《The Guide》Chapter 11: Bets, Adventures, and Vermin.
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Stupid cold, stupid snow, stupid fucking ice age! Why couldn’t the glaciers retract sooner!?
You might think that it’s all well and good, since we managed to migrate the Tagan to different fertile regions with a spring like temperament, but trust me, the ice age isn’t over. Not by a long shot.
You remember the continent the Tagan originated from? It became a hot spot. A literal hot spot. It seems that the center of that continent was one of the few places that didn’t become a block of ice, with only its edges getting affected by the snow. And it seems that the first group of Tagan that I met were one of the few at the time, who were searching for new lands and decided to stay in a cave to avoid winter’s icy grip.
So now, after a mere 45 years from the last reincarnation, I’m freezing my ass off, since 20 years ago, I’ve been forced to reincarnate again. And due to my shitty luck, I’ve got last place in a game of rock, paper, scissors to those two. Yeah, Last place! Not only did I lose to a primitive who doesn’t even know what papers and scissors are, I also lost to a worm! Heck, even Awe lost to the worm. How did we lose in a game that requires hands to a winged worm!? I call hax!!!
…
Sigh… Complaining won’t change anything, right? Even though I have every right to complain, since I’m the one who’s guiding a small group consisting of 22 individuals to the north, to avoid what I believe would be in the future a big fat desert. I’m pretty sure Awe is having the time of her life, migrating to the new continent by sea, with the help of Kagaras, who I bet is comfy watching us from above. He better be watching us, or powerful monstrosity or not, I’m going to rip him a new one. Not only did he blackmail me for his position, he also had to be a worm monster! Do you even know how hard it is to make people accept a thing that though looks terrifying as a giant, but when in the form of a tiny idol, looks like fish bait with bat wings? We tried convincing him to take a more human like form, but believe me, he looks creepier as a humanoid. Imagine an ebony tailed humanoid body, long spindly clawed arms and legs, sporting giant bat wings, glowing spots running from the tip of its tail to the back of its head decorated by white spikes on their sides, with a worm like head with a tentacle beard covering a large maw full of sharp pearly white teeth. Yeah… creepy as hell… Thankfully, despite all his creepiness, he turned out to be a hard worker, and he gets along with Awe. Which was what we needed. An extra hand, instead of a liability. Though that doesn’t change the fact that at the first moment that he screws up, I’ll make him taste hell. Like I told Awe, hard working or not, nobody screws over Leon Octavian Sirus! If the perfect opportunity presents itself and he slips up, I’ll make him writhe in pain, pleading for mercy, while covered in his ow blood, tears and urine. Wishing for the sweet embrace of death as I slowly break him, till he’s an empty shell of the man who he once was! Or, I’ll just make him take the shitty jobs, since that’s more my style. I’m not a fan of cheesy melodramatic plots and I believe I said it before, I hate xianxia. Leave that stuff for the diehard vigilantes and deranged activists.
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Anyways, in the meantime, “Ja, Owa joh! (Hey, come here)”, I tell the rest of my lazy companions, who can’t even walk a few steps without looking like bumbling oafs, which in all honesty, they currently are. If I have to be even more honest, they’re not prepared for this journey at all, which is one of the reasons I introduced clothing early. Yeah, that’s right, clothing! Our hairy comrades are now sporting the latest fashion trend, made of the finest materials known to man-er Tagan! Well, to them at least, which means untreated animal skin. Yeah… They weren’t keen on trying to make leather, but what do you expect, they’re bulkier, hairier, and more muscular than humans, which means that their bodies are more resistant to the cold, which I found out is actually a detriment. Yes, they’re stronger and more durable than humans, but that lead to them to having more of a preference to close combat, since it isn’t risky enough for them to find an alternative better than merely throwing spears by hand. Would it kill them to make a spear-thrower!? Where’s the progress? where’s the innovation!? Hafting should’ve opened a door for a new industry! Not just wedging a stone into a piece of wood, tying it and calling that an axe! Though, it’s not exactly called an axe, it’s called a ‘oojo’, ‘wooj’, or just ‘joo’ depending on where you are… Meh, let’s just forget about it and focus on keeping these disappointing numbskulls safe.
Greeeeeeee!
Oh come on! Another one!? How many of these Grey furred monstrosities are there!? This is the third one this morning!
Hmm? You don’t know what I’m talking about? I’m talking about how we keep getting attacked by giant horned carnivorous quadrupedal balls of fur with really long snouts filled with sharp teeth, that's what I'm talking about!
After announcing its presence with it’s stupid failure of a growl. It charges straight at me, only to miss and get an axe to the face and die a pathetic death.
Yeah, it took only one hit to kill this thing, and do you know why? Magic, that’s why.
It seems that this vessel is built solely for internal use of the energy, which means though I have perfect control when strengthening my body, I can’t cast squat.
Sigh… Never once had I thought that I’d end up in the muscle heads club…
Anyways, I have a job to do, and a people to lead through an unforgiving land of ice and snow… I hate the snow…
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I hate the sea…
Why do I always get the really crappy jobs?
Leon keeps complaining how hard his life is, and how it’s the worst, but he always gets the fun jobs.
Exploring a winter wonderland, seeing new things and getting surrounded by muscular studs? He won’t like that, but I would! Beats getting stung by insects and sleeping under the hot sun, while trying to avoid becoming fish food.
“Ogowa! (Land)”, oh? It seems we’ve arrived!
---
Thunk.
After an hour or two, our rafts finally reached the beach, and the disembarked Tagan began moving them away from the water, so that they won’t we be swept by the tide.
Since it’ll be evening soon, we’ll camp here for the night.
“Gag! Owa joh! (Gag! Come here)”, I order my second in command, and he doesn’t waste a moment to get here.
“Gag joh, Aga Awe! (Gag here, great Awe)”.
Unlike Awa, I don’t hide my identity much. I know that that it would be better if they think for themselves and not rely on us too much, but if we left them to their own devices, it’ll take thousands of years. Besides, I don’t mind the attention and the looks of reverence.
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“Wogo goga. (Make Camp) Awo Wog. (Get Wog)”.
“Wago? (Why)”.
“Ajo Jama goga. (Go hunt together)”.
After I tell him that, I go to my raft and prepare myself. I wear a necklace I made using a vine and a few feathers and shells I gathered along the way. Then I grab my stone axe and wooden club, which were made from the branches of a large grey tree that I found 2 years ago in one of the mana rich forests that used to be sites for chaos energy. Though I’m not a fan of magic, I gotta say that it makes fine materials. Imagine that even though they’ve been under constant use for 2 years, they still haven’t worn out till now. I still use them for all of my hunts, and I only need to replace the axe head whenever it chips and the situation allows it. Finally, I wrap a rope made of vines from the raft around my waist and wear it as a belt, you never know when you need a good rope. Looks like I’m ready.
I met with Wog, who’s one of our best hunters and it seems he brought with him, Jom and Gom, who can be considered our best trackers. After making sure that everyone is prepared, we charged into the nearby woods in search of prey.
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Silence and patience. Those are the most important aspects when stalking prey. When we charged ahead, we spent an hour searching for fresh tracks, and in the end we found the footprints of what looks like rodites, but smaller. We carefully followed them without making too much noise to not alert our prey, until we found our quarry.
And guess what? They are rodites, small grey furred rodites with no stripes. Compared to the ones I’ve seen, they’re really small, with the largest one reaching my waist. On the other hand, they make up for their size with their numbers. From the looks of it, there’re about 30 of them, which is quite a lot considering that regular rodites usually gather in small herds, mostly consisting of 8 to 12 rodites, and due to their size, they rarely, if ever, live in densely wooded areas. They mostly prefer plains. And grass… This is the first time I see rodites gnawing on bones. What sharp teeth they have, must be to get the marrow out of the bones.
These are clearly different from the norm, and I’m pretty sure that if they’re not cowardly, we can’t take them all on with just the 4 of us, so we better back off and find something else to eat. I motion to the others to slowly back off, and I start doing the same.
Ok… slowly... better not make any soun-
Crack!
Shit… who stepped on a branch… I see you Gom…
Skreee!
And here they come!
“Gawo! (Run)”, I scream and sprint as fast as I can.
“Gowo! (Help)”, is that Gom!? Shit!
I gather magical energy in my right arm, and throw my axe with all my strength, cleaving one of the three rodites that were pinning Gom.
Jom thrust his spear at one of the remaining 2, but he failed to deal a killing blow, only grazing its face in the process, but that still managed to make them back off enough for Gom to get up.
Looks like there’s no choice but to fight. More than 30 rodents versus the four… of us… and I can’t find Wog… Shit... The coward left us behind, my hero…
Sigh… Change of plans.
“Go, Gogo! (Go, Scatter)”, I yell, before I retrieve my axe, only to throw it at the rodites swarm, gaining their attention, before running to the left.
Hopefully, that’ll attract most of them, giving those two a chance to escape. But it’s not like I’m sacrificing myself yet!
I reinforce my legs with energy, doubling my speed. I impressively maneuver through the trees, but I can still hear them after me, but it looks like that they can’t keep up. Losers.
Skreeeeeeeee!
Why did they- Oh shit! There’re more!?
“Gah!”, I scream as suddenly one of them lunges at me from a nearby bush, I tried to dodge to the left, but it was so close, that it latched on to my arm.
Shit! Let go!
Crunch!
Skreeeee!!!
I smash my club into its spine, producing a sickening crunch, followed by a miserable screech from the damn thing! The moment it let go of my arm, I turned its head into mush, then tried to resume my escape.
Thanks to that fucking rodent, I won’t be able to outrun them. Looks like I have no choice, but to eject, but they can bet their grey furry asses that I won’t leave without a fight!
Since I’m going to fight, I ran into a clearing to avoid getting ambushed again. And after reaching it, I prepared my stance, tightly gripped my club, and charged my body with as much energy as possible without permanently damaging it, but that didn’t change the fact that my veins feel like they’re on fire.
Come and get me, you filthy vermin!
Skreee!
And wave one came with a nasty screech.
It consists of five of the grey bastards. Two charging straight at me, while three trying to circle around to flank me.
Heh... you wanted a fight? I’ll give you a fucking fight!
I raise my club, then charge forward, smashing the head of the confused rodites in front of me, into the ground.
The others were shocked, not expecting their prey to charge straight at them, then kill one of them in a single shot.
I use that moment to swing my club at the second one, hoping to take down another one, before they recover from the shock, only for it to dodge my attack by jumping to the right. They’re smart enough to group into packs and hunt in formations, so of course, it won’t stand still when attacked. Intelligence aside, its instincts wouldn’t allow it.
As I try to recover my stance, a rodite tackles me, but I hold my ground, grab its tail, then swing it at the one that dodged earlier, slamming the two of them together. And before they recover, I leap at them, club held high, only to be brought down upon them, bringing destruction on its targets, even the ground was not spared, as the nearby vicinity was filled with blood, brains, fecal matter, and cracks resembling a spider’s web.
I glare at remaining two, and see the fear in their eyes as they try to back away. Knowing that they alone aren’t my match.
Skreee!
Shit… More of them…
And it looks like those two rodites found their confidence again. Great, just great.
They charge straight at me and then pounce.
I swing my club horizontally, managing to slam one of them away, missing the other one.
The latter dug its claws into my body and tried to bite my neck, which I managed to prevent by punching it in the head, only to feel searing pain as it bit into my left shoulder.
Before it could do further damage, I grab its head and snap its neck, killing it instantly.
"Gaaah!", and the second bastard bit me! It bit my left ankle!
I instantly lift my right foot and bring it down on the vile vermin, making it screech in agony, as I kept stomping on its head, till its skull cracked like a watermelon.
Skreeeeee!
The newcomers screeched and growled as they had me surrounded. This REALLY isn't my lucky day, isn't it?
Hehe, looks like I have to abandon everything, 20 years with this girl for nothing...
Dammit! Why me!? Why couldn’t it be someone else!? Oh, that’s right! It’s because I’m the idiot who decided that it’s a great idea to hunt at this hour!
...
And it looks like even divine idiots like me have to pay the toll... Sorry girl... You could've had a much simpler and possibly better life without me.
‘It's okay...’
Goodby-Huh!?
Swoop!
Skreeeee!
Water spears!? Blood spikes!? Why am I glowing!? What am I seeing!?
One moment, I was gonna leave and the girl would’ve been killed by the rodites, and the next, Spears made from water slammed into them, and once they did, the rodites exploded with their blood hardening in the form of spikes and piercing anything in their path, except me. And now, my legs gave up, and my bum hit the ground. At least I didn't wet myself.
What happened...?
I turn around to see what did this, and I find a slightly old woman holding a shaft walking towards me. She was a short Tagan with dark blue skin, greying black hair and hazel eyes, her face was beautiful, but expressionless. I'm supposed to be the embodiment of beauty and fertility, but even I have to say, despite her age, she carries herself in grace, and the only flaw that I find in her is that the tip of her left horn is broken.
I tried to ask her how did she do this, but it looks like she read my mind, as before I say anything, she says only one word.
"Maja(Magic)".
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