《Memories of the Gluttonous Sage》Day 7 (5) And a lecture for the pigeon
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Conroy’s assistant wrote down the new border locations and arrangements to be made. Princess Freya muttered “Finally, this meeting is almost over.” The king sighed when he heard his daughter’s complaint, then directed his attention towards Cain. “Is there anything else that needs to be done?” He asked Cain cautiously.
“Nah. Just need to say some quick stuff because people are dumb.” Cain announced and got up from his chair and walked over to a corner of the map. Athena vanished from his lap and reappeared on his back. “First off, has anyone been in this territory before? Raise your hand if you have; I don’t think the lord of this territory is here at this meeting so I’m going to have to inform him about the changes.” Cain pointed to the back half of the land he acquired, the part that was nested into the corner of Murloc Bay and Hellion Forest.
Some nobles and knights shyly raised their hands, others merely nodded. Dresil extracted the relevant locations from their memories so Cain could focus on what’s next. He inspected the recent thoughts of most of the nobles and let out a brief sigh, slightly frustrated there could be humans this stupid.
“Now let’s get this next bit out of the way. Some of you dumb nobles have decided to hire assassins to kill me “before I can get any stronger,” scheme to put me in a disadvantageous position then offer me help to win my favor, or even target the members of Horizon. Seriously…? Did you guys learn nothing from the past few hours?” Cain paced around the room as he talked, observing the reactions of the remaining nobles.
“...Now some of you are questioning whether I can read minds. Really…? As if I’d need an ability like that to see through your 1-dimensional plans your pea-sized brains could come up with.” Although I did just scan the thoughts of about 50 of them… ugh, I’m definitely going to be ded tomorrow. Cain thought to himself as some nobles shouted curses in retaliation to his words.
—Group Chat: Cain, Dresil, Bob, and Rex— (17ms)
Rex: I thought you said you weren’t going to read other’s minds/thoughts.
Cain: Ye I did. The aftermath of this meeting will almost always have some effect on the party members no matter the outcome. Thus I’m using it to make sure that there’s less trouble for them since that means less trouble for me while I’m traveling with them.
Rex: Uh huh… Yeah, nope. I’ll just ask Bob later.
Dresil: :popcorn:
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“Yeah, yeah. You guys could’ve at least came up with a better plan. I’m afraid you're a few days too late to even think about scratching me with such simple tricks.” Cain paused to take a look at that pigeon that was still banging its head against the window; it caught his attention with a loud thud a minute ago. He scanned through the nobles' memories once more to see if things were settled.
“Really..? You guys just thought of the same thing but different style… seriously though, even that pigeon is smarter than you guys. Wait, why is that pigeon still there..?” [Oi, you dumb bird. Either go find a door or be stupid enough to ram through the window. Either way you’re not being too efficient right now, work smarter not harder.] Cain transmitted to the pigeon while the nobles were once again insulting Cain. The pigeon took off from the windowsill, nearly frightened to death that an unknown voice popped into its head.
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“Aight, now that’s taken care of, if you guys touch anyone from Horizon, you die.” The nobles got goosebumps just from how casually Cain declared that. “Nah, just joking. Just don’t mess with them too much and you’ll be safe. Treat them like you would any other party, not too favorably but not too harshly when you’re strangers and such.” Idk why… but after lecturing the other nobles and that pigeon, I’m really feeling the urge to do some more.
—Group Chat: Cain, Dresil, Bob, and Rex— (11ms)
Rex: Oh god… he’s become addicted to lecturing.
Cain: You want one too?
Rex: No pleaseeeee.
Rex: :Dead:
Bob: Damn, shut down.
Dresil: Completely obliterated.
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“Next is your idiotic superiority complexes. There is literally no difference between nobles and commoners. In fact, if you gave the title of a noble and some land to a commoner, they’d govern it even better than half of y’all.” yikes… my country side is coming out. Cain thought while observing the nobles smirks and “hmphs” of disbelief. “The only thing that’s different between a noble and a commoner is their birth, and that isn’t something one can decide.
“The first king was also a commoner. That is, until he launched a war or conquered some land and declared himself king over it. The nobles he then appointed were born from common birth but were granted titles and rewards from their deeds. This is how a true noble should be chosen, by their accomplishments for the people and not their birth.
“A true noble abides by the “noblesse oblige.” If you give commoners better living conditions and enrich them, they will in turn enrich you.” Cain paused, noticing many expressions of disgust, discomfort, and mild resentment. “What? You don’t like being lectured by someone half your age? Do better then and I won’t have to. I’ve spoken more today than I have all last month because of you idiots.”
“Why are you even lecturing us then?” One brave noble asked Cain. “Good question, here’s a cookie.” Cain created a fake gate and a cookie from mana underneath it. The noble caught the cookie and cautiously took a bite. “Damn, this is actually pretty good.” He accidentally commented, stunned by the cookie’s deliciousness.
“Right? Anyways, to answer your question: I’ll be staying here for a few months and in the future, my friends will be staying here as well. So I’d prefer if they didn’t get caught up in the fall of a country.” Cain took a deep breath then sat back down. ‘That was oddly therapeutic…’
—Group Chat: Cain, Dresil, Bob, and Rex— (21ms)
Rex: Wow, you have friends?
Rex: Wait, don’t assign me homework, I take that back.
Cain: Pffft, relax.
Cain: “In the future, my friends…”, as in friends I’ll make in the future. Most likely the members of the Horizon party.
Bob: Aren’t they already your friends though?
Cain: Eh, borderline between acquaintances and friends.
Cain: Not entirely sure how to label the relationship since it seems to be developing fast due to their nature of work, and will continue to do so.
Dresil: Then don’t label it. :shrug:
Cain: …but how else am I supposed to describe it then?
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Dresil: …idk.
Dresil: I’m going back to binging though, this is taking a while.
Cain: Ye, it should be done soon though.
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“Ahem.. It seems you have a lot of advice to give.” The king cleared his throat to disrupt the awkward silence left by Cain. “Yep, I’ve seen countless kingdoms rise and fall.” ...more like read about them though. Cain remarks while the king is considering a certain matter. “By any chance, do you have any advice for this old fellow?” The king states after a short moment.
“You’ll be a fine king once you cut those strings.” Cain replied. The king’s eyebrows raise in shock. “You even know about that matter?” The king asks, judging Cain’s expressions and body language. “As long as I have seen your face, all of your plans and secrets are known to me. Once I know your name or your face, I can kill you at any time, anywhere.” The surrounding nobles shudder in fright, some even thinking that Cain is a demon or a monster.
“Really…? Some of you just thought that I was a demon or monster right now, didn’t you?” Cain facepalms while shaking his head. “Hahh… Seriously just how idiotic can you be. Just because someone is different from the norm, does not mean they are a monster or demonic. If you don’t believe me you can ask the pope right there to do a test or something. I’m pretty sure one exists.” pfft, I almost forgot he existed. Cain thinks while pointing at the pope.
None of the nobles dare ask the pope to do a test on Cain. That’d be the same as requesting the king to see if someone is lying or not, something none of them had the status or guts to do. “Alright that matter is settled. Ah yes, Your Holiness. Did you receive my token of gratitude?” Cain’s sudden question directed at the pope caught him off guard, to which he only nodded as a response.
“Sweet. That’s thanks for making it possible for me to come to this country. It’ll work as intended now. I recommend implementing something called “crosswalks” first since you already have sidewalks and a main road but lack those. As for the original purpose for making it possible for me to come here… tell me later and I’ll think about it.” The priest next to the pope logs everything Cain is saying, word for word, for the pope’s future reference.
“Hah… finally, last thing. I’m currently accepting any maids any of the nobles here suggest for me. I won’t be paying you anything and if you’re smart enough you’ll know why. I’ll still pay the maids’ wages though. You’ve got until I leave the capitol… so about three months.” Cain got up from his chair while speaking, Dresil absorbed the vines that composed the chair and waited for Cain to be done.
—SRI— (1113ms)
Cain: Create a portal 300 meters above the territory bordering Murloc Bay and Hellion Forest.
SRI: Processing request…
SRI: Processing paused
SRI: Receiving imported memories from “Dresil”
SRI: Destination has been set 300 meters above imported memories.
SRI: Confirm or deny.
Cain: Confirm.
SRI: Error: No ground.
Cain: Override.
SRI: Error ignored.
SRI: Processing request…
SRI: Request processed (1042ms)
SRI: Performing request…
SRI: Request performed (69ms)
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“Aight, peace out folks.” SRI created a portal while Cain was speaking. He created a magic circle that exerted a normal force to anything on it directly in front of the exit. This served as the ground so Cain wouldn’t just freefall after leaving the portal. Cain walked into Dresil, making it seem like she just vanished into the air. Dresil merely merged into Cain’s clothes the moment they made contact with her, not even leaving a single leaf behind for the nobles to stare at. Cain dispelled the cubic formation used to disguise Dresil’s facial expressions as he walked through the portal.
All of the nobles collectively sighed once the menace left the room. Some knights exhaled sharply in relief as well. Although they were merely there for appearance’s sake, and hardly for actual bodyguard duty, Cain’s appearance made them feel a helplessness like no other. He could not be outsmarted, outperformed, or overpowered. If he wanted someone’s life, no one in the throne room could stop him.
In their moment of relief, almost everyone in the room failed to realize that the portal was still open. Cain waltzed out of the portal, talking while walking, “Yo, long time no see. So I forgot— the heck is up with y’all’s faces? Who killed your dog?” Nearly every noble wore an expression of dread, some even collapsed. “Anyways, I need some sort of official documentation to prove that I now own the rights to the land so I can show that noble.” Cain ignored their reactions and continued with what he came to say.
“Conroy, draw up a rough statement and stamp it with the royal seal.” Conroy’s assistant pulled out a table, ink glass, and quill from a spatial ring and set it up within seconds. Conroy pulled out some parchment paper and began scribbling while the king continued talking. “We’ll have to use this temporary order as the proof of the deed until we can draft up an official one in the archives. Is that alright with you? Also, there’s a banquet tonight to celebrate the end of the invasion with no casualties. You and Horizon are invited to attend.”
Cain nodded and waited a few seconds after the king spoke for Conroy to finish. Conroy stamped and rolled the parchment paper and offered it to his assistant. Cain used SRI to change the coordinates of it to in front of him, then he snatched it from the air. “Sweet, I’ll see you guys later then” Some nobles’ faces were the epitome of “No, please… don’t come back ever again.”
Cain waived the parchment in the air to show he got it while turning around and speaking. The nobles held their breaths until the portal closed then collectively let out a hefty exhale. “Let’s continue with our annual meeting then.” The king declared.
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