary. She seemed to enjoy the attention and company until Jarold retold the story and that he feared that his baby starling might be falling in love with the incompatant asshat. For some reason she also threw a drunk fit and called him ‘incompatent’, ‘blind’, ‘Pot meet kettle’, and a ‘Hypocritical fool that couldn’t see love if it stared him in the face!’ The Harold took her words to heart and decided to, begrudgingly, allow things to continue without his interference. But he swares if he makes her become his secretary he will toss him out the building!

But that was neither here nor there. Right now he loaded up and charged his 50 mana 500 round lightning spear with 50 additional ‘clips’ of spear handles should he need to recharge. It could launch a bolt of 50 mana charged lightning 100 paces zapping the first bady it sees. He had no less then 10 javelons filled with a 5000 mana fireball enchantment set to seek out heat sources and auto target and aim. He had an additional 100 ‘dwarven powder sticks’ in his spacial storage with the clip handles with his spear. These sticks were even more potent then the javalons… and then he had them enchanted to increase range and yield. And finally in case all of that was not enough he had an enchanted dagger that would form a friggen flaming sword that was both solid and could pass through objects and could change from one to another at will…. Oh yeah he also had a non lethal stick he called a baton that would apply a sleep spell if he beat the perp over the head with it. He may not actually need to beat the perp over the head with it, but he swares it works better that way!

Now that he was literally armed with enchantments to the teeth... his teeth had enchantments but that was mostly to keep his glorious smile even if he was eating steal, that was oddly specific, happened oddly often, and not the original intended purpose but he would take it!

The Harold of Justice walked past the picket line to the cheers of the crowds who likely paid to be here. This wasn’t a show, this was a real emergency… but it was a show. Luckily those who were actually involved and those that had arrived for reasons weren’t forced out or away. That would just be bad publicity!

The Harold nodded to the man cowering behind the door of his ‘home’. Except he normally wouldn’t have even glanced at the house. No he paid extra to be ‘part’ of the ‘event’. The Harold then nodded to the man hiding underneath the vegetable stand. Except he wasn’t really trying to hide, he was just trying not to show The Harold that he was peeking at him. And lastly there was the madam of the brothel and her gaurds. Only this one he knew. She was a young duchess and while she was trying to look coy and an uninterested but open woman, she was actually flushing at the cheeks and squeezing her legs to gether to ‘keep it in’. He had no doubts that should he enter that brothel he would be the one getting paid well. And to be honest he was sorely tempted. But the exceedingly painful pinch at his side from his secretary cum sidekick said that they didn’t get paid for that kind of publicity… The Harold almost cried at the lost opportunity. Oh well, maybe the secretary could schedule a ‘private’ consultation? Why did the pinching get worse! He hadn’t even brought it up yet!

The Harold sighed as he walked out of eyesight of his fans and into the perimeter of the real fight. The Harold would have been just as happy to assist the guards like in the old days but since he had become so popular it had become the other way around. Now he had to worry about all the little details, and if he failed, the lawsuits, and the guards were all the happier for it! They were more then happy to let him handle the inevitable fallout when something got wrecked and somebody, even the perp, got hurt in the process of making this ‘show’.

“Alright, you know the drill, same as usual.” Said The Harold.

“So basically negotiate them getting autographs if the surrender and call it a day?” Said his male sidekick slash publicist. The man had a point though. When the crooks asked for The Harold of Justice by name it was usually for autographs that they normally couldn’t afford because they were poor. The other option was that they wanted the publicity of facing the harold themselves. Basically either fans or haters. There was a third option…

“Oh my system, it’s The Harold! It’s the Harold of Justice guys! Can I get your autograph!” Said option one.

“Hahaha! This is going to be so awesome! I’m going to take down The Harold of justice and become a famous villain! I will get paid all sorts of things to make appearances and get all sorts of men!” Said the male option two.

“You can’t touch The Harold he’s mine!” said the nerd and that particular duo quickly turned into a nerd fight!

“Back up or they get it!” And there is option three. That would be the real villain there and the ‘mastermind’. “I said back up! I want the royal jewels and a dragon mount! Your going to deliver them to me outside and you’ll stay back or you’ll be rescuing them one piece at a time!” Said the true villain. The true villain also had three other cronies to back him up. Each of the villains had a civi kneeling in front of them.

“Oh it’s The Harold!” Said the man taken hostage by the true villain. The villain quickly put pressure on his neck. The man then said “If you could, uh save me that’d be nice. It’s such a pleasure to meet you in person I have all your scrolls!”

“Shut up, shut up! I’m trying to think.” Said the inept, obviously first time villain. He probably saw some illusion spell theater and thought he could do better.

The Harold just pointed his lightning spear at him and fired. In a flash of light the villain was launched three paces back and hit the wall. Then he fell over and passed out. The Harold then pointed his spear at the rest of the crew and asked “Anyone else want to make demands or do you want to give up now?”

The villain wannabes raised their hands but the two nerds ruined the moment with “Kept her untouched for you sir, because what kind of villain would I be if I tried to take the hostages forcefully? That’s just mean.” Said the ‘fan’, he was standing over the wife of the little family. “Can we get an utograph then? I want, *cough* I’d like your autograph, sir, please, maybe?” Said the ‘fan’.

“You can’t have his autograph, I’m getting his autograph and then we can put it up on our mantle. You always fold them or lose them when we get arrested by a hero!” Said the husband of the husband and husband duo. Calling the man a hater after asking for an autograph just seemed like hater mentality.

While the villains were settled and the heroes checked over the hostages the woman said with blushed cheeks “While I wouldn’t call myself ‘Untouched’ if you wanted to touch me I would be fine with that.”

The male hostage, probably the husband responded with “Martia how could you? I want to be ‘touched’ by justice too!”

The wife hissed “Shut up Nathan, You’re ruining my chances with The Harold!”

The husband returned “No you shut up, who says you aren’t ruining my chances?!”

The harold was quite glad when his secretary shuffled the hostages towards the guards and had them quickly taken away to be ‘checked for injuries’ and not to get them out of their hair.