《I Totally Don't Have Anger Problems!》5 – A Closer Look
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Prince Corinn turned to look at me again. The blood from my latest fight was now mingled with the blood from killing Saul and getting hammered with projectiles as I retreated afterward, the blood from the bipedal scythe-monster fight: theirs and mine, and even a good deal of blood from that spiked lizard creature earlier. At this point, I wasn’t sure whether I had more encrusted blood than exposed skin. I really needed another bath.
He paused for a moment, considering his words. “I… am grateful for your assistance. It seems I underestimated you.”
Yes! Finally, that prince learns the proper respect! Soon, I will have him sitting beside me, patiently waiting as I study those deep green eyes, and those intriguingly soft lips, to learn… what was it I’ve always been wanting to learn about those anyway? I know they’re really interesting, so it must be something really important…
“Alas, despite everything, Trevor didn’t survive the fight.” He looked to the fallen guard. “We will have to gather whatever we can before returning to Almandir. I don’t look forward to explaining that the Umbral Ceraphid never existed… Speaking of gathering though, Talia, do you remember where the assassins placed their camp?”
“That’s where I followed them from,” I said smiling.
We gathered what we could from the fallen foes before moving on. I helped myself to the woman’s greatsword and the man’s halberd, the others loaded the remaining weapons, more valuable pieces of armor, and anything else of value they had into the horse’s saddlebags. Some of the guards left to retrieve the mage’s spellbooks, and when they returned I led them all to the assassins’ camp.
There was nothing of value left at their main gathering site, but of course, there was also Saul Yorandim’s not-so-final resting place. The prince paused when he saw the corpse, the exposed chest cut completely open while the chainmail shirt, cotton undershirt, and breastplate lay discarded off to the side. He looked at me wordlessly.
“I don’t want to talk about it.” I said, adding his longsword to my Arsenal, and indicating that the rest was theirs to take. They chose to keep his breastplate, and leave the rest.
As the search concluded, I chose to broach a fairly important subject. “Do you know which way leads back to the swamp? I really need to wash off all this blood before it gets any harder.” My hair was already starting to feel dangerously solid. I really didn’t want to cut it off; I had spent years growing it out!
“There’s a freshwater stream just off to the southeast,” he pointed. I turned to go, but then I noticed him reaching for something in his saddlebag. “Here, take this,” he said, offering what appeared to be some kind of brush. “It’s enchanted: it will make any impurity come right off.”
I took the offered item, smiling up at him. This would be so useful! I couldn’t wait to try it out! As I began heading for the stream, I idly reflected on his face before I turned to go. It had been turning red again. Had he been… blushing?
*****************************************************
The water flowed over me, and all the accumulated blood, viscera, and occasional bone fragments flowed away with it. This was like magic! Well, it was magic. The useful kind!
I wondered what Prince Corinn would think if he saw me now. He’d actually seemed to show some interest… which I’d noticed… since when did I care about that? Why did it matter whether he showed interest? I just wanted to investigate him… very closely… because…
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…why? I found math interesting because it was a tool to solve problems. I found sports interesting because they were a way to keep myself ahead of the competition. I found Corinn interesting because… he was aesthetically pleasing? Then why did he make me feel…
Wait, feelings? When did I ever care about feelings? All they ever do is distract you and keep you from focusing on what’s important! Why was I thinking about feelings… oh. OH, THAT GARBAGE EXCUSE FOR AN RPG HAD CROSSED THE LINE! IT WAS MESSING WITH MY HEAD! IT WAS USING THAT STUPID COURTESAN CLASS TO MESS WITH MY HEAD!
THIS WAS TOO FAR! It was one thing to give me useful knowledge, but now it was MESSING WITH MY THOUGHTS by making me think about STUPID FEELINGS that I never wanted, I just wanted to get a job better than anyone else, and be the best, and… and… and why did I keep wanting to study interesting boys? What did that have to do with succeeding at life? But… if it didn’t… if it didn’t… then that would mean…
…it would mean the emotions had been affecting me all along! After all the effort I’d put in to focus on succeeding, they’d been messing with me the whole time! I would just have to try harder, keeping my focus on what mattered: winning. I would win, because… because it felt good? Was that really all there was to it? Was everything I did based on feelings? But they were so vague! And confusing! And they sometimes felt bad!
I would have to master them! I was Talia Shimada, and I was going to RULE my emotions; they would not RULE ME! If they were going to try to make me feel bad, I would force them to make me feel GOOD instead! It would be hard, because they were messy and confusing, but I never backed down from challenges. This was just another obstacle that I was going to beat!
So, about that Courtesan class… it didn’t really seem to have changed my emotions, it just made it easier to think about them. Probably that Mental Clarity ability. If I was going to master my emotions, the class could actually prove quite useful. But how would I level in it… OW, MY ARM!
THINK YOU CAN INTERUPT ME YOU UGLY LIZARD? LET ME FIX YOUR BRAIN FOR YOU! FIX IT! HARD! THERE, BETTER!
The six foot reptile drifted down the stream, cranial fluids leading out from its shattered skull. A do-over from the brush still clenched in my other fist was enough to clean off the minor spatter of viscera from this latest kill. Well, seems I would need to be more careful about where I decided to think deeply about something. For now, it was time to head back to everyone else.
*****************************************************
They all stared when I returned. Yes, walking around in the nude did attract attention. I wasn’t sure if they had been staring at me like that before; I hadn’t really been paying attention then. Prince Corinn was definitely blushing, the other two men were trying to be respectful, and the woman was glancing at Corinn with a look of wry amusement.
I gave the prince another smile as I handed back his brush. “Thanks, it was amazing!” If I was going to learn how to make myself feel good, I might as well as well start with something that I knew held my interest.
“I- I’m glad you liked it!” he said, smiling awkwardly. He had actually stuttered! I heard the woman stifle a burst of laughter behind me. I could already feel warm inside. This was going well!
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I waited a moment to see if he wanted to say anything else, and then stepped back. Eh, I could always continue later. He took a moment to compose himself, and then addressed everyone.
“Well, we’ve now searched through everything these assassins had. Since they kept nothing that could be traced back to their employer, we’ll just have to return to Almandir. Perhaps we’ll find something else to lead us to them, but I’m not holding out hope,” he grimaced. “Things like this are becoming unfortunately common.”
“Since the Umbral Ceraphid never existed, we’ll be reporting that we searched thoroughly, even after the assassins confirmed it was a fabrication. Officially, we heard this confirmation during the battle, and all of the assassins were killed in a direct fight.”
“You,” he said, turning to me, “officially came across us during that battle, and lent crucial aid. In return for that aid, I offered you a spot on my personal guard, to replace the one I lost. Did you accept?”
Joining his guard would come with certain obligations, but I needed some sort of social foundation if I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life wandering in the wilderness. Besides, I liked him.
“I ‘accepted’ quite eagerly,” I replied, smiling brightly and shifting my weight on my hips. It had worked so far, and holding his interest would keep him close…
“…that’s… I was quite happy to hear that!” Oh yes, this was working very well… “Looking forward, the other royals will doubtless take the opportunity to question my thoroughness, and it’ll probably take more of my income to match the contribution requirements for this season, but there’s no use worrying about the inevitable. We’ll just have to find other ways to advance the Imperium.”
“For now, we focus on a safe return. Shira, Renfry, you can scout ahead. Veers, since you lost your horse, you’ll be taking Trevor’s. Ride alongside me while you acclimate it. And Talia, since we don’t have any other horses, you’ll be riding with me.”
They were all mounting up. Corinn offered me his hand and I took it, letting him pull me up towards the saddle. I swung my leg over it once I was high enough, and got settled behind him, wrapping my arms around his chest armor and leaning forward, my mouth inclined toward his left ear. “Well,” I said. “Are we ready to go?”
He actually froze. I could see his mouth moving, but not forming words, and his face was beet-red. Did that actually make him more attractive? It certainly made me feel good. This was so much fun! Ahead of me, I heard Shira burst out laughing.
[Level Up: Courtesan Level 6!]
Maybe getting sent to another world wasn’t so bad after all?
*****************************************************
The ride was surprisingly uneventful. Foolish predators had been a regular occurrence during my trek through these woods, but apparently, a mounted party of five was a stronger deterrent. I kept my arms wrapped around Corinn’s intricate plate armor, my face close enough to catch the smell of his hair and skin. For the first hour, he remained tense, breathing quickly, but in time he became comfortable with my presence behind him. I found it quite comfortable too.
By the time we stopped, the marsh was to our north, and starting to recede behind us. Looking at our pace of movement, it seemed likely that my companions had Abilities for making their horses move faster. Certainly useful.
We made camp on a slightly elevated patch of ground. Corinn, Shira, and Veers retrieved tents from the saddlebags, unrolling them onto the flattest areas they could find. Each tent was a mix of canvas and poles, with no clear indication how they all connected. Corinn pressed a finger against a gem in his left gauntlet, and muttered “Yullinthrad.” All three tents began to rapidly assemble themselves, poles spearing into the ground and joining together as the canvas rose up to wrap itself around them.
We then had dinner around a campfire. My Enhanced Metabolism was still mostly satiated, but there was no reason to refuse. The meat was actually from the scythe monsters we’d fought earlier: one of the saddlebags had been enchanted to preserve its contents from rot and decay. It tasted better cooked than the raw meat I’d been having before.
Making conversation during the ride had been difficult, since Corinn had to face forward, but now we could all talk freely. I found out that the Yrmanni Imperium was some kind of extremely competitive meritocracy, with those who contributed the most getting the positions with the most influence. At the top was the currently hypothetical position of Imperator, attainable only with massive sustained contributions to the state, but granting dictatorial-level power, as long as they never made a significant mistake. Beneath that level were the Princes and Princesses like Corinn who, in return for advancing the state’s interests in a major fashion, could vote each other into bureaucratic leadership positions, from which they could direct the major functions of the state, answerable to no-one but the now-vacant Imperator. Corinn was the Primarch of Military Readiness, and had spent the past several years trying to bolster garrisons in preparation for a possible amphibious invasion by the Olgierian Empire, a very powerful nation to the north.
The conversation turned to the question of what constituted a contribution to the state. Many things, it turned out: military victories, scientific discoveries, new technologies, economic accomplishments, restoring social stability… and if all else failed, monetary contributions always worked. Ultimately, the amount for which something counted came down to the judgement of one’s peers. This led to obvious problems, but those issues had never gotten completely out of control. According to Corinn, the main thing stopping the others from using majority votes to disregard the contributions of their rivals was the knowledge that if the means of advancement ever became completely unmoored from physical accomplishments, everyone would be less secure. That hadn’t stopped a few people from trying though, apparently.
Corinn also wanted to know more about my own origins. Dangerous territory. I said that my memories were confused after the accident, mentioning stray recollections about how my parents were always pushing me to work hard and succeed. I also ‘recalled’ living in a city near a forest. Not quite lies… mostly.
He then asked me about my class. Well, no reason not to share that. He seemed interested to learn that I was a Nude Berserker, admitting that it did sound useful to have if you suddenly found yourself in a forest with absolutely nothing. Talking about Abilities, I confirmed my suspicion that I had been fortunate to get Regeneration and Personal Arsenal so early. Combat classes had the potential to gain either one, but they typically didn’t show up until after Level 50. Yes, my class definitely had its perks. Oh, and I didn’t tell him about the Courtesan levels. Not yet, anyway.
Eventually it was time to rest. Renfry was assigned first watch, and we all found our tents, Corinn leading me into his own. There was only one bedroll. Now, what to make of that?
I closed the flap behind me, letting the silence hang, showing a hint of a smile. Now, what was he going to say…
He looked at me, hesitating. I was pretty sure he was hoping for me to talk first. But I wouldn’t. This way was more fun!
“Well,” he began, then paused again. “You seemed pretty… interested in me on horseback, so I thought you might like to… spend the night together? If you don’t mind? I’m sorry, I’m not usually like this, it’s just…”
I stretched, extending my arms above me and my legs forward. I continued to look at Corinn, letting my smile widen. His eyes widened as well, and he stopped talking. Spending the night together sounded very interesting indeed! And… I did like the way he was staring at me.
Well. This playing around had been fun, but it was time to take a closer look. I twisted and repositioned one of my legs so I could push off, and then pounced on him before he could react. Now, how did this armor come off? I found straps underneath the shoulder pads, which, when undone, allowed me to remove the chest plate without much difficulty. Underneath was padded leather, which sadly hid what must have been impressive abdominal muscles.
“Oh! Talia!” he murmured in a daze, his eyes still wide. I found the straps for his arms and undid them as quickly as I could, pulling them off after his gauntlets. The straps for the legs were harder to find. As I slid down to look more closely, he lowered his head to gaze at me, not saying anything more.
I finally got the leg straps undone, and swiftly pulled off the remaining armor, tossing it aside. I was so close! I grabbed his arms, and pulled them above his head, so I could finally slide off that padded shirt. I felt a hint of resistance, but I was strong. Holding his arms in place underneath my thighs, I slid the shirt over his head, feeling his soft hair flow through my hands. I kept pulling until it was all the way off, treating myself to the sight of his bare chest.
Almost there now! I undid his belt, and pulled down his pants, along with everything else. His member nearly got caught on his undergarments, and I had to push it out of the way. I heard him gasp softly. That sensitive? Finally, everything was off. I had done it! After all this time, I had made it past all the obstacles! Now I could finally study him as much as I wanted!
I leaned over him, propping myself up with my arms. So much to appreciate! His face I’d admired before, but I took a moment to look at it again, noting his expression of… intense anticipation, I think? I then turned my gaze to his chest, with abdominals superior to my own considerable expectations... Below that… it was long, and hard. I wondered what it would feel like, pressed against me… And his legs had considerable musculature as well, definitely worth a second look…
I noticed that Corinn’s expression had been turning into confusion. Had I missed something? Maybe I was supposed to be investigating more closely? I slid my hands over his chest’s rippling muscles, feeling the motion of his rapid breathing. His own hands rose, brushing against my shoulders, then one of them moving onto my right breast. It felt… “mMM… Mm!” good. Yes, it felt good.
His other hand moved between my legs, one of his fingers sliding in. That “Ahh!” felt “MmmmMm!!!” very “Mmmm! Ah!” good. Yes! Very, very good! I wondered what he would feel if I put my hands on his instrument down there. I slid one of them up and down its length, noticing his breathing becoming even faster as gave gasps of what must have been pleasure.
This investigation had gone in an unexpected direction. Why “Ah, oh yes!” was that? Think… oh, right, sex! I found him so interesting because I wanted to have sex with him! That was why it felt so good for him to touch my sex organs! And he felt good when I touched his because he wanted to have sex with me! It was all so obvious, I must have missed a whole lot of obvious things just because I hadn’t wanted to think about emotions!
Well, I was now committed to making myself feel good, so what was I waiting for? With Selective Fertility, it wasn’t like I was going to get pregnant or anything! I lifted his member up in my hands, and slid down on top of it as Corinn watched me, his face full of desperate anticipation. I felt… full. There was a warmth inside me, and it felt good. I leaned forward, pressing my body closer to his. I let our lips touch… his soft lips felt so good, along with the warmth of his smooth, muscular body against mine, the warmth of him inside me…
I wrapped my arms around him and held tight, pressing them against his skin, harder and harder. Yes, HARDER! This felt so good! I would feel more! MORE!
“T-Talia…” Corinn gasped, struggling for breath. “You’re squeezing too hard…”
Oh. Well, I didn’t want to injure him. He was far too valuable for that. I relaxed my grip, moving my hands along his back, feeling every ridge, from the curve of his rear, to the soft, golden hair of his head. He passed his hands along my back as well, pausing to comfortably knead my bottom.
His breathing hitched, and suddenly I felt another warmth inside me, as his expression started to relax, before suddenly becoming alarmed. “Oh, Talia, I’m sorry! I should have been paying more attention, now-”
“It’s okay,” I said. “I have Selective Fertility.”
His look changed to confusion. “But… where did you get Selective Fertility?”
“I’ll explain later.” I too, felt myself begin to relax, his warm body now comfortable, rather than exhilarating. I slid off of him, moving to lie down at his side. My plan hadn’t turned out quite the way I’d expected but its conclusion had certainly been… satisfying.
[Level Up: Courtesan Level 9!]
[Ability Obtained: Controlled Emotions!]
[Ability Obtained: Enhanced Insight!]
Yes! Exactly what I wanted! Soon, all my emotions would be completely under control! I would never be sad, or disappointed, or lonely ever again! Funny how I had thought of this class as an insult; it had proven very useful indeed! And since this experience had been so enjoyable, I would have to try it out more as much as I could!
…well, maybe I wouldn’t go that far. I would only try it out with attractive people.
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