《The Lightning Mage》58 | The Proposal, Part II
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Seven years ago...
Millie buried her face into her hands. Tears leaked from her fingers, splattering onto the wooden tabletop, soaking her trembling arms. She knew that there was no one around her, but she still tried her best to suppress her sobs.
Her seat wobbled. She lifted her head to glance at the unexpected newcomer. It was Raph, perched on the other end of the bench. His thick eyebrows were furrowed in chagrin as he held out a napkin.
Unable to speak, Millie nodded in appreciation as she took the napkin and blew her nose. The two of them sat, still and unmoving, for a while, until Raph decided to break the silence.
"Break is over. Class started, like, ten minutes ago, I think."
Millie nodded. She had heard the bell, but she had ignored it. After all, what was the point of going to classes anymore? She had worked so hard, only for her teacher to crush her dreams with just one sentence. Just thinking about it made her want to cry again.
"How do you know I'm here?" she croaked.
Raph leaned his back on the table and spread his arms out. "You mentioned before that you like this spot for the seclusion, so I figured you'd be here."
Millie's cheeks reddened. She had told every one of her friends about this secluded spot, but she had described it more as a place for secret make-out sessions. It seemed that Raph was the only one who saw beyond her fake portrayal. He had always been so attentive.
"You should go back to class first," she said. "I'll join later."
The dark-skinned boy shook his head. "I'm already late anyway. I'll stay with you till the next class."
Her heart fluttered. She had disappeared since the start of break, but none of her friends had checked up on her. Only Raph. And not only did he find her, but he also wanted to stay. The nerd, the future valedictorian, opted to skip class and stay with her.
She pulled on the wet napkin as she fidgeted in her seat. "I can't get into the fighter class," she whispered.
Her eyes were glued to the wooden table, but she could see—and feel—Raph's head jerk towards her. "What? Why?" he asked incredulously. "But you're- you're so good! And you've been working so hard!"
Millie gulped. "I can't... I can't enhance weapons..." Just muttering this sentence made her want to crawl up into a hole and disappear from this world.
"What do you mean? You're a powerful enhancer mage, aren't you? I've seen the way you pull things out of the air, it's insanely cool." Raph was so serious and genuine that it was hurting her heart even more.
"I don't pull things out of the air, I just take them from one location to another," she explained with a slight chuckle. "And that's conjuration, it's a different type of enhancer magic that's not needed for a fighter."
"So... you can't be a fighter with that magic?"
Millie answered by slumping onto the bench again, landing her head on her hands with a loud thud.
"I don't get it," Raph continued. "Why do you need to be able to enhance weapons anyway? You can always get someone else to enhance them for you. Aren't there some professional fighters who do that?"
"Ms. Jensen is not allowing it." Millie's voice was muffled in her arms. "I have to be able to enhance my weapon to get into a fighter class."
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"But you've been training so hard, we all see that, the teachers all see that. Are there... Are there no exceptions?"
"No." Millie could feel tears well up in her eyes, but she blinked them away. "Ms. Jensen said that, no matter how much I train, I can never be a fighter. If I want to be a quester, I can only be... a conjurer, at best."
An uncomfortable silence ensued.
Millie had expected this response. Nobody cared about conjurers. The only questers that mattered were fighters, healers, and elemental mages. Every other type of quester was miscellaneous. Especially conjurers.
"I still don't get it." Raph's hesitant voice broke the silence yet again. "What's wrong with being a conjurer?"
That was not a response she had expected. Millie lifted her head and frowned at Raph, who was frowning back. "Raph, conjurers are lame."
"Why would you think that? I think it's really cool and useful to be able to conjure up anything during a quest. Imagine being able to get antidotes, or bandages, or extra potions, whenever you needed. That's essential to any quest."
Millie burst into what felt like a half-laughter, half-sob. Raph had been a shoo-in for the healer class, and she fully understood the reason now. Not only was his vital magic powerful, but his mind was also already entrenched in a healer mindset; the things he had listed were all healer-based items. What a nerd.
"Am I wrong?" Raph asked, his face scrunched up into a small pout.
"You're right, but..." She sighed. "It's just been a dream of mine ever since I was a kid, you know? Ever since I found out about my affinity for physical objects, I'd been dreaming of becoming a fighter, leading a questing team, going on these cool, grand adventures. I don't know if I can do that as a conjurer..."
"You definitely can," Raph insisted. "Become a quester as a conjurer. I can join you as a healer, and we can form a team together if you want. "
Millie laughed again. A healer/conjurer pair was the strangest and most eclectic questing combination she had ever heard.
"I didn't know you wanted to be a quester," she said, raising her eyebrows. Raph might be a top pick for the healer class, but she had never heard Raph expressing interest in becoming a healer. A doctor, maybe, but not a healer.
"I mean, I do plan on studying medicine in college." Raph shrugged. "I'm sure questing teams are always scrambling for healers, so I can become a quester whenever I want, I think."
The sheer confidence in his statement made Millie giggle again. "Lucky," she teased. "I'll be counting on you to keep me alive, then."
"Of course," Raph said with a sheepish smile. He glanced towards the classrooms. "Anyway, you feeling better now? Shall we... head back to class?"
Millie's usual wide grin crept back to her face. Raph was so eager to go back to class. What a nerd. "We're gonna get detention for skipping class, aren't we?"
"Most probably... Mr. Jung is ruthless." Raph's face fell. "It'll be fine, at least we'll be together."
At least we'll be together. Millie's heart fluttered once more. Raph always had this ability to make her feel so... warm, on the inside.
Dabbing her eyes with the napkin one last time, she chirped, "Let's go."
♥✯♥✯♥
An hour ago...
Millie skipped towards the door as she hummed her favorite tunes. She only needed to knock once before a young Indian girl swung the door open.
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"Millie!" Divya greeted with a wide smile. "Guess my results for the Math test I was telling you about! Guess! Guess!"
"Hmm." Millie pretended to ruminate as she glided into the house. "Ninety-nine percent?"
"Even better than that! A hundred!"
The two hugged and bounced on the spot together.
"A perfect score!" Millie exclaimed. "Congrats, Divya, I knew you could do it."
Divya's beam was proud and excited. "Thank you!"
"Ah Millie, perfect timing!" Raph's mother called from the kitchen. "Tell Raph to come down, na? Dinner is ready. Oh, and I made biryani, do you want to join us, Millie?"
"Sure!"
Millie's heart soared as she sprinted up the stairs. She had not expected Raph to be back home so soon; Lyn must have ended the day early for everyone. Upon entering his room, she found the man leaning against the chair with his legs propped up on his desk, and reading a book. Of course he was reading after work; what a nerd.
His solemn and concentrated expression softened when he saw Millie. Closing his book and putting his feet down, he asked, "Oh, Millie. How is it? The proposal for Flora?"
"It was beautiful." Settling comfortably on Raph's armchair, Millie began her daily story dump. She described the full day of preparation, the elaborate decorations in the house, the giant not-quite-a-wedding-cake tiered cake her mother had prepared, the trouble they had to go through to keep Flora away from the house, and finally, the surprise her sister had gotten when she returned home to her now-fiance in one knee...
"...and he even did a little memory-image-pop-up thing that showed all of their favorite memories and dates. It was like one hour long, and it was so cute. She cried for hours after that."
"Wow." Raph blinked. "That is a lot of effort for a proposal. From everyone, too."
"Well, Rainer talked to Mom about his idea, and then Mom just took it to the next level. I have a feeling Flora's wedding will be a million times more elaborate than this."
Raph laughed. "That's a little frightening, but good for her."
Millie nodded as she let out a dreamy sigh. "I'm really happy for her, but... I'm also so jealous."
Her sister's ecstatic smile flashed across her mind again; her squeals, her tears of joy, her trembling embrace with Rainer, as she sobbed into his arms, as he drowned her head with kisses, as they whispered into each other's ears... The way they looked at each other also reminded Millie of Cydney and Lyn.
She knew it was childish and unrealistic, but she had always yearned for a love like this: a Prince Charming to swoop her away, a man to shower her with excessive gestures and fancy gifts, a Rainer to her Flora, a Lyn to her Cydney.
"I want what they have..." she muttered.
There was a short pause before Raph replied softly, "I want that for you too. You deserve it."
Her cheeks flushed. Before she could combust into flames, she quickly changed the subject. "What about you? How's your day?"
It was now Raph's turn to story dump, and he delved into yet another rant about Lyn. However, as his mouth moved, no words reached Millie's ears. Her mind drifted away, back to her sister and her fiance, back to Lyn and Cydney, back to the lingering question: why couldn't she have a relationship like this... with Raph?
The thought made her heart pound. After all, she had been hanging out with Raph almost every day and visiting him at his house so often that his family had accepted her as one of their own. Everybody always assumed that they were together. So why couldn't they? They had been best friends for years; he was the only person who knew exactly what she liked and disliked, the only person who could sense her mood even without her showing them, and the only person she was fully at ease with. Why couldn't they be more than friends?
"Millie?" Raph's concerned voice snapped Millie from her daze. "Are you okay? You look pale."
"Y- Yeah, I'm okay." Millie took a pillow from another chair and hugged it tightly. "By the way... Raph, would you ever do that for someone?" she blurted.
"Huh?"
"Would you... Would you do what Rainer did, go as far as he did, for... someone?"
"Oh." Raph shuffled his feet. "I- I don't know."
Millie's heart battered against her chest, but she kept her stare on the flustered man. No matter how reluctant Raph was in answering this question, she was going to push him. She was going to get him to finally admit his feelings, to finally do something about the two of them. "Hypothetically, if there's someone you'd want to propose to... Would you go this far? Like Rainer?"
Raph scratched his curly, brown hair. "Hypothetically?" His face was contorted with a wry smile. "Erm... I mean, maybe for... erm... Lauren?"
The world crashed down on Millie at that instant.
Lauren? Who the fuck was Lauren?
"Who's... Lauren...?"
"Remember her? I went out with her for like a month back in college. Short, blonde, always doing yoga? She really loved big parties. I figured she'd be someone who'd really appreciate something like that."
The pillow in Millie's hands started to tear under her grasp as she seethed in anger. "I didn't know you still liked her," she hissed.
Fear washed over Raph. "Oh- Oh, I don't- I don't mean I actually want to propose to her or anything, I mean, we broke up a long time ago. I- I just thought... You- You said hypothetically, right? It was a hypothetical question, right? And so I just randomly picked..."
Millie slammed the poor pillow on the floor. "I wanted you to choose me!"
Raph stared at Millie, mouth agape and flabbergasted. By the time he found his voice, Millie had bolted out of his room and out of the house. Ignoring Raph's sister and mother, she ran out into the streets with tears blinding her eyes.
Stupid Raph. Stupid, dumb Raph. Stupid, stupid, stupid.
"Millie!" Raph caught up to her and pulled on her arm. "Millie, I'm really sorry, I didn't mean- I didn't know—"
Millie yanked her hand away. "Leave me alone, Raphael."
"Millie, please," Raph begged. "I- I didn't know you liked me. You told me you just saw me as a friend, so I..."
Guilt and anger simultaneously pierced her heart. Millie didn't need to be brought back to the annoying drama of high school senior year, with all the deluge of promposals, and the unnecessary tension between friends and crushes. Turning Raph down for prom had been the worst decision of her high school life, and had eaten away at her mind for a long time, but it had been so long ago. So damn long ago. A tear streamed down her cheek.
"It's been five years, Raph," she snapped, clenching her fists. "Do you know how long that is? Have you ever thought about the fact that we became closer in the past five years? Have you ever thought about trying to ask me out again?"
Raph looked as though a bucket of ice water had splashed onto him. "I'm sorry..." he whispered. "I- I really didn't know..."
"Then you're an idiot!" Millie bellowed.
As more tears rained down her face, she ran off again.
Stupid, stupid, stupid.
Everything on that stupid mind of Raph was his exes. His stupid exes in college that she had hated; the stupid girls that had taken him away for hours, forced him to cancel their dinners, made her cry into her pillow at night.
Why couldn't he see that she had never dated in college because she was waiting on him? Why couldn't he see how much she regretted friendzoning him? Why did he have to go and date other people, when she was right there? Right in front of him? Why was he so... stupid?
The sobs intensified until she had to pause and breathe. When she looked up, she realized she was standing right in front of Lyn's apartment complex.
Wiping her tears away, she trudged towards the familiar apartment and pressed the doorbell.
Cydney's flushed face appeared.
"Hey, Cyd. Do you have a second? Can we talk? Or maybe go out for a walk or something?"
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