Preparing for their last stand (to run away) Micky and crew watch as the swarm gets ever closer, not letting up on suppressive fire. Micky just said F it, and started casting [Mass Targeted Enrage] into the masses. He didn’t even bother with casting [Charm] at this point, just endlessly casting enrage and seeing what happened. As it turned out having your supposed allies step on your head as you charged pissed you off, who knew?

So what happened is the rapidly charging wave slowly petered out and turned into a massive ball of Kobold tearing themselves apart long before they reached Micky and crew. The wave had crashed, and now they were just an unruly [Mob].

The giant wave crashed leaving Micky’s crew stunned at its spectacular failure. It didn’t even get their feet wet! Of course, they never stopped firing. Even Micky scored DMG with a few [Stone Throw]ing (Not that he had the skill). This would be enough DMG to level him up, maybe almost to Fifteen! Even Squishy was rarin’ to go.

So the team charged as one (Uncoorordinated group) into the mob. They then choose a side, non. Though they did not attack indiscriminately. It might be a PUG but they weren’t so inept as to interrupt the spell that was saving their lives (I’m looking at you LovesTheGirls421! I don’t care if your some 133+ hackzor Pali, stop jenkinzing!). But so long as the party stayed as a coordinated group they were able to rip through the Kobolds slowly and methodically. Micky however stayed back without buffing, casting his spells randomly.

Luckily he didn’t need to worry about things too much. Once he cast the spell, the mob was pissed off at each other enough that they barely saw their impending doom. The kobolds further back had seen the mobs up front tear into each other and didn’t even bother with Micky [Enraged]ing them, they tore into each other themselves.

As the vast majority are being cleaned up, and Micky and crew are about to attack the mob in the settlement proper, there is yet another explosion of wood and kobold. Only this time there isn’t a wave of kobold so much as just them dying. From the kobold ashes arises a giant miniature kobold robot of the most advanced design. Which basically means a kobold on stilts with wooden arms that barely functioned.

The kobold swung his sword at the gathered adventurers and said “You have killed my family and now with my kobold battle armor I shall fight like a whomanz!” Of course the arm was unpowered, so the swing was like a whip as the two pieces of wood clacked. They were connected together by a wooden hinge that had about ninety degrees of motion. The kobold himself was holding onto the wooden arm that had a panted on hand with the sword stuck inside it. Every time the kobold would point or do anything with the sword the joint would clack with the wood hitting wood.

The Kobold was sitting in a wooden suit of armor kobeled together from the same stuff that the former settlement had been made of. And he stood on stilts that ended in panted carved feet. He was wearing a helmet with a human face painted onto it. With wooden pieces nailed with bronze nails onto it to make out the human parts. All in all, Micky was pretty sure that the wooden contraption reduced the [Kobold Mecha Pilot] effectiveness by quite a bit.

The Kobold charged and Micky smacked into his face. He lost his balance and almost toppled over. Then he glared at the adventurers and walked over on unsteady legs. Of course they weren’t going to let him just walk up to them though. But while they were firing at range, the kobold was too.

The other arm had a strange Dwarven Tubular contraption attached to its arm, and when the kobold flicked the arm towards their direction a boom was heard. Of course, they had all jumped out of the way long before the clack boom was heard, they could tell a ranged attack when they saw one.

The problem was actually reloading the strange contraption after it was fired, which for the kobold required a lot of juggling and dodging of the team as they charged back into melee range. But then the kobold would have all seven tubes reloaded and he was ready for them again.

The wooden armor itself was proving quite effective considering it was made from half rotten material. Micky and his endless team of well, four, moved with such amazing speed (After Micky put the buffs back on) that it almost seemed like there were multiple. There was even one time that the kobold flung his gun arm at Micky and he slowly fell backward while waving his arms. Then, as the gun hit the ground over his head and fired, Micky could swear he saw the bullets fly past as he waved his arms.

Eventually the armor could hold no more, and the kobold inside was knocked backward, never even getting the chance to use its sword, arm, thing. As the kobold fell it yelled out “You may have defeated my first form but I have another! And even if you defeat that I have an...”

Of course, it never got to finish that sentence (Or reveal its ultimate form) because the team would never be stupid enough to let it happen. This was why only stupid dungeons would ever allow its monsters and bosses to have multiple forms. Of course, this was a [Crawl] so it didn’t have a guiding hand at all anyway.

Attacking the fallen kobold with an alpha the team struck with everything it had. Blowing some of their cooldowns that they wouldn’t normally and maxing DMG at the expense of sustainability.

This just turned the kobold mini-boss into paste. But no kill like overkill, and double tap, and all that.

Finishing up the kobold the team inspected the loot. Sending in the two melee DPS to make sure there were no nasty surprises waiting inside. A good thing too, because they cleaned up the kobolds waiting inside that were preparing to run away with their hard earned loot.

Coming back after they finished cleaning up to loot the boss they found the sword and the dwarven tube. They also looted the bronze nails, as they were also valuable.

Prin finally said “Ah! I think that’s a gun!”

“A gun? You have to be kidding me! That’s practically a dwarven staple! I can’t believe we defeated a gun in battle. Guns are practically a dwarven trope, and they are well known for their impressive firing lines. It’s why a dwarf with a gun is called one shot wonder!” Said Htier.

She was elbowed by the other DPS “Only the males are called one shot wonder dipshit. Female dwarven shooters are called ‘everlasting’, and are known for their stamina after you get them going. They can always go off multiple times, unlike the guys.”

“Are you saying that’s a female gun then?” Said Htier.

Htier’s companion just shrugged “I don’t know dwarven culture, I’ve never even seen a dwarf in my life! I wouldn’t even be able to tell the girls from the guys if I met one!”

“They aren’t that bad, yes all dwarves have a bit of a bird's nest or at least some stubble, but the chicks are really chicks. Plus, unlike what people might tell you, dwarven women do shave, and regularly. In fact, dwarven women are some of the cleanest shaven women out there. They take extra effort into making sure to remove all unwanted hair. It’s actually why their females are known as such accomplished blacksmiths. Because they take extra special care into forging their shaving equipment.” Said Micky, to the surprise of everyone else. They all stared as the country bumpkin villager just gave them a knowledge dump.

“What?” Said Micky, as even Squishy stared at him in amazement and wonder. Although let’s be honest, Squishy stared at everything with childlike amazement and wonder, it was like her default stare, after a Pepperoni facsimile but that was recent.

The group grabbed their loot and headed into the kobold settlement. They prepared for anything since other monsters could show up at any time. Although most monsters in a crawl would only show up after a few hours after all the fighting was over with. Nobody wanted to get up in their neighbor's 'bidness', they were polite like that… and also didn’t want to get involved in their fight.

Inside the settlement they found all the nails they would ever need to construct floors and walls. Of course they wouldn’t be able to construct a roof but people never bothered with that anyway. They also found a ripped scroll and a gold ring that looks like a wedding band.

“That’s a lineage!” Said Gilda the ranged DPS. Micky and Prin just looked at her. “I may be the seventh daughter of a seventh daughter, but I still know what a lineage looks like. My parents let me copy all the techniques applicable to my class into my own lineage.”

Micky just shrugged and said “It looks old, I wonder if it has some ancient techniques that will be endlessly powerful! We could then create our own kingdom and rule a swath of land, taking on a harem each!”

The girls gave Micky an amused smirk. “I didn’t know you were like that Micky. Don’t worry you can join my harem, but only as my fifth or sixth husband, after I get a few wives as well.” said Prin. The rest of the girls just giggled.

“You laugh but with my ancient techniques I will rule over you all with an iron scepter!” Micky made a proclamation.

“Well they are ancient techniques alright. Look at this [Stone Gut] skill. Just eat random poisonous things until you get the skill? How silly, The [Bronze Gut] technique is so much more advanced than this. Just place some poisonous crap into water, and drink the water, rinse and repeat slowly increasing the poison. Not only do you get [Bronze Gut] if you survive, but you can also get [Poison Resistance]. Of course, you can also get [Bad In, Bad Out]. It’s a good technique I suppose, but so rude. Nobody wants to be around those people since they tend to just let out bad wind all day… and it’s also occasionally lethal or explosive.” Said Gilda.