What did I want to be?

It was a question I had been asked so many times throughout my life. From my parents, my significant others, my teachers, my bosses. Everyone wanted the answer but I never had anything concrete to give them. Oh I had ideas, of course, and I happily shared them. But what are ideas when there is no follow through? What use is a table, ready to be assembled, if it simply lies in pieces on the floor?

I had only lived on Earth for 37 years. In older eras that may have been ancient, but it was not even a quarter of the average of those in my time. Not including anyone who had enhancements made to their body or genes. It was still over twice what most people took to make at least a concrete step towards their path through life. Unlike most tests this one I failed.

I never found the answer.

As I slept in the cave, my dreams were plagued with these doubts and fears. However, that Resonance I felt resound throughout me when I used that strange book rang again. Just as when I was cleansed of corruption or had selected my Focus. That sound brought an element of hope. Not simply hope but the nebulous thought that my deepest, truest dreams, could be reality. That I could - pardon my intellectual property theft, im in another world - make it so.

I awoke from my existential prison to find a giant ball of fluff pouncing on my chest and my breath rapidly leaving my lungs. Screaming out a hoarse, nearly silent cry I jumped to my feet only to fall almost instantly to my hands and knees, dragging in great gulps of air as if I had been gut punched. Which I had been. By a living pillow the size of Hulk the pitbull.

When I could finally exhale without choking to death I looked up, to find one of the absolute cutest things I could have ever conceived of. That anyone could, with similar sensibilities to my own, of course. I rubbed my eyes , wiping away the sweat that layered my entire body, and took another glance at the creature before me to make sure I was not still dreaming.

I wasn’t.

Well if this is Jus I think we’ll get along well. As long as I can reign in my daw-reactor. I tried to do so then, and stopped myself from immediately reaching out. To be fair the impulsive dip in toxic water was still in the forefront of my mind. Gotta think before I act, maybe? The blob of cuteness tilted it’s head and I felt another wave of adorable threaten to well up within me.

Okay, Okay. I’ll cut the suspense. Imagine a giant mouse, golden and covered in silky, long beautiful golden fur. Now imagine that mouse had a body the size of an elephant, and a muzzle reminiscent of a dire wolf (not an actual wolf, btw) or fox. Sounds terrifying right? That’s Sorrelly.

The Torridae before me was a little different. Well, a lot different. They looked almost identical to Sorrelly, but if someone had decided to make it a pocket monster, and then thought hey, let’s make a baby version.

Babies of just about any animal are cute, but Jus, or whoever it was, was a step above. Pure and unadulterated Kawaii. A literally round ball of hair barely staying down and wisping everywhere. They were about the size of an extra-large beach ball in fact, but with that muzzle that might be dangerous but poked out of the fluff like a nub antler on a young buck.

We stared at each other for a good few minutes. Me taking in the cuteness before me and they.. Actually I have no idea what they were doing, at least until they spoke. I should say they spoke just like Sorrelly, straight to my brain. Though to be fair the connection that I felt establish itself had a wavy feel to it, as if it wasn’t quite under control.

| You’re weird. Who stares at someone like that? S has a run to do in the Wells and is waiting for you in the other room. You’ve been out three days now and we need to get moving ourselves. Are you functional?

I couldn’t help but chuckle, sitting back on my legs and sighing heavily. Fuck it. What’s the point in holding back now? After everything?

That was the moment. I’ve done a lot since first coming to Amanuensia and the thousands of other Realms I’ve visited since, but none of it would have happened if not for that exact thought. It was then I decided, wholly and completely, to follow this new self that I could be. To put behind me that fear of what may happen, that always managed to hold me back. I’d make it my bitch and ride it higher than the sky. Glass ceilings? Pfft. I was going to break them all.

Or, at least as many as I needed to relax somewhere reading and watching the Tube. It wasn’t something I thought about much at the time, given my addled state, but the effect nonetheless manifested. That resolve to be who I wanted to be, whatever that would turn out to become, seeped into me and eased my weakened state a small amount, but enough to get me moving. And maybe it was a side effect, or just my mind being in a topsy turvy place, but I held nothing back.

You know when you ask someone if they’re alright, you don’t really expect or want an answer but they give you a long tirade anyway. It was kind of like that.

“No.” I sighed “No, I am not functional. But I will be. Ive died once, nearly died twice, met gods or Apoths or whatever. Almost died again from water of all things, and was saved from death at the hands of a magic monster scorpion human hybrid by a giant mouse.. Sorry, Torridae. It’s.. it’s been a rough couple days. I’m not ok, but I will be.

|A few minutes delay is acceptable. There is water in the fixture to your right, and your clothes are in the cabinet below the washstand. Please do not make a mess, I’ll be the one to clean it. Your.. plant matter, is also tucked in the cabinet, on the small shelf above your garments. I am given to understand it is a substance to alter your perception. Please refrain from using it until after the meeting.

I was flabbergasted. They didn’t respond to my outburst, but it was how they just went straight to house rules, as if I was an itinerant guest or a friend of their kids. At least they didn’t give me useless platitudes, but if the connection they made is anything like Sorrelly’s they can at least feel my intent. They confirmed this by chiming in.

|This is an active connection. I can hear you thinking, your Forethoughts, not your Deep Mind. Please, wash up, and if it takes longer than a few minutes we will find a way to occupy ourselves.

They said this as they turned away and left, the connection ending as they passed the threshold of the room. Nothing else.

I sat there for a minute, drawing myself to my center. Grounding the storm around me and just taking deep breaths until I was calm. Okay! So, I’m not dead, I have magic in me in multiple forms, I assume, and I’m not on the verge of death for once in.. 4 days? Gotta make it at least double that this time. After my pep talk I found the mentioned washstand, which would not have looked out of place in a goblin or small elf or dwarf’s home given its height meeting my waist. Or maybe I got taller? I have changed, and don’t really have a frame of reference. I ignored said changes very pointedly. As much as I knew it was something I would have to face some point soon, I wanted to focus on getting this current crisis situated before moving to the next. The washstand had no mirror I had to ignore, so I took my time and looked past the oddly toned and colored skin.

Afterwards I found the pants and shirt I had woken with in the first cave and slipped them on, before nearly reverently picking up the remains of the only joint in existence. At least the one I was currently inhabiting. I inhaled it’s flora, fruity and yes, gas-like aromas. The blend creating something so unique and unlike anything I had ever had before. It had also gotten me more stoned, and in the best possible way, then any bud, shatter or D8 I had ever tried. Oooh, I can’t wait to get you inside me! Though I may save you since there’s literally nothing like you in this world, I think. Whatever, let’s go!

I slipped it into the breast pocket on my shirt, marveling at how soft the steam-colored fabric was, and shook my head to try and clear my thoughts. It didn’t help much, or at all really, but I stood and walked through the oblong entrance of stone nonetheless. Ready to face my destiny with poise and resolve, barefoot or no.

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Turns out, the meeting was nowhere near as serious and formal as my furry alarm had intimated. Sorrelly greeted me with a foghorn like squeak as I entered the large domed cave they waited in. The hallways from my small room had been short itself, and within 20 seconds I was before the massive Torridae once again. I’m on my feet this time, so that’s a step up!

After starting slightly at the loud tone that vibrated my body enough to qualify as chiropractic, I moved forward until I was just feet away from a maw that I had personal experience of being a weapon beyond most I had seen. Guns are one thing, but when there’s an elephant sized wolf mouse coming at you, they’re not enough. Oh, you may say, just get a bigger gun. But guess what? That fang-filled deathtrap has magic too. You’re fucked.

I gulped back a flashing fear, thinking that Sorrelly had saved me and given me something precious, and would totally not be ripping off my head like they had done to that thing. Their face, larger than my body, leaned in close. I could smell their breath waft over me, surprisingly fresh like mint and strawberry, and as they -hopefully- smiled I could see the same deadly rows of fangs that had saved me. The connection to them came back online, though this time I barely felt the energy flowing between us, and almost heard it, like a stream of pings faintly sounding in the background.

| You do not need to fear me, youngling. I mean you no harm. Relax, and sit.

They waved towards the empty space around them, bare of decorations or furniture and other accouterments. At first I wondered if they meant the floor, when everything changed. Literally. The floor became flat and smoothed out its striped and swirled blues for a plain muted gray, from which rose a chair of the same material and two platforms to accommodate the Torridae. The bowled tops of the two offset and sized plinths and the seating of my chair puffed, while still retaining the same gray look. Though I expected it to be rock hard when I sat my ass cried pleasure for days. It was like someone had taken a cloud and made it look like rock. I nearly wept for joy and could only think back to how terrible my $500 gaming chair on Earth had been in comparison.

“Impressive, not gonna lie. These even beat out the ones Nott had in the Room.” I bounced a little for emphasis, getting a rumbling mental chuckle in return.

|I am not one for discomfort, no. How are you feeling? Jus here said you were having rough dreams, near the end.

“Physically? I feel great. I’ve got a new body and a new lease on that life, thanks to you. Mentally? I need some time to wrap my head around all of this.” I waved my hand around, hopefully indicating the world and not just their cave.

|Understandable. I can give you another day, if that is sufficient though soon the Rains will begin, and passing through our section of the Trench to the city will be impossible for weeks. By that time Jus’ enrollment period will have ended.

“Ah, yes. We didn’t really have much time to talk before. How does all that work?

|Well, we have time. But first, are you thirsty, hungry?

They waved their hand again, a smaller stack of stone rising next to my chair, already covered in cheese, some kind of meat and a small jug of water. My belly rumbled, and I tore into the dried, spiced meat like I hadn’t had food in my life. To be fair it was a new body, so I actually hadn’t. I realized I may have been a little hasty as I turned back towards Sorrelly with my face covered in crumbs, fearful that I had offended them. There was a twinkle in their eye, thankfully, and a small chuff and sense of amusement came over from them. I wiped my face, ignoring the slight look of disgust Jus seemed to be wearing at my display, and proceeded to eat more like a person and less like a dog with a bag of trash from a pizza place.

“Thanks, I uh.. the foods really good. Tastes familiar, almost like this stuff called salami back on earth. Cheese is really nutty.

|I’m sure you could find more of it in the City, almaran cured meats are common, but a thing is only common in the City if it is well liked. Now, onto the meat of the matter at hand.

I nearly choked from laughing as they waved a paw the size of my head towards the center of the empty space between us.

A circular table rose to knee height, made of the same stone as our seats. The top however, acted almost as a liquid. It moved in thick undulations like waves in a mud pit, forms slowly rising from the turbulence. Sorrelly spoke, drawing my attention away from the quickly forming buildings and structures of a grand looking city.

|This, is Amanuensia, also called the City, because it is the last in the Realm. Eons ago, this Realm was one. Power was spread throughout the planet, and came from Sikaris, the Everbright. Anyone, anywhere, could with time, effort, and some luck reach past their Fifth Oscillation and join the ranks of the Timeless. This gave rise to an ever-shifting power balance which eventually crumbled, leading to war ravaging the entire planet.

I sipped from the water jug, my eyes never leaving Sorrelly’s savagely beautiful visage. I heard a light tsk come from Jus’ direction when I almost failed to sit the jug back on my small table. Thankfully, the mishap was avoided and I contentedly listened to the history of another world eating more of the delicious but spicy cheese and meat, if more carefully and politely then before. This. Is. Awesome. I mean, I should probably be worried and freaking out, but this is real. It’s not a game or a book or my imagination. Crazy. The city still burbled its way into existence.

|This was a time before we knew of Apotheosis. We had legends and myths of a way past the barrier of the Realm, but none had achieved it through personal ability. Laxis was the first. During the strife and chaos consuming the globe, Laxis managed to breach past the dimensional coil, and achieved Apotheosis. He became not just one with his soul but he landed beyond the meta, and swam through the infinite Stream. He changed the world, literally. An Apoth, as you are well aware, is beyond the ken of those like us.

“What did he do?” I slapped a hand to my mouth as soon as the words left it, like a kid speaking out during story time. You really are a child in some ways, huh.

|You shouldn’t talk to yourself like that, at least not until you are able to communicate mentally and learn to filter out what you are sending. But to answer your question, he stratified the world. All Pneuma, Resonance, and other traces of Aurum or the Meta were all mixed together. Laxis took that all and arranged it from Aurum, all the way down to simple physical matter. 10 Pillars, stretching into infinity, separated from true interaction but connected in series. His assumption was that one began life in the physical portion, the first Pillar, and as they grew in ability and power they passed through the others progressively. Only able to complete an oscillation every second pillar strictly due to the availability of certain constituents of reality.

“Let me guess. Eventually he wasn’t around any longer, and the powers that be decided they like things the way the were, and a stupidly rigid and corrupted caste system took place.”

Sorrelly chuffed – I’ll never get over how terrifyingly cute it was – and affirmed my suspicion | Correct. Laxis was still around, though transformed. He no longer functioned on the same wavelength as the rest of us, but became the essence that shrouded and separated existence. In truth he was the Pillars. Due to the extreme struggle to rise, it took thousands before one who not only had the ability, but the will and need to change things stumbled upon something none knew existed. Marius Acullus had reached the ranks of the Timeless but without the help, and under the noses, of the ones who would keep things as they were.

|When he stepped onto this level, he learned a great secret. There were keys to the Pillars. Keys that when brought together would allow one access to change the Pillars makeup, by extension allowing one to control this reality at a fundamental level. He gathered followers, and started a rebellion from the Mortal Pillar to the Divine, and another war raged across the then fragmented world.

I took another drink to wash the remainder of the food down, and while I did not see exactly how this related to Jus and I, I was still utterly enraptured. World building and history had always been one of the high points when I read fiction, especially of the fantastic kind. And this was better, because even with embellishment over the years, at least some of it actually happened. Man I really hope they have something like movies. Illusion magic or something equivalent should work, right? If not, just gotta figure it out on my own. Ooh, I wonder if I can recover memories of stuff somehow. I’d have all my music back! Pay attention, stories getting good, I think.

Fortunately it did not seem that Sorrelly had picked up on my inane thoughts and had continued speaking

|After only a decade, Marcus had risen to the absolute height of power, one step away from Apotheosis. He managed to kill or otherwise disable the other Timeless in power, stealing away their Keys and in an act of utter horror and devastation unlike the world had ever known, he shattered the Pillars.

My eyes went wider than they already were, thoughts racing at the implications “So.. if he destroyed the Pillars that not only were arranging but are the Realm around us..

|Yes. You have an inkling of what happened. All layers of reality, from the Meta to the mundane, had been stratified, a gradient rearranging of the normal makeup of the world. When the Pillars broke this was reverted but the issue, and the reason the world is the way it is today, is that instead of being a mix of naturally occurring patterns and Resonant frequencies it was a mishmash of energy. It broke the Realm. The physical world still exists to a point, but it and the rest of the Realm’s energies are in a near-constant state of flux.

|Amanuensia was founded by survivors of this cataclysm. Two clans, a business, and a rag-tag group of refugees, who managed to create something beyond even the Timeless of the Realm’s past, with none of their abilities themselves. If anything, I would say they had the hidden help of an Apoth as I cannot fathom how the City itself was brought about.

“What do you mean, they would have needed the help of an Apoth? That seems a little overkill, doesn’t it? If I’m reading the power structure right.”

|It may seem that way, but what is seen as an ubiquitous everyday thing, just like you would have assumed of electricity or gravity on Earth, is not so simple. The Founder, as some call them, were of different Strata. Though they came from varying backgrounds and abilities, they all had the common goal of surviving in mind and thankfully for us, similar perceptions of what a true city should be. There were bit players, but the main three were the Maasai, a group of scholarly refugees who in their home of the First Strata, the so-called Mortal Layer, they had access to almost no energies other than the Empirical. Thus, they relied on technology to a great extent and created things not unlike those of earth, if powered by more magical means.

|Beside them were the Isnaruhn, a Phratry. Essentially a clan or sect of individuals with similar goals and bonded not unlike a family. From the Fifth Strata, also called the Gateway, they were the ones who decided, or were given orders, to allow access to the next Strata. They were warriors, but also wielders of Resonance unlike any below them, with finesse, if not raw power, equaling those above them.

|The third group, were rather strange. They wielded Resonance abilities available only at the height of the Pillars, but were know to have been located only on the Second Strata. A collection of monks who had isolated themselves for centuries from the world around them. It is believed they had hidden dragon in their midst, and were the reason the dreams of these disparate groups came to be.

“The City, you mean?”

|Exactly right. They dreamed of creating a meritorious collective. A place that anyone, given drive and perseverance, could make of themselves what they wanted, without restriction. There are only a handful of Commandments within the City, but once you arrive the Sponsor who meets you both will go over that in detail. Back to history.

|These three, and the others who had gathered with them, came to find Prisma. This is the great desert that once stretched across the entire continent. Here they built their home, while the world fell apart. Great storms of rampant energy, including Aurum in its purest form, roamed without warning. Through brillance and luck, they learned to harness these chaotic forces, and the first Limiters were created.

|If you can manipulate Aurum, you can do pretty much anything with the right Knowledge, Understanding and Will. The created devices which could harness Aurum and use it to fuel everything. I mean literally everything. It was used to create materials, push a button and out pops a diamond or a slat of wood or even a fully functional fusion reactor, given you knew how these things worked and their makeup.

|Resource scarcity was no longer an issue, and from there everything exploded. Only a scant 500 years later Amanuensia is now a home to an eclectic groups of people with things that you will have to experience to understand, trust me on that.

“I do trust you, really. I know that may be dumb, considering what I’ve learned but I do. And I look forward to seeing wonders, trust me” I repeated their words back with a smirk. Man I really need to figure out what pronouns people use here. Gender is really hard to determine for giant rodent/wolves, go figure.

|From individuals to Phratries, to Companies to the Streamers Union to the System Administrators.. it could be described as a meritocratic collectivist anarchy. Individual freedom and autonomy are two of the biggest features of its society. All ways to empower yourself, and by extension the City, are available to those who can make use of them. The Admins handle regulation of that, with oversight from all of the major players, with large decisions that affect the city being determined as a group. There is no ruling government, as you would see one, but most of the big hitters have a Timeless on their side, so really its more of a plethora of loosely associated governments all living and interacting together.

“That sounds appealing, but maybe really messy? Also, not that I’m not appreciative, that was an amazing story, but how does the history play in?

|To understand a people, it is beneficial to know where they came from, no?

I felt a slight increase to the connection between us, and a smaller voice piped in for the first time.

|Don’t listen to that. S loves stories. Ever since she saved me I’ve heard nothing but stories from the time I wake up until I go to sleep to escape them.

Sorrelly’s fur bristled, and if I didn’t know any better it looked as if the fur around her face had changed colors slightly. Awww, she’s embarassed. Also, she’s a she! Now just to figure out the little one.

|Be quiet, Jus. You love my stories and you know it, they prepare you for the world.

The small Torridae pulled their cheeks back, chuffing slightly but endearingly. My heart nearly dawwd me to death. | And all the monster’s hiding in it, yes. I know. I do love them, but you do kind of go on sometimes

|Yes well, Creed here is new to the Realm. Now, where were we?

“ The system of governance for the City. ”

|Aside from the fractious nature, they are well tied together through their bond to the city. To maintain this aspect of the City, everyone is required to provide for it. Though resources can be replicated with ease, new ways of using them are not so easily created. It is called Amanuensia because while it is not touted, or may not seem it upon first glance, it truly is a city of scholars and scribes. Improving the city, since all breakthroughs and knowledge are available to those of said things equivalent Oscillation ranking, is improving oneself. Knowledge is fully disseminated and available to those with the know how and ability to make use of it.

To become a Citizen, one who is allowed to live and partake in the bounty available to them in the City, one must follow these ideals. They will gain a Sponsor from among the Administrators typically, though I had a favor from an Independent, who will be taking the role of Jus’ Sponsorship. Essentially they vouch for you, act as a mentor and guide, etc. and after a year of working towards the betterment of the City, whatever form that takes for the applicant, they are granted provisional Citizenship for another year. As long as they do nothing that would bring lasting harm to the city, their Sponsor will go before the Admins and give testimony and full Citizenship will be granted.

|You however, will be Jus’ Dependent. You will be seen as a servant to the powers that be, but I will not hold you to that. As I mentioned I simply want a companion for Jus. One who can help with integration into this society from an outside perspective, and does not hold an agenda within the City. I am not expecting you to be best friends, but please, just have his back. Keep him safe while I cannot. As a Dependent you gain the same rights that Jus holds, as long as you work ‘under’ him. If you wish to apply for Citizenship yourself, which I would highly recommend once you break your second gate, you will need to find a Sponsor of your…

Sorrelly cut off without warning, her eyes glowing slightly with a malevolent golden hue that screamed danger. Her lips curled back in a vicious grin and a rumbling growl that shook my newly formed bones reverberated through the cave.

|They dare?!

I was terrified, and had no clue what was happening. Out of nowhere we had gone from a friendly chat to a very intense situation I was not happy to be around. My mouth clamped shut from the fear I felt due to Sorrelly’s state, but Jus thankfully stepped in | S, what’s happening? Is it a breach in the Wyrd’s walls?

She shook her head, and while the glow and aura did not fade completely it was subdued |Apologies for losing my temper, but I must go. The beast that attacked you was not alone. It seems Scouros and his brood have decided their Wyrd is not enough, and are launching an invasion on us now. Nearly a thousand.

I gasped. Weeeell shit. So much for safety. Maybe I’ll get to meet Nott again. Though he’ll probably make fun of me for dying so soon. “What do we do?”

Sorrelly snorted, | You and Jus do nothing. Stay here, and you’ll be safe. The Nest is highly safeguarded, and will not be breached by their ilk. Not that they will ever make it this far. I will cut them off at the root this time, and burn it after.

With those terrifying words Sorrelly became a blur and disappeared, leaving behind a quickly fading afterimage in my vision. Not moments later I heard the same squealing roar that had stopped my previous foes in its tracks, then screams loud enough to reach us in the heart of the cave. I looked at Jus with wide eyes, who looked back at me with the same. They spoke the words at the tip of my frozen tongue | Yeah, if you couldn’t tell by now I’ll give you a piece of very good advice.. don’t fuck with S or the Nest. Unless you want to die like that.

Their paws pointed towards the ongoing and increasing screams and I shuddered. I’d rather piss in Morah’s boots.