Matt snorted awake and glanced around to ensure no one else saw him nod off during orientation. The chairs beside him were empty and the speaker had abandoned the room as well.

“Great,” Matt muttered to himself. “Not only did I fall asleep in orientation, but everyone saw me and decided to ditch me in the room. Fantastic. Really, really well done.” He rose from his chair and moved toward the door, all the while trying to plan what he’d say to get out of this mess.

It had taken him eleven months to find a job after graduation, and getting fired his very first day didn’t rank high on his to-do list.

He reached for the knob and yanked the door open. He stepped through to find a tall man with a well-trimmed beard sitting behind a large black desk. Matt glanced around the lobby and, seeing no one else around, walked to the man behind the desk.

“Finally awake eh?” the man asked with a chuckle, pushing his silver rimmed glasses farther up the bridge of his nose while looking down at a slate colored data pad.

“I... uh...” Matt couldn’t think of the words to say. He had never been great with improvisation. “I was up late last night...”

The bearded man arched a brow and looked up from the data pad as if wanting more from Matt.

“Helping my mum, I mean. She’s older you see and... um...”

The bearded man held up a hand and shook his head. “I’m bored already,” he said.

Matt bristled. “Excuse me?”

“You’re excused, now listen up kid.”

Kid? Matt folded his arms and stared down at the man. “I’m twenty-three,” he countered.

The bearded man smiled and shrugged. “I don’t care. Listen, they don’t pay me to treat you nicely, I just need your name, your class, and so forth, then I send you through that door and on your way to your new job.”

Matt frowned and looked to his right where a beige door stood closed with a sign above it reading ‘Employees only’ in big red letters. “So, I’m not in trouble for falling asleep?”

The bearded man grinned and shook his head, tapping the data pad with his right index finger. “No, it happens more often than you might think. Now then, name please?”

“Matt, Matt DuBois,” he answered, suddenly feeling a rush of enthusiasm at learning his career wasn’t over before it had even begun.

“Fantastic,” the bearded man said. “And class?”

Matt frowned. Did the man want his graduating class? “Just graduated,” he answered. “Class of thirty-seven.”

The man shook his head. “No, no, not your college class. I mean your class here at E.M. What class are you?”

“Oh, um, PR department,” Matt said.

The man sat back and sighed, staring up at Matt with his dark chocolate eyes. “A bit on the thick side aren’t you?”

Matt reached for his pocket to grab his phone, but jumped back in shock as his fingers touched his bare thigh. He looked down to see that he was now wearing nothing at all. “Is this some kind of joke?!” Matt shouted.

The bearded man folded his arms. “No, this is your job.”

“Look, I know I fell asleep during orientation, but you can’t steal a man’s clothes!”

“Ah, so you’re male then?” the bearded man asked.

“What?!” Matt stared at the man with his mouth hanging open. After all, he was standing there in nothing more than his momma had graced him with upon his birth. He pointed down and made an exaggerated expression with his face as though everything should be obvious.

The bearded man looked down, shrugged again, then locked eyes with Matt squarely and said, “Nothing there, my friend.”

“Oh, ha-ha, very funny. I can take a joke as well as the next guy but come on!” Matt looked down and realized that the bearded man was correct. There was nothing there. More than that, Matt’s whole body was wrong. Completely smooth skin, no hair anywhere to be found, no freckles, no scars, and no real complexion. He was a weird gray color. “What the bloody--”

“No need for language, it’s all part of the standard contract,” the bearded man said.

“Contract? What are you talking about?”

The bearded man pointed back to his data pad. “Sure you want to go with the name Matt DuBois?”

“Seriously, that’s what you want to ask me about? You aren’t shocked that I am naked, or that I seem to be a weird mannequin instead of my normal self? My name is what’s bothering you right now?”

The bearded man nodded. “It’s a little... basic. Also, I really do need your class, otherwise I can’t give you your starting uniform.”

“My class?!” Matt threw his hands up in the air and turned around to storm back into the orientation room. Surely they must have stashed his clothes in there. He stopped when he realized that only a blank wall stood before him. The doorway he had used was gone.

“That’s a one-way door,” the bearded man said. “Can’t go back the way you entered.”

Matt clenched his fists, then started to laugh. “I get it,” he said. “I’m still asleep.”

“No, that’s not it,” the bearded man replied.

Matt held up his left hand and shook his head. “Of course it is. I’m still asleep. I’m in the orientation room, and I’m having a nightmare about the most embarrassing thing that could happen to me.”

“No, mate, that’s not what’s happening here.”

Matt turned around and flared his arms out to the sides. “Of course it is. All I need to do is wake myself up.” He balled his right hand into a fist and punched himself in the cheek as hard as he could. He dropped straight to the floor, smacked his head on the hard tile, and the lights went out.

When Matt next opened his eyes he could hear people talking.

“Name?”

“Bethilda Hornswaggle,” a female said.

Matt blinked against the painful light and sat up, resting his back against the cold wall.

“Class?”

Matt could see someone else standing in front of the bearded man’s desk.

“I want to be a female gnome rogue, but with a dual class as an alchemist.”

Clothes instantly materialized on the form and she shrank down to a height of about three feet tall.

Matt stared, mouth agape, and watched as the person thanked the bearded man then rushed through the door marked for employees.

“What in the world did I just see?”

“Ah, you’re awake,” the bearded man said. He turned to regard Matt with a smile and brought his glasses down to polish the lenses. “Feel better after the self-induced nap?”

“What? No!” Matt jumped up and pointed to the doorway. “Who was that? What just happened?”

“Let me try and make this clear and concise,” the bearded man said.

“Yes, please do!” Matt shouted.

“You were hired to work for E.M.”

“Yeah, in your PR department!”

The bearded man cleared his throat and put his glasses back on. “Right, and what product were you hired for, specifically?”

“Your new large scale online VR MMO,” Matt answered.

“And, did you bother reading the fine print at the bottom of the contract?”

Matt knitted his brow and folded his arms across his bare chest. “Sure, the stuff about direct deposit and life insurance beneficiaries?”

“No, the smaller fine print below that,” the bearded man said. “Who was your recruiter?”

“Carie Denison.”

The man nodded. “So, here’s the long and short of it. Your PR position is to play as an NPC within the new game.”

Matt glanced to the door. Things started clicking for him. Flashes of memories came back to him from orientation. He glanced down to his hands again and nodded. “Okay, so I’m in the game?”

“Almost,” the man replied. “You’re basically in the waiting lobby where we sort out your NPC’s final details before you begin. Once you give me your class, I can set up your initial equipment and place you in an appropriate town to begin your shift.”

“How much did I sleep through in orientation?” Matt asked himself.

“Apparently all of it,” the bearded man quipped. “But, good news, the contract was already signed, so I can’t fire you for being dumb as a post or for knocking yourself out in my lobby.”

Matt turned back to the man and was about to say something but the bearded man kept right on talking.

“You know, in the time you were unconscious I was able to process four new employees. Horribly embarrassing, trying to explain why a new employee was laid out cold on my lobby floor. But, more good news, you don’t have a face yet so no one will recognize you after you leave here. So, other than keeping yourself awake at night when you lie in bed thinking about all the dumb things you’ve done in your life, you won’t really have to relive this moment in time.” The bearded man smiled and pointed at the data pad impatiently. “Class... please.”

A hundred thoughts ran through his mind. He vaguely remembered signing a contract before starting orientation, and he at least knew he was going to be working on the game, but he didn’t remember anything about going into the game world itself.

“So...” Matt began, “I’m hired to do PR work, and I accomplish that in game?”

The man nodded slowly. “Yes. Basically, although we have some advanced AI to run NPCs and important quest givers, E.M. executives thought it best to hire actual people to play some of the more mundane townsfolk. They wanted to introduce a bit of chaos and try to simulate real life intelligence a bit more... although in your case I am not sure that’s a net positive.”

Matt let the insult slide off and approached the desk. At least now he knew what he was supposed to be doing. “All right, then I want to be a wizard.”

The bearded man scrunched his brow. “That isn’t available to you.”

“Oh, um... then a rogue, like the other employee that just came through here.”

The man shook his head. “No, that’s not open either.”

“What, did all the good classes get filled up?” Matt asked with a laugh. “All right, well, how about a fighter?”

“No.”

Matt huffed. “Fine, well, maybe it would speed this up if you tell me what is available.”

The man shrugged and leaned forward, lifting his glasses slightly and staring at the data pad. “You can choose between bard, librarian, scholar, priest, inn keeper, blacksmith, executioner, and farmer.”

Matt frowned. “Is that it?”

The man nodded. “That’s all it shows on the data pad as being open to you.” The bearded man turned the screen around to show Matt the open options.

“Well... that’s just... lame!” Matt sighed and then shrugged it off. He could probably change his character later. Better to just pick something and get out of the lobby before his shift ended and he really embarrassed himself before he could even start the game. “Executioner,” he said, picking what seemed to be the most exciting class left open.

“Very well, and male, yes?”

Matt gave a nod. “Yes,” he replied flatly. Black trousers appeared over his legs and waist, followed by a pair of leather boots, a black shirt, and a pair of thin leather gloves. “At least I finally have clothes,” he said.

The bearded man tapped a few things on the screen. “Did you want to change your name?”

“Definitely,” Matt said. Now that he understood he was building a character, he felt much more comfortable. “Let’s go with Bladegnasher!”

The bearded man looked up and cocked his head to the side. “That name doesn’t make much sense.”

“Skullcrusher?” Matt asked.

“I need a character name that will fit into the world.”

Matt sighed and shrugged. “Well... let’s see.” He thought of what race would be fun to play, which would then help him formulate a name. “Oh, I know. Let’s go with Eldris Highstar, and I want to be an elf.”

The man chuckled and shook his head. “You are restricted to a human character.”

“What? Why? Is it because I chose an executioner? I can change that. I want to be an elf, so which class will let me play an elf?”

“That isn’t how this works. Nothing but human is open to you no matter what class you pick.”

Matt frowned. This must be like hazing the new guy. Or maybe it’s to punish me for falling asleep... or for making a fool of myself and eating my own knuckle sandwich. “You’re joking, right?”

The bearded man shook his head. “Look, son, when you took your pre-screening test, it determined what options would be available to you.”

“Wait... what pre-screening test? I didn’t take a test during orientation.”

“No,” the bearded man sighed. “Before that, when you completed the original questionnaire prior to scheduling your first interview.”

“Oh that?” Matt scratched his head. “I was told not to worry about it and I was in a rush so I just picked a few answers and submitted them. My recruiter said I could always update it later.”

The bearded man laughed and gave a nod. “I suppose that’s true. When your shift is over you can update it.”

Matt nodded, satisfied that he’d be able to change things up next shift. “All right, fine. Just pick a name for me then so I can get moving.”

The bearded man nodded. “Very well. Luther Orsbin is the first name that populated on the random name generator. You good with that?”

Matt shrugged. “Sure.”

“All right, Luther Orsbin, executioner of Falchor, you are set and ready.”

Matt walked toward the door, his shoulders slumped. “When does my shift end?” he asked.

“What?” the bearded man responded.

“When does my shift end?” Matt turned around.

The bearded man laughed and shook his head. “Oh man, Carie did a number on you, didn’t she?”

Matt narrowed his eyes. “What do you mean?”

“Your shift doesn’t end until your contract is up.”

“What do you mean my shift doesn’t end until my contract is up?”

“It’s all in the fine print, son. You signed on for a certain number of years, and you will be playing this game continuously until your time is completed.”

“WHAT?!”

The bearded man put his hands up in the air. “Look, kid, I can see that Carie might have pulled the wool over your eyes a bit. How about I send you in to HR to sort it out. Clearly you are not aware of what you’re doing.” The man thumbed to a door behind him with a sign marked ‘HR’ in big black letters.

“Yeah, I’ve had enough of this.” Matt stormed around the back of the desk.

“Here. You’ll need this,” the bearded man said as he reached into a lower drawer to his right and pulled out a slip of paper. The man scribbled something on it, folded it, and then held it up. “This will help them sort you out.”

Matt took the paper and then rushed through the door. “Yeah, I’ll sort them out!” he muttered. This was complete and utter bullcrap!

The sun hit his face and the smell of smoke and dirt filled his nostrils. He stopped dead in his tracks and took note of his surroundings. There was no corporate office in front of him, just a wide street with large stone and plaster buildings lining it. He wheeled around to find a set of large wooden gates set into a stone wall that stood easily thirty feet in the air.

A man dressed in a yellow uniform covering most of his armor walked toward Matt.

“Can I see your papers, sir?” he said.

“I’m...” Matt stopped mid-sentence and made for the gates. No. He wasn’t getting played like that. He was gonna give that bearded man a piece of his mind. He pushed the gate open and slipped through the opening to find that the lobby was gone. In its place was a large clearing marred with a wide dirt road that led down a gentle slope and off toward a nearby forest to his right. Far to his left he noticed a sea.

The guard followed him out and cleared his throat, this time resting his hand on the hilt of a sword. “Your papers, sir.”

Matt looked down at the folded parchment and frowned. “I was supposed to give this to HR.”

The guard snatched the paper from his hand and opened it. “I don’t know who HR is, but it says here that you’re the new executioner. Come, I’ll lead you to your quarters. The queen has assigned you to a nice stone house near the palace in the upper quarter. It’s far enough away from the port to avoid the low tide smell, but close enough to the fish market that you can easily peruse the day’s catch without walking too far.”

Matt frowned and watched the town guard start off back toward the gate. “No. I’m... I need to...”

“Come along, Sir Orbis. We need to get you settled quickly. There is a hanging tomorrow, and I know the queen will want you to meet with the high inquisitor immediately.”

“Wonderful,” Matt said. “I really need to find a way out of here,” he said.

“A way out?” the guard asked. “But you’ve only just arrived. Come, I’ll show you to your quarters.”

“And next time, I really, really need to read the fine print!”