Leisurely gazing at the clear blue sky outside of the hospital window, flocking wings of the birds as they transverse the sky freely while I’m in here in my bed watching them. Sometimes, I wanted to see the world over the horizon. But, I am unable to do so. Due to some circumstances with my body, my condition doesn’t allow me.

Why is the world so unfair? Why can’t everyone be equal?

Equality, a word that I despise the most. Human beings live in a society where they always fight for equality. Some say we are equal at birth, but that gradually changes as we grew because God does not create one person above a person or below them. I find those sayings utterly nonsensical. Not all human beings are born equal.

I loathe it.

I hate it.

Why me.

An omnipotent being that’s responsible for creating heaven and Earth, as well as everything. And a being that’s worshipped by many, a being that loves humans dearly as it treats them as its children.

If there’s such being like that, why am I like this?

If there’s such being like that, why am I treated unequally unlike everyone else like my family?

If there’s such being like that, why am I the only one who needs to perish?

Why me? What did I do?

These were the exact thoughts I’m having on a daily basis. I’ve truly accepted the fate that’s bestowed in my life. And I can’t do anything about it, nor anyone in my family or the doctors. I’m truly the unluckiest, but at the same time, blessed.

Fukushima Aki, the name that my parents gave to me. Since birth, I’m an extroverted person who’s friendly to others. I’ve been blessed with a wonderful family and a sibling who’s caring and kind.

My parents came from a middle-class household which is sufficient enough to lead me and my brother to a healthy life. Dad is the owner of a butchery shop in the neighborhood which he inherited from my grandfather. Mom is a housewife who always cooks delicious meals and is a sweet, caring mother. Then, my brother; he’s 2 years younger than me; he’s kind and shy. I’m one of those fortunate ones to be blessed with a wonderful family.

Despite that, I’ve been cursed by an illness. Growing up I was quite healthy, seldom did I get sick, but that all changed when I got into middle school. One day in class, my nose started bleeding and coughing up blood, afterward I collapsed on the ground which alarmed all my classmates and teacher. That day, my life turned upside-down.

They have diagnosed me with severe terminal cancer which only got find out that day. None of my parents knew about it, but I can’t say for myself because I’m not telling them all about the sudden headaches, nausea, and other factors. I thought all of them are caused by fatigue from school or playing. But there at times, where I lost the sense of motor skills in my hands; But I chose to ignore it and treated it as normal occurrences.

Because of my idiotic self, I'm the one who did this to myself. I’m the one to blame. From that point, I quit school and basically my life itself too, living in the hospital as I wonder to myself while waiting for death. Luckily, I still managed to live for 6 years despite my worsened condition. Everything in my body is slowly deteriorating as time passes.

I’m indebted to my parents and little brother. In spite of being a burden to them with a ticking clock where it’s better for me to be dead, they kept taking care of me, and I’m grateful for it. But, it’s better to let me die since I’m just a deadweight. Sometimes, I would keep my eyes close as I listen to the sobbing noises of my mother and father.

I hate that feeling.

I can't help but feel helpless and pathetic.

Furthermore, I have a brother whom I’m proud of, he’s a smart person who excels in academics, a person who has a bright future ahead of him—And, I’m happy for him. He visits me every day in the hospital after school, which worries me if he’s able to hang out with his friends at school. I don’t want to be the reason why he’s missing out on his teenage life.

My brother is a bonafide Otaku, he loves playing these erotic videogames, and he would often let me watch him play it. Honestly, it’s quite embarrassing to watch it but seeing his cheerful expression whenever he would show something to me is enough.

With numerous ero-games he showed me, one stood out to me which is the Spirit Infinite, a magical game where every character has this so-called Spirits of the Lost Ark or beast mythical beings. It stood out more probably because of how well-fleshed out the female characters are, in the end. Moreover, it's a battle fantasy story, which I'm really fond of, and if not for my brother I wouldn't be able to 'witness this great masterpiece' in his words. He summarized the story for me.

The story's premise is quite simple; The protagonist fights an 'evil entity' alongside fifteen beautiful girls. I don’t know the whole thing since I only managed to play a few parts of the story with the help of my brother. The motor skills to even be able to hold the console is impossible for me, so my brother plays it for me.

The story revolves around the protagonist Shin Morino, a black-haired male who’s enslaved by his ideals of justice and righteousness; A wannabe hero. A hero who’s too blinded by his own ideals. A stubborn hero who will persevere for justice. I’m probably just hating on the male character because of his narrow-minded thinking. But at least he got a harem.

What can I say...

Shin is born and raised as a commoner, his parents died at an early age. The person who raised him since childhood was his uncle.

His uncle raised, trained, and educated him as he would his own son, but one day he left Shin a letter stating that he should enroll in Altus Academy, a prestigious school for nobles. However, before he could enroll, Shin needs to acquire a mythical beast or in short, Guardians, who will then grant him power.

What a cliche storyline.

However, before he could enroll join the school, he needs to acquire a beast mythical beings or in short Guardians, who will grant him power. Once a human comes of age at fifteen, they undergo a mandatory ceremony, the same can be said for all species around the globe.

Obviously, the protagonist will get an overpowered Guardian. I really hate the writers of this story, but what can I say, it’s an ero-game. Prioritizing fan service over the story, which sounds logical for me since their primary goal is the ero.

Afterward, blah-blah exposition, the story continues where he meets his harem targets at the academy; but there is one girl that my brother really likes, Lily Blanch, an elf princess descendant of the kingdom of Askar. What my brother liked was her tsundere personality, she’s sweet and caring, above all of them is her kind nature.

Although she’s insecure about her appearance, which doesn’t make any sense. Elves are creatures that are well-known for their beauty, as they’re one of the creatures that Gaia loves the most. Gaia is a deity-god of nature that they worship. On top of that, Lily is one of the most beautiful females in the world of Spirit Requiem, as per my brother’s words. I could say the same, from how her drawing was portrayed. She’s a real beauty.

From that point forward, I have no idea what comes next because my condition got worse. Though, I wish I can least finish that story before I die. I’ve got many things that I wanted to do, but due to my physical condition; I’m unable to do them. I want to read various kinds of stories like Light novels and mangas, which my brother is so passionate about. So, at the very least, I want to finish the game and enjoy it.

Before I die was that my parents and brother would continue their life like normal even when I’m gone. That’s my only wish for them. And I’m very grateful for what they’ve done to them. But at the same time, I want to apologize for being a burden to them.

If I could have a second chance, I would fulfill it by doing things I wasn’t able to do here. And, payback for all the good things that my family did for me. But, this is reality, I can’t do anything about it. I could only cry in my mind. When I got this illness, the only thing it gave me was misery and depression.

Then my day has come. I was left alone in my hospital room, all alone, gazing at the birds outside. I could feel death has come to get me. At that moment, I have one wish which is to have my family in here one last time before I pass away. But life hates me, left alone, as my visions fade into the pit of darkness.

The window of my hospital room opened by a strong breeze of wind. Following that, an auburn bird flew inside of my room flying circles around my body before it decided to land on top of my dying body.

At least, I’m being accompanied by a bird before I die. On my last breath, I heard a pleasant voice saying. “Enjoy.”

After that, Fukushima Aki was pronounced dead on Tuesday of December 10, 20XX.